Disclaimer: Nothing is Mine! The song Fuuko chants is Blondie's "One Way or Another"

Author's Notes: IT'S TERRIBLY OOC BUT I NEEDED AN EXCUSE TO WRITE PORN! Hahahahhaha. Please don't take this seriously.

Chapter One

It wasn't so hard to figure out, really. With someone as insightful as she was, it just took a little concentration and observation.

Yanagi had always been pretty but today there was something luminous about her. Recca had always been jumpy just like the monkey Tokiya likened him to. However this morning he was extra bouncy and excitable. Then there were the secretive smiles they shared across the room. And the furtive glances Yanagi would throw Recca's way as she peacefully ate her lunch. So when Recca placed his hand on Yanagi's knee and the girl's lips curled pleasantly, Fuuko couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You two had sex!"

Fuuko didn't mean to blurt it out so loudly. It didn't help that they were in the library with a bunch of nerds who always followed all that 'silence' nonsense.

"Would you care to be more specific? There are four people on this table. I don't want anyone to assume that it was me and the monkey who had relations," Tokiya said from the chair beside her. He sent a sardonic smirk her way for good measure.

Yanagi blushed deeply, further implicating herself, while Recca decided being his stupid and hot-headed self was the best course of action.

"Why you-" Recca moved as if to jump across the table. Yanagi immediately placed a hand on his shoulder to placate him.

"Recca-kun, I'm feeling rather peckish. Perhaps we should go for some snack at that noodle house you told me about?" she said as she restrained him from attacking his teammates.

Recca's attitude switched as soon as he heard Yanagi's words. "You should've told me you're hungry earlier, my princess. Come on, let's get some food in ya'," he said sweetly.

"Pussy whipped," Fuuko said under her breath. Tokiya snorted.

"I heard that!" Recca said but Yanagi was already pulling him away from the table before he could start another row.

"I can't believe they had sex," Fuuko said as if she were in a daze as she watched the couple exit the library.

The Ensui wielder, who managed to stay focused on his book with all the brouhaha around him, clucked his tongue impatiently. "I don't know why it would come as a shocker for you. They've been together for two years. What did you think they've been doing this entire time? Joining scrabble tournaments?"

"No, no, no, you don't get it," she said, waving her finger in front of his face. "Yanagi had sex before me. I'm supposed to be the badass."

"I'm pretty sure you've established your badassness when you set your gym teacher's hair on fire last year," he deadpanned.

"That was an accident!"

A couple of shushes were sent their way but Fuuko just glared at them in return.

"Fuuko, why does this even bother you? So she's had sex before you. It doesn't mean anything," he said lowly.

"You realize this also means Recca's had sex before you."

Tokiya's eyes widened just a fraction before he schooled his face once more to its perennial detached expression.

"What makes you think I'm a virgin?" he said defensively.

Fuuko rolled her eyes. "You spend Friday nights with me and Domon watching re-runs of Friends."

"That's because you barge into my house uninvited. And make a mess all the time, might I add," he retorted.

"Yeah, well if you really had something better to do on a Friday night, you'd lock your doors," she said with a smirk.

"Pfft." Because he really didn't have anything more to say. Damn it, he hated it when the girl made perfect sense.

Fuuko tilted her head to the side and stared at him intently. Tokiya hated that look, it meant that she was thinking. And Fuuko thinking was always dangerous.

"We should have sex!"

A chorus of aggressive shushes from pissed off students were thrown in their direction and even Tokiya couldn't help but slink down his chair.

"Jesus Christ, Fuuko, do you just blurt out anything that comes to that head of yours?" he whispered agitatedly. Her mind to mouth reflexes must be on overdrive.

"Of course not, I've thought long and hard about this," she said nonchalantly.

"Long? Try five seconds," he returned.

She tapped her index finger to her temple and gave him a wink. "I'm a very quick thinker."

"Shut up." He focused on his book once more hoping she would get the hint that this conversation as finished.

"I'm serious though. I'm single, you're single. We're friends but not that good of friends that it would be weird with us after. It's perfect. We should just get it over with," she persisted. Taking hints was never her strong point.

"Why don't you ask that gorilla friend of yours? I'm sure he'd be all over your proposal," he said with a sneer.

"I'm not attracted to Domon."

"What makes you think I'm attracted to you?"

"I catch you staring at my breasts when you think I'm not looking."

He flushed. "Well maybe because they're always popping out!"

"A-ha! You totally fell for that," she exclaimed triumphantly. "Didn't think you had it in you, Mikagami."

Tokiya refused to acknowledge the fact that she had outsmarted him, so he just put both hands on each side of her head and twisted it to face the open textbook in front of her. "Go back to studying and stop pestering me."

"You're such a prude," she teased.

"It's not going to happen," he assured her.

"Fine, fine." She quirked her lips to hide the smirk that wanted to take over. Oh but it is.

…

"One way or another, I'm gonna win ya, I'm gonna getcha, getch, getcha," Fuuko sung softly under her breath as she patiently waited in her spot behind an alcove.

Tokiya meanwhile was walking down the hallway thinking about very serious matters like his college application, the economy, the greenhouse effect; because he didn't have a life, seriously.

Suddenly there was a dizzying swoosh of purple and a tight weight engulfed his torso and for a moment he was kind of glad for it because this was the most exciting thing to happen to him in three months. Before that it was Fuuko's birthday and she got drunk and started dancing on a tabletop like a stripper. Good times.

But then he found himself backed up against a wall inside a really cramped broom closet with nothing but a grinning Fuuko for company. Yeah, this wasn't good.

"How're you doing, Mi-chan?" she said glibly, that grin on her face never coming off.

"You just assaulted me out of nowhere and now I'm stuck inside a smelly broom closet. Not so good, all things considered," he drawled.

Then she did something that scared the crap out of him. She giggled. "You're so funny." Her hand came up to his arm and her fingers danced along his clothed skin.

"What're you doing, Fuuko?" This entire thing was suspect.

She pursed her lips and lifted one leg, settling her foot on an upturned bucket. The movement made her short skirt ride up, exposing more of her toned, creamy, delectable…FAT, fat thighs.

'Eyes up, Mikagami, eyes up,' he commanded himself.

"Well, I figured you must have been a little shy earlier considering there were so many other people there," she said in singsong before continuing, "but now, we're all alone."

Fuuko managed to sidle closer to him as graceful as a cheetah on a hunt for a meal. Her breasts pressed against his chest as her arms wound its way around his neck. He could feel her soft, warm breaths on the skin of his chin.

"Mi-chan," she whispered, mouth exhaling her words seductively. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

He could feel her lips ghosting against his sensitized ears. "No," he squeaked like a captured mouse.

She moved her head so he could see her face. Her eyelashes fluttered prettily as her lips curved into a sweet pout. "But you think I'm sexy, right?"

He could feel every curve of her body against his own, warm, young and inviting. "No," he cheeped.

She grinded her hips against him and smirked. "You're a terrible liar, you know."

Oh yeah, she could feel that.

Then he said something that might've been "That has nothing to do with you, I am just a very virile man," or "Blurgity-blurg-blurg" but it was difficult to tell because somewhere between his head and his neck his brain exploded once her lips touched his. It wasn't even a full on kiss, just a teasing touch and he found himself at a loss of all his senses. Shit, he really needed to get out more.

"What the hell are you kids doing?"

…

"I hate you."

"It isn't that bad, Mi-chan. You're such a drama queen."

Tokiya would've thrown the soppy rag at her if it wasn't so undignified. "This floor is absolutely ghastly. I can't believe people shower in here," he complained as he rubbed manically at the filthy grimes.

Fuuko rolled her eyes as she dipped the rag in the soapy bucket beside her and resumed scrubbing the tiled walls. "What do you expect? This is the boys' locker room. Boys are pigs, it's a scientific fact."

"I'm not pig," he retorted.

"That's because you're not a boy. You're a grumpy 80 year-old control freak," then she turned to him and gave him a saucy smile before she continued, "Stuck in an extremely hot and gorgeous eighteen year-old body."

He glared at her. "You're still not onto that harebrained proposal of yours, are you? This is your entire fault, you know," he chided.

"Hey, I had no idea that janitor was going to catch us," she cried defensively. "And the principal was totally overreacting when he gave us this detention."

Fuuko bent over to rinse the dirt off the wet rag. She dipped her hands in the soapy water and studiously washed the cloth. The movement didn't go unnoticed by Tokiya. She was only wearing a white shirt and her short gym shorts. From his spot on the floor he had a clear vision of her apple bottom peeking from behind the grey jersey cotton of her shorts.

Fuuko smirked inwardly when she felt steel grey eyes staring at her, if she may say so, glorious assets. She had never really paid much attention to what Tokiya thought of her as a woman. He'd always been a gentleman, albeit a bit rude and caustic at times. It had been a fluke when she got him to admit that he did in fact look. She was honestly expecting him to adamantly deny that he had ever admired any part of her body. But since then she'd started being more aware of his eyes and to her surprise discovered just how often they tended to stray. She already expected that he liked looking at her breasts, most boys do. She was a bit more shocked that he seemed to love watching her legs, his eyes turning in their direction when she would cross them or when she bent downwards to scratch an itch on her ankle. Of course there were moments when he paid special attention to her rump whenever her back was turned to him. But it seemed that his favorite part of her body was her lips. It may have helped that he was almost a foot taller than her thus she never really noticed before, but whenever they were talking or walking together or just sitting across each other, he seemed to be so focused on her lips that it made her mouth tingle.

She hated it and it went against everything that she believed in but the attention she was secretly (from his point of view anyway) getting from her handsome, sexy and intelligent teammate made her feel extremely satisfied. If one could orgasm from attention, his attention would do it. She didn't know exactly what she wanted out of this; a relationship? A boyfriend? Love? She hasn't exactly thought that far ahead. All she knew was ever since she innocuously at that time thought that they should have sex just to get over the virginity issue, she realized just how much she wanted him. And she just knew he wanted her too, he was just being a difficult little bitch.

"Are you alright there, monkey? You've been washing that rag for five minutes now. I'm pretty sure it's already clean," he drawled, cutting through her thoughts.

Fuuko rolled her eyes. He would really be the perfect man if he wasn't such a prissy little ass.

"Actually, I'm not. I'm getting a little dizzy," she turned to him and made a show of licking her lips. "It's so hot out today. I would do anything for a cold shower."

She flipped her purple hair that now extended past her shoulder, letting it flow down breasts. She was a bit glad that she grew it out (even if it was so difficult to maintain) because if there was anything Tokiya taught her, it was that hair was effing sexy. She crossed her arms and held onto the hem of her t-shirt and slowly, seductively pulling it over her head before letting it drop unceremoniously on the floor.

Tokiya sputtered ungracefully. His brain exploded, that happened a lot these days. "What the fuck are you doing, Fuuko?" he asked without much conviction.

Fuuko smiled impishly at him. "Cooling down," she answered offhandedly as if she hadn't just taken off her shirt in front of him. She walked up to him, her gorgeous stems mesmerizing him. Her hand reached behind her and he realized too late that she was unclasping the plain white bra that encased her generous breasts. She teasingly pulled down the straps from her shoulders, making sure the cups of her bra shielded her full breasts from his gaze. Before he could really get a good look she dropped her brassiere on his head and let it cover his eyes.

When Tokiya finally managed to get the dastardly thing out of his face Fuuko was already under the soft drizzle of the shower…completely naked.

If his enemies had been a little smarter they would've realized that all they needed to do was strip Fuuko in front of him and they could've come up to him and chop his head off with a blunt axe and he wouldn't even have noticed.

There she was, water running down her baby soft, porcelain skin. The fluorescent light could not deter the absolute perfection of her wondrous curves. From her delicate ankles, to those long, creamy legs, up her flaring hips, her tight stomach, those little pink nipples that just begged biting, the curve of her shoulders, the swift length of her neck, that naughty pink mouth and those sharp and piercing brown eyes, she was just…

"Fucking gorgeous," he uttered breathlessly.

"Thank you."

Oh, she knew she had him.

Fuuko threw her head back and let the cool water hit her face but it did nothing for the blazing fire coursing through her blood. She had meant to seduce him but she had no idea just how turned on she would get as she basically gave him a free show.

"You can join me, if you want," she teased, hoping he wouldn't detect the hitch in her breath. Although he seemed completely unaware of anything else as he seemed to have turned into stone, he even somehow lost the ability to blink.

But her invitation somehow managed to jolt him from the trance she weaved around him. He moved as if he had no control of his muscles as he stood up from his spot and walked slowly but decidedly towards her.

Even as his shirt got wet and the weight of the water seeping inside the fabric of his jeans made it ride low, Tokiya didn't stop moving until he was practically glued to Fuuko. His hands rose and settled comfortably on the curve of her back. He had always prided himself with his self-control but he did have his limits. He was only a man, a man who apparently had weak defenses when it came to the alluring seductress known as Fuuko Kirisawa.

"This is not a nice game you're playing, Fuuko," he whispered, almost as if it was a warning.

"Games are for children. I'm after the real thing," she said steadily as her arms climbed around his neck, pushing herself closer to him, her soft body melting into the hard planes of his chest.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked.

But as he watched her plump lips part ever so slightly as if she was savoring the breath she took, he could no longer wait for even of a fraction of a second for her answer. His lips took hold of her open mouth and he partook of her exquisite taste. She was so delicious that he somehow completely forgot that her naked, pliant body was in his arms. His mind was consumed with her sweet and spicy flavor. His tongue snaked inside her mouth, chasing after her taste. Her playful tongue flicked against his and their lips pushed against each other. His eyes rolled to the back of his head from the sheer pleasure of her hard kisses. He forgot about the continuous dripping of the shower and the sharp sting of chlorine. Nothing else mattered. This was heaven.

"OH MY GOD MIKAGAMI AND KIRISAWA ARE HAVING SEX IN THE BOY'S SHOWER ROOM!"

…

"I hate you."

"It isn't so bad, Mi-chan. At least they didn't call my Mom."

Tokiya shuddered as he thought of Mrs. Kirisawa's reaction should she hear about this. He kept picturing chainsaws all directed at, ahem, not-so-little Tokiya (Fuuko would've been a very lucky woman, if he might say so himself). He crossed his legs instinctively.

Their disturbingly jolly septuagenarian school nurse returned to the room carrying a banana and a square packet. "Now, Mr. Mikagami I want you to practice putting this condom on this banana. We will not stop until you have it perfect."

Fuuko snorted.

"When we get out of here, I will murder you," he muttered at Fuuko under his breath.

And then visions of him "stabbing" her while she was splayed on the gym bleachers entered his mind.

Oh brother, this was going to be a long day.

To be continued...

End Author's Notes: It was getting rather long-ish so I decided to cut it into two parts. I'm still not sure if I will finish this first before getting back to ESILY. Dedicated to the tofuu-whores.

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!