A/N: Hey, it's me Kenchi (for those of you who know me...) I'm not that well known in the Game kingdom because I'm mostly in the Anime kingdom but I digress.

Not only is this my first ever remotely sexual fic (Not ready for lemons yet...) but it's also my first Blazblue fic too ^o^, I'm well chuffed!

But the main reason I'm doing this is to relieve some of my writing block on my Naruto story (Chapter Stories ruin my creativity), so yes... this IS a oneshot.

Pay no attention to the fact that I write like crap on the author notes, I'm actually an alright writer :P, with all that said and done, it's time for WARNING AND DISCLAIMER TIME!

Disclaimer: Blazblue is not in my possession in every sense of the word (Never played Blazblue people... is it good?), it belongs to Ark System Works...

WARNING!

The following story contains sexual content and slightly disturbing imagery (The Genre should be Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Humor and Romance, but I'm limited to two choices...), it also contains the pairing of RachelxRagna which implies a rather large age gap between the two parties (Even if it's one-sided...), if any of the following things affect please look away now. Also if you are under the regional age to be involved with forms of entertainment of an adult nature please look away now, (Although I'm pretty sure you're gonna look anyway, but there's no lemon so bleh :P).

Enjoy!

He caresses her cheek and she gazes deeply into his heterochromatic eyes, slowly but surely their lips touch and all felt right in their bizarre world. After what felt like an eternity they pull away from each other, under the gaze of the full moon and her white haired Adonis finally smiles genuinely as he spoke the words she wanted to hear for a very long time. His voice was no louder than a whisper, yet it resonated in her ears and sang to her heart louder than the chorus of the finest orchestra, "I love you...".

"W... u... L..dy... ...chel...", the voice of the man she loved dearly changed, it sounded more squeaky and obnoxious yet strangely familiar. She wore a look of confusion and decided to inquire as to why her beloveds voice sounded so different, "What's wrong darling, your voice sounds ever so peculiar? Might I be so bold as to ask if you have a sore throat?", the man placed his hands on both of her shoulders and replied, still in the squeaky voice, "Lady Rachel, you must wake up!". To which she did, in her luxurious duvet covers, staring into the light of the new morning.

Suddenly a pink bat-like creature entered her line of vision and joyfully exclaimed, "Lady Rachel is awake! We must rejoice!", the voice of another creature (who was more feline-like in his appearance, yet resembling an umbrella) added, "Indeed, for it is a splendiferous occasion, though numerous in it's instances it is an act that we must treasure, because it is seen as a glorious event in time!", in an undertone it added, "For some..." which led to a pillow being thrown into it's face by none other than Rachel herself.

"Now is the worst possible time for your infidelity, you simpleton. I was having a most exquisite dream until you felt it was best to intervene and bore me with your theatrics..." Rachel dictated, rather elegantly but equally as harshly. The bat-like thing gasped at those words and his feline companion simply pouted, "Nago, Gii... I wish for you to leave my presence, for you have guided me into a rather unpleasant mood. The bat-like thing, now christened Gii, honoured his master's wishes and carried himself, and Nago, out of the room.

Rachel, noticing that she was finally alone, laid her head down into her pillow and screamed her throat raw into the aforementioned pillow. 'This is the third time this week that I have encountered a dream of that nature, how odd... perhaps I am developing a pre-pubescent attraction to him,due to my body's hormones finally developing, that and he is one of the few... attractive men I've met, worthy of my attention...', noting that there was a slight dampness in her undergarments, she decided to try and cease those thoughts about her beloved for now, putting her inner dilemma to rest she dictated a simple sigh and stating, "Maybe... I need a bath...".

She gasped and quickly covered a hand over her mouth, 'Did I really say that out loud without regards to who could of who heard me, or even without the aid of the eloquent usage of polysyllabic terminology, how callous of me!', she readily dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her, but quickly slapped her forehead, 'Again, another uncouth mistake due to fleeting emotions! Now I'm causing an unnecessary disturbance to the other residents of this castle, not to mention that it is completely unbecoming of someone of my calibre...'.

She looked around hurriedly, not in a very calm or collected way at all, after making sure no one heard or saw her near-emotional breakdown, she returned to her more refined visage, 'What's happening to me... if I didn't know any better I would say that I might be contracting a disease that requires for me to adopt a persona that was not of my origin, to which I probably would speculate that I caught it from that Vermillion girl...'

Calming herself down while being aided by rather silly hand gestures, Rachel slowly descended into the warm, heavenly, recedes of her effervescently orientated bath. She let soothing effects of the lavender soak into her rather petite but tense muscles, and relieve the shooting pain, "Ah..." she sighed, sinking further into her pool of bliss, which is what she felt like, especially with... 'No! I must not think about him that way, why should I even fantasise about such a festering mongrel of a mortal like him anyway!'.

Rachel suddenly gasped aloud as she felt a ghost of a touch near her lower regions, her flower twitched and started to wilt as the sensation ebbed away. Taking due care to not to attract any unwanted attention to herself, she calmly assessed the situation, 'Ah, my word... what is this... strange feeling...'. Not wanting to take her chances, Rachel avoided taking another trip to her garden to experiment with the queen of her roses.

"Perhaps, I should get dressed..." Rachel said to herself, as she prepared to leave, but then her thoughts drifted to him, 'I hate what he's doing to me! I hate his arrogant little smirk when he thinks he's winning, I hate his never-say-die attitude, I hate the fact that he infuriatingly interests me each time without fail, I hate the fact that he'd choose to dine with those cheap whores! And I...' she briefly put a halt to her inner turmoil, because she realised that she was playing with her petals, much more vigorously than her previous encounter with her greenhouse of goodies.

Rachel suddenly gasped at the feeling of her forest being on fire, her mind wanted to evacuate or at least douse the feeling but her body wanted to accept being spontaneously combusted and be glad for the third degree burns left behind. 'And I...', she felt her throat going hoarse from the raw screams of passion that erupted from her petite frame, Rachel was repeating her actions for the past ten or fifteen minutes and was well aware that her skin was pruning, but she didn't care.

The only thing that kept her going were the thoughts of her beloved, and the fact that she didn't know the best way to finish her sentence, eventually she found the stem of her rose, and twirled her fingers artistically around its bud. She solemnly whimpers in pleasure sounding reminiscent of the fabled grass-whistle in the plains that preceded the hierarchical cities. The major difference between them is the story they tell.

Disappointed with the lack of answer and uninterested with her steadily wilting routine, she decided to pause her exercise and retire from the bathroom before any further suspicions arise. Now outfitted in her daily wear, which consists of a black lolita dress with red cufflings and her Nago-brella, she greets her humble servant, known as Valkenhayn, for the first time in the morning.

"Good day Valkenhayn, I have the utmost faith that you have slept rather well after your late night endeavours...", her usual greeting, flawlessly annunciated with impeccable delivery. "Indeed madam..." was his rather pristine reply, "Surely, it was an honour to serve the Alucard family once again, doing the dishes is a rather vexing task for some but I would gladly complete such a task in your stead...". Rachel let a ghost of a smile grace her features before gracefully entreating to her favourite tea table, and letting a more familiar frown return to her face with gusto, "Very good, I hope it should be clearly obvious that I need not remind you of my previous engagements this afternoon...".

Valkenhayn, currently turned away from his mistress, let his own ghostly smile appear on his wizened face before settling back to normal and facing her to answer, "Indeed madam, I have memorised such an important event with the much needed urgency required to do so...".

Now let it be known that Rachel isn't a very stoic person in reality, she has to put up the front as is required of an aristocratic noble such as herself, what a more emotionally outgoing person would say as, "OH MY GAWD, THANKIES FOR TEH REMEMBRANCE DERP!", Rachel would translate as such, "Thank you for your diligence Valkenhayn, I suppose there is no need for me to elaborate on why I cannot attend my afternoon tea session, so... to make up for such a loss, I suggest that we should have some tea... If you would, Valkenhayn?".

True Ending

Ragna the Bloodedge, formidable SS-rank criminal, wanted in all of the Thirteen Hierarchical Cities by the NOL, and many vigilantes, and sole retainer of the Azure Grimoire, here he stands face to face with another powerful fighter a lot like himself, Rachel Alucard, leader of the Alucard family, wealthy aristocrat and a connoisseur for black tea.

"Alright Rabbit, you're going down!", was the fearsome warrior's, heroic bark of pride, though she seems rather unfathomed on the outside, her beloveds warcry resonates inside her soul and the awe-inspiring sounds of rebels fighting against their queen's regime immediately rings bells for Rachel, 'How... beautiful... That was truly the sound of rebellion, summarized within five words...'.

Letting a smirk etch onto her face, she mused on her thoughts a bit more, 'I guess I was right to pick you... After all I hate how you are one of the few things in this infernal time loop that interests me, and I...'.

Ragna's blade zooms in closer as he shouts, "Damn it Rabbit! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!", Rachel's smirk widens and blossoms into a beautiful smile that completely disarms Ragna in shock, which was not the only thing that shocked him, "Baden Baden Lily!".

(A little while later...)

"Ugh..." was the only intelligible sound from Ragna's frothing mouth as he was left, electrocuted, on the floor of Rachel's compound, Rachel silently billowed over to Ragna and checked his pulse. Satisfied with the fact that he's not dead, she turned away from him and muttered to herself, "Perhaps if he was strong enough to defeat me, maybe he could win my heart...".

With that she walks away from her beloved prince charming, and back through the forest of thorns, to her castle of anguish where she lies in her eternal wait for prince charming to rescue her from her inner demons, with one thought forever drifting in her mind with its bitter-sweet aroma, 'And I... hate how much I love him...'.

From his place on the ground, Ragna had his own thought stirring in his mind.

'What did she mean by, "win her heart"?'.

Bad Ending

Letting a smirk etch onto her face, she mused on her thoughts a bit more, 'I guess I was right to pick you... After all I hate how you are one of the few things in this infernal time loop that interests me, and...'.

"Hey Rabbit! Pay attention damn it!", Ragna bellowed as his sword stopped within an inch of Rachel's face before she shouted, "I love you!". Just like that the whole shape of reality shifted, metaphorically of course. Ragna's sword dropped from his hand and he stopped where he was, literally shocked from the revelation that just happened.

Rachel saw that Ragna was in disarray, and decided to quickly rectify the situation before it could deteriorate any further due to her carelessness, "Ragna I-", ""There's no need..." came the much more coldly-toned reply from Ragna, "Rachel... you know as well as I do that it wouldn't work out, so there's no point of trying to follow through on falsities and trying to elude ourselves into thinking that it can work out differently...".

Rachel was rather taken aback by Ragna's reply for two reasons, one he could actually form a decent argument without the need for vulgar phrases and melodramatic gestures, two he was implying that, "We can never... be?" she concluded glumly, her face reflecting her sadness, with a genuine frown stressing on her facial features and tears threatening to spill with every heartbeat.

Ragna could only nod solemnly as he turned to walk away, what he didn't bank on was a set of fangs piercing into his neck and blood profusely squirting out of it, "Ah!" he grunted in agony as he fell to the floor with a thud and could only yelp helplessly as he looked into the glowing red eyes of his would-be murderer as she said, "You dare strip me of my prize, you lowly amoeba!".

She hoisted him into the air by his neck and started crushing his windpipe slowly before saying, "I think I should rightfully take what's mine, isn't that right, Ragna-kun?", she mercilessly drained every bit of blood from his body, and dropped him to the ground unceremoniously, when Rachel finally regained her senses she saw the broken, abused and mutilated corpse of Ragna, she then saw the blood on her hands and even tasted some on her lips.

Rachel, knowing what she had done, dashed over to corpse and grasped it tightly wailing, "Ragna!", to the skies but no one would answer. Vainly willing him to live and letting her tears fall freely like waterfalls, she wilts. She cradles the corpse of her beloved and soothingly says, "Don't worry dear, everything's fine now that I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you again...". She smiles and her love blossoms again, she sings sweetly to her beloveds broken bones, as if it would heal them. As melodic as it sounds, each note she sings is a harmony of dissonance as this white requiem of two lovers, fades to black.

Joke Ending

"Alright Rabbit, you're going down!", was the fearsome warrior's, heroic bark of pride, though she seems rather unfathomed on the outside, her beloveds warcry resonates inside her soul and the awe-inspiring sounds of rebels fighting against their queen's regime immediately rings bells for Rachel, 'How... beautiful... That was truly the sound of rebellion, summarized within five words...'.

However, due to her lack of attention and Ragna's clumsiness, they both collide with each other and fall into a rather compromising position. Ragna, being rather shy and heated in colour, was the first to notice the situation they were in, "Ah, Rabbit! It's not what it looks like!".

Rachel was already in a bad way before she came here (read the story genius, I wasn't just talking about gardening...), decided to take advantage of this opportunity and try her hand at innuendo, "Mm-mm, watch were you point that INFERNO DIVIDER bad boy... you might just burn my BADEN BADEN LILY...", she was a natural.

Ragna was, for lack of a better word, confused, "Wait, what? Listen Rabbit, in case you haven't heard I don't swing that way...", Rachel looked disappointed and further emphasized that with a pouty face and the following statement, "So that means, you'd rather have a DEATH SPIKE than a CARNAGE SCISSORS, what a shame... I had my GAUNTLET HADES ready too, I could even share with someone else and we could all have a BLACK ONSLAUGHT...", Ragna was absolutely shell-shocked, "I don't care how old you are! You are too young-looking to be saying stuff like that!", Rachel merely giggled and replied, "You're right Ragna-kun, I've been young for so long... would you care to make a woman out of me? Perhaps, you could swing my way, just this once?".

"Hey! What the hell! Why wasn't that censored!" was Ragna's query to somewhere in the universe, to which the author shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Sorry dude, ran out of move names for you two... That's what happens when you get an author who hasn't even played Blazblue to write a story about you...", Ragna mumbled something under his breath before it clicked, "Hey, Wait a minute! I'm not gay!".

Rachel put a finger to her chin and tilted her head cutely before replying, "But you just said you were...", "No I did not!", Rachel simply puffed out her chest indignantly and replied, "You said you didn't swing that way!". Ragna was about to argue against that, but then face-palmed and realised that it was just another misunderstanding, "When I said that, I meant that I don't go for little girls...".

Sighing Rachel replied, "Allow me to put you at ease...", she then transformed into a more mature and full bodied version of herself, which led to the simultaneous nosebleeds of many people in Kagutsuchi, "Better?". Ragna simply turned away from Rachel, hiding away his own furious nosebleed, "Yeah... but why do you want me?".

Rachel produced a tissue from the cleavage formed in her new dress, which in turn produced an outraged cry of indignation from several busty animé characters which sounded vaguely like "Copyright Infringement!", and wiped away the blood from his nostril kindly before saying, "Two reasons, you interest me and your INFERNO DIVIDER is rumoured to rival the GIGANTIC TAGER...".

Rachel then grabbed Ragna by the scruff of his neck and boldly declared, "Let's go to my castle and make babies, okay?", Ragna decided to slide a little jab in before he was raped to death by an overtly horny vampire, "What? No big words?", Rachel sighed again and replied, "The word 'Reproduce' is only going to turn you off so why would you want me to say it?".

Ragna chose to keep silent until he decided to ask about something that the author knew might be a plot hole, so he decided to let Ragna act as a medium to clarify (Heh, no one will suspect a thing...), "Hey Rabbit, how comes your such an expert with sex and your hormones only started acting up recently?", Rachel smirked and replied, "They call me an observer for a reason...".