Author's Note: Written between the first and second quartets, so will be AU from after Briar's Book. This is in the process of being revised, chapter by chapter.

Lady Sandrilene fa Toren fingered the well-worn strip of thread with four equally-spaced flubs. It was now the only connection she had with her past—a connection she often fingered, but never used. Ever since the Breaks, as she referred to them in her mind, she preferred not to think about her old life or her old friends. Remembering meant only pain.

As she traced the different colors splayed across the thread, words formed on her lips—Tris … Briar … Daja … herself—and whispered messages to each. Oh Tris … you were right after all. I should have listened to you from the beginning. Briar … it started so suddenly. We started to take sides … and I chose the wrong one. Daja … I'm sorry we dragged you into it … if only I had listened to you. As for myself … I was so silly and so naive.

It had started so simply. Sandry had met a young mage. He was a prestigious one, embarking on a path to achieve great power. Torero, his name had been. He had said it meant Truth. How ... ironic. He had been handsome and charming; his golden-blonde curls and blue-green eyes had made her weak-kneed. When she first saw him, her stomach had fluttered. It wasn't hard to fall for him, hook, line, and sinker.

Oh, she had been silly with longing, had fallen in love with the idea of being in love. That was back when Daja and Kirel had begun walking around, holding hands. Somehow, Sandry had missed the whole flirtation process, only noticed when the handholding began. And each time she saw them, she felt a pang of jealousy. She had examined that pang, and realized something. She wasn't jealous of Daja because she liked Kirel, nor was she jealous of Kirel because she liked Daja.

What she envied was what they had. She may have been young and foolish, but she wanted someone to love, to kiss, and to hold. And Torero had been ... there.

Tris had been the first to have misgivings. Tris mentioned a bad feeling about Torero. "I just can't find it in myself to trust him," had been her exact words. And Sandry, blind with what she thought was love, had declared that Tris was only jealous. This had left to a rift of sorts, and Tris and Sandry soon began having more and more fights, most of which were centered around Torero. And then.

Flashback

"I told you, I don't trust him!"

"Tris, don't you think you're being rather unreasonable?"

"I'm being unreasonable? Do you seriously consider your precious Torero more trustworthy than me?"

"Oh, Tris, you're just being silly-"

"Silly? I'll give you silly! I must have been silly, to think that the friendships forged by necessity would last! I've had enough of you! And this damned Circle, too!"

And then, somehow, Tris managed to wrench herself from the Circle. Where Tris had once been in Sandry's mind, there was now nothing. Tris stumbled a bit from the shock, but then she turned and she left.

Sandry never saw her again.

End Flashback

The pain at losing Tris almost brought her out from underneath Torero's spell (for she would not have fought with Tris over so trivial a reason if there hadn't been some manipulation involved). Almost. The alienation continued.

Daja had been next to leave. She had not approved of the driving away of Tris, nor did she approve of Torero's possessive nature, for Torero was always pulling her away from her friends for some activity or another. By then, Daja and Kirel had already ended their relationship, and Sandry had once again mistakenly blamed the concern on jealousy.

Flashback

"I'm serious, Sandry. His possessive nature can-"

"Daja, I'm really sorry, but if you're just going to talk badly about Torero again, I-"

"You deserve better, Sandry. His love for you, it's-"

"Our love is as true as it gets!"

"... will you, once again, choose him over you friends?"

"Will you leave me, too, Daja?"

"It is not I who leave. It is you who drives me away."

And then, there had been that wrench as Daja did whatever-it-was that Tris had done. And then she was gone, too. She did not told either Frostpine or Kirel of her whereabouts. She simply disappeared with the most basic of belongings.

Sandry sometimes wondered if she and Tris were together somewhere.

Probably not.

End Flashback

Briar, every-trustworthy Briar, had been last. He had been full of common sense, but her mind had being completely poisoned by Torero by then. And then she had done the unforgivable ...

Flashback

"Listen, Sandry. Torero is just using you!"

"You lie! Torero loves me. I'm going to marry him one day."

"Sandry, would just listen to me? Have you even considered-"

"Torero told me the other day that you love me and that you want me for yourself. He said you would try to sabotage our relationship. I told him he was wrong, but I guess he was right! I can't believe you."

"No, I can't believe you. Maybe I should leave you, too. Maybe if you're alone, you'll have to think for yourself, and you'll be able to save yourself before it's too late. Maybe if I leave, the pain of your loneliness will wake you up."

And then, the wrench. The emptiness. Almost familiar now. She was truly alone, for the first time.

His parting shot. "I loved you once, Sandry, it is true. No longer."

End Flashback

Briar had guessed correctly. The pain of being alone allowed some of her sanity and lucidity to return, just in time to see Torero attempting to drain away the remainder of her magic. She hadn't been able to use the stitch-witch powers on him, but ...

She had had a knitting needle with her, at the time. She stabbed him with it. Repeatedly. Watched as he bled over the silk dress, and snarled at her, and tried to strike her. She had stabbed him again, and again, and again, even after her was dead. Her teachers found her like that the next morning.

She hasn't used magic, since. She takes out this peculiar thread, occasionally, holds it and remembers. She imagines that if she tried, maybe she could call out to them. Maybe they would come.

But she is Lady Sandrilene fa Toren, and she had made a terrible mistake. She is too proud to call out to her friends, to beg them for forgiveness. She was heiress to the Duchy of Emelan, and was too proud to grovel.

She was proud.

Pride cometh before a fall ...

To be continued ...