Fairy Tales.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...And I hope Kishimoto is okay after that earthquake in Japan the other day...I hope everyone is okay actually. I don't own in fairy tale either.

Summary: Ok. Remember all those NON-AMERICAN Fairy tales we heard when we were young? Well Instead of those characters who were in them originally, imagine Naruto characters in their place.

The first fairy tale: Little Red Riding hood.

A Raven haired boy appeared seemingly out of nowhere into a forest. He looked to be 12 years of age, and had a rather odd hair style. He had a blue shirt and white shorts on.

"What the hell? Where am I?" said the Boy.

Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, the prettiest creature who was ever seen. Her mother was excessively fond of her; and her grandmother doted on her still more. This good woman had a little red riding hood made for her. It suited the girl so extremely well that everybody called her Little Red Riding Hood.

"Who the hell said that? What the hell is going on! One minute I'm eating Ramen with Naruto and Sakura and the next I'm here!" Sasuke screamed.

This is a fairy tale and you have to do what the Narrator says.

"There goes that voice again! What's a fairy tale?"

A story told to children to prolong their innocence.

Sasuke frowned. "I lost my innocence long ago.."

To who?

"My brother."

So...He raped you?

"Wha-NO!"

Anyway just go along with the story.

"Why?"

Cuz I said so.

"And?"

And if you don't I will annoy you to death by talking about how cool you are just like a fan girl.

"...You evil bastard. Fine. What do I have to do?"

Leave that to me.

A red hooded cape appeared on Sasuke.

"What is this?"

Moving on...One day her mother, having made some cakes, said to her, "Go, my dear, and see how your grandmother is doing, for I hear she has been very ill. Take her a cake, and this little pot of butter."

"The hell? I'm not a Damn girl! My mother is dead and my grandmother died before her..."

Sasuke you are so cool, and awesome and nice and-

"OK! I'm going ...Where does my 'Grandmother' live?"

Little Red Riding Hood set out immediately to go to her grandmother, who lived in another village.

"ANOTHER VILLAGE! I'm not walking that damn far!"

Fangirl...

Sasuke began walking through the forest.

"This reminds me of the forest of Death. Hey voice."

Yes?

"Can I use Jutsu?"

No

"Of course I can't...That would be too easy.

As she was going through the wood, she met with a wolf.

A puff of smoke appeared in front of Sasuke causing him to stop walking.

When it cleared Sasuke was met with the sight of a very famliar person.

"Kiba?"

"Sasuke?" The newly identified Kiba said. "What's going on?" He looked around in bewilderment.

"Just listen to the voice and do as your told. You are the wolf now." Sasuke said

"Why do you have a red cape on?"

"Shut up."

"It looks gay."

"SHUT UP!"

It does.

O_o

"YOU TOLD ME TO WEAR IT!" Sasuke screamed

Moving on...AHEM...The wolf...who had a very great mind to eat her up.

"Am I suppose to eat you now Sasuke?"

"So many have tried to put their mouths on me..."

but he dared not, because of some woodcutters working nearby in the forest.

"Wood cutter is just slang for CHIDORI."

He asked her where she was going. The poor child, who did not know that it was dangerous to stay and talk to a wolf, said to him, "I am going to see my grandmother and carry her a cake and a little pot of butter from my mother."

"What the hell kind of child talks to a random wolf?" Kiba asked aloud.

"Since when do wolves talk?" Sasuke added.

Now this is the part where you say your lines that you conveniently know.

"Does she live far off?" said the wolf

"Oh I say," answered Little Red Riding Hood; "it is beyond that mill you see there, at the first house in the village."

"Well," said the wolf, "and I'll go and see her too. I'll go this way and go you that, and we shall see who will be there first because it's ok for a wild animal to go see an old lady and tell the old lady's grandchild without making the child suspicious."

"Somehow I think you added some extra Kiba.."

The wolf ran as fast as he could,

"Apparently I have to go now. Seeya Sasuke." Kiba ran off.

taking the shortest path, and the little girl took a roundabout way, entertaining herself by gathering nuts, running after butterflies, and gathering bouquets of little flowers.

"Chasing butterflies? Who am I? Naruto? Gathering a bouquet of flowers? Who am I? Sakura? Touching nuts? Who am I? Orochimaru?"

Do it...

"Fine..."

It was not long before the wolf arrived at the old woman's house. He knocked at the door: tap, tap.

"Hold on...I-I'm outta breath I-I ran all the way here." Kiba said.

Kiba then Knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

'That voice sounds familiar.'

"Your grandchild, Little Red Riding Hood," replied the wolf, counterfeiting her voice; "who has brought you a cake and a little pot of butter sent you by mother because apparently a wolf can talk and do imitations aswell"

The good grandmother, who was in bed, because she was somewhat ill, cried out, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."

"What a trusting person."

The wolf pulled the bobbin, and the door opened,

"NARUTO?" Kiba was met with the sight of Naruto standing at the door dressed as a short, hideous old woman with whisker marks.

"Kiba? This is the first tme you were in my happy dream."

"The hell?"

and then he immediately fell upon the good woman and ate her up in a moment, for it been more than three days since he had eaten.

"I have to eat you now Naruto. No hard feelings."

"Can't you just put me in the closet?"

No he can not.

"Aww...Well can he get a bowl at least?"

He then shut the door and got into the grandmother's bed, expecting Little Red Riding Hood, who came some time afterwards and knocked at the door: tap, tap.

"Hold on...I'm tired...Those nuts were heavy." Sasuke said as he panted for breathe.

He then knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

Little Red Riding Hood, hearing the big voice of the wolf, was at first afraid; but believing her grandmother had a cold and was hoarse, answered, "It is your grandchild Little Red Riding Hood, who has brought you a cake and a little pot of butter mother sends you."

'Nobody is that stupid...I wonder who the Grandmother is?'

The wolf cried out to her, softening his voice as much as he could, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."

Little Red Riding Hood pulled the bobbin, and the door opened.

The wolf, seeing her come in, said to her, hiding himself under the bedclothes, "Put the cake and the little pot of butter upon the stool, and come get into bed with me."

"Really Kiba? You are clearly NOT my grandmother."

"...I'm just doing as I'm told..."

And now Sasuke has to do as he's told and take off his clothes and get into bed with another guy.

"...Oh Hell no." Sasuke said.

"This is easy Sasuke. I had to eat somebody."

Little Red Riding Hood took off her clothes and got into bed.

"Damnit!"

She was greatly amazed to see how her grandmother looked in her nightclothes, and said to her, "Grandmother, what big arms you have!"

"All the better to hug you with, my dear despite how hairy they are."

"Grandmother, what big legs you have!"

"All the better to run with, my child."

"Grandmother, what big ears you have!"

"All the better to hear with, my child despite how they are not human ears."

"Grandmother, what big eyes you have!"

"All the better to see with, my child."

"Grandmother, what big teeth you have got!"

"All the better to eat you up with."

And, saying these words, this wicked wolf fell upon Little Red Riding Hood, and ate her all up.

"First the grandmother and now Sasuke?"

Yes.

"Fine. Sorry Sasuke."

"Don't you dare-"

And she was eaten.

When the wolf had satisfied his appetite, he lay down again in the bed, and began to snore tremendously.

A huntsman came past, and bethought himself, "How can an old woman snore like that? I'll just have a look to see what it is."

"Oh I wonder who THIS is gonna be." Kiba said.

He went into the room, and looked into the bed; there lay the wolf. "Have I found you now, old rascal?" said he. "I've long been looking for you."

Hidan burst threw the door with his red scythe in hand.

"CHOP CHOP BITCH!"

"That's clearly not what the Narrator just said." Kiba pointed out.

The huntsman swung his might axe and cut the wolf wide open freeing Little Red riding hood and the granny.

Naruto and Sasuke popped out of Kiba's stomach.

"So YOU were the granny."

"Sasuke too? What are you guys doing in my Happy dream?"

"..."

"..."

"WHat the hell is going on!" Sasuke screamed.

All will be explained next chapter.

AN- NEW IDEA, WANT FEEDBACK PLEASE REVIEW.