I OWN INVADER ZIM

...On DVD and DVD alone

Zim and Dib's Excellent-ish Adventure!

Chapter 1: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (that have Rocket Launchers!)

...Was the first thought that popped into the intrepid (and possibly crazy) ten-year old paranormal investigator.

"Watch out Dib!" yelled Taco-Man as he jumped away from the oncoming zombie horde.

"Don't worry about me TM! I can mow these guys down easily enough!" Dib pulled out his machine gun and, upon making an obligatory Scarface reference, began to kick the collective ass of the mutated undead that refused to yield. Where the hell is Zim! the boy thought angrily as he hastily reloaded the gun.

"Dib! HELP MEEEEE!" cried Taco-Man suddenly. Dib turned on his heel quickly and pumped round after round of fire into the zombies that had jumped upon and began eating the taco-y superhero, but it was no use.

"Taco-Man! NOOOO!" Dib exclaimed as TM was overwhelmed by the horde. Zim you sorry ass, where are you? Dib's eyes narrowed. The zombies advanced on the boy. Great, now I'm screwed! Dib thought desperately. Oh, how did I ever get into this damn mess in the first place? He thought, setting up a clever segue into the flashback which will eventually lead up to this point...

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"I can't wait 'til that alien scum gets a load of this!" Dib, with some new and needlessly complicated device resembling a mixture of a vacuum and a squirrel in his hand, cackled as his sister walked alongside him, her head cocked towards her Game-Slave 2.

"What if he's just plotting some sort of 'horrendous doom' for you?" Gaz questioned her brother wryly, then turned back to her game.

"Oh, I don't think so Gaz! I've got a really good feeling about this!"

Just then, Zim pulled up in a totally sweet black Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano in front of the two, having knocked over several schoolchildren and broken down a chain-link fence.

"If you want to survive get in the car!" Zim yelled at the the stunned Dib (who had dropped his weapon) and the not-so-stunned Gaz. The Irken ended up having to pull Dib in after Gaz got into the Ferrari willingly.

"HI!" Gir piped up from the shotgun position as the children were shoved in the backseat.

"What's happening? Where are you taking us?" Dib demanded of the Irken.

"I'm saving your damn life, so shut up!" Zim exclaimed, flooring it. Just then a giant laser beam fired through the Skool and adjacent buildings, destroying several city blocks.

"What the hell is that?" Dib screeched as a giant robot came out of nowhere, obviously being the cause of the laser. Gaz shrugged complacently, still mashing buttons to keep back a squad of robots in her game.

"I don't know! Shit has been cropping up all over Earth today, shit not even I, the AMAZING ZIM! can stop!"

"Somebody's destroying Earth! HOORAY!" Gir squealed enthusiastically.

"Yeah, and I have a real bone to pick with him!" Zim replied. "This was supposed to be MY planet to destroy!"

Suddenly, Zim turned sharply into an alleyway when several police cars came soaring off of the rooftops of surrounding buildings, landing in formation behind the Ferrari and blaring their sirens.

"Surrender extraterrestrial! You are being charged with being an alien and grand theft auto! Do not attempt to escape!" one cop yelled into a megaphone.

"Yeah, I kind of stole this car after my Voot Cruiser broke down..." Zim answered Dib's unspoken question. "Took them a while to figure it out, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do this!" with the press of a button two panels on either side of the Ferrari slid inwards and were replace by two gatling guns. A console rose from the floor underneath Gir's seat. "Gir, man the guns!" Zim commanded.

"Yes sir!" Gir's eyes flashed red for a second, then back to their regular cyan color. "IT'S ASPLODING TIME!"

Rounds of bullets streaked forwards into the oncoming police cars, who were unable to penetrate the invisible forcefield Zim had probably programmed into the car. The front car exploded after a few seconds, toppling over and causing the other cars to crash into it, causing a massive pile up and blocking the alleyway.

"Jesus Christ!" Dib yelled as he excitedly watched the destruction through the back window. Gaz remained nonplussed.

Zim, obviously still preoccupied with getting the hell off of Earth, burst out of the alleyway off of a convenient ramp and turned on the radio, but instead of some annoying pop singer's auto-tuned voice blaring through the car, the sides of the Ferrari once again slid inwards, this time revealing two giant wings. Pushing another button, thrusters ejected from the back of the Ferrari, and as the thrusters kicked in, the Ferrari blasted into the atmosphere.

"F-f-forget what I said about having a good feeling about this," Dib, nearly frozen with shock, chattered. Gaz shrugged.

WHUMP! Something landed heavily on the Ferrari's roof. "Gir! Go kill whoever that is!" Zim thundered.

"Yes master!" Gir saluted and jumped out of the car. It activated its rocket boosters and flew to the roof. Within seconds, a figure could be seen falling through the sky from the left-side of the car.

"Gir!" Zim pulled out the device he used to contact Gir with from his pack. "Are there any more?" Zim barked.

"Yes!"

"Who are they?"

"CIA! They're coming out of a giant airplane!"

"Oh, great... Gir get back inside. You two, fasten your seat-belts!" Zim pointed at the frozen-with-fear-Dib and the as of yet unperturbed Gaz. Gir flew back through the window right as Zim pulled into a deadly tailspin, throwing off the idiots who had tried to land on the Ferrari without parachutes. Making an abrupt U-turn, Zim brought up a cross-hairs display on the front window of the car, and after positioning it to lock on to the CIA's plane, flipped a switch and released two rockets from a compartment in the car's front bumper. A fiery explosion erupted from the plane as it began to fall from the sky.

Then out of nowhere a chunk of debris from the destroyed plane flew towards the car. Zim tried to dodge it, but it was no use. The debris hurtled towards the car, knocking a chunk of the right wing off. Now the winged Ferrari descended from the sky at a catastrophic speed.

"Oh God we're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna..." Dib kept repeating over and over.

"Shut up! Do you think I, the amazing ZIM! Would die from falling from the sky? You insult my superior Irken intellect!" Zim shouted back, pressing another button on the dash which caused a parachute to unfold from the car's roof, causing the four to float gently towards the ground.

And onto a railroad track. Right in front of a speeding train.

"Oh, come on!" Dib yelled.

A/N: Well, that's Chapter One! Don't worry, there's a reason for why Zim chose to save Dib and Gaz, and it has nothing to do with friendship or love or anything...