Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own Final Fantasy! Oh, I know you weren't expecting that one.

A/N: You know you play too much Final Fantasy when the three Rs are Reno, Rude, and Rufus.

By the way, this happened to me today. Spoiled paint smells disgusting, and no, I do not know if you can paint a wall with acrylic paint. But it smells gross. Oh yeah, and cookies to whoever can guess where the title comes from!

P.S. I have a fascination with Reno's hands. Don't judge me!

Spoiled Poison

"Why do I have to repaint the wall?" Reno whined, swinging his bottle of paint back and forth in one hand and twirling a paintbrush around in the other one.

"Because you're the one who broke it," Elena pointed out, "while you and Zack were bowling using the infantry men as bowling pins and the mechas as the balls."

Reno sighed and uncapped the paint bottle then poured a quantity of it into a tray. "That's funny…" he said. The paint, which was supposed to be blue, was a yellowish-clear shade with blue chunks floating in it. "Laney-bear, I think there's something up with this paint."

Elena snarled, that nickname was worse than usual. She wondered why she didn't have a weapon on her at the moment. She was about to shove Reno's head in the paint for calling her that, when she realized there was a disgusting smell coming from the general direction of the paint bottle.

"Ugh, Reno, what's that smell?" she asked, covering her mouth and nose with her hand.

"Hey, babe, it's not me; I showered today, "Reno said.

"I think it's the paint," Elena said.

Reno, like the idiot he was, picked up the bottle of paint and sniffed it. He gagged and almost vomited, dropping the paint on the floor and screwing the cap back on. Unfortunately, there was already a large puddle of it in the tray, and the smell was getting worse. Reno was beginning to feel even more nauseated. And a bit glad that he forgot to eat breakfast that morning.

"Ugh… let's get out of here, I think the paint's spoiled or something!" Reno groaned, and both Turks ran to the other side of the Shinra Building. When they could finally breathe again, Reno flopped into a chair and sighed. "How does paint spoil, anyway?" he asked, running his fingers through his crimson hair.

Elena didn't reply for a moment, preoccupied with watching Reno's hands running through his hair. She wondered why his veins stood out so much; that made it look like there was red and violet lace draped over the back of his hands. "I don't really know," she eventually said.

"Whoa!" Reno shouted, leaping up. "Stop the presses! Hold the phone! LANEY doesn't know something! It's monumental!"

"Are you calling me a know-it-all?" Elena asked, whilst Reno continued to babble.

Reno paused and grinned. "Yeah."

O.O

Tseng walked down the hallway, holding a hand over his nose. "What happened in here?" he asked. Then, he noticed the paint which didn't really look like the paint, but was the source of the vile stench. "Oh, Reno… only you could mess this up," he groaned.

Tseng staggered away and decided to get Zack to clean it up. He was the one who caused half the problem, anyway.