This was fun to write, but it got a little uncomfortable at the end. I think I know how Garrus feels now.

Nothing major here folks, just another little parody to tide you over until the next chapter of Cryonics. BY THE WAY, I've done a picture of what 23 looks like (It's just a starter. Nothing perfect or groundbreaking) that you should go check out on DA. (I think you guys know what that stands for) If you want to see it, check under my profile TheEezoman. As always, please. Leave a review. Seriously. I thrive on what you guys think.

"And ANOTHER reason you're a Gary Stu is because you have brown eyes. I mean, REALLY. Who has brown eyes in this universe? Hmmmm? That's what I thought. God, I don't understand how you can possibly just walk around like that. You are such a disgrace!"

23 raised an eyebrow at the teen in front of him. It was obvious that she was bothered by him. He couldn't understand why though.

"Uh, lady? Is something wrong?"

His eyes narrowed.

"Do I know you?"

The girl in front of him tossed back her hair, giving a small hmph and pointing her noise into the air, creating a sense of arrogance felt by everyone in the nearby vicinity.

"You SHOULD. I'm just the most well known science fiction author on the Citadel. Katie-Lynn Decroux! I'm FAMOUS!"

23 coughed hard, attempting to hold back the small laugh in his throat.

"Right…Well if you'll excuse me, I've got to go help my friend co-"

"LEAVE MIRANDA ALONE! JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!"

23 whipped around, fixing his eyes on the new distraction. It came in the form of a disheveled looking pre-teen. His eyes were red, and it was apparent that he had been crying.

"Uh…I'm sorry?"

"SHE WORKS SO HARD FOR ALL OF YOU, AND YOU JUST TEAR HER DOWN. LEAVE MIRANDA ALOOOOOONE!"

The assassin couldn't even begin to think of a response. All he could do was stand there as the two teenagers berated him over his life.

"You are vapid! ABSOLUTELY VAPID! I swear, you should go die in a hole! YOU DO NOTHING AS PRODUCTIVE AS I DO!"

"WHYYY! JUST LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S AMAZING AND YOU ARE MEAN TO HER!"

All 23 could do was stand there, eyes wide with shock. A glimpse of movement caught his attention. Turning, he saw a black-haired male carrying what appeared to be a female Quarian over his shoulder. 23 caught his attention, hoping for assistance.

"Hey. HEY!"

The guy turned, waving as if he recognized him.

"Hello 23. You need something?"

The ice-coated soldier pointed at the red-faced people beside him, who had failed to notice his lack of attention.

"What the hell is this?"

The man merely shrugged.

"They don't like your story. My advice, just deal with them as you would normally."

The whistling sound of a blade cut off any further protests the teenagers could utter, leaving them dead on the ground.

"Damn. Wait a minute…Where are YOUR haters?"

The black-haired man shrugged once more.

"I don't think enough people have read my story to care. Bye."

23 waved goodbye to his fellow OC, turning his attention back to his mission. Walking down the street further, he noticed a large sign painted in red.

"I think this might point me in the right direction."

Checking his watch (Obviously made out of ice) the time read 2:28.

"I don't have much time."

He walked past the GARRUS VAKARIAN RAPE PLANNED AT 2:30 ALL FEMALE FANS WELCOME sign and made his way into the den.

"Shepard, if you can hear me, you better hurry."

The corridor shifted, and turned down a dark stairwell.

Tali and Shepard walked into another nexus, with doors leading into various rooms. At this point, the commander dropped to his knees, cursing the sky.

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY LOCKED DOORS AND NOTHING BEHIND THEM!"

Tali turned, leaning next to him.

"Shepard, it's alright. We'll find Garrus."

He lowered his head to the ground, muttering something barely audible.

"Why….Why would the game developers replace omni-gel with minigames. I WANT MY OMNI-GEL!"

After some coercing on Tali's part, and the promise of sexy time after the mission, they continued on their mission.

"I'm just wondering, Tali. If you had to sleep with any other female on the Normandy, which one would it be?"

"Shepard, I'm not into that! Or at least, not anymore."

Tali walked past the stunned N7, who had apparently just sprung a large nosebleed.

Carefully avoiding a large group of patrolling females, They made their way into the secret dungeon.

"DO IT!"

"By the Gods, NO."

Duncan charged the shotgun, pointing it into Thane's back. The Drell glared forward, locking eyes with the trapped man. It was obvious that Garrus was terrified, and the large crowd of girls surrounding the platform they stood on only increased his terror.

"Either you do it, or the pilot dies."

The specialists turned, and their eyes fell on Joker, who was being tied to a wooden platform suspended over a large bucket of lava. An assistant removed his gag, and he yelled out his displeasure at this course of action.

"I thought you girls wanted me! I'm not some tool to use for bargaining!"

The assistant next to him muttered into his ear.

"You help us with this, and I'll use your tool for some "bargaining". "

Joker grinned widely.

"DO IT THANE!"

The assassin brought his hand to his face, embarrassed by his friend.

"Regardless of what Joker says, I'm not partaking in this. I am in a relationship!"

"I'm here too Thane!"

Thane turned, finding Kelly in the large audience.

"I can't believe you, Siha!"

"Just shut up and say the line!"

Giving up, Thane swallowed his pride, turning to Garrus who was obviously still in panic mode.

"Er…Vakarian…I've got a package for you. It's in this box."

Thane held the small circular box into the air, emphasizing the point. He knew where this was going, and he'd rather go through each assassination contract AGAIN to avoid this.

The phrase was completely monotone, yet the girls giggling sounded like a chorus.

"Now you, Gar-gar. Say your part."

Garrus's gag was released, and he screamed at the lead girl.

"THAT PET NAME IS DISGUSTING AND YOU CAN GO TO HELL!"

Duncan giggled, and repeated her desire. Somewhere in the back of Garrus's mind, he was desperately trying to figure out a plan before things got any worse.

-Shepard…HELP ME!"