Blackbird, a glee fanfic

A/N: This is the first piece of creative writing I've done in about four years, so sorry if it sucks! I realize the characters are probably a little OOC cause I'm still getting used to writing with characters that aren't my own. Which leads me to my disclaimer: I don't own Glee, any of the characters, or the song "Blackbird." If I owned Glee the Warblers would be on for all of season three and if I owned Blackbird I would be a Beatle. Which I'm not. So. Yeah.

I hope you enjoy this, and please review! I need feedback if I'm gonna keep writing (:

Blaine was lying on the floor of his bedroom, books spread out in front of him, attempting (and failing) to study for his Calculus test the next day, when he heard his phone buzz. He smiled, knowing it was probably Kurt, and reached up to grab his phone from the bed.

Kurt: Can you come over?

Blaine frowned. Kurt's texts were usually much more conversational and to be honest, flirty, than a simple "come over"… was something wrong?

Blaine: Sure, you ok?

Kurt replied with lightning speed.

Kurt: Pavarotti died.

Blaine: Are you sure? I mean last time was a false alarm…

Kurt: Positive.

At this, Blaine got up, shoved his books aside, and quickly changed out of his Dalton uniform. He knew how much the bird meant to Kurt (even though he's pretty sure Kurt took the bird more seriously than even the council intended), and he knew the boy would be upset if something was actually wrong. Blaine grabbed his keys and made the normally thirty minute drive to Kurt's house in just under twenty minutes. When he pulled in the driveway he saw Kurt sitting outside on the porch, listening to his iPod and, he supposed, just waiting for him.

"Hey! So what's up with Pav?" Blaine smiled as he greeted his best friend.

Kurt pulled his headphones out of his ears but didn't return Blaine's smile. "He's dead. And no, it's not a false alarm this time, I checked. Dead. I – I killed him. The one thing the Warblers trusted me with and I… I know it's just a bird, but… I don't know, I just became attached to him. It's dumb. And stupid. I don't know why I asked you to come over here. I'm sorry…" Kurt looked away from Blaine, obviously trying so hard to hold back any sign of emotion.

"Hey. First of all, you're not stupid for calling me. I cried for days when my dog died a few years ago, so I know how it feels to lose a pet. And second, yeah,the council makes a huge deal about the bird, but what they don't tell you is that our little warbler does die occasionally. I mean, he's not immortal. We just always buy a new bird and name it Pavarotti so… it's kind of like he lives on, just in the body of another bird? I don't know, it's all symbolic, but Wes and David won't care. I promise." Blaine assured Kurt, trying to let him know that it really was nothing to beat himself up about.

Kurt didn't seem to look any happier about it, so Blaine added, "And hey, if you want to… why don't we give Pavarotti a proper burial? I mean, that's what people usually do for dogs and cats, right? Pav's really no different…"

Kurt put a sad smile on his face and nodded his head.

"That's kind of what I was thinking. Meet me in the backyard. I'll go get him."

Blaine walked around the side of the house and waited for Kurt to meet him in the back. As he waited, Blaine tried to imagine just exactly how much Pavarotti probably meant to Kurt. Kurt had admitted to Blaine pretty easily that Blaine was the only one he could talk to about anything, so Blaine figured Pavarotti was probably some sort of emotional outlet for Kurt when Blaine wasn't around.

And maybe an emotional outlet for things that involved Blaine.

Blaine mentally shook himself. Now wasn't the time to consider his – whatever it was – relationship, friendship, whatever… with Kurt. It was getting more confusing and difficult by the day to put a label on what exactly the two boys were, but for now, they were still in that maddening realm of "just friends." Though Blaine was fairly positive they were closer and more stable than some of the couples Kurt talked about in New Directions... but still.

Kurt walked out of the house just in time to halt Blaine's inner conflict. Blaine walked over to the boy who was now holding a blue box, with Pavarotti inside of it.

"Is he - " Blaine started.

"Yeah, he's in here. I guess we should bury him… there's a little garden by that fence that we never use anymore," Kurt said as he pointed to the side of the yard. "I figured we could bury him there?"

Blaine nodded and let Kurt lead the way to the side of the yard. Kurt pulled up a small hand shovel that had been stuck straight up in the yard for Grilled Cheesus knows how long, considering no one in the family ever took up gardening again after the death of Kurt's mother.

As Kurt began digging a perfect hole for Pavarotti's box, Blaine searched his mind for the perfect song. People sang at funerals, right? So didn't Pavarotti deserve a song?

He let Kurt get started on digging the hole while searching for the perfect song – then it hit him, and he slowly, softly began singing the words.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Kurt finished digging the hole and gently placed Pav's box in it, then stepped back for a moment.

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

He then slowly shoveled the dirt back on top of the box, then stepped away from the bird's place of rest and softly joined his voice with Blaine's.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blaine looked over at Kurt and saw a single tear run down his cheek. He grabbed his best friend's hand and held on tight, pulling him a little closer. Kurt smiled weakly at him and finished the song on his own.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

They stood there for a few moments in silence; then Kurt gently pulled away from Blaine's hand and went to sit under a tree a few feet away. Blaine let him have a minute alone, then walked over and sat down next to him. He looked over at the beautiful boy sitting next to him and saw the look of sadness hadn't lessened – if anything, it had gotten worse.

"Kurt, are you okay?"

Blaine knew he was still upset about the death of Pavarotti - they had, after all, just buried him moments ago - but there was something more in Kurt's face. Blaine knew his face, could read him pretty well, and he knew Kurt was hiding something. And Kurt knew that Blaine could read him pretty much like a book, so he stood up and took a few steps away from Blaine before turning around, staring at the ground in front of Blaine, and saying:

"Look Blaine, I really don't know how to tell you this, and I actually was going to wait to tell you until the last possible minute but – I'm going back to McKinley. Next week."

Kurt finally made eye contact with Blaine, Blaine just looked at Kurt with a sort of sad smile and said simply, "I know."

Kurt threw him a look of confusion, but held eye contact this time. "What? How do you know? I haven't told anyone yet except my dad and Carol."

Blaine got up and walked over to Kurt "I just mean, I knew it was going to happen eventually. I knew you couldn't handle Dalton forever…"

"What do you mean, I couldn't handle it?" Kurt replied, looking slightly miffed.

Blaine laughed, "Oh no, Kurt, that came out wrong… Dalton is just… it's a place that changes you. Conforms you. Expects you to be like everybody else. And you – you're not like everybody else. You're proud of who you are, and you don't change for anyone. And I've seen you trying so, so hard to fit in and to just be a perfect little cookie-cutter student like the rest of the students but - "

"It's just not who I am," Kurt finished for him.

"Exactly."

The two boys looked at each other for a long moment; then Blaine stepped forward and brought Kurt closer to him and wrapped him in the tightest hug either boy had ever given. They didn't care that they were standing a little too close, that they were holding onto each other a little too tight, or that their hearts were racing just a little too fast, for a pair that claimed to be "just friends." They just held each other close as feelings and emotions flowed through the contact of their separate, yet somehow deeply connected, entities.

Finally Kurt pulled away.

"I'm going to miss you, Blaine. A lot. And I really don't want to have to say goodbye to you. I mean the rest of the Warblers are great, and I'm going to miss them but - " Kurt faintly blushed and stopped midsentence, as he finally caught Blaine staring at him.

"You don't have to say goodbye to me Kurt… sure, you'll be at a different school, but we can make this work. I mean look at Wes and David, they have girlfriends that go to different schools - " Blaine stopped as he realized what he was implying, " – and, uh, yeah - "

"Blaine." Kurt took a step toward the boy.

"Sorry, sorry, that came out wrong, I wasn't trying to imply anything I just really want - "

Kurt took another step towards Blaine, who proceeded to go off on some tangent about wanting to stay close friends, and he was saying that he didn't mean anything by the "girlfriend" comment, and that he was fine with their friendship being what it was (which both Kurt and Blaine knew was a lie, they just hadn't had the balls yet to act on it)… and Kurt didn't know what else he was saying, because he quit paying attention to the words coming out of that boy's mouth and just stared into his perfect eyes as he moved closer to him.

"Blaine. Seriously."

"I just - "

Kurt took another step forward and suddenly Blaine was all too aware of the face that had somehow come within mere millimeters of his own. All he could see was Kurt's face, the face of the boy he had been denying feelings for since basically the day they met. All he could feel was his heart suddenly beating too fast and his breath hitching when he made eye contact with Kurt. And all of a sudden Kurt's face was moving closer and holy sweet hell he was kissing Kurt and Kurt's hands were in his hair and Blaine was pulling Kurt closer and closer and nothing he had ever done before in his life had felt so right, so pure, so entirely perfect.

All too soon Kurt pulled away and searched Blaine's face.

"Was that – was that okay?"

Blaine just laughed softly. "Well it was much nicer than you telling me to shut up, which would have been the only other way to get me to stop babbling on forever."

He pulled Kurt into another hug, and this time they were aware that they were standing too close, and holding on too tight, and letting their hearts race too far out of control, for a pair that was "just friends." Because they weren't that anymore. Because people who are "just friends" don't pull away from a hug and pull your face to theirs and kiss you like there's nothing they'd rather be doing in the entire world.

Friends? Yes. Best friends, even? Of course. But that's no longer all they were.