A/N: Okay people this is it, the last chapter. I didn't really intend to finish it in one go but somehow it came out like that. Sorry that it took me so long but I wrote like three different versions of it until it came out the way I wanted it to. So I hope you like it and I just want to say thank you for sticking with me for this and all the alerts and favourites and reviews.
When the two boys arrived at Julian's apartment it took Julian a moment to fish his keys out of his back pocket and to unlock and open the door. He strode in and shrugged out of his leather jacket only to throw it over the back of a chair.
Logan had closed the door after him and was now looking around the clean, stylish apartment.
"Doesn't really look like your style, Jules."
Julian turned back towards Logan and stared at him. This was the first time in three years that he had heard his nickname out of Logan's mouth. It had always sounded different than the way Derek would say it and this was one of the things he had been craving in the last years. Somehow hearing the name roll off of Logan's tongue so easily gave him hope. The boy had come to see him after all.
"No, because it clearly isn't. You know my mother. Everything has to look perfect. So when I told her that I'd move out she found this apartment and had it redecorated."
Logan only smiled at that.
Julian felt like an idiot standing in the middle of his own living room with Logan unsure of what would happen next. Everything seemed surreal. If anyone would have told him a week ago that he would find himself standing here with his first real love, he would have laughed at that. This wasn't like the movies he starred in. Logan who after Julian left realized his feelings and pined after Julian for years until he found him again and they'd live happily ever after. This was reality and Julian knew enough about that. It only hurt to confuse it with the movies. The silence between them felt different now. Like both knew that something was bound to happen but neither wanted to make the first step.
Julian stood fidgeting in one spot while Logan looked around the room trying to avoid Julian's gaze.
"You want something to drink? Another coffee or anything?" Julian finally asked, needing a reason to move and do something.
"I'd ask for a whiskey but it seems like you had quite the party last night." Logan smirked and pointed at the empty bottle next to the couch.
The actor shrugged and said, "Yeah that's the good thing about living on your own. Nobody cares about the state of your apartment or whether you drink the whole bottle or not. Well, except for when an old friend comes for a surprise visit."
Julian saw something in Logan's eyes when he said the word 'friend'. A mixture of hope and disappointment. He was sure that he had never seen the tall blond so unsettled. Logan had had his hard times in school but the look on his face now was unlike anything Julian had ever seen on his friend.
"I'll get myself some water you want something or not?" The brunette asked again starting to get annoyed by feeling so unsure in his own home. It was just like old times. Something about the other would agitate the other and they'd end up fighting if no one calmed down enough.
"Water is fine." Logan answered his eyes still glued to Julian's.
"Okay, just sit down, I'll be back in a minute." Julian walked into the kitchen and got two bottles of water from the fridge. He leaned his back against the fridge door after closing it and breathed in and out deeply trying to calm down. Logan was in his apartment. Logan fucking Wright was sitting in his living room waiting for him to come back out of the kitchen so they could talk things through. More exactly to talk about what had happened before Julian left Dalton for good. It was frightening.
He couldn't stall any longer and he wondered if this whole situation seemed as uncomfortable and messed up to Logan as it did to him. Well, at least Logan had had the time to prepare for this and think of what he wanted to say. Julian had simply been thrown into this. But he was an actor so he could act like this didn't faze him at all.
Taking one last deep breath Julian walked back into the living room. Logan had thrown himself into one corner of the large couch and was still looking around the room. Hadn't it been for the blond wringing his hands in his lap Julian would have thought that he looked almost relaxed.
But he was glad that even Logan was affected by everything that was still standing between them. It made Julian feel less like an idiot.
He walked casually over to the armchair opposite the couch and plopped down.
"Here you go!" he said before throwing one of the bottles over to Logan who caught it easily.
Both boys opened their respective bottle and gulped down almost half the bottle in one go. Hadn't the situation been extremely uncomfortable Julian would have found their behaviour hilarious and like out of a comedy.
He couldn't take the silence any longer.
"So what've you been up to after school?" Logan looked at Julian as if he had just offended him.
"Really Jules? That's what you wanna talk about? Stop stalling. You know exactly what I came here for or did you get rid of your memories along with my fucking phone number?" Julian could clearly see hurt in Logan's eyes but he didn't understand why. Seeing Logan like that tore at Julian's own heart. Seeing him like that was probably even harder than being rejected. All he had ever wanted was to make Logan happy.
"Lo..." he started but his voice broke. "I didn't get rid of you number... I-I-I just couldn't talk to you. It would have been too hard... Why does it matter anyway?"
He looked at Logan defiantly. Why did it feel so good and at the same time hurt like hell to see Logan? Shouldn't he have gotten over his feelings a while ago? Why couldn't they just go back to being friends? Why did Logan have to prance back into his life right now?
Logan sat up straight looking at Julian angrily.
"Why does it matter? You are such an asshole, Jules." Logan all but yelled.
There it was again. His nickname. The way Logan spat it out did something to Julian that he couldn't describe. It kind of turned him on.
"You fucking ran away. You left me standing there like an idiot. Then you don't answer any of my calls or messages until you sent that crappy text telling me you'll call. Well, still waiting for that one. Why couldn't you talk to me?" Logan's eyes bore into Julian's. The actor could see that something in the Logan he had known three years ago had changed.
"It doesn't matter. I just had to leave. Sorry for not calling but you never cared enough about anyone else but yourself for me to think that you would even notice my absence."
Logan looked at Julian dumbfounded.
"Course I'd notice Jules. You were one of my best friends and even without what happened in the foyer I would have noticed." Logan's eyes seemed to soften for a minute but hardened as he continued. "But for you to just cut me off like that... after what happened that's just low even for you, Larson!" There it was again the use of his surname.
"It doesn't seem like it matters what happened. Look at you, you can't even say out loud what happened. Bet you just ignored everything and found yourself a new boy toy as always." Julian sneered knowing full well that he was only trying to push Logan away by insulting him.
Logan suddenly stood up and took two steps forward to stand towering over Julian.
"You don't get to decide whether it mattered or not. You have no fucking clue Larson. Don't try to play the fucking victim in all this mess. You have no idea what happened after you ran away like the fucking coward you are." Logan yelled at him, fire and anger brazing in his eyes.
Julian was sure that he had never seen the blond like this. Of course Logan had had his temper in school but something was mixed into his anger now that hasn't been there before.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Larson? Why couldn't you talk to me? Was it that bad?"
Julian looked up in shock. Suddenly Logan's face was like an open book for him to read. The thing that was most prominent next to anger was hurt. Logan was hurt? But that didn't make sense at all.
"Lo... I-I what..."
"Shut up Larson I don't want to hear more of your bullshit. I want to know what happened that made you run away and cut me out of your life. I have asked myself the same fucking question every day in the past three years." Logan took a deep breath before continuing. He stepped back towards the couch and dropped onto it. "Was it me who made you stay away? Or what the fuck happened? I need something here Jules. I need to know... I... Please..." Logan hid his face in his hands and stopped talking.
Julian sat in his chair, shocked. What had just happened? Logan Wright was sitting in front of him lost for words. He looked so vulnerable with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.
The actor slowly stood up and moved over towards Logan to kneel down in front of the blond. Unsure of what to do he hesitantly put a hand on Logan's knee trying to get his attention. But Logan didn't move an inch.
"Lo... I just needed some space. I had decided to leave before... before I saw you in the foyer. I needed to get out of there. I'm sorry for not answering your calls and stuff but you don't know how hard that was."
At this Logan dropped his hands from his face and glared at the brunette kneeling in front of him. Some of the fire had returned to his eyes.
"How hard it was ignoring me? Oh I bet it was. Fuck you Larson. You can't just kiss me and then fucking leave without a word. You don't know anything."
Julian saw the hurt in Logan's eyes more clearly now. What was happening?
"Logan... I... you never cared about what I did. Why did you come to find me?"
Logan snorted.
"I came because you have been in my head every single day since that night..." He whispered.
Julian's mouth fell open. Had Logan really just said what he thought he ha? He couldn't form words. Logan had been thinking about him? No, that couldn't be true.
"Lo... what? You never even took a second glance at me... why did you think I left... I couldn't take it anymore."
Once again brown eyes met green ones. The hurt in Logan's eyes had vanished and the gaze was soft and tentative. The blond placed one of his hands over Julian's that was still lying on his knee.
"You were straight, Jules. You were straight. That's why I never saw you like that. How could I have known? You were always chasing girls or talking girls with Derek. Of course I never have looked at you like that before...before that night." Julian gasped at this revelation. Everything could have been so much easier.
The blonds head fell back down after those words. Julian was stunned into silence. The thoughts were racing through his mind. Had Logan just said that he hadn't looked at Julian before that night but afterwards he had? Did the kiss change his mind? Did he see Julian differently afterwards?
The actor didn't know what to say. Everything was just so confusing right now. Had he wasted three years of time he could have spend with Logan by running away and ignoring him? Logan had been thinking about him. Logan fucking Wright, the boy he had been in love with since freshman year had been thinking about him in the past three years. What did that mean? Was Logan here to tell him that he loves him as well? But he was at the charity event with this guy and they seemed very comfortable with each other. What did Logan really want? Throw everything back into Julian's face? Break him? Was this all some kind of sick joke?
Logan watched the emotions playing out on Julian's face. His expression turning from shocked to relief and a hopeful expression into something very different. Anger? What was going on in the actors mind?
"Jules...," Logan started but cut himself off. He slowly took his hand away from Julian's, eyes still locked on the beautiful face in front of him. Uncertain of what to do he decided that maybe it was for the best if he just left.
"I'm just gonna go, Jules. Uhm... I-I-I'm sorry. Maybe we can stay in contact or something." With this the blond stood up picked up his jacket he had thrown over the arm of the couch earlier and walked over to the door, hesitating he looked back at Julian.
The actor still hadn't moved from the spot in front of the couch.
"Jules..." Logan said his voice full of longing as he tried again to shake Julian out of his stupor. This time the brunette whipped around and his eyes found Logan's once more.
Logan held his breath as he stared at Julian's angry expression. The smaller boy stood up and strode over to where Logan who still had one hand on the door handle.
"You just come here and drop all this on me? What for Logan? You have your stupid little boy toy from the charity event so why did you tell me all this? To hurt me? Sorry you are too late for that. I have been fucking hurting every day since that night."
Julian looked at his friend with all the anger that had built up in the past years. Not only since the kiss but ever since he fell for Logan in freshman year.
"I have always been in the background. Trying to set you up with whoever you wanted. So I could leave as soon as possible to get you out of my head. But it never worked. I was in love with you. All I wanted that day three years ago was to leave Dalton and never look back. I wasn't supposed to run into you and you weren't supposed to look so vulnerable in that moment. I-I-I shouldn't have kissed you it made everything worse."
And it was the truth thinking about how it would feel to kiss Logan was one thing but actually kissing him, tasting him on his tongue was more than Julian had been able to cope with. Because then he had known what it felt like and had craved it every single day in the past years.
Logan was still silently looking at his friend waiting for him to get everything out.
"And now you come here to see me and tell me that you've been thinking about me just one day after I see you with whatever boy toy that was last night. Screw you Wright for messing with my mind again. Just leave me the fuck alone."
A second later Julian felt his back collide with the door. Logan had grasped his arms and had pushed him into it. The blond was once again towering over Julian and glaring at him. One hand placed firmly on the actor's hip and the other against his shoulder to hold him in place.
"Shut up Larson!"
With this Logan bend down and crashed his lips against Julian's. After a second Julian realized what was happening and brought his hands to Logan's hips to pull him in closer. Lips were moving against each other in heated passion. This wasn't soft and gentle, it was raw and needy. Because this was what both boys had needed. What each of them had been craving for three years.
Logan bit down on Julian's lower lip a bit too hard and the actor opened his mouth in protest which gave the blond the chance to slip his tongue into the actor's mouth. Logan brought the hand from Julian's shoulder up to his jaw line stroking his cheek with his thumb and tilted Julian's head ever so slightly upwards so he could deepen the kiss. It was all teeth and deep moans escaped both of them as their tongues battled for dominance.
Julian's hands dug into Logan's hips still trying to pull the taller boy closer. He let one hand run over Logan's back and twist into his hair. Crashing their lips even closer together. Everything around them vanished all that mattered was that Logan was kissing him. Kissing him with all that he had. Even if it was only for the moment Julian would take whatever he could get.
After what felt like an eternity and no time at all the two boys broke apart panting heavily. Logan smirked down at Julian.
"Still want me to leave?" he asked his voice hoarse and deeper than usual.
"Shut up, Wright!" Julian pulled Logan back into another passionate kiss.
Julian's hand moved from Logan's hip under the hem of his sweater, grazing over the blond's hot skin. He pushed the sweater further up as best as he could without breaking the kiss. Julian moved his other hand from the back of Logan's head against his chest to push him back a little.
They broke apart once more and Julian made quick work of pulling the sweater over Logan's head. The taller boy made quick work of the buttons on Julian's shirt and pushed it off the actors shoulders in one swift motion. Their lips crashed back together as hands were roaming each other's body. Sliding over hot skin and dipping over defined muscles.
Julian moved one hand over the toned back of Logan, feeling the muscles stretch under his skin. When Logan broke the kiss a low whimper escaped Julian but it turned into a full on moan as Logan's lips connected with his jaw line. Kissing it upwards. Julian's nails dug deep into Logan's back as the blond started nibbling on his earlobe soothing the sting from his teeth with a flick of his tongue. Hot breath was ghosting over Julian's throat as Logan made his way towards his throat and placed open mouthed kisses there. Enjoying the deep growls this action elicited from the actor.
Pushing the taller boy back, Julian looked at Logan's eyes. The pale green had turned into a darker shade laced with pure lust, want and desire. Logan wanted this just as much as Julian did. Without thinking anymore the smaller boy pushed again until Logan's knees hit the couch and was pushed down onto it. A second later Julian was straddling him. The actor wove both of his hands into Logan's blond hair and pushed his head back.
He nibbled on Logan's jaw line for a bit avoiding his mouth this time. Slowly he kissed his way down over Logan's bared throat. Down over his collarbone where he bit down harshly before licking over it. Logan was moaning unashamed by now his hands resting on Julian's hips grinding them against his own.
Julian continued his path over Logan's chest placing kisses along the way. He encircled one of Logan's nipples with his tongue before carefully biting down on it eliciting another deep moan from the blond. After giving the same treatment to the other one he kissed his way back up to crash his lips once more to Logan's. Without hesitation Logan opened his mouth to let the smaller boy in. Logan sucked on Julian's tongue and the actor let out a deep moan. Hot breath washing over Logan's lips.
With a growl Logan grabbed Julian's hips tighter and pushed the actor over to one side and rolled them over so that he was hovering over him their arousals rubbing against each other in the process. Both boys let out a deep moan. Logan moved his mouth along Julian's slender neck sucking at the spot just under his ear. Julian could feel the suction and knew that he'd have a dark hickey in the morning but he didn't care as long as it was Logan marking him.
One of Julian's hands was splayed half over Logan's lower back and half on the rough material of Logan's jeans.
Logan moved from Julian's neck lower to his nipples swirling around one of them with his tongue teasing it until Julian let out a deep moan and bucked up against him. Without hesitation the blond kissed a trail down the actor's toned stomach dipped for a second into his belly button and left more open mouthed kisses further down.
"Ohh... Lo...I.." Julian moaned loudly. Logan's head shot up and he looked at his friend with a smug smile. Julian was so beautiful at this moment and it hit Logan again how he had never seen it before that night. The actor's hands had woven once more into the blond, messy hair and he was trying to resist bucking into Logan.
With a wide smile and not taking his eyes off of Julian one of Logan's hands moved to the button of the brunette's jeans and popped it open. Julian nodded once and helped Logan to get the pants off. Before lying back down he captured Logan in another heated kiss trying to pull him back fully on top of him. But Logan had other ideas. He picked up where he had abandoned his trail down Julian's stomach and pressed wet, hot kisses just above the waistband of Julian's boxers.
Julian looked down at the beautiful blond boy who was now hovering just inches away from his almost painful arousal. "Lo..." he started again but just then Logan blew hot air over the thin material of his underwear. The actor moaned loudly needing more he bucked up trying to get some kind of friction but Logan's hands were planted firmly on his hips.
Ever so slowly the blond snaked his tongue under the waistband of his boxers and finally freed his straining erection. In one swift movement Logan had pulled his underwear of and was now placing wet kisses on Julian's hips and travelled down towards his thighs avoiding Julian's erection completely.
The slow and gentle touches were killing Julian. He needed more and he needed it so badly. He whimpered loudly. "Lo, please I need you."
The blonde looked back up at Julian and smirked. "What do you need, Jules? All you have to do is ask."
Julian whimpered again. "Lo, please.. " Lust was clouding his mind and he couldn't form a clear thought.
"Fucking say it Jules, I have been waiting for this almost three years! I need to hear it." Logan growled stopping every motion.
Julian whimpered again. "Lo, please I need your mouth on me... I need you so badly."
"See that wasn't so hard was it?" Logan smirked before returning to press kisses onto the inside of Julian's thighs. The brunette let out a whine again but it turned quickly into a loud moan when Logan's mouth closed over him. The wet heat was quickly driving Julian insane. Logan swirled his tongue around his head and licked over the slit. Julian thrust up involuntarily and Logan moved his hands to his hips to keep him down.
"Oh, Lo... please I'm gonna..." Suddenly the heat around him was gone and he opened his eyes to find Logan staring at him with a smirk.
"Lo..." before Julian could say anything else Logan crashed his lips back to his and ran his tongue over his bottom lip, begging for entrance. Without hesitation Julian opened his mouth for him. He tasted not only Logan but himself on Logan's tongue as well. It was intoxicating.
Julian ran his hand over Logan's back and down to the front of his pants where he made quick work of the button and the zipper. Pushing down the jeans was a bit more difficult with Logan lying flush against him.
"Lo, I need to feel you. Pants down, now!" He growled.
Logan just smirked at him. "Aren't we bossy today!" But he stood up anyway to take off his pants and underwear. Julian's eyes had widened. The way Logan stood there amazed him and for a second he was almost sure that he was dreaming. But then he felt the weight of Logan lying back on top of him and he knew that this was real.
Julian wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulder and pulled him closer to him. Pressing his lips back to Logan's in need. Logan shifted a bit to the side and their arousals brushed together between them and both boys broke apart from the kiss and moaned loudly.
"'Faster, Lo," Julian murmured and pressed open mouthed kisses to Logan's neck. The blond complied and started moving against Julian. Hands were roaming and breath was hot on their skin. Everything else was forgotten all that mattered was the here and now. The way their bodies seemed to fit perfectly against each other and how Logan knew exactly how to move to make Julian moan. Somehow Julian knew exactly were to kiss and where to suck to elicit the most incredible noises from the tall boy.
Julian wrapped his legs around Logan's waist pressing them even closer against each other. The friction became almost unbearable and both boys were panting heavily as Logan continued to thrust against Julian.
"Jules... So close" Logan moaned and laid his forehead against Julian's shoulder.
"Yes... Lo... " Julian sighed and pressed a kiss against Logan's cheek. One hand wandered back to Logan's head and grabbed a handful of hair pulling him up. As their eyes locked back on each other he could clearly see how he was affecting Logan. His eyes seemed so much darker with lust and passion but something else was clearly visible in them. Affection.
His other hand lay sprawled against Logan's lower back and he ever so slightly pressed down trying to pull them closer against each other.
Logan moaned loudly again and his thrusts became faster and harder.
"Jules... I'm gonna..." Julian looked deep into Logan's eyes, bathing in having his full attention for once in his life.
"Come with me Lo." He sighed and crashed his lips back to Logan's. With a few more thrusts both boys fell over the edge together, shouting out each other's names.
Logan stilled his movement after both boys had come down from their highs but they were both still breathing loudly. The blond shifted and lay down next to Julian which wasn't that easy on the narrow couch. But the smaller boy rolled onto his side so that Logan could easily lie on his back. Julian moved in closer laying his head on to Logan's chest and wrapped his arms around the taller boy's waist while Logan wrapped one arm tightly around Julian's shoulder. He lifted the other one to stroke Julian's face lovingly.
Julian smirked at the affectionate gesture.
"So you've been thinking about me?"
Logan was quiet for a moment before pressing a light kiss on Julian's hair.
"That kiss was pretty amazing, Jules. Had I known you were that good of a kisser earlier I wouldn't have overlooked you." He whispered into Julian's hair before closing his eyes.
Julian still couldn't believe that he was lying on his couch naked, wrapped around an equally naked Logan Wright. It seemed like one of those movies. So maybe sometimes life was like the movies.
"Lo?" he whispered.
"Hm...?" came the short answer from Logan.
"I love you!" Julian looked up at the blond. It felt good to finally say it out loud.
Logan opened his eyes to return the loving gaze. Pale green eyes met light brown ones and the earth seemed to stand still.
"I love you too, Jules. Please don't run away again!" There was so much longing and need in Logan's eyes that made Julian wonder just what had happened to Logan in the past years.
He pressed a chaste kiss to the other boy's lips pulled back and looked deep into his eyes.
"I won't" Julian smiled repeating the last words he had said to Logan before he had left Dalton but this time they meant a new start for them.
Logan's breath evened out and Julian felt tiredness coming over him as well. Whatever happened when they woke up didn't matter because he finally had Logan's full attention and he wouldn't ever let him go.
Julian stopped thinking and simply enjoyed the feel of Logan pressed against him as he drifted to sleep.