Heart of Stone

Part Two

Janeway leaned back in her chair on the bridge, happy to be back on her ship. Even though she'd apparently slept through the whole ordeal on the alien moon, she found herself looking at her surroundings with renewed interest. Her ship, her crew, she was grateful for all of them.

While she'd come away from the whole affair feeling enlivened somehow, it seemed to have had the opposite effect on Chakotay. In the two days since their return she'd noticed he was quieter than usual, even withdrawn. She believed he was hiding something. And the few times she'd tried to get him to talk about it, to tell her in more detail what had occurred, he'd shut her right down. Whatever he'd endured, it had obviously shaken him to the core. Her instincts told her she wasn't getting the whole story, not by a long shot.

Unsure how to help him, she'd given him three days off to recuperate and he'd spent almost the entire time alone in his quarters. She assumed he was meditating or consulting his spirit guide. She wanted to go to him, to comfort him as a best friend should. And yet she was reluctant, wondering if he preferred solitude and would see her visit as an intrusion.

She was tired of her own indecision. It was unlike her and she found it intolerable. Suddenly the answer came to her. She knew what she'd do. She'd send him a message. That'd be perfect. She could tell him she was concerned, that she was here if he needed her but would respect his privacy if he preferred to be alone. Then the ball would be in his court.

Energized at having finally made a decision, she rose to her feet and glanced at her bridge crew. She'd sent Tuvok to the mess hall to deal with a disagreement between two engineering crewman that had gotten out of hand. With Chakotay out, the left Tom in command.

"You have the bridge, Mr. Paris," she said with a brisk nod of her head. "I'll be in my ready room."

"Aye, Captain."

The ready room doors were barely closed before she was at the replicator ordering a cup of black coffee. Once she had the steaming mug snugly between her palms she took a seat at her desk and prepared to write the message for Chakotay.

Forty-five minutes and three cups of coffee later, she was pacing in front of the sofa, reaching an arm back to rub her aching neck. Writing a message had seemed like such a simple task, especially for a Starfleet captain who communicated with countless people on a daily basis. But for some reason she just couldn't find the words. It was honestly the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard of but here it was - happening nonetheless.

She knew it was childish. She was acting like some prepubescent school girl writing her first letter to a boy she had a crush on. But what does one say in such an instance? For that matter, who but Kathryn Janeway would find herself in such an instance in the first place? How could she thank him, the man who'd stood by her, tried to ease her suffering 

and was even prepared to stay with her while she died? Except it wasn't her, but the alien had read her mind, so in a way it was her. But it wasn't. The whole thing made her head throb.

God, if she was this confused she could only imagine how Chakotay must feel.

Part of her hesitation came from the fact that they hadn't experience the same things. She'd been asleep, dreaming something … something she couldn't quite recapture. But she was certain it was pleasant, whatever it was. Chakotay, on the other hand, had gone through Hell. To stand by, helpless, and watch your friend suffer … to prepare to watch her die, Janeway couldn't even imagine the agony. Part of her felt guilty for being off in dreamland while it happened.

She had an almost overwhelming urge to go to him, to wrap him in her arms and tell him everything was okay. Over and over again he'd been there to comfort her; offering advice, a kind word, a warm embrace - whatever she needed. Truth be told, she couldn't imagine her life without him.

"Oh, Chakotay. If only you'd tell me the whole story," she muttered to herself. "How can I help you if you won't talk about it? How can I understand what you're going through?"

Suddenly Janeway's mind was hit with a barrage of images and thoughts so powerful that she staggered with the impact of it. So many sensations slamming into her brain all at once that she nearly lost consciousness. They hit without warning and she was completely unprepared for the onslaught of emotions the images wrought.

She saw herself covered to the waist in the crystal. Then another image, her face ashen and her lips blue, only her head and neck showing above the stone. They were images, disorderly and fragmented, of herself as seen through someone else's eyes. Chakotay's eyes, she realized amid the chaos. But it wasn't only his visual memories she was experiencing. She was also being bombarded with the intense emotions that went along with them. There were too many to process; fear, apprehension, anger, helplessness, love, and pain - tremendous pain.

A scream tore from her throat as she dropped to her knees, unable to withstand the cyclone pouring into her mind. She clapped her hands over her ears, as if she could silence the sounds inside her head. All of Chakotay's memories and feelings from that horrible day had suddenly entered her mind, giving her the knowledge she was seeking but the load was so overwhelming and massive that she feared she'd lose consciousness.

The ready room doors swished open and Tom Paris burst into the room like he was shot from a cannon, a phaser in his hand. "Captain?"

When he saw her rocking back and forth on the floor, her hands squeezing the sides of her head, he dropped the phaser and ran to her side. "Captain, what's going on?" He locked his hands around her small wrists and pried them away from her face, desperately trying to make eye contact with her. "Captain! What is it? Can you hear me?"

"Too many images," she cried. "It's too much!"

Two members of Tuvok's security team came barreling through the door, phasers drawn. But Paris held up a hand to stop them, knowing his captain wouldn't want anyone to see her in this condition. "Get the Doctor," he ordered.

"No!" she screamed. "No doctor! Just make them leave, Tom."

Hesitant to leave their captain in this condition, the security officers deferred to the next ranking officer in the room. "Lieutenant Paris?"

Paris nodded reluctantly. "I'll handle this. You're dismissed." The ready room door hissed closed behind them.

Inside her mind Janeway saw herself pleading with Chakotay to leave her, to let her die alone. As she heard her own voice telling him to go, she felt his crushing pain and desperation in her chest and a tormented sob wracked through her. "God, Chakotay, I'm so sorry…"

A calm voice sounded in her mind, momentarily cutting through the pandemonium. "Relax."

"I can't!"

"Can't what, Captain?" asked Paris.

"Yes, you can, Janeway. Relax," said the soft, feminine voice. It was strangely familiar, yet she knew she'd never heard it before. It was comforting, soothing amid the chaos. That was because it had comforted Chakotay, she suddenly realized. She could see it in his memories. Instantly, she knew who the voice belonged to and she stopped screaming.

"Vala?" she asked, her voice cracking and strained.

"Yes. I'm showing you his memories. I'm trying to help you understand."

"Who's Vala?" asked Paris, confusion deepening the creases between his blonde eyebrows. "Captain, I think we should get you to sickbay."

"No," she ordered. She tried to slow her breathing, the images still flashing turbulently in her mind. "I just need quiet!"

"Free your mind. Stop trying to control the memories. Just let them come, and then you will find the answers you seek. Stop fighting it, Captain Janeway. Learn, as I did. Understand …"

"But it's too much!" she cried. "I can't. I can't order all these thoughts! Not by myself."

"Then let your friend help you."

"How?" she screamed, unable to tolerate the pain inside her skull.

"You only have to reach out to him. Just touch him."

Still trembling and hyperventilating, drowning in the mass of images in her mind, Janeway turned her wild gaze on Paris. "Tom," she panted, "will you help me?"

"You know I will, Captain," he said without hesitation. "But you have to tell me what's going on."

Swallowing back her tears, she shook her head and said, "I can't tell you. I have to show you."

Unsure how she planned to do that, Paris just shrugged. "Then show me."

Slowly, deliberately, and with a great deal of trepidation, Janeway reached out for Tom's hand.

He responded in kind, and allowed her to take his hand between her two smaller ones. He was prepared to offer her whatever comfort he could. What he wasn't prepared for was the photon torpedo of images and memories that exploded inside his mind.

His body tightened and his jaw clenched. His first instinct was the same as Janeway's had been, to fight the mental assault. But he could feel his captain beside him, hear her asking him to help her, telling him to relax. It took only seconds for Paris to realize what he was seeing, whose feelings he was experiencing. And the instant he did, he understood why it had rattled Janeway to her core and why she needed help from a friend to endure it.

He knew there were precious few people she could trust to reveal such vulnerabilities to and, despite the headache it was giving him, realized he was happy to be one of that small number.

The memories drifted between them, the emotional intensity ebbing and flowing as together they saw the events that had caused Chakotay's current state of withdrawal. It had been agonizing for him, watching the woman he cared for so deeply suffer. They felt all of it, his unswerving love for his captain, his crushing pain at not being able to protect her, the desperation that had prompted his heartfelt confession of love. They felt the gut-wrenching, conflicted emotions that tore through him as a part of him wanted more than anything to believe her when she said she loved him in return, and then again as he realized it hadn't actually been her all along.

Hand in hand on the ready room floor, Tom Paris and Kathryn Janeway lived every torturous moment that Chakotay endured on that alien moon. And in the process, they learned more about love, sacrifice, and the extraordinary depth of one man's soul than they'd ever imagined possible.

/\ /\ /\ /\

Afraid to lose physical contact with her after what they'd just shared, Paris held tightly to Janeway's hand as they sat side by side on her ready room sofa. "Are you all right, Captain?"

Her voice, hoarse from her earlier screaming, cracked as she spoke. "I'm fine. But I owe you an apology, Tom."

His eyebrows rose. "For what?"

"For bringing you into this without a fair warning," she said. "I was so desperate to quiet all those raging memories that I didn't even stop to think about what a violation it might be for you. I'm sorry."

"Hey," he said, giving her hand a little squeeze, "I meant it when I said I'd help you, Captain. I'd sit though that a million times over if it meant I could help you half as much as you've helped me. Besides," he grinned impishly, "the only other senior officer out there was Harry, and he'd have had nightmares for the rest of his life."

They both laughed softly, the joke lightening the mood a little. "To be honest," she said, "I'm very glad it was you, Tom. I feel close to all of you, consider you all family. But you are I share a common background."

He laughed at that. "You've been in a penal colony, too?"

"I'm referring to our admiral fathers," she said with a reluctant grin. "You know better than most about the restraints of command."

"You can say that again!"

"And because of that, I know that you'll understand when I say that everything that occurred here today is strictly between you and me. No one needs to know about this."

"My lips are sealed, Captain. But you're wrong when you say it's just between you and me. I think you're forgetting someone rather important here."

She released his hand and rose to her feet, pacing before the view ports as she always did when she was unsettled about something. "I'm not forgetting about Chakotay, Tom. Far from it. I just don't know what to do quite yet."

"You don't know what to do?" he asked incredulously. "With all due respect, Captain, it seems pretty simple to me. If you have any feelings for him, and I think you do, you have to tell him."

"It's not that easy."

"No one said it would be easy," Paris said, also climbing to his feet. "But you saw it, we both did. We experienced his feelings, and they were strong. I've got more experience with women than I want to admit sometimes, and I'm telling you, Captain, I have NEVER loved anyone the way he loves you. Hell, I'm even a little jealous."

Janeway turned to face him. "He suffered terribly. How could you possibly be jealous?"

"Because he knows what he wants," he answered immediately. "In this universe of uncertainty and craziness, where most people aren't even content enough to like themselves let alone anyone else, Chakotay has something solid and permanent inside him. He loves you, Captain. And he knows it beyond a single doubt." He watched as her eyes flooded with tears. "I don't know many people who can say that about someone. I know I can't." He locked eyes with her. "But I think you can."

"What are you saying?" she asked in a carefully even voice.

"I'm saying I think you love him and for some reason you're terrified to admit it."

She regarded him sternly. "Mr. Paris, I-"

But he was having none of it. "No," he interrupted. "No way. You're not pulling rank on me, not now."

She arched an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon."

"You brought me into this," he fired back. "I lived through that right along side you, Captain, and if you asked me to, I'd do it again. I care about you. I'm trying to be your friend and I think you owe it to me to at least hear my opinion."

She eyed him silently for a moment and then a small smile tugged at her lips. "You'd have made one hell of a lawyer, Tom. And you're right; you were here for me when I needed you. The very least I can do is hear you out."

A little surprised by her abrupt about face, Tom softened his tone immediately. "Look, I know it's no secret that Chakotay and I have had our differences."

"As I recall, you were once contemplating killing each other."

He smiled at the memory. "That's true. But a lot's changed since then. And after seeing things literally through his eyes today I have to admit that I've developed a new respect for him. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the way he felt when he thought he was going to lose you. Or the way his heart pounded in his chest when he heard your voice saying, 'I love you, too'."

He took her hand gently in his, his blue eyes pleading with hers. "He loves you, Captain, with an intensity I've never known before. He's willing to take whatever you can give him and he waits quietly by your side. That's a rare thing, especially out here so far from home. If you let it go by without at least acknowledging it, you're cheating yourself out of something incredible.

"I don't know why you're so afraid of it. But if it's because of us, because of this ship and crew, then you should know that all we want is for you to be happy, Captain. We're a long way from home and the future's uncertain at best. You've got a shot at happiness with Chakotay. And you're a fool if you don't take it."

Before she could offer a response, they were interrupted by Harry Kim's disembodied voice coming through Tom's combadge. "Kim to Paris."

"Go ahead."

"Shift's over, buddy. Where are you? Buster Kincaid needs a partner."

He flashed Janeway a questioning glance.

"Go," she said softly, a small smile on her face. "I'll be fine."

"I'll be right there, Harry."

He gave her hand an affection squeeze before stepping toward the door. "Go to him, Captain. Whatever you fears are, I think you know you need him as much as he needs you. You just have to admit it."

She watched him go in silence, not trusting her voice enough to speak. She knew he was right. She'd felt Chakotay's love for her and was still reeling from the sheer intensity of it. Her own love for him was equally strong, she could see that now. And the knowledge that he believed she'd never say it caused her heart to break in her chest.

He'd been prepared to die rather than leave her alone to face her fate. She loved him even more for it. And while she didn't know what, if anything, would become of their feelings, she knew that at the very least, Chakotay deserved to know how she felt. She owed him that much.

/\ /\ /\ /\

Chakotay sat on the floor in his quarters, his hands shaking as he tried once again to meditate. He hadn't had this much trouble quieting his mind since Seska had appeared on the view screen, her Cardassian features disturbingly visible, and told him he had a son. Of course, that had all been an elaborate deception. So had everything that took place on the alien moon. And while he knew Vala hadn't meant to cause him pain, the outcome was the same regardless.

Frustrated and exhausted, he wrapped up his medicine bundle and placed it gently on the table. He'd try again later. Right now he needed to do something physical, something exerting. It'd been a long time since he'd played Velocity on the holodeck.

Changing into a pair of shorts and a tank top, he thought about what kind of opponent he'd program to play against him. Someone aggressive, someone he could take out his frustrations on. Maybe a Naussican, they liked a good fight. In fact, maybe he'd forget Velocity all together and just program a good bar brawl. Maybe pounding the hell out of something would relieve some of his tension.

Determined and eager to begin, Chakotay charged out the door. His eyes were fixed on the supports he was fastening on his wrists and, consequently, he didn't see Janeway standing just outside his door. He nearly knocked her to the deck.

She made an undignified "Ummmph" sound as Chakotay's large body slammed into her. He grabbed her by the arms and steadied her before she toppled over completely.

"Captain?" he said, surprised. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Janeway said with mild chagrin. She collected herself as best should could and tried to appear unruffled. "Where's the fire?"

Chakotay looked confused. "Fire?"

"Where are you headed in such a hurry?"

"I was just going to the holodeck," he said. Realizing he was still holding her by the arms, he offered a small smiled and reluctantly let go. "I didn't see you standing there."

"Obviously," she said, a wry grin tugging at her lips.

"I'm sorry. You sure you're okay?"

She waved a hand dismissively. "Forget about it. I'm fine."

They stared at each other for a few silent moments, an uneasiness permeating the air between them. That's when Chakotay noticed her red-rimmed eyes and haunted expression. She's been crying, he realized.

Kathryn stared up at him. She'd come to his quarters with the intention of telling him exactly how much he meant to her, how much she loved him. But now, face to face with him, she felt her resolve and her courage slipping silently away. I have to get out of here, Janeway thought. I can't do this.

"Well," she said awkwardly, turning to leave, "have a good time on the holodeck, Commander."

Before she had the chance to escape, Chakotay grabbed her by the elbow. "Wait."

She glanced back at him with what she hoped was a neutral expression.

"Come inside. I think we need to talk." Seeing the look of indecision on her face, he added, "We can't avoid this forever, Kathryn."

Knowing he was right, she nodded her consent and sighed softly in resignation as he led her into his quarters. How this one man could stimulate such conflicting and uncharacteristic emotions in her, she'd never understand.

Once they were seated on the sofa, Janeway said, "Before you nearly fractured my ribs in the corridor, I knew exactly what I wanted to say to you. But now that I'm here I'm not sure how to begin." She grinned sardonically. "An odd situation for me, I usually have more than enough words sitting on my tongue for any occasion."

Chakotay laughed softly. "Can't argue with that." He resisted the urge make small talk, knowing this was awkward for both of them. The best thing to do was get to the point. "Why don't you begin by telling me what's on your mind. Why have you been crying, Kathryn?"

She was a bit startled that he could see it so easily. "That obvious, hmm?"

"Maybe not to everyone else," he said with a shrug. "But I know you."

"Yes," she said softly, "you certainly do. It seems you know me better than I know myself, in fact."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

She fixed her blue eyes on him intently. "I know what happened on the away mission, Chakotay. I know all of it, every detail."

He regarded her skeptically. Every detail? "How?" he asked, thought part of him already knew what her answer would be.

"Vala," she said. "I was in my ready room. I wanted to send you a message but I couldn't decide what to say. I mumbled something to myself about wishing I could understand what you were going through, and suddenly it all hit me. Literally. All these images and emotions rolling around in my mind." Her eyes glistened as the tears once again began to build up behind her eyelids. She blinked hard to keep them back and put a hand on his shoulder. "I saw your memories. I know how painful it was for you. I know that you stayed right by my side and were willing to die rather than leave me. And … I also know why."

Mortified, he pulled away from her touch and rose to his feet. He walked over to the view port, his back to her as he tried to wrap his mind around the very idea of it. She'd seen his warbling confession of love? And now she was probably here to let him down easy, remind him of all the reasons why he shouldn't feel that way and why she could never allow herself to return those feelings. How could he face her knowing that?

Janeway knew he'd find it difficult to accept that she'd been inside his mind and she found herself wondering how much harder he'd take it if he knew Paris had seen it, too. She was grateful for Tom's loyalty to her and knew it would keep him from ever breathing a word of what he'd seen to anyone. Maybe one day she'd be able to tell Chakotay, but now was definitely not the time.

She rose and stood behind him. She was close enough to touch him but kept her arms at her sides. "I know how unsettling this must be for someone as private as you are, Chakotay."

He snorted sarcastically. "Unsettling? That doesn't begin to describe it." Keeping his back to her, he said softly, "If you're here to remind me that my feelings are inappropriate, you don't need to bother. I never meant to impose my emotions on you, Kathryn. I only said it in that cave because I thought we were both going to die there. I wanted you to know before you died and I wanted you to understand why I could never leave you to suffer alone."

She touched his arm gently. "I know," she said. "I felt your emotions when you thought I was near death. I'm still reeling from it."

He didn't respond to her touch, but he didn't pull away either. "I had no intention of telling you about that. You made it perfectly clear when we left New Earth that any relationship between us beyond friendship was impossible. My feelings are my own problem, and I'll deal with them in my own way. You don't need to worry about it."

"No," she said, stepping in front of him and forcing him to meet her gaze. "You're feelings aren't your own, Chakotay. I didn't just see your memories, I lived them. I felt your pain, your desperation to save me. And I felt your love for me, too. It was stronger and more 

intense than anything I could've ever imagined." A single tear broke free and slid slowly down her face as she brought a trembling hand up to gently stroke his cheek. "Don't push it away now that I've seen it. I'm overwhelmed by it. I never dreamed anyone could love me so deeply, so completely."

He sighed hard and leaned into her palm, his own hand coming up to cover hers. "Spirits help me, Kathryn, but I do. I love you as I've never loved anyone else."

Her voice wavered emotionally. "I love you, too, Chakotay. I tried for a long time to deny it, but I do love you."

He released her hand and closed his eyes tightly, as if he were in great physical pain. "Don't," he whispered. "Don't say that because you pity me, or out of some sense of obligation because you saw my thoughts. The last time I heard your voice say those words, it wasn't even really you."

"Well, it's me now," she said firmly. "And I don't say it out of pity or obligation."

"Then why?" he demanded, afraid to allow himself to believe it. "Why now?"

"Because I saw myself through your eyes," she said, taking his hands in hers. "You knew that woman in the crystal wasn't me because she admitted that she loved you. You believed without a doubt that I would never say that, that I'm too blinded by protocol and duty to see my own feelings, let alone admit them. And no matter how badly you wanted those words to be true, you knew that I would've let you turn and walk away, leaving me alone to die before I would've ever uttered those words aloud. And the worst part is, you were absolutely right. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry you had to experience all of that."

"Don't be. I needed it," she said, still holding tightly to his hands. "I needed to see myself from your perspective before I could realize how stupid I was being, how cold I was becoming. My God, Chakotay, I would've lost you. I would've thrown it all away. Can you ever forgive me?" She began to sob.

Stunned, he barely managed to stammer, "Don't cry, Kathryn –"

The tears ran freely down her pretty face. It was as if the flood gates had opened and once it started pouring out she was powerless to stop the rest from flowing out behind it. "When the images of your memories subsided the first thing I wanted to do was throw myself into your arms and tell you how sorry I am. How sorry I am for hurting you, for denying even to myself how much you've come to mean to me. I wanted to lay my head against your chest and listen to your heartbeat, to feel your arms around me and tell you that, protocol be damned, I want nothing more than to be with you. I wanted you to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay."

Shocked and wracked with emotion, it took Chakotay a moment to summon the power of speech. Finally, he opened his arms wide, tears brimming his eyes, and said, "It's not too late for any of that. I feel like I've waited my whole life just to hold you."

In the fraction of a second it took for her to fall into his embrace, all of Chakotay's hopes for a future with Kathryn were born anew. And when he wrapped his strong arms around her and buried his face in her hair the rest of the universe ceased to exist. There was only her, the way her diminutive body felt against him, the feeling of her arms encircling his neck, and the intoxicating scent of her hair. Chakotay had never known such peace in all his life. "It's okay," he whispered. "Everything's going to be okay."

Kathryn sobbed silently as she buried her face in his broad chest. She knew just how deeply he loved her, cherished her, and the feel of his body wrapped around hers was so consuming that she wasn't sure how she'd ever let go. "I love you, Chakotay."

She felt his sharp intake of air at her statement, and his voice crackled with emotion when he replied. "I love you, too, Kathryn."

/\ /\ /\ /\

Hours later, the remnants of their dinner scattered across the small table, Chakotay still felt like it was all just a dream. It was so hard to believe that Kathryn was there with him in his quarters, her head resting in his lap as he brushed the reddish locks of hair from her face. He knew she was exhausted, emotionally as well as physically. He was, too. But she looked so beautiful sprawled across the couch that he wondered if he'd ever be able to sleep again. Kathryn, on the other hand, seemed about to drift off.

"Are you falling asleep on me?" he asked, stroking her jaw with his thumb.

"No," she said in a voice that was decidedly groggy. "Just laying here wondering why in the hell I waited so long to be with you like this. I don't remember the last time I felt this tranquil."

He smiled brightly. "Good. If I have my way, you'll feel that way every day."

"Careful," she teased. "I may just hold you to that."

"I'm counting on it," he said. He leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. As she grew quiet again Chakotay allowed his thoughts to drift. They'd spent the last few hours just being together, sharing a meal and holding each other close. They hadn't discussed where they planned to go with this new found relationship and Chakotay found himself wondering what Kathryn's intentions were now that she'd faced her feelings.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice her staring up at him. "Just ask me," she said.

Startled, he glanced down at her. "Ask you what?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking about asking me," she drawled lazily.

He smiled. "What makes you think I want to ask you something?"

She stifled a contented yawn. "The way you're tugging on your ear."

He stopped immediately, realizing that he hadn't even been aware he was doing it.

"You do that when you're trying to decide whether or not to ask me something."

He laughed softly. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I saw your thoughts, remember?" she said matter-of-factly. "In essence, I was you for a short time and I know that when you're debating on whether or not to ask me about something, you tug on your ear."

He flashed her a dimpled grin. "You have me at a distinct disadvantage."

"Just the way I like it," she grinned. "Now out with it."

He shrugged slightly. "I'm just wondering what happens now."

She sat up, resting her back against the sofa. "You want to know where we go from here."

He nodded. "I think it's a fair question. And since I haven't seen your thoughts, you'll have to verbalize it for me."

She laughed and captured his hand between hers. "All I know is that I want to be with you, Chakotay. There's got to be a way that we can command this ship and be in love at the same time. I'm sure it won't be easy but we'll just have to take it one day at a time and deal with it as it comes along."

His eyes narrowed as he stared at her. "Oh no!" he teased playfully. "She's been abducted and replaced by an alien again. The Captain Janeway I knew believed the crew would mutiny and the entire galaxy would collapse on itself if she had a relationship with her first officer."

She laughed and folded her arms in mock indignation. "That could still happen," she teased. "The night is young and our relationship hasn't even begun yet."

She turned to face him as she climbed onto his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs. She traced the neck of his tank top with her fingernail and kissed him hungrily on the mouth. When he wrapped his arms around her waist and started to respond in kind, she pulled away.

She raised a provocative eyebrow and, in a throaty voice that made Chakotay's heart pound in his ears, said, "There's only one way to find out if the galaxy can survive it."

Chakotay's hands slid down to her hips and he pulled her even closer. "And the crew?" he whispered as he brought his lips to her neck.

Kathryn reached back and pulled the barrette from her hair, shaking the long strands until they fell loosely around her shoulders. "They're not invited."

/\ /\ /\ /\