Fang is…Crunk?

A/N Me: Hey! So we (my sister and I) decided to kidnap Fang last night, but he can't come to the computer right now cause he's all tied up! Right Fang?

Fang: Mmnppffhhh! (Help!)

Sister: Ha-ha Fang, you're so silly! We will all be great friends! Anyway… here is our first fanfic! Reviews please! And flames are funny because you think we care .

Disclaimer: ….W-w-we-we- don'townMaximumRide! WHAHAHAH! But for now… we have Fang!

Max POV

It started out like any other Saturday. The flock and I were chilling at my Mom's house cause the world saving was taking a break. Unfortunately, she was also making us go to school. The regular kind, not the evil-rip-apart-your-dna-kind. We were watching some stupid movie about sparkling blood drinkers in the living room. I was on the loveseat with my head on Fang's chest. Gazzy and Iggy were in the corner, doing god-knows-and-I-don't-want-to-know-what, and Angel and Nudge were on the sofa, watching raptly. The movie- finally- ended. I looked at the clock. Six.

"Ok guys- dinner time! Iggy- get up and make something!" I said, clapping my hands. Iggy got up with a little grumbling, and we all went to wait at the table.

"Max?" Nudge asked, already starting with her Bambi eyes. Oh no. "You know how we always see these parties on TV and how they look so fun and bright? Well I was thinking that maybe we could have a party and invite all our friends from school and have chips and dip and sodas and candy and I could wear a dress and you and Angel can get dressed up and we could play music from the stereo system and-"

"NUDGE! Just stop, ok? Well…..I don't know. We'd have to ask my mom but other than tha-" I was cut off by multiple cheering kids. Well… except Fang. He just did his smirk-and-shrug thing.

"Ask me what?" my mom said as she was walking into the room, obviously drawn by the delicious smells of lasagna, or some pasta thingy, coming from the kitchen.

"If we could have a party!" Angel bursts out, clearly too excited.

"Well I don't see why not." my mom said grinning.

'Oh boy,' I thought. 'This can't be good.'

A/N Sister: Guess what? We took Fang's gag out so we could talk to him! Yayy!

Fang: You two are crazy! Let me go! I need to get back to the flock! If Max sees I'm missing, she-

Me: *reinserts gag* Geez! You talk a lot for an emo guy.

Fang: *death glare*

Sister: Oh, that's right, he doesn't like being called emo! Anyway: weownnothingbuttheplot At least it's a little bit easier to say….

Fang POV

Everything was ready for the party. There were streamers, a huge stack of cds, a drink table, a snacks table, balloons, and all valuables (as well as Mrs. Martinez) were hiding.

"Ohmygosh this is so exciting! I mean we finally get to have our own party like on TV! *gasp* I wonder if we'll be on TV! That would be so awesome! We could name our show, like, "The Flock", and it would tell about our daily lives and cover our parties and" Her ear-bleeding-causing was cut off by my hand. I gave her a look, and she nodded sheepishly.

The clock chimed seven, and I heard Max, right next to me, mutter "OK, let's get this monstrosity over with." I grinned, on the inside of course- I'm too cool for emotions (except with Max), and squeezed her shoulders with my arm. Then the first people arrived.

Max POV

It was now 9:30, and the party was still in full swing. I gotta admit, Nudge sure knows how to throw a party. Although there were too many guys here for my liking, and Nudge seemed to know them all… really well. Hmmm….

At 11, I ushered everyone out the door. Four hours was long enough! I looked around the room. Angel and Gazzy, much to their disliking, and been made to go to bed at 10. Iggy was lounging on the couch. Nudge was buzzing around, apparently way excited at her party's success. And Fang was….huh. Where was Mr. Tall, Dark, and Mysterious?

I walked into the kitchen and saw him. Lying on the floor. Pale white. Not moving. Groaning ever so often. What happened? I noticed a lot of brown bottles around him. Was he poisoned? "Iggy! Get in here now! Something's wrong with Fang!"

A/N Me: Ok, now to the good part!

Sister: Took you long enough! Those two chapters were boring!

Fang: *nods*

Me: HEY! WHO ASKED YOU? HUH FANG? STAY OUT OF THIS! …. Sorry for that little out burst there, and the boringness, but I had to set up the story somehow. On with the show. Hey Fang- wanna do the disclaimer?

Fang: *shakes his head no*

Me: *glare*

Sister: That's ok! I will do it for the team! We don't own MR…. *tear*

Max POV

Iggy came running in. He knelt by Fang, listened for a minute, and said "I think he's fine…just drunk!" he said with a way-too-evil-looking smile. "Go get the video camera Nudge!"

"Ok!" she said, running up the stairs.

Oh my gosh… this was pretty good. I can't wait until he gets up. Maybe he will say some embarrassing secrets… or humiliate himself by dancing or something…. Yea. I can't wait!

I started shaking Fang. "Hey! You! Wake up!" He groaned really loud, and sat up.

"I think… I'm gonna… dress up." He said, slurring every word. He walked, very unsteadily, up the stairs. We heard lots of banging and cursing. He must have fallen. Nudge, who had come back with the video camera, and I giggled. Iggy was chuckling and shaking his head.

Fang came back downstairs, almost falling. I almost fell myself when I saw what he was wearing.

He had on Nudge's pink sparkly dress that is about knee length on her, and was like a shirt on him. Nudge could barely talk while she was explaining to Iggy what was happening. We all were cracking up so hard!

Then Fang started to sing and do this little dance that was… so… not Fang.

I know you want me,

I know you care.

Just say whenever,

and I'll be there.

A/N: My ears are bleeding! Run from the Beiber song! :0

Us three were laughing so hard that we could barely stand up. Fang frowned drunkenly. "What? You don't, like, like my dress?" He said the last sentence like a Valley Girl.

We were laughing too hard to reply. He scowled and walked to the kitchen. He came back out with a colander. "This is my hat!" he proclaimed, swaying. "I shall keep him and call him Colander!" He then proceeded to run around the room with his hat on, yelling "Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"

I really hoped Nudge was getting this on tape, and wasn't on her knees laughing like I was.

Fang stopped in front of us. "You know what I want? I want an ear." He then proceeded to jump on Iggy, knock him out, and bite his ear. "Yummy. Tastes like corn!"

He then proceeded to try and kiss Iggy! Luckily, Iggy woke up and punched him. "FANG! WHAT THE-"

"IGGY! LANGUAGE!" He just glared at me and got up off the floor.

Fang also picked up off the floor. "I sorry Iggy. It was a joke! I just… really just wanna kiss Max cause she perdy." I stopped laughing and blushed.

"Whhaaattt?" I practically shrieked. But Fang was too busy studying his fingers to listen to me.

"I have two fingers…" he said, holding up three. "But now I have four!" he said, giggling hysterically while holding up one finger. Oh boy. He was hammered.

Fang then went over to Nudge and ripped her dress he was wearing off… literally. She gasped and punched him, still holding the camera. "That was my favorite dress!"

Fang spun around to face me. "Guess what Max? I have a contest for redheads on my blog. You should dye your hair and join it!" He looked at me, slightly cross eyed.

I didn't hear anything past 'redheads'. I just punched him, hard, and we went down. Hard.

A/N Me: HAHAHAHA! Fang, you're so funny when you're drunk! *takes out gag*

Fang: How did you know about this?

Sister: Let's just say we have our sources…

Fang: ANGEL!

Me: Teehee! On with the story. which is the only thing we own.

Fang POV

Argh my head hurt! And why did my mouth taste so bad? And why did I have three separate, pounding spots on my face?

"Hey Fang. You up?" I heard Max's voice like it was through glass- muffled and indistinct.

I opened my eyes a crack. Why was I on the floor? The last thing I remembered was meeting one of Nudge's guy friends, drinking a beer with him, going into the kitchen and finding more beer…and… oh my god…. "What's up?" I asked, trying for 'nonchalant'. It sounded like I had gargled sandpaper.

"Oh, nothing." Max said, also going for nonchalant.

I was in trouble. I could hear it in her voice. I got up and tried to go upstairs. But I tripped. Why was it so hard to stand? Was I still drunk? I looked down.

"ARGH! What the heck?" I was dressed in a pair of pink stilettos! And I was in a white mini skirt and a pink halter top! WTF?

I heard all five of the flock cracking up behind me. When I turned around, they laughed even harder. "WHAT NOW?"

Angel replied, gasping for breath, "Look… at your… face… oh my gosh… it hurts!" and fell on the ground laughing.

I growled and walked over to the mirror. Oh. My. God. They did not. I was wearing make up, and a lot of it. Lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, blush, all of it was on my face. And my hair… my poor, beautiful, shiny, black hair…was blue and pink!

I thought of something, and fearfully extended my wings.

"NOOOO!" It came out of my mouth before I could stop it. My wings, pure black and awesome, were streaked with white, pink, gold, and silver! I'm never drinking again.