Until We Bleed
"I see signs now all the time
that you're not dead, you're sleeping
I believe in anything
that brings you back home to me."
The night sky falls over Soul Society, a quiet darkness descending upon the rooms and corridors of the tenth squad's barracks. It's been silent the passed few weeks, especially in the evenings. The moon shines brightly, the only source of light filling the halls as the tenth squad captain paces around. Hitsugaya walks by his lieutenant's room, stopping for a moment to hear subtle crying coming from the other side of the wooden door. His heart sinks as he closes his eyes, unsure of what he should do. He places his hand on the wooden frame, thinking about pushing it open and sitting with her while she grieves.
Hitsugaya frowns, knowing better than anyone that best solution is to just let her be. He wishes there was some way he could take the pain away from her., lift it off of her shoulders and see her smiling face again. He watches as she puts on a happy air in the afternoon, doing her paperwork and walking around Seireitei with a forced smile on her face. She makes her rounds and greets everyone with a smile and a laugh, trying to make them believe she's doing okay. But every evening, as she says goodnight to him and prances away, he knows that she won't be sleeping. That, as the rest of Soul Society sleeps, she will be awake and sobbing until there is nothing left inside of her.
He wishes there was more he could do. The young captain runs his hands through his white hair in sheer frustration, staring down at his feet. It's getting late, and his body yearns to fall asleep. He's been training all day, trying to grow stronger in order to protect the ones he cares about. He has to. He can't let what happened before ever happen again.
All of Soul Society has spent the passed few weeks rebuilding. Strengthening their bodies from the bloody violence of war, training and trying to grow stronger. Everyone has grown a little closer due to recent events, their bonds tightening. Smiles and laughter has begun to fill the air again, slowly yet surely. Everyone seems to be recovering, except for one individual.
Hitsugaya regretfully walks away from her door, slowly finding his way back to his room.
As Rangiku arrives in her room, the sun sinking down soon to be replaced by the moon, she closes the door behind her. She takes a deep shaky breath, playing with the metal chain of her necklace. A chilled breeze makes its way into her room from her window, caressing her face and widening her eyes. Instantly they fill up with tears, and she slides down her doorframe. She holds onto herself as the grief fills her senses, hanging her head down and covering her stricken face with her shaking hands. She sobs, her knees drawing in close to her body. She rocks back and forth as the moon glimmers in her strawberry blonde hair, the only source of comfort she has left.
She sees his smile appear in her mind, engulfing her and haunting her at the same time. She longs to touch him one last time, to show him just how much he has always meant to her. She forces herself to go through the horrible pain of losing him every night, crying until she falls asleep. This has become routine for her, the pain she feels in his absence overwhelming. She doesn't remember what it feels like to sleep peacefully anymore.
She wonders where he is right now, if he truly is gone. A glimmer of hope always shines inside of her heart, in a sense making her pain even worse when she wakes up in the morning alone. She watched as he faded away in her arms, there was no way he could be alive.
And yet…
She couldn't let go of the thought. What if he was out there? It kept her holding on, waiting and longing to see those electric blue eyes again. They had the power to leave her completely breathless, and she craved them so desperately.
Rangiku wraps her arms around herself as she cries into her knees, trying to soften her sobs as she suddenly feels Hitsugaya's reiatsu near her room. She doesn't want to burden him with her display of emotions. The captain has enough on his plate, training nonstop to strengthen his Bankai.
As she felt his reiatsu leave the general vicinity of her room, she stood up and walked over to her window. 'I don't remember leaving this open,' she thinks to herself as she stares up at the moon. She wipes the tears from her cheeks as she looks at the glowing white orb in the sky, her nerves calming down just a bit. She breathes the cold air in, her arms wrapped around her. She can't help but feel like something is out of place.
She slowly pushes the window open further, jumping out of it and walking barefoot into the plush green grass. She finds herself walking closer to the moon, her guiding light, finding solace in the calm of the darkening sky.
She lies down onto the grass, gripping at the green blades that surround her. She closes her eyes, feeling frozen in place. It's cold out and she's shivering, but she doesn't care anymore. A strange presence seems to surround her being, but she doesn't allow herself to hope for anything. She can't.
She finally finds the strength to let go of her dreams that he is alive. She cries even harder, heavy heartbreaking sobs wracking her slender form. She has to let go, she knows she does. Maybe then she could finally sleep at night, accepting that he's gone.
"Why did you do this, Gin," she whispers into the vast sky, covering her face as her makeup smears under her eyes and cheeks. "Why did you leave me here alone? Why didn't you take me with you?"
"Because I love you, Rangiku." She hears a silent whisper come from her right hand side. She scoffs at the voice, knowing that it is her imagination running away with her again. 'He's not there, he never was. He hasn't been around since you let him die in your arms, Ran' she angrily tells herself. She holds onto herself even tighter as more tears come to the surface.
"Go away, I can't listen to your lies anymore," she yells, her voice muffled as she rolls over and buries her face in the soft grass. "You're not real…"
"Rangiku..." The voice whispers again, a sense of pain hidden in its voice. This time, she feels a slender hand touch her shoulder. She shivers at the contact, and forces herself to remember how many times she has pretended that he was really there. She knows better. She repeats her words out loud, the sound echoing through the vast black sky.
Suddenly, a figure lies down next to her. She refuses to look over at it, instead burying her face in her hands. "No, no no… This isn't fair!" she pleads. "Why am I doing this to myself?"
"Rangiku, look at me," the voice begs. She feels hands on top of her own clammy ones, gently pulling them away from her grief-stricken face. She resists, fighting herself off. "You're not real…" she harshly whispers. "I can't keep lying to myself like this!"
Gin grimaces as he watches the love of his life engulfed in such pain. His eyes are open wide, his heart breaking in his chest. He has finally found his way back to her, after weeks of recovering alone. He found the strength to make his way back, though he doesn't recall how he managed to get away in the first place. The passed few weeks have been a hazy blur, in and out of consciousness as his body somehow healed itself. Or, rather, someone secretly healed him.
He frowns as he looks at her, searching for the answers somehow. He doesn't know how to make her believe he's really there, lying right next to her. "Rangiku… please. Jus' look at me. I'm real…" he whispers into her ear, inching closer and wrapping his arms around her. He doesn't know what to do. "And I'm never gonna leave ya again…" he adds as he presses his lips to the side of her face.
Rangiku finally gives in, finding comfort in the fake arms wrapped around her shaking body. She didn't realize how cold she really was until strong arms seemed to engulf her. She opens her eyes, scared of what she will see. Gin's blue eyes stare back at her, a soft smile on his face. She's suddenly frozen in place, unsure if what she's experiencing is real or not.
"You can't be real," she says as she buries her face into his chest. Her eyes widen as she feels a heartbeat against her cheek, her skin turning white and fear filling her body. Suddenly, hope glimmers in her heart again. She looks up at him with the widest eyes he's ever seen on her beautiful face, and he places his hands on her cheeks. He leans in, kissing her with a passion she's never felt before. Hundreds of years have led up to this moment, and she can't help but feel overwhelmed as his warm lips brush against hers.
She gives in, kissing him back with everything she's got left. His soft lips linger on hers, gently brushing against her own. "I'll prove to ya that I'm real, Ran," he says in between slow loving kisses, pulling her close to him. He tastes the salty tears that run from her eyes as they mingle in with their lips, and it makes his kisses become much more passionate and needy.
His tongue gently begins to trace her lower lip, begging for access into her mouth. She parts her lips wider, granting his tongue entrance as it begins to dance with hers. He kisses her roughly, unable to hold back any longer. His hands find their way to her sides, working to lift her up off the ground. It's freezing out, and he wants to take this back to a much warmer place. She nods knowingly, sitting up with him and allowing him to scoop her into his arms. She clings onto him like he will fade away if she lets go, burying her face in his neck. Her tears have finally subsided as she tightens her grip on him, his flash step moving them back to her barracks at a rapid pace.
Finally, Gin arrives at her door. His reiatsu has been cleverly masked for the time being, allowing them to enter without the alarm of the guards. He looks into Rangiku's eyes as they become glassy again, and he kisses her fervently. He turns the knob gently and pushes the remainder of the door open with his foot.
A soft smile graces his features as he places her gently onto her bed, the blankets already messy. She looks up at him as she pulls the blankets up over herself, searching his eyes with her own. "It really is you, isn't it?" she whispers, a fear suddenly filling her quiet voice. She's afraid of the answer she could receive, afraid that he will fade away once again and she will be left with the imagination that carries her away every night. She clutches onto the sheets, hoping that they will start to make her cold skin feel warmer.
Gin brushes the hair out of her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek. "It's really me, Ran-chan," he says with a smile. He brings his face closer, their noses brushing as he presses his forehead into hers. "I'm not goin' anywhere this time."
She quickly grabs at the fabric of his black robes, smashing her lips against his. He kisses her back, passion pulsing through him. He makes his way into her bed, wrapping the sheets around them as he lies down gently on top of her. She's ripping at his clothes, wanting to feel his flesh against her own. Gin takes the hint, allowing her to undress him as her eyes stare deep into his own. He smirks, his fingers finding the delicate pink knot of her shinigami robes. He kisses her as he quickly discards of the clothing that lingers between them, throwing them off of the bed. He presses his weight down onto her, a wide grin finally appearing on her face. "Now that's a smile I missed," Gin whispers as he kisses the corners of her lips. "I worked real hard ta see that smile, ya know."
She wraps her arms tightly around his back, her fingers gripping at his soft flesh. She has so many questions to ask, but she can barely handle talking at all right now. She doesn't know whether she wants to cry out of happiness or laugh from sheer joy, finally accepting the fact that he is alive and in her bed, keeping her body warm.
He kisses her neck, making sure he doesn't miss a single spot as he works his way down to her collarbone. He lightly sucks on the protruding bone, kissing it softly as his left hand finds one of hers underneath the covers. She's breathing heavy as his lips work their way further and further down, the warmth between her legs becoming unbearable.
Gin looks up at her with lust filled eyes, smiling as he adjusts his weight on her and moves down a bit. He carefully takes one of her perky nipples into his mouth, never breaking eye contact with her. He watches her as his tongue flicks back and forth, and decides to take her other breast in his hand. He gently nibbles before rolling his tongue around her nipple, soothing the sore bud as he closes his eyes. He moves back and forth between breasts, giving them the equal attention they deserve. He listens to her moan aloud, proud to have triggered such a response from her. Her fingers are in his hair, tugging gently on his silvery locks as she arches upwards a bit. Gin's lips detach from her breast, and begin kissing further and further down her stomach.
He decided long ago that he would take his time, all night if he had to, to show her just how much he missed her. He wanted to show her how much he loved her, and how hard the distance had been for him. All his life he had put his own needs aside and concentrated on her, and tonight wouldn't be anything different. The only thing that ever mattered in his life was her. She was the entire world to him.
Rangiku's hands went from Gin's hair to his shoulders, gripping them slightly and attempting to pull him back up. He opens his eyes, pausing his ministrations and raising his head to look at her. She smiles, and he immediately knows that all she needed was reassurance that it was really him, that he was there. Gin smiles back at her and rests his head right above her belly button. He kisses her soft skin, his fingers tracing down the length of her body and finding the edges of her lacy panties. He contemplates teasing her a little, and decides that it's in his best interest to do so.
He makes eye contact with her one last time before his fingers slowly pull the fabric away from her aching womanhood, ripping it off of her body in one quick motion. His fingers delicately play with her folds, driving her crazy as she arches closer to his hand. He gently allows his index finger to circle around her most sensitive bud, enjoying the reaction he gets from her. Her pussy grows wetter and wetter in every passing moment, and he can't help but want to run his tongue along the length of her weeping core.
Gin's face nuzzles closer to her, his lengthy tongue peaking out from his mouth. He presses his tongue against her, lapping up her wetness as he places one of his fingers inside of her. He licks her aching pussy at such a slow, agonizing rate while exploring her body for the first time. He attempts to open her tight core up by inserting a second finger, and then another, while engulfing her clit with his mouth. As he begins to gently suck on it, she bucks her hips into him. Her muscles tighten around his fingers, and he can't get enough of her. Soon his pace is picking up, her vision becoming clouded with pure pleasure and desire. His free hand begins to knead her breast, causing her to groan out loud. "Mmm… Rangiku, how do ya taste so good?" Gin hums against her pussy, the vibrations from his words causing her to see stars. He covers her in quick, lengthy licks, his fingers constantly curving and twisting to reach at that spot buried within her. Her breathing becomes ragged. She moans as she bucks her hips again, her body unleashing a sheer pleasure within her that she had never felt before.
Gin smiles and laps up the remainder of her fresh juices, kissing her thighs before coming back up to the surface. She looks like an angel to him as she lays there panting, her hair disheveled around her pillow and a pink glow resonating from her cheeks. He takes in the sight of her, pausing and smiling to himself. He can't believe just how much he loves her right in this very moment. He silently thanks whoever saved him from his impending death, thanking them for allowing him to be with Rangiku finally.
Rangiku opens her eyes, glazed over with desire, and looks into his. "You're too far away from me," she whispers. Gin smiles, moving back up her body and playing with her strewn-about locks of hair. She looks at him and kisses him passionately. "I need you inside of me," she says as she pulls him closer, tasting herself on his tongue. He groans into her mouth, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around her again. She can feel the length of his cock against her thigh, and aches to feel him thrusting into her.
He places himself at her entrance, the tip of his cock rubbing against her core. She looks into his eyes and touches his cheek, smiling up at him. 'He's real,' she thinks to herself. 'This is really happening. He's here… he's here with me.'
Her eyes gaze downward towards his neck, and she can't help but notice the lengthy scar that spans from his shoulder down to his hip bone. She freezes, remembering why it is she was so happy to see him. She thought he was dead. He was supposed to be dead. Her mouth hangs open a little as her fingers begin to trace the raised flesh, and Gin frowns.
Quickly, he takes her hand in his and holds it over his heart. "It doesn't matter," he whispers, knowing full well what she's thinking. "I'm okay, Ran. I promise."
She blinks back tears as she directs her gaze back to him. All she can think of now is him laying in her arms all tattered and broken. 'He was supposed to be dead…'
Gin kisses her passionately, pulling her face up to meet his. He doesn't want to think about how he got to Soul Society, or how he's alive in the first place. He just wants to be with her. They can worry about that in the morning. Gin's tongue fights against Rangiku's, and she tightens her grip on him. "Do you still want me?" he whispers against her lips. She nods, her smooth thigh rising up and caressing his hip. She hooks her foot around his leg as he thrusts inside of her.
Gin moans into her mouth as her body tightens around him. His body is overrun with a fiery intensity as he continues to thrust in and out of her, their mouths sloppily meeting as waves of pleasure hit both of them. She moans as his thick cock fills her, making her feel whole once again. She claws at his back as he thrusts, holding onto him for dear life.
Gin can't hold back anymore, and he moans Rangiku's name as he comes. Hearing her name from his lips causes her to hit her peak, her eyes rolling back as waves of pleasure hit her again. Their sweaty bodies remain tangled together as he regains his breath, kissing the side of her face and moving hastily over to nibble on her earlobe. His warm breath around her ear instantly makes her heart flutter, and she kisses whatever portion of his face she can get at.
He pulls himself out of her and rolls over, his arms still around her and pulling her close to him. Her head rests on his shoulder as her fingers slowly trace his scar again. "I missed you…so much," she whispers, her words vibrating against his chest. Gin smiles, tightening his hold on her. "I can't even begin ta tell ya how much I missed bein' near you, Ran," Gin whispers back.
He knows they have a lot to talk about, but sleep begins to hit them both. Gin pulls the blankets up closer to them as Rangiku nuzzles his chest. "Promise me you won't leave me, no matter what," she says as consciousness begins to fade away from her. Gin kisses the top of her head, closing his eyes. "I promise. Go ta sleep, Ran-chan. I'll be here when ya wake up, no matter what."