Disclaimer: I don't own Parks and Recreation.
Spoiler Warning: Though I haven't seen the Harvest Festival episode (03.07) yet, this fic was written working off of the promotional photos (.) for that episode so if you don't want even the smallest hint to anything about that episode, please do not proceed. Otherwise, please enjoy :)
Getting It
Leslie knew he still didn't really get it.
She could it see it in the unsure but trusting half-smile he had on as he walked back in her direction. It was the same kind of smile she remembered Andy shooting Gus the first time he tried to shine a shoe. It said simultaneously "...is this right?" and "What the hell am I doing?"
But Leslie also knew that Pawnee was, well, a lot to take in. She knew that it was different, really different, from anywhere else in the world (after all, wasn't that just what was so great about it?). And while she'd been lucky enough to grow up with all the best people and best customs and best things and best traditions of the best city in the whole world, she could understand how the whole thing might be a little confusing for someone who wasn't quite used to all that best of the best.
So when Ben was the only one in the office who hadn't been completely besides themselves yesterday when she'd brought in Lil' Sebastian for a Last-Day-Before-Harvest-Fest morale booster, she tried to remind herself that it was probably only because he'd been unfortunate enough to grow up in a town completely devoid of adorable miniature horse celebrities and definitely not because he really was just a numbers robot, completely devoid of human emotion.
And sure enough, when Leslie stopped by to check on the petting zoo early the next morning, there was Ben, looking even more awkwardly tall and gawky than usual as he stood next to the pint-sized pony, handing his handler a dollar in exchange for a carrot. She watched him kneel down to feed the tiny horse, one hand flat as it offered out the carrot, the other cautiously reaching out to pet his mane.
Of course, Leslie found anything involving little Lil' Sebastian to be pretty heartwarming in general, but she couldn't explain what it was about that particular moment that made her heart not just warm but melt. It was something else, something extra, something more than just a cute boy petting a cute horse. Whatever it was, it felt so genuinely touching, she couldn't help but make a quick detour at the gift shop before going over to say hello.
"Oh, hey," Ben said as soon as he spotted her walking in his direction. He looked to where he was standing, just inside the confines of the petting zoo fence, and then back at her, and must have assumed she would want an explanation."Everyone seemed to think I was a crazy for not being more excited about Lil' Sebastian yesterday, so I guess I sorta figured I should see what all the fuss was about."
"I saw," Leslie grinned. "And I have a present for you."
Before he could protest, she had handed him what appeared to be a folded up T-shirt. He held it up to see a printed likeness of Lil' Sebastian framed with the words "I Met Lil' Sebastian at the Pawnee Harvest Festival."
"You know, so you'll always have a little piece of Pawnee," she smiled. "You could even wear in the next town you audit so everyone will know you're not really 'Mean Ben.'" More like Sweet Ben, Cute Ben, Almost-As-Adorably-Huggable-As-Lil'-Sebastian Ben, she thought to herself but thankfully refrained from saying.
She could have sworn she saw a quick flash of something sad across Ben's face but whatever it had been was quickly covered by a smile. "Thank you, Leslie."
There was an uncomfortable moment in which the sincerity of the statement seemed echoed in the way he held her eyes. "Well," she said, breaking the tension. "Aren't you going to try it on? You can change in the First Aid tent. It's a ladies' medium. You're a little bigger than Tom and he wears a ladies' small, so it should fit."
He had given some halfhearted argument about being perfectly capable of fitting in men's sizes but in the end, had of course surrendered, retreating to the First Aid tent to don his lady-sized T-shirt.
And now, here he was, walking up to her in the shirt she had gotten him, ignoring the snickers from one or two strangers, and wearing that smile—that hopeful, humoring smile that said: "I don't really get it, but I'm sure as hell trying."
And suddenly she understood just what had struck her so significantly about that moment with Lil' Sebastian, what she'd somehow been missing in all the rush of Harvest Fest and saving her department. Ben might not have born in Pawnee, but he seemed to recognized that just because he wasn't used to it , didn't mean it wasn't beautiful. He saw something special enough in her city to believe different could mean better and he was ready to suspend his disbelief (and his dignity) long enough to honestly and wholeheartedly give it a chance.
"Nice shirt, dude," Tom, who had joined Leslie while she was waiting, commented with utmost sarcasm.
Leslie sent him a quick glare before turning back at Ben with a smile, "I think he looks great." She tugged a bit on the bottom, straightening out some wrinkles, and then said proudly, "Like a real Pawneian."
Ben beamed for a moment and then looked as though he might say something. Whatever it was, he must have thought better of it, because instead he turned around and focused his attention on the miniature horse in the ring. Leslie did the same.
"Aw! Lookkit! He's eating!" she squealed, unconsciously pressing a hand against the small of Ben's back as she pointed at the tiny horsey. She felt him jolt a little beneath her touch and when she turned to look up at him, he was looking down with a goofy kind of grin.
His eyes quickly snapped to the direction she was pointing, "Yeah, cute."
As they watched Lil' Sebastian putter around his pin a while longer, Leslie allowed her thoughts to fall on Ben Wyatt, the state auditor with the awkward, uncomfortable sort of charm, who had worked so hard to help her save city. It was the first time she'd taken a moment to accept that he'd be leaving at the end of the week and she was surprised to find herself feeling not just sad, but guilty.
She remembered how once when she'd mentioned he must be getting excited to get to finally go back home, Ben had admitted that Indianapolis 'didn't really feel like home.' And though she hadn't pushed the matter any further at the time, she'd just gotten the feeling that maybe nowhere did. Yet, Ben seemed to fit more perfectly in Pawnee than any other outsider she'd ever met. There was just something about him, something unique in same way that Pawnee was, that made her wonder if the city that had always been her home wasn't the same home he had been missing.
And when once she did, she couldn't help but think that if she'd just been less busy with the festival she might have noticed it and that if she had noticed it she would have made sure to make time to show Ben every single thing about Pawnee, and that if he had seen all of it, he would have really gotten it, and that it had really gotten it, he would have no choice but to stay.
Ben had leaned down to rest his crossed arms on top of the wooden fence and though his eyes were following the movements of the tiny horse, his pensive expression suggested his thoughts were really elsewhere.
It was one of those moments she couldn't help noticing just how easy on the eyes he actually was, only this time she didn't quickly brush it off as something completely irrelevant and inappropriate. Instead, she gave herself permission to appreciate it, as well as to appreciate how totally oblivious he must have been to it to jump at a touch from a woman who had never owned a shirt that looked wet all the time (and only once worn a metal bikini for to what turned out to be a very embarrassing third grade Halloween party).
It was at that moment that everything she'd learned in the last few months about the kind of man Ben Wyatt actually was totaled up into something so thoroughly endearing, she couldn't stop herself from admitting aloud, "I'm really going to miss you, Ben."
He looked up and seemed like he was unable to decide if he was happy or sad, surprised or confused. "Leslie, I..uh," he struggled.
She knew she had put him in an awkward situation so she decided to put the poor thing out of his misery and just get out what she needed to say and then let that be the end of it. She took a deep breath-
"Look, I know you move around a lot, and you're used to getting to know people and then having to leave and well, I won't say I'm glad about the budget cuts, or about the government being shut down all summer, or about you getting impeached, but I just want you to know that, however it happened, I'm glad you found your way to Pawnee. You made a positive impact here and we won't forget that. We won't forget you, Ben. And someday you're going to find the place that really does feel like home to you and when you do, well, they'll be lucky to have you."
The only readable emotion on Ben's face was a vague overlay of astonishment and Leslie, also surprised (having learned she had those feelings at just about the same time as Ben had), turned back to the brain-hug that was watching a miniature horse nibble on hay.
But then- a small squeeze, as Ben took her hand in her own. Startled, she looked up at him with a questioning glance.
"Here feels like home." There was a sort of forceful certainty in his voice that made her feel as though he needed her to know.
And she did know, it was a subtext she could see in across all of his effort, in how hard he'd been constantly trying, she just still wasn't sure what it meant. Nor did she know what it meant that he'd gone on holding her hand like that (and that she'd gone on letting him) until Jerry (who else?) rushed (okay, more like speed-waddled) over and pulled her away to be lost for the remainder of the day in the chaos of the festival and events.
She doesn't really get it, not yet anyway, but that night, when she returns to her house and thinks of it, she smiles.
And that night, when Ben gets back to his motel still thinking of her (and still wearing that oh-so-dorky T-shirt), he calls back the man from The City of Pawnee Human Resources Department and tells him that he'll take the job.