The woman behind the counter when she saw a disheveled looking young man walk up to the counter, dragging a suitcase and carrying a backpack. She lazily blinked behind her glasses before sitting up straight, causing the already strained buttons on her blouse to tug even more since her bosom was a large one. "Hey hun, needin' a room?" she asked.

"I need a bullet to the head." Bernard muttered as he set his suitcase down before continuing, before she ask anything or just stare at him as if he'd just grown a second head, "Yes. A room please."

After showing her his I.D. he got a key to a room and made his way upstairs. Opening the door he stared at the small motel room. On the wall hung a television. By the door was a long desk of drawers. Across the room was the bed and besides it was a chair. Then there was the door which no doubt led to the bathroom and toilet. He threw his bags down onto the floor, uncaring where they landed, and made his way to the bed.

Throwing himself onto it, Bernard lay flat on his face up until he began having trouble breathing and rolled onto his side. Glancing up he saw, hanging besides the bed, was a crucifix. Sitting up quickly Bernard unhooked the cross and the sad looking skinny man with a head carrying a crown of thorns and threw him into the bedside drawer besides the Holy Bible. Slamming it shut he turned, throwing himself back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"So this is it." he said to the quiet room. "Life without my family." Bernard slowly sat up and found the television remote and turned it on. Seeing the news going on about the release of a criminal who had blown up a school and helped aid 20 prisoners to escape reminded him that there were bigger things happening in the world that wasn't related to him. He watched as a crowd of people were protesting outside the prison, and a Warden with graying brown hair stood in front of the microphone.

"Jude Doe has been cleared psychiatry tests, and has proven himself to be a strong-willed individual. Granted his past is a troubling one I believe the boy has a chance of finding his feet on the outside. He is no longer viewed as a threat to society, I cannot stress this enough. This country is about giving people a chance, and this boy deserves one more than any others."

Then it was replaced with a woman behind a desk, commenting on how Jude Doe was unavailable for comments and refused any further interviews. What followed was more boring local news, about another Scott Manor Charity Gala and all manner of fancy things. Bernard got off of his bed and began hanging his things in the room's closet. Tomorrow he'd have to start looking for more permanent accommodation. Just a one bedroom place would be enough for him, somewhere in the city so he could use public transport without leaving his car out on the city streets for anyone to walk up to and scratch a rude side into the door, or hood.

Once he was unpacked and ready for bed Bernard climbed in under the sheets and sat there. The television was now showing some adult cartoon show, so he picked up the remote and turned it off before sliding his glasses off and set them on the bedside table. Shifting down so he was laying flat, Bernard shut his eyes.

But he awoke not two hours later, a nightmare having felt so real and horrifying it had startled him awake with a loud shout. For a brief second he didn't know where he was, since his bedroom door wasn't normally there, and the window wasn't there it was meant to be over there...! Then he remembered. His father yelling. His mother crying. His sister begging. His brother hiding. He hitched a breath and let out a short cry before covering his mouth.

"No, no." he told himself. "No."

He forced himself to lay back down and keep his eyes shut, to clear his mind of his family, and to focus on work tomorrow. Seth will be there. He could tell him about how he had moved out of home. Nothing about coming out to his parents. That wasn't his business. Then again Seth was pretty smart he'd probably pick up on what it all meant... and then maybe Seth will offer up a celebration for him moving out? That would be so like him. He smiled faintly at the memory of the pool, and Seth's hand caressing his cheek as they kissed in the warm water.

Focus on the good things. That's what he had to do.

~*~

"You moved out?" Seth asked, once Bernard had told him so at morning coffee on Monday morning. "Wow, really?"

"Hm." Bernard nodded as he blew on his coffee to cool it. "I felt it was time."

"Did you come out to them?" he asked, raising both eyebrows. "Nobody makes a grand exit so smoothly so quickly."

Bernard bit at his bottom lip a moment. "I did."

"Didn't go great huh."

"Understatement of the century. So I'm out on my own." Bernard shrugged, "So now I'm looking for a place."

"You're certainly handling it well." Seth commented, "I got a friend who was kicked out of home and she was a mess for weeks."

Bernard looked away, then back to Seth. "Different people different reactions."

"And she had her girlfriend with her! Did you do it alone?" Seth almost sounded impressed.

"Yes." Bernard blinked. "I tend to do things alone. Coming out to my family was just another thing to do alone."

"Wow. You got balls, Bernard. I'll tell ya that much." Seth whistled.

He resisted the urge to remind Seth just how he should know how big his balls were but chose not to. Hardly appropriate conversation for work.

"This deserves a party!" Seth announced, lifting his hands in the air. "What do you say? Party my place, Friday?"

"I'm not going to be offered drugs again am I?" Bernard asked flatly.

"No, no. I told Jason off about that. I told him you don't do that crap and to stop doing it at my place. Last thing I need is my folks finding a joint down a couch cushion when they get home." laughed Seth, "God my Dad would freak."

"Freak out of the century?" Bernard asked.

"Nah I think that goes to your dad." Seth replied before leaning in and wrapped an arm around Bernard's shoulders, surprising the young man. "Don't worry. Long as you keep your head on straight and your mind clear, you'll do fine. You're a strong guy, Bernard. You'll have to be."

"Thanks..." Bernard mumbled before giving the man a small, if gracious smile. Seth smiled but let him go before Bernard could move in to, I don't know. Maybe kiss him? Even now he wasn't sure what he had been intending to do.

"Back to the grind." Seth sighed before walking off, "But remember, party. My place. Friday. Be there or be square!"

"But it's hip to be a square." Bernard replied, and felt a little hopeful when Seth laughed at the corny joke. Making his way back to his desk Bernard sat and positioned his ear piece into place and got down to work again. But he stopped, since there was something on his computer that hadn't been there before. A small box. "Huh?" he reached and picked it up, and gingerly shook it near his ear. Something inside rattled. So he unwrapped the paper and couldn't help but smile widely at what he had been given.

A small red rooster.

"Don't need to ask who you came from." he said to the rooster as he set him in front of his monitor. Bernard tapped the small rooster on the head and chuckled. Good ole' Seth. How'd he find this thing? Had he gone out and bought it for him on Sunday? Wow. His first gift from a guy. He'd have to remember this.

And he did. All throughout the rest of the week while he worked, and when he would search for an apartment for himself, Bernard would often look at the rooster to just admire it as it stood there, wings slightly out and head arched; caught mid-caw to announce the start of the day. Friday was fast approaching, and the anxiety he had felt last time he'd been invited to a party had ebbed away.

But the numb shock and loss of his parents and family did not ebb away. It was always there, at the back of his mind. Niggling, nagging. Metro City was a big city sure, and he would never just 'bump' into them but what if he did? His father had made it clear to him he didn't want a thing to do with him, the same as Michael. His mother and sister though... and the rest of his extended family. They were more widely spread but Metro City was their city, and no doubt they all knew he had been kicked out of home by now. Unless his father had lied and told them he had died in a horrible shark jumping accident.

Or something like it.

Once he'd had an idea of driving past the house, and he had even gotten into his car before he reminded himself that no, he shouldn't do this. Things were laid out in black and white. He wasn't their son anymore. He was a stranger. At night, when he would think about this, he would get that sick feeling in his stomach. He never threw up but the urge was strong. Was this being strong, or weak? A truly strong individual wouldn't be feeling this sick, especially home sick. He had hated it there so why was he missing it all?

"Familiarity." he whispered to himself in the dark before rolling over and shutting his eyes. "Nothing more nothing less."

The next morning as he was heading to work the woman behind the counter, Sally, called him over.

"You doin' all right there hon? You working?" she asked.

"No. I'm flying around the world on my magic carpet of dreams." Bernard replied dryly.

She laughed, though it hadn't meant to be seen as a joke. "You're funny!"

"I try." he sighed.

"Really now hon, you got no home?" Sally asked.

"Not now. I'm looking." Bernard shrugged but then gave a surprised sound since the woman's long nailed hand suddenly trailed down his chest.

"More than welcome to come by my place, hon." she purred.

Bernard took a good step back, eyes wide. "I'm gay." he told her straight up, utterly creeped out that a woman older than his mother would actually hit on him like that.

"Gay?" she asked, "What, you kissed a girl 'n didn't like it?"

"No," he started.

"So how do you know you're gay then? Maybe you just ain't found the right woman to set you straight." she smiled and actually licked her lips at him. Bernard felt like he was going to throw up.

"I. I don't want to be set straight. Thank you. I'm quite fine. I'm fine. I'm going to work now. Good bye." and he walked out, quickly, not even bothering to turn back at all even once he was in the safety of his car. "oh my God." Bernard said to himself as he drove through the traffic. "Set me straight? How old is she? Ugghhhh. Oh god. Jesus tap dancing Christ no."

He arrived to work and jumped straight into his cubicle, fastening his head piece into place and started answering questions and tried his best to forget the image of that woman and what she might have done to him. It wasn't easy. It was like a nightmare, but one you couldn't properly wake from. Groaning he shuddered and hung up after one more call and rubbed at his face.

"You all right Bernard?" Seth asked as he approached his friend, leaning over slightly. "You look like you're going to throw up."

"The receptionist at my motel hit on me." he said quietly.

"Is he cute?" Seth grinned.

"She is fifty years old and her tits are as fake as Barbie's." Bernard groaned. "She said because I've never been with a girl I haven't found the right one to set me straight."

Seth erupted into pleas of laughter, clapping his hands together. Bernard failed to see the humor in it, so he just glared at him until Seth stopped, and wiped at his eyes. "Oh Jesus that is hilarious. You need to find a new hotel before she starts going through your stuff."

"She'd do that?" Bernard's eyes widened.

"What's stopping her? She might be doing stuff on your bed right now." grinned Seth. He watched as Bernard's face paled then chuckled and nudged him with his fist. "Calm down I'm kidding. But you should find a place. How's the hunt going?"

"I'm going to see a few places this weekend." he replied quietly.

"Well you surely haven't forgotten the party tonight right?" Seth asked with a smile.

"Course not. It's been what I've been looking forward to all week." Bernard admitted, "Are there going to be a lot of people there?"

"Not really." Seth said.

"How many?" Bernard asked.

Seth gave him a look.

"...just me?" it took Bernard a moment to ask.

"Yeah. That all right? I mean I can ask a few other guys around if you want? I just saw how uncomfortable you were with all the drinking and stuff the guys were doing last time." Seth admitted.

Bernard found this very... nice. Touching. To think he had noticed that, and had decided to throw a private party for him. Maybe they could go in the pool again? He liked the pool. He had good memories of the pool. Flushing faintly he gave a small smile. "No I'm fine with that."

"Awesome. Catch you there." Seth said with a grin before heading off back to his own desk, having used his break up seeing Bernard.

Sitting there alone, Bernard turned to stare at his computer blankly for a moment. Oh God. Just him and Seth. They could watch a movie. Maybe go swimming. Kiss a little more. His body shivered in excitement before he told himself to calm the Hell down; Seth wasn't after a boyfriend. He himself wasn't sure if he needed one yet. Did he? He was feeling awfully lonely, which was a shock to him. He'd never felt alone again. Then again, he'd never been without his family before. Only now, out in the world without them around to pester and love him in their weird little ways, did he realize how alone he could feel.

Cruel irony.