Battle Fanon III: The Epic Fantasy Prequel

A/N: Well, all good fiction has at least one prequel. Some have twelve! Twelve's a good number. Now on with the story!

"On with the battle! The battle for fanon to be like canon!" That was our cry. it was a good life. We ran around, chuckling to ourselves. Little did we know it would soon be the truth.

The first time we were called it was this boy called... Eragon? We all thought he would be a dragon. I mean, it's only one letter away!

Here is the story:

Hi like Lol. I'm Eragon and I'm like lol. Wait, what the-

Be quiet. We're the Battle Fanon. You're Muse is under arrest.

Arrest? Why?

For ruining canon.

Canon was bad enough already.

Shut up. Now if you were a Twiliter we wouldn't care. Godarn glittery vampires.

Glittery vampires? Twilite has lol everything?

For a Mary Sue Muse, yes.

I'mma goin to be a Twiliter!

Fine. Go.

But she didn't. She lied to us. She fled to the sanctury of the Harry Potter fandom. Her next creation was-

What? Vampire, Enoby, B'loody Mary Smith...

Some kind of evil ritual. Thankfully, by then we had the Flames. Flames are fiery little creatures that set fire to your fanfic. It dosen't matter if they're perfect... Whaddya mean they'll not flame you if you're perfect? Whatever. So anyways... Then she started to cook with them... or something. Here's what we said to her.

and i lik luv hot topic

Wait. You're grammar's gotted worser. Wait your infecting me. Gas mask! Ah, that's better. Anyway, this is your second offense.

just waited. y do u no giv me 1 of dose. dey r hot topic rnt dey?

No. Definitely not Hot Topic. They're Cold... um Offtopic. Anyway, this is your second offense.

im arest myself?

Basically, I don't know what you said there.

im arest i myself?

When was your last texting spree?

wayt a momnt... a secnd ago

That make sense. Anyway, you're under arrest.

im arest mystelf?

Aah! I'm calling in the specialists.

im arest mystelf?

im ares mysfelg

ihmaresmysfjlgf

And I left her there crooning:

imvdgarsrmgvfsa

Okay, I could read her at the start but now I can't. Let's examine this calmly

im-vd-ga-rs-rm-gv-fs-a

She tried to say I'm or instant messaging. Now I'm just going to an abbrieviation finder. Instant-messaging, video, Lady/Radio Gaga, Restroom, Giant Vacuum, flying snake, adder. What does that mean kiddies? No, I don't know either.

Kay, bye!