"Dan, listen…" Shun sighed, addressing his best friend. "I really see no point whatsoever in both of us standing here exchanging insults for absolutely no reason. I mean come on – we're so above that! Not only have we been friends for almost all our lives but we've been through hell and back, fought side by side and there's no way we'd stoop to the level of gratuitous insults-"

"YOU'RE A BIG FAT POOPY HEAD!"

"…Really, Dan. Really?"

"Look at me! I'm Shun and I'm depressed all the time! I spend all my time being depressed or doing ninja training 'cause I'm a ninja and my best friend is a CHICKEN. HAVE I MENTIONED I AM A FUCKING NINJA?"

"Dan, quit it! I'm not doing this!"

"It's a good thing I have so much hair on my head because I have it virtually nowhere else on my body! ALSO I AM A NINJA."

"…I would be a little more insulted if this wasn't coming from a guy with an approximate IQ of this room's temperature…"

"OH YEAH? WELL… YOU'RE GAY!"

"Very mature."

"Also, the only reason who can get away with those skin tight jeans is 'cause YOUR PENIS IS REALLY SMALL! AHAHAHAHA…!"

"Whatever, Dan… You realize that all I need to do is aim for a certain part of your spinal cord in order to paralyse you from the neck down? Do you know why I can do this?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, you're a ninja – I get it! We all get it! You're a fucking ninja-"

"It's more than you've ever managed to accomplish!"

"Hey, I saved the world like four times!"

"Oh please, like you do anything other than stand there and yell dramatically while Drago decimates whatever Big Bad's managed to crop up. ALSO, may I add, we wouldn't have had to deal with half those guys in the first place if it wasn't for your carelessness!"

"AT LEAST I'M BETTER THAN SOME USELESS PRETTY BOY WHO JUST STANDS THERE PERIOD. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WERE RELEVENT TO THE PLOT?"

"MY… My voice actor plays in a band. They're reasonable talented…"

"If you weren't so pretty people wouldn't like you HALF AS MUCH!"

"And yet I seem to attract approximately 80% of our viewers. I'm not complaining."

"Oh THANK GOD – now we won't have to listen to you drone on for a few years about the trials of training to become a 'true' ninja and speed and stealth and all that shit, or the fact that your Mom-"

"You leave my Mother out of this!"

"…MY MOM IS SO HOTTER THAN YOUR MOM!"

"OH, YOU WISH! MY MOM WAS SMOKIN' EVEN ON HER DEATH BED…" Shun paused, frowning. "Okay, I never intended to say that. I really think we should stop now."

"Yeah, I guess. You're still gay though."

"Whatever Dan… I'm also better looking than you'll ever be…"

"I heard that! EMO NINJA!"

"YOU'RE HEADSTRONG, RASH AND CARELESSLY IMPULSIVE!"

"YOU WEAR MORE EYELINER THAN SELLON!"

"YOU CHARGE BLINDLY INTO SITUATIONS WAY OVER YOUR HEAD!"

"YOUR ONLY CONTRIBUTION TO BAKUGAN WHATSOEVER IS – OH WAIT, YOU CONTRIBUTE NOTHING! AN EXTRA FROM VAMPIRE KNIGHT WOULD BE MORE USEFUL TO HAVE AROUND!"

"Oh, that does it – Runo is so cheating on you!"

"With YOU? Yeah right – there's no way MY girlfriend is gonna fall for YOU and your ridiculous level of attractiveness for a kiddies' anime…" Dan stopped and eyed Shun up and down.

"Actually, on second thought-"

"Too late, Kuso! You're about to become an unlucky childhood friend!" With that, Shun spun on his heel and raced out. Dan stared after him, then shook his head and followed his lead.

"WELL WELL… YOU'RE STILL REALLY GAY! …Shun? Please don't steal my girlfriend!"

…Well, that was terrible. Sorry for the delay.

I have Dan vs Alice/Masquerade and Spectra vs Gus half written…

Feel free to resubmit pairings – I'll redo this one better someday. Laters…