Blaine moved right to his car but as he started to unlock the door, he realized his hands were still trembling and he shook slightly, breathing sharply, trying to hold in the tears stinging his eyelids. He was in no state to drive. He knew better than to try to get behind the wheel when he could barely breathe normally. In frustration he shoved his keys back into his pocket and kicked the tire of the car.

He knew he couldn't go back into the party. That wasn't an option, not with Kurt there. He started walking down the familiar sidewalk, not sure where he was going, but just needing to walk. After about a five minute's walk he realized he couldn't fight the tears anymore and fell onto a park bench. He sat there and cried openly, letting the week's pent-up frustration and the anxiety he felt over the fight and losing Kurt pour out, letting the silent tears roll down his cheeks and pressing his forehead against his fists.

How could this have happened? Kurt was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. He meant everything. He was everything that ran through Blaine's mind and everything he'd ever hoped for. He made it feel like everything would be alright, made Blaine's heart feel physically lighter and warmer whenever he smiled. How had he let himself screw it up this bad? He knew he was in love with Kurt, and Kurt was in love with him, but he refused to accept it, not because, he realized, he wanted to be a good mentor or whatever crap excuse he'd come up with in the first place. He distanced himself from Kurt romantically because he was terrified of pursuing a relationship with the boy he was so in love with. He had never been anyone's boyfriend and he had no idea how to do romance right. And he couldn't mess it up with this one…not this one. While denying himself the one he truly loved, he tried to distract himself with the unattainable. Something in the back of his mind had told him it would never happen with Jeremiah, and he was ok with that. But Jeremiah was just an excuse to avoid his feelings for Kurt. And Rachel…well with Rachel, he'd been desperate for an excuse (and drunk). He needed any reason not to be with Kurt because he was petrified of trying, doing something horribly wrong, and losing him forever. Yet his attempts to avoid this ended in the same fate anyway. He wondered fleetingly why he'd been given Kurt for the time, only to lose him no matter what he did. Why couldn't he have the one he loved? Why did he have to be so afraid of love?

"Blaine?"

Blaine jumped, nearly falling off the bench, and when he regained balance he looked up and gasped again. Kurt stood a few feet away from the bench, holding a black leather jacket around himself, shivering slightly. Blaine had barely noticed the late winter/early spring chill that still hung in the night air when he'd left the house, his mind far away on the porcelain boy. He'd barely noticed anything in the instant, but now, sitting a few feet away from the boy he loved so much, everything become frighteningly clear and sharp. He remembered the tears on his face and ducked his head quickly, trying to swipe them away, but knowing it was too late to hide them. Blaine looked up to see Kurt watching him, his brow furrowed and a slight frown on his face, like he was thinking hard.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked again, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Blaine just stared, not knowing what he should say. When nothing coherent formed in his mind, he just uttered "Yea?"

"Are you alright?" Kurt asked, studying Blaine, still looking slightly confused.

"I…Yea. Yea, I'm fine," he answered, turning away.

He stared out at the deserted road and felt Kurt's gaze on him. After a moment he saw Kurt sigh move forward, moving to sit beside Blaine on the metal bench, their shoulders touching.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered after a minute.

"For what?"

"Well...I…you saved me back there. Liam was pretty wasted and if you hadn't shown up…just, thank you."

"Don't worry about it."

Another moment of silence. Kurt stared at his hands and Blaine looked out into the darkness, past the little circle of light the overhead street lamp provided.

"Why'd you do it though?" Kurt asked finally, turning to look at Blaine.

Blaine looked up, confused. What kind of a question was that? Why WOULDN'T he do it?

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you pull him off me? Why didn't you just let him?"

Blaine furrowed his brow, turning to stare into his favorite blue eyes.

"Because, Kurt. I won't let anyone do that. Not to you."

Kurt breathed in sharply, gazing back into Blaine's eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and closed it. His head tilted then, looking curiously at something on Blaine's face. He smiled slightly to himself.

"Well you're bruising up quite nicely. That's a nasty cut," he murmured, touching Blaine's chin and tilting his head up to look better at the fresh scrape on his cheek and the black blue bruise blooming under his eye. Kurt reached up and wiped a little blood off Blaine's cheek with his thumb. Blaine just watched him, trying to take in every second, realizing how much he'd missed the soft structure of Kurt's face, his exquisitely pale skin, his striking baby blues. Blaine reached up then, taking Kurt's hand from his cheek and entwining his fingers with the pale delicate ones.

Kurt froze and looked at Blaine, his mouth slightly open.

"It doesn't matter," Blaine said, referring to the beaten left half of his face. "I honestly thought I was gonna hit him even before I heard you tell him to get off."

"Why?" Kurt asked in a small voice, eyes still wide.

"Why do you think, Kurt? Why would I want to hit him when I walk over and see him practically eating your face off?"

Kurt shuddered subconsciously but watched Blaine still, confused.

Blaine sighed, closed his eyes and worked up as much courage as he could. He breathed in deeply and opened his eyes, staring intensely into Kurt's eyes.

"Kurt, I owe you an apology. I've been trying to do this for a week now, but that's not the point. The point is, I was a total asshole to you when you tried to apologize and own up to what happened. I completely shut you out and I'm so sorry. Everything I said…none of it was true. I was angry and making crap up but…Kurt, I realized something. This week, away from you, I was lonelier than ever. I missed you so much. And…and all that crap I fed you about taking things slow because I wanted to be friends…It was crap, Kurt. I…I'm…I love you. I love you, damn it. And I've been so afraid of telling you this because I'm scared to ruin this. You're everything I've ever wanted and I don't know how to a relationship at all and if I screw up….I can't lose you. I just can't stand to lose you. And I'm so scared I'll do something to ruin this and I..I love you Kurt. I just don't trust myself to love you right."

He finished, breathing slightly heavier, winded, but otherwise feeling lighter than he'd been in a week, finally speaking everything that'd been haunting him. He had finished the speech staring at his and Kurt's hands, clasped together on his knee. When Kurt said nothing, Blaine looked up, afraid of Kurt's reaction.

Kurt stared at him, his mouth slightly agape. After a moment, his mouth melted into a glorious smile and he even chuckled out loud a little. Blaine gazed at him, desperate for some response. Kurt just smiled and held Blaine's gaze, their eyes held together unbreakably.

"I trust you."

Kurt whispered, watching the other boy. Blaine gaped and suddenly, all his emotions and desires and everything flooded back into him. He watched Kurt who still smiled brightly, and his affirmation that Kurt was the only thing that mattered, everything in the world was branded into his heart again. He couldn't contain it anymore.

Not breaking their gaze, he leaned forward, and stopped suddenly, his face an inch from Kurt's.

Kurt smile had disappeared. He stared back into Blaine's eyes, his breathing picking up pace every moment.

They sat in that position, their faces centimeters apart, their hot breath mixing, staring in each other's eyes.

"W…why'd you stop?" Kurt breathed, tasting Blaine's hot breath on his lips.

"Kurt…if we're going to do this…I want to do it right. I want to do this on your terms. I only want this if you do too…"

Kurt inhaled, staring into the fiery hazel eyes. He leaned in quickly then, and pressed his lips against Blaine's.

It was glorious. Not in any way how he'd imagined their first kiss; in his mind, it had been planned for, prepared for, and there was music, beautiful music, and well, cliché as it was, fireworks. But this kiss, this unexpected, intense kiss, Blaine's eyes still stinging from his earlier tears, his cheek throbbing, the both of them shivering in the cold and silence, barely able to see in front of them with only the light of the street lamp directly overhead…it was perfect.

Blaine deepened the kiss, pressing his lips harder against Kurt's, desperate for them to be as close as possible. He reached around Kurt's shoulder and ran his fingers into the small boy's sandy hair, grabbing and holding a tangle of locks. Kurt reached up with his free hand and held Blaine's face, holding Blaine against him as they kissed faster now, more passionately.

It was everything Blaine had ever wanted. The one thing he'd always desired but denied himself, too scared to take the chance. In that moment, entwined with the boy he loved he felt nothing but happiness-pure, irrevocable happiness.

After a moment, the boys seemed to remember they need to breathe and mutually broke the kiss. Kurt slid his hand down the Blaine's shoulder as Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt's. Both shut their eyes, breathing heavily and holding each other, their breath mingling again.

"I love you." Kurt breathed.

"I love you too."

As they caught their breath, Blaine untwined his fingers from Kurt's fingers and hair and pulled the small boy into him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Kurt wrapped his arms Blaine's neck and rested his chin in Blaine's shoulder, sighing contentedly.

Blaine pressed his face into Kurt's hair, eyes shut, inhaling, breathing in his lover and realizing, for once, it had worked out perfectly. Kurt was his and he was Kurt's and they were imperfectly perfect in every way. Maybe he didn't need to be so afraid of love…maybe he could trust himself to be everything to someone…maybe he could trust himself with love.