I don't own Glee itself or the character's, but there are many days I wish I did. If I did own Glee Faberry would have happened already. The story itself however I do own and the story is copyrighted, which doesn't even compare to owning Glee...which once again I don't own. If that made sense :)
A/N: so a lot of the parts for this story won't follow the storyline of the show, It's kind of AU in a way I guess. It also takes place at the end of senior year. I hope you like it :)
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The students filed into McKinley High, some of them hung over from the night before, some of them lacking much needed sleep. They had one more week left, even though they had just celebrated their prom less than 14 hours ago. Many students hadn't even bothered to show up, but everyone from Glee had already entered through the front doors, some not wanting to more than others. But even if they wanted to skip, they still had some finals to finish up, and most of them counted on those marks so that they could attend the college of their hearts desire in a few months.
Rachel walked toward her locker with her head held high, with Finn's hand wrapped in her own. She was trying not to focus on what had happened last night between the duo. Her idea of prom never included a drunken loss of her virginity, or to be intoxicated at all for that matter. She was mad at Punk for spiking the punch, mad at Finn for coming onto her and mad at herself the most for not saying no. the couple hadn't mentioned it, mainly due to the fear they had at losing the relationship, which they both knew in their hearts and in the pit of their stomachs was going to end soon anyway. Rachel sighed, she was sick of the people who had been walking by her raving about how awesome Prom was, when for her it had sucked. She had always envisioned her prom as being amazing, the typical fairytale. It after all was a girl's second big night, a girl's first being their wedding.
"So you haven't said a word since I picked you up this morning…" Finn said, breaking the silence. Since last night he had been walking on eggshells even when he was alone. He was disappointed in himself, he never wanted to take Rachel's virginity, at least not like he had. He always pictured going all out, with candles and actually saying I love you. But last night there was no "I love you", only his question of "are you sure?" and her weak nod, which he shouldn't have bought. He thought he would know better that a nod isn't an answer; then again he was also drunk and horny. "…are you okay?" He managed to finish his question and Rachel turned the dials on her lock and quickly opened her locker. She dropped Finn's hand and it fell to his side, his heart breaking at her blank expression and careless hold she had on him a few seconds ago.
"I'm fine." She whispered. She turned to look at Finn, her heart wasn't fluttering the way it use to and she felt disappointed in him every time she looked into his eyes.
"Quinn wait!" Sam yelled as he ran past Rachel and Finn, knocking them out of their intense stare off with one another. Both turned to look at the scene that was forming between their fellow Glee members.
The head Cheerio whipped around causing Sam to come to a hault. "What part of I can't trust you anymore don't you understand!"
"It was a mistake, I love you…not her!" the girl he had made out with last night seemed to be a blur in his mind, he couldn't even remember her name. Sadly Quinn didn't even know the girl to begin with because she was way above most of the girls at the school and couldn't care less, or have any intention of getting to know them all…yet they all knew her.
"That's comforting." Quinn said, forcing herself to take in deep breaths to prevent herself from crying in front of everyone. As she inhaled she felt the sharp intake of breath cut through her chest, like a knife. It was unsettling. Everyone knew Quinn had cheated on Sam before, and many people watching the scene kind of thought she should give the guy a break, but between them it was a lot more intense. Sam had forgiven Quinn for cheating on him with Finn last year. The Justin Bieber wannabe had thought to himself that if Rachel could get over the fact that Finn had fallen for Quinn again (which had faded quickly) and then got back together with the diva, then Sam could forgive Quinn for getting caught up in a few moments. Of course that was a year ago, and since then they had gotten a lot more serious and he just ruined it in a heartbeat.
"You cheated on me before." He said, mentally slapping himself for his attempt at making his side of the story better, which failed because Quinn's death glare pierced right through him.
"So this was just you getting back at me?" Quinn said her hurt in her voice, deceiving her anger in her eyes.
"Quinn I was drunk…"
Quinn took in a shaky breath and a sudden movement that she noticed in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Rachel had shut her locker, trying not to pay attention to the very public fight between the two 'lovebirds' in the hallway. Quinn narrowed her eyes and when Rachel turned around she instantly regretted doing so.
"What the hell are you staring at Man Hands?"
Sam pushed his hair away from his eyes and placed a hand on Quinn's arm making her attention fall back on him.
"Why do you have to be so mean?"
Quinn's eyes shot up to his. She didn't even know the answer to that. She knew the brief explanation for it and that was to maintain her image, but she had never known why she chose Rachel as her target. She didn't have anything specific against the diva, sure the Cheerio found the shorter girl a bit annoying at times, and wanted to duct tape her mouth shut…like most people did. But Rachel had never done anything bad to her; the diva was genuinely nice and would look past anyone's flaws and give them a chance. Quinn also thought the diva was pretty, which bugged her at times but she had never been sure why. The blonde understood where Sam was coming from, she was a mean person and regardless if deep down she actually was fond of Rachel she'd never admit it or show it, she couldn't lose her popularity, not again.
Although there was another reason she'd never admit it, mainly because sometimes it scared her. Many times she had woken up due to dreams about Rachel, where she had been involved in lip locks with her. A part of her knew that was another reason she tortured Rachel, was to convince herself she hated her, instead of whatever feelings she had toward the brunette. She wasn't even sure what feelings she held for Rachel. One thing she knew was she couldn't be gay; she couldn't like girls, especially Rachel Berry. Quinn's religious view remained the same but a lot of her values and morals had changed, especially after getting pregnant. She never had anything against people who were gay, after all Santana and Brittany were her best friends and they were sleeping together and she didn't care…but Quinn wasn't gay, or so she tried to convince herself…a lot.
A part of Quinn didn't even care that Sam cheated on her; she was going to end it anyway. But she was still hurt, she did love Sam…she just wasn't sure in what way anymore. She wasn't even sure of her own sexuality, but she would swear up and down that she was straight; she just hadn't found the right guy yet.
"Well why did you have to cheat on me?" Quinn folded her arms across her chest and snuck a side glance at Rachel, no one seemed to notice…but the diva had. Rachel looked away and turned toward her locker again, afraid she was going to have an ice cold slushie thrown in her face for watching the fight play out. Sam's bottom lip quivered in the way it always did when he was upset, Quinn always thought it was cute, bur for some reason she hadn't thought it was cute in a long time.
"Sam…It's over. I can't do this anymore." Quinn gave Sam one last intense stare in the eyes, she slipped off the ring he had given her and thrown it on the floor. It landed before his feet and he looked at Quinn, hurt. The blonde turned around on her heel and stormed off, as she stormed down the hall the bell rang loudly which caused the crowd to disperse and everyone to head to their final they had to write.
Finn shut Rachel's locker for her and grabbed her hand in routine. He walked her to class, the silence still thick between them. They finally arrived to Rachel's science class, and she took in a deep breath, trying not to stress about her final.
"I'll see you afterwards in Glee?"
Nobody understood why Schuester had called a Glee meeting after their final exam, seen as their competitions had already been completed, but Rachel was excited to sit in Glee for the last time. She would definitely miss it.
Rachel nodded and headed into the classroom, leaving Finn behind to head to his own final exam.
xxxxx
Rachel focused on the ground and also focused on each step she took as she made her way to Glee. It wasn't typical Rachel Berry behavior but nobody seemed to notice, or even wonder about it.
"Hey Rach." Finn said, as he caught up to her. Her head jerked upward and she turned around to face him.
"Hello Finn, how did your final go?"
"Okay, I think I did fine…"
"I'm glad." Rachel said as her and Finn walked into Glee. Quinn, who was sitting alone in her regular spot in the back, glanced over at the brunette and her ex-boyfriend as they walked in. She could sense that something was off with Rachel…she sat there and watched the diva as she cautiously sat down.
"Hey Q." Santana and Brittany said simultaneously as they sat down, beside the blonde.
Quinn looked away from her fellow Glee clubber and towards her friends. "Hey…"
Everyone in the room sunk into their conversations, except for Rachel and Finn who sat their silently. Kurt was the first to notice that they had yet to hear a ramble from the diva.
"Hey does anyone know what's up with Rachel?" He whispered to those around him, making sure Rachel couldn't hear him.
"Why would we even care?" Quinn mumbled causing many of them to look up at her.
"I think her and Finn are having some issues, they seemed pretty awkward with each other earlier." Mercedes said, remembering when she spotted them walking to Rachel's classroom.
"I wonder what's going on." Tina said.
"We all knew Rachel and Finn wouldn't last…so why are we making a big deal about it?" Quinn snapped she was so sick of hearing the name Rachel.
Mercedes was just about to comment on Quinn's rude attitude but the sound of Schuester's voice wouldn't allow her to.
"Hey guys…so I'll cut right to the chase of why I wanted all of you here today. I have a surprise for you guys."
Everyone started to talk at the same time about what the surprise could be. Will stood there and watched his students and he smiled, he definitely would miss this group of kids the most after they were done with high school. Quinn sat there, strangely uncomfortable in her normal clothes. Cheerleading had ended for them a week ago, and although they had quit last year they all rejoined this year, and although the blonde had always been uncomfortable in her uniform, she kind of missed it. She ran her fingers nervously up and down her jeans; she briefly looked over at Rachel and took in a deep breath.
"Okay everyone calm down…" Mr. Schue said, and everyone soon became quiet. "I thought since this was your last year together as a Glee club we should do something big. After a lot of convincing and fundraising and some chats with your parents…I put together a trip."
"What kind of trip?" Puck asked.
"We're going to Paris."
"Paris as in France?" Finn asked, Rachel looked at her boyfriend and resisted the want to roll her eyes at his slightly stupid question.
They erupted in conversation again, Kurt talking about all the amazing outfits he could buy and Mercedes brought up all the hot guys that they would meet, which earned a smile from Kurt and a high-five. The rest of them went on about how exciting it will be and everything else they could think of.
"Alright guys let me finish." Mr. Schuester pulled out some travel guides and handed them out to each student. "We leave the school next Monday night at 5pm sharp, so be here around 4:30 so I can give you your tickets. Also don't forget your passports and some extra cash."
Everyone looked away from him the moment he was done talking and began to discuss the trip again. Finn gave Sam, who was sitting beside him a high-five as they discussed something about the parties and the difference in drinking age there, which was 16. Rachel watched them and faintly listened to their conversation. She watched Finn and she wondered why she hadn't noticed before that he acted like a Neanderthal. There was something about him that seemed to bother her. Her memory flashed to last night and everything replayed in her head.
She shivered at the memory of it; she always thought sex was supposed to be good, not sloppy and momentary. It was not pleasurable for her, nor was it even worth the long wait. She always wanted it to be with someone special and during the perfect moment, but as she watched Finn now she realized he wasn't the one, he never was. But the one or not she felt as if she couldn't end it, she still loved him but her love for him has changed, but she felt as if she needed to hold on. She tried to think back to right before the sex and as she was deep in thought she couldn't remember if they even used a condom. She started to play with her hands in her lap, becoming worried and scared.
I am such an idiot. She thought. It was a rare thought seen as most of the time she considered herself as perfect.
Finn turned back toward her but she didn't seem to notice. He gently grabbed her hand and the gesture made her jump in shock. She looked at him, her eyes slightly glazed over.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine but Finn I think it'd be best if we talked about what happened last night."
Finn tightened his grip on her hand and nodded. "Okay…we can talk about it after Glee."
xxxxx
Finn sat on the end of Rachel's bed and he watched his girlfriend as she paced back and forth.
"I wasn't ready…" She said, finally turning to him. His heart sunk as soon as he heard her words, he never meant to push Rachel.
"It shouldn't have happened like that Rach…but I promise that when it does happen again between us it will be special. I love you and I'm really sorry."
Rachel stopped moving and she felt a little calm at his words…but something bothered her when he had mentioned it happening again. She wasn't exactly sure she'd want to have sex with Finn again. He was a great guy, and always took care of her and she loved him for that, he was a great kisser and an excellent boyfriend…but with Finn there was never any sparks, no fireworks…nothing. It had been the same With Jesse St. James and Puck, that's why she had ended things with them.
She was mad at realizing this too late and her heart pounded heavily against her rib cage, she could feel the pain that everything was causing. It felt as if her heart was clenching with pain every time it pounded.
The logical thing is to break up with Finn. If we are not right for each other then what is the point of continuing our romance… But I don't want to hurt him, he's always been so amazing and good to me, I can't just end it because of one stupid bump in the road. As most couples do we will have to just try and work through it…together. She thought to herself, she shook her head and sighed at her internal ramble. She looked at Finn and their eyes connected, she couldn't even remember what use to draw her in every time she looked into them.
"I forgive you. I'm also sorry Finn, I should have stopped it and I didn't."
xxxxx
Quinn shot up in bed, beads of sweat had formed on her forehead and her whole body was sweating. She was panting trying to catch her breath, which somehow was hard to do. She sighed and looked around the room…as she sat there she couldn't even recall what her dream was about.
How could a dream fall from your memory so quickly after experiencing it?
She looked over on her nightstand table and the Glee club photo she had framed caught her eye. She stared at Rachel, her hair fell just right over her shoulders and her smile was soft…and warm if that was possible in a photo. As Quinn began to think about the diva her heart picked up and she could feel the sweat coating her skin again.
What the fuck is happening to me?
She forced herself to lay down, her head colliding with her pillow. She forced her eyes closed and tried to fully fall asleep but she couldn't, she barely scratched the surface. For the rest of the night she laid there, her eyes open staring at the wall. As she rested there her mind was beginning to work overtime.
I cannot be gay…there's no way and I sure as hell cannot have feelings for Rachel Fucking Berry. I hate her, always have…we're enemies. I pick on her; she hates me in return that's how it's meant to be. I CAN'T LIKE HER! Quinn pulled her blankets up higher and snuggled her chin into it. I can't be into girls…I just can't. She forced her eyes shut and faint wrinkles formed at the corner of her eyes due to the force she was using to keep them shut tight.
You don't like Rachel…the mere thought of the diva made her heart pick up; she didn't like the vibration it made through her chest. She began to wonder what it'd be like to kiss the diva…and her eyes widened. I like Rachel…she brought her palm up to her forehead and hit herself lightly. She looked over at the clock and she sighed when she noticed her alarm was going to go off in 2 hours. She suddenly craved food, a certain food in particular. Quinn always did love her bacon. She slowly got out of bed and made her way out of her room, deciding she had nothing better to do then make some bacon, there was no way she was going to get back to sleep.