Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Summary: Mikan finally realizes her feelings for Natsume and starts avoiding him. Too bad she doesn't know that Natsume feels the same way.

I am so excited! Today, I am going on a double date! Ruka's taking me! He's a new student and he and Natsume really got on well. The other two persons are Natsume, my best friend and Luna. She's a bitch, slut, and a flirt. In short, the most popular girl. How cliche! Why must the queen bee always be mean? Why can't she be this big ball of sunshine? Anyways, I was ecstatic! Well, except for the fact that Luna's going. But still! I won't let her get me down. I rarely went out on dates cause Natsume's scaring them all away. He didn't tell me but I figured it out. Who wouldn't? A guy talks to me,then he suddenly scrambles away while looking at something behind. As I turn around, it's Natsume. When I ask him, he acts innocent. It's really funny and I'm not angry at all. I'm not really that eager to date and I know Natsume means well and he wouldn't do it without a reason. I'm glad he allowed Ruka to date me though. It means that he approves which means that he's kind.

I wore a black tube dress that reached mid-thigh, just a little bit above the knees. It showed of my curves and a little bit of cleavage. It was such a cute dress. I saw it while I was window shopping and I just had to buy it. I rarely dressed like this. I usually wore loose clothes and pants, they were more comfortable. I combed my hair and left them flowing. I really am lucky to have this kind of hair. It's really soft and silky. I looked at the mirror and decided to put on my favorite earrings, the one with the dangling moon and star. That's enough. I think I looked okay. I sprayed some perfume and went down the stairs happily humming a tune. Ruka was coming in 5 minutes and Natsume was waiting downstairs. We would then go together to pick Luna up.

When I reached the bottom, Natsume was joking around with my dad. I cleared my throat and both of them looked at me. My dad was beaming with happiness. Natsume went stiff, with no expression. Did I look bad? Why wasn't Natsume smiling or something? I felt hurt for some reason. He looked very handsome. He wore a white button-down shirt with the first two buttons open and jeans. My heart swelled. I wanted to be near him.

"Hey, so how do I look?" I asked the both of them wanting to get some feedback.

"Darling, you look so beautiful." My dad gushed.

"Thanks, Dad." I said, not contented with his compliment. I wanted to hear what Natsume thought.

"Wait, let me take a picture. HONEY! Bring me a camera!" He shouted to my mom.

"DAD! Stop being so embarrassing!" I whined.

"But, darling! You look so beautiful! It's not often that we see you like this." He gushed.

"But—"

" Oh my gosh! My little baby is growing up!" My mom said and started to take pictures.

"Mom, stop it!" I complained.

"No, stand there. Next to Natsume." She ordered.

"MOOOM!" She gave me a look.

"Fine." I huffed and stood next to Natsume. He smelled great. I wanted to hug him.

"You two look so so good together. My mom cooed.

"MOM! Natsume, tell her it's not true!" I turned to him

"Now that you mention it, we do look good together don't we, Yuka?" He smirked and turned to my mother. Who in turn nodded vigorously. I started to wish that that head would fall off. The bell rang. I threw my hands up. Finally! Someone who was sane!

"Ugh! I'm gonna get that." I opened the door. Ruka stood there with a bouquet of roses with his hand. Aw! He's so sweet! He wore a light polo shirt and jeans.

"Mikan,these are for you." He said giving me the flowers.

"Oh, Ruka. These are beautiful. Thank you. Please come in." I ushered him inside. Once he was inside, I introduced him to my parents. They chatted for awhile while I went to place the flowers in a vase.

"Come on, let's go and pick Luna up. I said while waving goodbye to my parents.

"Bye honey." They said in unison.

Ruka led me to his car and told me that I looked beautiful. I smiled at him and thanked him. We went inside the car and Ruka started to drive.

"Hey, can Luna not sit beside me later? I don't really like her." I told the both of them.

"Sure! She can sit beside me. You sit beside Natsume." Ruka said.

"Really? Thanks!"I beamed at him.

We finally reached Luna's place. Natsume called her phone and told her to get out. I frowned at him. It wasn't polite. He gave me a blank look. She finally came out. She wore this really tight purple dress that showed most of her boobs. It reached just a little bit below her butt. She then curled her hair and wore really thick make-up.

"Hey Natsume! Hey Ruka! And hey..." She greeted the both of them and forgot my name. Typical.

"It's Mikan." Natsume said, reminding her. I shot him a grateful look which he returned with a small smile. After awhile, we finally reached the restaurant. It was really fancy. We went inside and the waiter led us to our seats. I sat beside Natsume and across Ruka. The waiter gave us our menus and within a few minutes, we have already ordered.

"So, Natsume, how do I look?" Luna asked batting her lashes.

"Like a slut." He replied. I tried to stifle a laugh but glared at me and I smiled sheepishly.

"Whatever, so why aren't you sitting beside me?" She pouted.

"Cause I wanna sit beside Mikan." Natsume said. Luna huffed and shut up.

The food finally arrived I ordered this pasta-like thing. I think it's carbonara, but I'm not too sure. It has this really fancy name that I can't pronounce. Natsume ordered steak and Ruka, who was a vegetarian, ordered something vegetable-y... Luna on the other hand, barely had anything on her plate.

We started to eat. It was really delicious. I was right. It was carbonara with a fancy name.

"So.." I said trying to start a conversation.

"So what? Sakura?" She shot me a look.

"Are you on a diet?" I blurted out.

"Well, duh! It takes a lot to maintain this figure!" She glared at me.

"Uh... sorry..." I shut my mouth and regretted ever opening it. Natsume snickered and I glared at him. He gave me an innocent look in which I raised my eyebrow to.

"Mikan." Ruka said, catching my attention.

"Yes,Ruka?" I said, facing him.

"What do you think of this place?" He asked politely.

"I think it's nice but I'd rather go somewhere more casual." I said honestly.

"Well, I'll remember that." Hope shining in his eyes.

"Yeah, you do that." I smiled again. He beamed at me. He looked so cute while smiling. I noticed that his eyes lit up whenever he smiled. What I didn't notice was Natsume looking at us with hurt in his eyes.

After we finished eating, Natsume paid and we went out. We dropped Luna off first. She insisted that Natsume accompany her to the door. I watched them. As expected, Luna was flirting with him. What I didn't expect was Natsume flirting back. Luna was touching his chest, running her hands up and down in his arm. Natsume grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. Luna's arm snaked around his neck. Then, they kissed, it turned into a make-out. I was hurt. I didn't like seeing Natsume with someone else. I looked away and waited for them to finish. It really hurt. He was a playboy, so I should already expect this. I don't know how many girls he had already fucked. I didn't mind it. But seeing him kissing another girl with my own two eyes, I didn't like it.

Then they finally finished. Finally! After 5 freaking minutes! Natsume climbed in and Ruka drove away.

"Nice man!" Ruka said. "Was she good?"

"Yeah." Natsume said after thinking for awhile. It only hurt me more.

We finally reached Natsume and my house. We live together. That's why we were so close. Ruka escorted me ti the front door with Natsume trailing behind.

"So... I really had a lot of fun tonight." He said.

"Me too." I smiled emptily. I felt empty inside. I kept thinking about their kiss.

"I hope that we can do this again next time."

"Yeah..." he leaned in and I just stood there and stared at my gosh! He was gonna kiss me! I don't know if I was ready for this. Our lips touched and I felt nothing. He pulled away, eyes bright.

"I should go." I told him.

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye." I said and waited for him to drive away. I went inside the house and remembered that Natsume was there watching us. Natsume, the person who ruined my evening. When it was meant to be awesome.

I went up my room, my feet feeling like bricks. Every step I took was like carrying a 1000-ton metal. Why was I like this? Why would I care if Natsume kissed another girl? I shouldn't. I collapsed on the bed my heart breaking. Natsume was a playboy, he's been doing this tons of times! He's not virgin anymore! For goodness sake! Why would I be feeling this, this... JEALOUSY! Why would I be jealous? A person can only be jealous if she likes... oh my God! I like him! Why! Why haven't I realized this sooner? I've probably liked him for a long time and only realized this now. Why is life so unfair? I was so busy drama-ing that I didn't realize that I had already fallen asleep.

I woke up feeling happy. Until I remembered what happened last night. I wanted to go back to sleep and get away from reality. But I knew that I had to get up and face it. So I did what every person had to do in the went down to have breakfast.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Hi, Auntie, Uncle." I greeted them. I sat down and started eating. I heard a door close and made the mistake of looking there and I was not gonna be able to talk to him. I didn't really want to face him. There wasn't even 24 hours when I realized that I like him. He sat down beside me and didn't say a word. Which was normal. He was always such a quiet person. I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm done. I'm going now! Goodbye, everyone!" I went out to go to school and heard footsteps behind. I turned around and saw Natsume following me.

"Why are you following me?" I asked him.

"Why wouldn't I? Don't we always got to school together?" He said staring at me weirdly.

"Oh,right." I blushed. How could I forget? "C'mon."

We got to the car and I sat to the passenger seat waiting for him to climb in. He started the engine and drove. Everything was silent which was unusual since I always talked. He seemed to feel it too because he kept glancing at me.

"Mikan..." He started.

"Keep your eyes on the rode." I said, not wanting to talk to him.

"You know that nothing will happen if I drove with a blindfold on." I sighed. It was true.

"Mikan..." He started again.

"Just shut up and keep driving." I snapped at him. His face remained impassive but if you look closely, you can see the hurt in his eyes. I suddenly felt guilty. I mean he had done nothing wrong.

"Look, I'm sorry alright. I'm just not in the mood."I told him. He nodded.

We finally reached the school park and I hurriedly got off. I reached my locker and opened it. I pulled my books out and I heard Ruka talking to me.

"Hi, Mikan." He said.

"Oh! Hi, Ruka." I said.

"So... Uhhh... Would you like to go to the movies this Friday?" He asked me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to go with him. But I didn't want to hurt him.

"Uhh... Ruka, I'm not sure if I have time..." I said.

"Saturday then?" He asked hopefully.

"No, Saturday is my relaxation time. And I rarely go out." I explained.

"Sunday?" He asked.

"I can't, it's study day." I explained once more.

"Oh. This Thursday?" I sighed.

"Uhh..." I started to shake my head.

"I get it. You don't like me the way I like you." He said sadly.

"I'm really sorry." I apologized.

"It's okay. It's not your fault." He said.

"No, it is. I'm really sorry... It's just that there's someone else..."

"It's Natsume, isn't it?"

"How did you know?" I asked him.

"I had a feeling...The way you looked at him last night."

"Yeah. I only realized it myself last night."

"Don't worry." He smiled.

"Yeah..." I smiled sadly.

"If there's anything I can do to help..."

Well... I don't have anything to hang out with at lunch. Since I always hang out with him but I can't face him right now..."

"If you want, we can be lunch buddies." He suggested.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said with a smile.

"Thanks. It really means a lot." I thanked him.

"No problemo!" He said.i bade him goodbye and walked away.

I arrived at class with just enough time to get seated. I sat farthest away from Natsume as possible. It was free seating anyway. He looked at me curiously and raised a brow, asking why I'm not sitting next to him like I usually do. I pretend like I didn't see him and looked at my book. I peeked and saw him staring at me. I couldn't take this anymore and thankfully the teacher came. It was really boring and Natsume was still staring at me. It was very uncomfortable. The bell rang and I hurriedly went out, only to find Natsume waiting for me at the door. I was horror-stricken. I quickly avoided him but he was too quick.

"Mikan." He said and grabbed my arm.

"Please, not now." I pleaded. He loosened his grip and I quickly pulled away. The day passed quickly and to my horror , it was lunch time already. I slowly went towards my locker, dreading the moment of going to the cafeteria. To my astonishment, Ruka was there waiting for me. Relief flooded through me.i was so glad that I didn't have to go alone.

"Ruka." I said, smiling. He looked up.

"Oh. Hey, Mikan." He greeted me.

"Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me." I said, thanking him again.

"Yeah? Well, you're welcome."

"Are you sure? It's really okay if you don't want to do this." I asked, making sure.

"Mikan, I'm really sure." He said, sincerity clear in his voice.

"Okay,thanks." I felt really he is so kind. Someday, he'll find a girl who'll make him happy. We went to the cafeteria together. The moment we opened the door,it was chaos! It was like a zoo. I grabbed his hand and went to the back of the line. I searched for Natsume and saw him sitting alone at our usual place, waiting for me. I felt really guilty. But I couldn't face him. Not yet. I'll wait for the right time.

After paying for our food, we went to find an available table.

"Hey, Mikan. There's one." I looked.

"Oh." It was the table where we usually sat. Where was Natsume? Last time I checked, he was there. I looked around and saw him with his friends, goofing around. Luna on top of him, flirting. I can't believe it! I guess he already got fed up on how I was treating him. I can't really blame him. I was such a bitch to him. My heart sank. I ate the food quietly.

"Hey, are you okay?" He grabbed my hand. How thoughtful.

"No, but I don't want to talk about it." I grimaced.

"Sure. But if you change your mind, I'm here." He squeezed my hand.

"Thanks." This time, I smiled.

Now, I'm sitting in my bed. Thinking. Reminiscing about the past. When things were not yet complicated.

'Knock, knock, knock."

"Come in. I wonder who it was. It's probab—

"Natsume! What are you doing here? Get out." I said, surprised.

"Why? I always come to your room." He said, as if stating a fact. Which was true. Darn.

"Always, except today. Please, just get out. Don't do this to me." I pleaded.

"Do what to you? I've been worried sick why didn't you wait for me to drive you home? Why did you let Ruka drive you home?" He was furious.

"Please, Natsume. Not now." I begged.

"Not now? When? We need to talk, Mikan. Don't think that I didn't notice you avoiding me!"

"No, I can't." My voice cracking.

"You can't. But we have to." He said, eerily calm.

"Please." I whispered, tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry." In a span of seconds, he reached me and cupped my cheeks.

"Do you hate me?" He asked.

"No! Why would you think that!"

"Am I not good enough for you?"

"No, you'll always be so much better than me." I didn't know why, but we were whispering.

"Then, why won't you talk to me?"

"I can't." I squeezed me eyes shut. Tears fell out of my eyes.

"Yes, you can." He wiped my tears away. "Is it Ruka? Do you need some space?"

"No. That's not it."

"Tell me why."

"I can't"

"Please. I can't bear us not talking. Today has been hell for me." I was suddenly furious.

"Hell! It didn't look like it! You were having so much fun making out with Luna! Was that hell for you?" i accused him.

"What? I never did that!" He said, sounding angry again.

"Don't lie to me! I have eyes! I clearly saw it!"

"She was comforting me!"

"Yeah right! Luna straddling you was what you call comforting! I'm not stupid!" We were shouting now. I hated it.

"She was just comforting me because of you! I can't believe this! And here I am being sad, wondering what I did wrong while you were flirting with Ruka—"

"I was not flirting with him!"

"Yeah? Then why were you with him?"

"I..." I faltered. I couldn't tell him.

"So, you were flirting with him!" He accused me.

"He was comforting me! Only he was not straddling me!" I was so pissed! It was all his fault!

"Why didn't you go to me then! I was always the one who helped you! Now that you have Ruka, I'm not good enough for you?"

"No! You don't understand!"

"I think I do. You've replaced me with Ruka." He said, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"No! That's not true!"

"Then tell me why you were avoiding me! Tell me why you didn't come to me for comfort!"

"You wouldn't be able to help me!" I shouted.

"Try me." Silence. "Mikan, tell me."

"No, you can't." I whispered, almost crying.

"Yes, I can."

"Natsume, you can't stop my heart from breaking." Another silence. Only our breathing could be heard. Suddenly, he caught my arms. I was scared. He looked so angry, but you could see that he was hurt.

"Who is he?" He asked. But I couldn't tell him.

"Nobody you need to know."

"Tell me!" He growled.

I kissed , how much I wanted to do that. "You." I whispered. Then I wiggled out of his grip and ran to the bathroom. I finally let my tears fall. I sobbed.

'Knock, knock, knock.'

"Go away, Natsume."

"Mikan, please hear me out." He croaked. I swear, he was crying. He must pity me.

"No! Stop pitying me! I don't need your pity! Go away!" I shouted. He banged the door. I couldn't take it anymore. I opened the door swiftly.

"Go away! Stop bothering me!" I roared. He cupped my cheeks.

"I love you." He whispered. Then he kissed me. Oh, how my heart ached for him! I want him. I need him. I love him. I pulled away. Just a hair's breadth. "I love you, too." Then I pulled him in. Our tongues playing. Passion. Love. Lust. All the years of waiting. It all poured out.

Reluctantly, we had to pull away. Curse our need to breathe! He was smiling, I was smiling too.

"I love you." He whispered. Our foreheads touching. "I always have."

Author's note: Fourth story! So happy! Read and review! Please! If you guys want a sequel please tell me. I already have one in mind. But I'm not sure if it's better that I end it here or continue it. Once again, please review! Thanks!