56 ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse and generally get you killed by Lord Voldermort

Ask him why he doesn't have a cool scar.

Laugh at him.

Wake him up by singing 'who let the dogs out.'

Knit him things.

Give him sexy lingerie.

Smile at him during death eater meetings and say you taught him every thing he knows.

Chew bubble gum all the time and when he talks to you blow it in his face.

Dance in front of him and get him to join in.

Ask him when he last took a bath.

Pat him on the head and give him flowers each time his plans are foiled.

If you ever need to say 'like taking candy from a baby' add 'of course SOME of us might find that harder than others,' and stare at him pointedly.

Call him 'the-man-who-let-the-boy-live'.

Ask him why the dark mark couldn't look like something more socially acceptable.

Insist that you have monkeys more cunning than him.

Try to teach him to play the mouth organ.

Roll your eyes during death eater meetings and say stuff like 'if you say so' and 'its your funeral,' under your breath.

Be cheerful.

Pinch him.

Greet him in the mornings with 'My sir, you look very menacing today.'

Taunt him about him middle name.

Keep a good behaviour chart with gold stars.

Draw Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

Apparate in and out of his room non-stop for an hour.

Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker face and ask how he expects to rule supreme without one.

Let of party poppers in his face.

Ask him if he ever had a girl friend. Like ever.

Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling him and Harry Potter and re-enact all Harry's victories over him.

Any time he enters a room insist on going in first and announcing him grandly.

In these announcements, fake an equally fake drum roll.

Encourage him to think happy thoughts.

Ask him to give you written summaries of all his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

Mock he's choice of Quirrle as host.

Ask him if he's still a virgin.

Tell him to stop repressing his anger.

Tell him that whenever he gets angry he should close he eyes and count to ten.

Buy him a stress ball in the shape of a smiley face.

Hint that he is the only character in the book that will never triumph.

Call him Tommy boy.

Call him voldie-poo.

Whack his arm every few seconds and say mosquito.

Say he looked better under the turban.

Eat his snake. Offer him some.

Imperious his death eaters in to a rousing chorus of 'I'm a Barbie girl.'

Shower him with confetti every time you feel he needs to make a grand entrance.

Paint all the death eater masks with bright colours.

Add glitter.

Throw him a care bear themed birthday party.

Tell him what Snapes really up to.

Sing 'what is love' by take that at the top of your voice every time he's trying to have an evil moment.

Ask him if he's sure the whole 'evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old.

Give Rita Skeeta full details of his whereabouts and contact details.

Hug him at random moments.

Wonder aloud if the name Voldermort commands as much respect as say Dumbledore or Potter.

Write sonnets for him.

Psychoanalyze him conclude that he is mildly depressed with a hint of control freak.

Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

Just some randomness because I'm bored and have nothing to do :( review? pleasee.

Which ones your favirote, mines the last one ;D

Once again please review, look the buttons just down there. And thank you for reading :)