No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem

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Part Twelve: Benny

[Author's Notes: Well, I finished up the most recent chapter of Gone Wylde, so I'm celebrating a little with another installment of the weirdness that is Benny's Breakfast House. Some of you have been asking about Benny himself. Some of you, as a result, may be interested in what goes on here, then.]

Standard Disclaimer: The Teen Titans are a wholly-owned subsidiary of DC Comics, Inc., and Warner Brothers (last I heard). Any connection between them and this story is purely illusory and should not be construed as canon in any way. The only remuneration the author gets for this work is in the form of reviews, for which he holds his readers in the deepest gratitude.

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{Wednesday, 8:20am}

Garfield Logan stopped a couple of meters inside Benny's Breakfast House and made a 'come here, please' motion with a crooked finger. "Don't be such a fraidy-cat, O Fearless Leader! He ain't here. I told ya, he never comes here on Wednesday morning."

Robin strode past his green teammate with a supercilious glance. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Beast Boy."

"Sure ya do! Ol' Slade. That's why you didn't come with us when we met up with Jericho last week."

Robin gave him a stiff stare, but didn't press the issue. Madge came up to them at that point.

"Hey, boys! Just two this mornin'?"

Gar shook his head. "Nah, there's a couple more oughta show up pretty soon." He peered around at the nearly-full café. "Man, you guys are stuffed today!"

Madge jerked a thumb at the small blackboard set up by the door. "Wednesday special: all ya can eat tall stacks, just five bucks."

Both boys' eyes sparked at that bit of information. Gar rubbed his hands together. "Man, oh, man, is Cy gonna be stoked about that!" He turned hopeful puppy-eyes on Madge. "Is it really all you can eat? Like, with no limit?"

"Far as I know. Benny put the sign up, and he's pretty good about sticking to the letter of the ads." A chuckle escaped before she added, "If he wasn't counting on teenage-boy-hero appetites, he'll just have to suck it up, won't he?"

At that point, Cyborg and Kid Flash pulled up outside in the T-Car. Gar ran out to them, waving his arms and chattering a mile a minute. After a few seconds, the newcomers' faces lit up with glee and they followed the animated shape-shifter back inside at a trot.

Madge scared up a table that would hold them all – putting Cyborg on the side away from traffic – and noted which kinds of pancakes each hero wanted. She pointed first at Gar. "You want the tofu-buckwheat-sesame pancakes with real maple syrup, am I right?"

"Yes, ma'am, an' keep 'em comin'!"

Turning her eye to Kid Flash, she said, "Blueberry with whipped cream and fresh strawberries on top?"

"Whoa! How'd you know?"

"You just looked like you wanted that." To Robin she said, "And you look like a banana-pecan man to me."

He considered her suggestion, smiled, and nodded. "And if you have butter-pecan syrup …"

"You got it."

"Thanks, Madge."

"Aaaaand, Cyborg. You've liked everything we've ever served you – hah! Except for that glop you made up for your little contest."

"Hey, I didn't make it up! That was …"

Kid Flash laid a hand on his arm. "Can we please not talk about that night? Please? Like, ever?"

"Yeah, okay. Wasn't much fun for anybody." He and Wally both shot dirty looks at Beast Boy, who gave them a superior smirk in return. "Well, almost anybody."

Gar held up his hands. "Hey, not my fault if you couldn't 'stomach' the situation."

Wally groaned, "I did say please, Beast Boy."

"Sorry, sorry! But he handed me such a perfect straight line …"

Quickly, the speedster banged on the table. "Cyborg! Tell the nice lady what you wanna eat!"

Grinning, he glanced up at Madge. "Whole wheat with wheat berries, and that awesome spiced-apple thing you do on top."

"You want it with whipped cream and the caramel drizzle?"

"Yes, ma'am! All the way!"

"Sounds good. Now … whatcha want ta drink?"

After she took their orders and left, the four young men immediately fell into an animated discussion of the soon-to-be-released crossover game, Mega-Monkeys XII: Urban Invasion.

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The steady stream of customers created a steady stream of work for the bus-staff. Benny had three on the payroll at present, two high-school-age boys in addition to 'Leah Featherstone', and one or more of them could always be seen in the background, gathering used plates and flatware or wiping down the tables. They were as ubiquitous as the rest of the furniture, and typically garnered about as much attention.

'Leah' made a point of staying as far away from the table full of teenage heroes as she could manage. That wasn't too hard since one of her coworkers, a thin mousey-haired kid named Jim, was star-struck nearly blind by the presence of the Titans. He did everything he could to wangle work near their table, and 'Leah' was more than happy to oblige. The other busboy, Mike, was taller, had longish dark hair and blue eyes, and didn't talk much.

However, Fate (as has been observed more than once) is a witty little bitch, and just loves to use coincidence to muddy the waters. Case in point …

The hero-boys were into their third set of tall-stacks (fifth in Vic's case) when, in the space of twenty-five seconds, the patrons at all three of the tables adjacent to theirs got up to leave, and Jinx and Raven walked in the door. That left 'Leah' no way out of working right beside the Titans. Her hair was put up in a snood to keep it out of her way, which she figured would help to disguise her since she'd never worn it any way but loose during her sojourn as one of the team. She hoped against hope that none of the boys would be willing to leave off their feast in order to study her.

Hopes, however, frequently die a quick and painful death. She knew Raven had seen her, but the stoic girl was studiously not looking her way, for which she sent her silent thanks. Jinx, on the other hand, grinned widely and bounced over to the boys' table. She gave Cyborg's head a quick scratch and said, "Hey, Stone! Whatcha know good?"

###

They were all too preoccupied to notice when a tall, muscular blonde man came in the front door, glanced around the busy café, and strode purposefully over to the bar.

###

Victor glanced rapidly between Robin, Jinx and Raven (who had come up more slowly to stand behind her girlfriend). The demi-demon, characteristically, evinced no reaction either way; Robin's face, on the other hand, darkened noticeably. Victor finished chewing his bite, took a quick swig from the extra-large glass of milk in front of him, and said, "Ah … heh … h-hi, Pinky. Just … y'know … havin' some breakfast."

"Well, hey, you eatin' breakfast makes sense, this bein' Benny's Breakfast House, an' all." The girls were in civvies: Raven was togged up in her lavender sweat-suit and a black beret, while Jinx sported black leather pants and a white hoodie, thrown back to show off her long, luxurious, pink hair which made a sizable puddle in her hood. They wore identical ankle-boots of soft gray suede.

Turning his angry glare from the smirking villainess to his at-least-temporarily-ex-teammate, Robin drew in a long breath and opened his mouth. But Gar laid a cautioning hand on his arm and cleared his throat, causing the boy to whip around Gar's way. The changeling soberly shook his head and said, "We talked about this." Caught slightly off-guard by the move, Robin swallowed, nodded slowly, and turned his attention back to his pancakes, ignoring the girls as if they weren't there.

###

The tall, blonde man caught Madge's eye and nodded once toward the door to the kitchen. A perturbed expression dominating her face, she hurried into the back.

###

Gar cast an apologetic look in Raven's direction and gave her a 'what can you do?' shrug. Her lips tightened slightly, but no other response disturbed her calm.

Jinx let it all slide off of her like water off a Teflon duck. She gave him a wink, blew Robin a kiss (which took his face from Enhanced Alert, or light pink, to DefCon2, or deep red) and led Raven over to an empty table-for-two.

His teeth grinding ominously, Robin gritted out, "I'm gonna find out what that pink bitch is up to if it's the last thing I do."

Kid Flash, who had notably taken no part whatsoever in these interactions, said, "She's just bein' Jinx, Rob. She can't be anything else. I should know."

###

Jim the Busboy finished his table and carried his tub full of dishes back to the kitchen. He passed very close to the blonde man. As he entered through the wide swinging doors, Benny came out.

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Masked eyes turned Gar's way, the glare dialed up to 'thermonuclear' level. He spat out, "Being herself? By putting the team's future at risk? Trying to break up the Titans? She stole Raven. Stole her! It's the biggest coup a thief could ever dream of!"

'Leah' overheard every word, and bit her lip in frustration. She'd seen firsthand how happy the dark Titan was with her cotton-candy squeeze, and felt quite sure that no thievery had taken place. It was all mutual. She tried to concentrate on gathering up the dishes without dropping anything.

###

Benny slowly walked over behind the bar to stand opposite the blonde man, who merely watched him with a knowing grin. The restaurateur crossed his arms, looking none too happy.

###

With a placating gesture, Kid Flash tried to calm Robin down a little. "I know how it might look to you, Rob, but if you'll remember, she didn't want to quit the team. That was your ultimatum. And even then she still shows up whenever you guys have to do battle with some kooky criminal."

"But she doesn't participate! She just … just hangs around!"

"Didn't she keep you from getting stuck with a bunch o' shrapnel a few days ago?"

Robin crossed his arms and sank slightly in his seat.

###

The blonde man said, "Hale and well met, Haniel."

"Raguel," Benny's response was couched in rather sour tones. "One might ponder what business you have here?"

"Oh, you know," he said in an off-hand manner, looking around the café with interest, "just checking out how your little experiment is going."

"As you can see, it is doing quite well. Thank you for asking." But the thanks in his voice was razor-thin.

###

'Leah' hurriedly placed all the dishes in her tub, set it on one of the chairs, and wiped down the table as quickly as she could while doing a passable job.

"And she healed me, remember?" added Gar, helpfully (he thought). "When that giant rabbit of Mumbo's clobbered me? I had a broke arm." He waved the limb in question in front of Robin's face. "It ain't broke now!"

###

Raguel nodded. "Yes, well, that is as may be. You know how the Higher Ups can be mad for detail, especially Michael. And you have not filed any reports in over a month."

"That is because, as I just mentioned, everything is working smoothly. We have had no incidents here that I could not defuse. And the dialog coefficient is up sixty-eight percent. Why only last Sunday …"

###

Redirecting his ire at Beast Boy, Robin suddenly stood and flung his arms wide, about to launch into a rant, when the back of his right hand smacked straight into 'Leah's' tub. It went flying, and she let go with a loud gasp.

Time seemed to be interested enough to slow down and watch the mini-disaster unfold.

There were six plates, four serving platters, and eight small dishes of various design in the tub, along with all the accompanying flatware, eight glasses, and nearly two dozen used paper napkins, not to mention quite a few bits of uneaten food. As soon as it left her hands, the tub began a slow rotation that would help to launch its contents toward a nearby table. Two elderly ladies, who were mostly deaf and had missed the foregoing action, were sharing pictures of their brand new grandchildren, blissfully unware of the porcelain doom headed their way. Robin, who realized what he'd done, instantly spun and reached, trying to catch the tub before it ejected its payload; he could see he would be too late, and opened his mouth to warn the unwitting targets. Beast Boy launched himself toward the path described by the falling mess, but knew also that he would not be in time to stop it. That didn't stop him from trying, though. 'Leah', for her part, was frozen in shock from several angles. There was no earth ready to hand for her to exercise her will upon, and even if there had been, she wasn't sure she should. But the ladies might be hurt! But then the Titans would see her, and maybe recognize her! But if she didn't do something Benny might get mad! But …

Indecision is a killer.

However … the plates seemingly vanished in mid-flight, along with all the other projectile detritus that might have ruined the ladies' day. And then Kid Flash was standing in front of 'Leah', holding the tub out to her. "Here ya go, miss." Casting a reproving glance at Robin, who was still in the process of regaining his balance, he added, "Please excuse my friend. He's having an off day."

Beast Boy stepped up to her. "Are you okay? He didn't hit you, did he?"

With the eyes of all four Titans on her now, 'Leah' went into full-out panic mode. Pupils dilating, she began to shiver and nearly dropped the tub again. This time it was Gar that caught it for her. "Heh! Better let me carry this back for you." He shot Robin a severe look as he ushered the girl toward the kitchen, balancing the tub in one hand. "You probably ought to go … uh, go sit …" He sniffed the air. Then he turned fully toward her, his eyes narrowing.

###

Raguel held up a finger. The noises in the café ceased. Diners paused, forks lifted halfway to mouth, or in the middle of a swallow. No one moved. No one could. He glanced at Haniel. "That is one we have been keeping an eye on."

"Terra? So have I." He indicated the time-stopped diner and inquired, "Is there any particular reason for this, ah, over-reaction? You must realize that Garfield Logan already knows that she is alive and free of her stone prison."

"True, true. But her importance in the upcoming Conjunction cannot be overstated. It would not do for her to panic and flee."

"She will not. She has been befriended by Trigon's daughter. That one will see to her safety, both physical and spiritual."

"Indeed? That is excellent news! With tidings of such glad import, why did you not feel it needful to report?"

"Primarily because I know what I am doing and I would very much appreciate it if Michael were to realize this fact. He does not need to micro-manage my experiment."

"Ah-hah! I see … well, you know how he is. The military will do that to you."

"Be that as it may, I do not need my hand held." He nodded toward Terra. "Nor does she. She is more resilient than you know."

"I am pleased to hear that." With the slightest exercise of will, he re-started time …

###

Beast Boy leaned in closer and looked the frightened girl in her eyes, obviously not believing his own. He licked his lips and whispered, "Terra?"

She took a step back … and bumped into Raven. The dark girl placed a protective hand on Terra's shoulder, sent Gar an irritated look, and said, "Are you just going to stand there like a stump, holding that tub?"

He blinked, startled, and glanced down at the gray plastic container full of dishes. When he glanced back up, they were gone. He whirled around a few times, looking for them, and settled his gaze on Benny, who was leaning on the bar, watching him with some interest.

Walking his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other, the café owner nodded at the tub. "You plannin' t' take that t' th' kitchen?"

"… uh …"

Tapping the bar, Benny said, "Just leave it here. I'll get it. You don't know your way around back there anyhow."

Blinking in confusion, Beast Boy did as suggested. Then he just stood there, perplexed. "Did … did you, uh …"

"Yeah?"

"Did you see a girl here?"

"Well … Leah was here. She buses tables. But she wasn' feelin' too good, and left with a friend."

"… Oh. Right." He shook his head and rubbed the side of his neck, brow furrowed as he tried to remember … something. "Yeah. Guess that was it."

"Did ya need any more pancakes?"

"Huh?" He brightened then. "Oh! Yeah! Pancakes." Looking back over at their table, he could see the other three boys had sat and were shoveling away, his own plate lying forlornly empty. "Yeah, more pancakes! That's it."

"I'll let Madge know."

"Cool! Thanks, man!"

"No problem." And Benny hefted the tub under one arm and clomped back to the kitchen.

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[Author's Note: Now, is anyone still curious as to how Benny can do all the things he did? Heh.]