Meet the Weasleys

"We've only been dating a week and a half. I don't see why I have to-"

"Audrey, you said you would! Besides my mother would burn me at the stake if I didn't bring you home," Percy said exasperatedly. They had already been over this… several times in fact. Percy realized after about the fourth time she protested, that when Audrey was nervous she was downright disagreeable. She had even admitted it.

"It's not my fault when I get nervous I don't want to the thing in question. Everyone's that way!" She said earlier that day. It took all the strength Percy had not to yell at her. His day was already going bad enough, after losing a deal with Ireland's quidditch team he still had to go over to his mother's to be harassed. He could already see George's face, staring at him mockingly. Oh no, instead of the quiet meal with his parents he had been planning when Percy mentioned he was bringing a girl over, his mother immediately invited everyone. Ginny, Harry, James, Fleur, Bill, Victoire, Hermione, Ron, George, Charlie, his mum and his dad were all there to scare the shit out of Audrey.

"Good thing Charlie got the week off and he's coming down here." His mother wrote him, "Ginny and Harry were going to go on vacation starting today but they postponed it. Fleur said that she had an important announcement to make so it'll all work out. I bet you that I'm going to be a grandma for the third time over soon. I think Ron'll have a few things to say as well. He went up to your father a week ago and asked for my wedding rings! He didn't understand that I would have to be dead for him to do that. Your father and I laughed so hard over that. That silly boy." The letter went on and babbled for a few more paragraphs before ending.

"Who's the part-Veela, she's Bill's wife?" Percy quizzed as they walked up to the porch. He felt bad for the twinge of disappointment that he felt when he took a look at the disorganized house. Audrey's house was probably a palace compared to this shack, and they hadn't even weeded the garden!

"Fleur," Audrey said rather smugly. "I told you! I read the autobiography. I know who everyone is." He was grateful that Audrey only had one sibling. It would be so much easier when he visited over there. Molly opened the door for her son. She stood on the step, slightly disheveled with a few gray streaks in her orange hair, with a beaming smile. She looked at Audrey for some seconds before embracing her in a hug.

"You must be Audrey. Your so beautiful!" Molly said as she moved aside to let them inside. The inside was the same as he remembered it. He hadn't been there for two weeks and the usual scent of honey and heat filled his nose.

"Well, actually Audrey's sick so I was hired to fill in for her," Audrey said rolling her eyes and joking. Molly however didn't get it. She stared blankly at her for some seconds as Percy and Audrey laughed. Molly didn't have time to question because at that moment Mr. Weasley appeared.

"Wow! Audrey, it's nice to see you when my son's hands aren't all over you!" He said uncharacteristically sarcastic. Audrey and Percy turned red while Molly whipped to look at him.

"What?" She said making sure she heard him correctly. Arthur realized his mistake and quickly tried to recover.

"A joke!" He said putting his hands up in a defensive manner. Audrey laughed but she was the only one. The awkward moment had passed thankfully as Ron bounded into the kitchen, hands linked with Hermione.

"Percy! You're finally here. Hermione was about to start talking books with me and I was begging for you to arrive," Ron said laughing. He finally noticed Audrey and did a double take. That's right. Percy thought smugly, she's all mine. Audrey slapped his shoulder obviously guessing what he was thinking.

"This is Audrey, my girlfriend," He said loudly pronouncing the last word.

"Whose girlfriend?" Ginny said appearing carrying tiny James in her arms. He had grown since spring and now at 4 months, opened his eyes wide and smiled at his uncle. Percy smiled back at the small child and before answering Ginny's question, scooped his nephew from her arms. Ginny shrugged. "You hold him, you change him," She said sticking her tongue out at him. "You must be the girlfriend. I'm Ginny." Audrey shook Ginny's hand obligingly.

"I'm Audrey. The Girlfriend," She said rolling her eyes. Ginny laughed at her lame attempt at humor, from that moment on they were friends.

"Charlie plus Bill's brood are in the other room. We're only waiting on George now to eat," She explained. Percy felt greatly relieved at the absence of his younger brother. Although he was two years older he felt intimidated by his younger siblings, especially Fred when he was alive and now George. Since George and Fred learned to talk they had always teased their older brother. Percy didn't know if they ever knew how sometimes their jokes had made him cry in the bathroom with the tap water running so no one could hear.

"This is Harry," Ginny said to Audrey introducing her husband. "There's Bill, Fleur and their Victoire. This is Charlie, usually he's in Romania but he's visiting now." Audrey shook their hands in consecutive order. They smiled at her and she looked happily upon them.

"I've heard a lot about you," Bill said smiling at some secret joke. Audrey blushed not understanding why he was smiling like that. She caught her eyes drifting to Fleur. Percy wasn't exaggerating about her beauty. Her blonde hair fell in perfect waves compared to her own crazy curls. She smoothed down her hair in intimidation.

"Actually I've heard quite a bit about all of you. Percy's been quizzing on names since he invited me over," Audrey said with a laugh. Percy came over holding little James in her arms.

"Your not supposed to tell them that," He said with a smile. "Hey Bill. Charlie. Fleur. Victoire, come and give me a hug," The three year old ran over to her uncle obligingly.

"Any presents?" Victoire asked eagerly. Percy shook his head.

"Sorry, no presents this time. Maybe next time if you're a good girl," He winked at Fleur knowingly. She shook her head.

"Buying out your niece, are you now?" Audrey said as she passed him. Percy roared with laughter and stared at her back as she walked away. Just as Percy was getting comfortable on the couch next to his second favorite brother, the doorbell rang. In walked George, but who was that on his arm? It couldn't be-?

"Angelina!" Ginny screamed and wrapped the tall girl in a hug. Angelina smiled warmly.

"I hope I'm not intruding," she said in Molly's direction.

"Of course not dear!" Molly said. "Everyone! Sit down at the table!" She yelled relieved that at last they could eat. Everyone rushed to the table in record time. Percy couldn't help but think 'last one to the table is a rotten egg.' He handed James over to his mother and slipped down beside Audrey. He took her hand under the table and smiled widely. Audrey smiled back. Hermione was the rotten egg, Percy thought smiling to himself.

"Who's this?" George asked Percy looking over Audrey who sat in front of him.

"This is Audrey," Audrey said answering for herself.

"Mum did you have another child I didn't know about?" George asked his mother with a straight face. The table chuckled.

"Give it some time and she may be your sister in law," Molly said joyfully. Percy suddenly went rigid. The lemonade he had been about to swallow came out in a huge spit take landing all over Ron.

"Percy!" He yelled in anger.

"Mum!" Percy said at the same time in embarrassment. Audrey's face matched the red tablecloth. Ron disgustingly wiped himself off shooting daggers at his brother. If looks could kill he would have been dead long ago.

"Speaking of marriage… Hermione and I have something to say-" Ron started with a red face he stood up from where he sat. Fleur however would have nothing of this and stood up herself.

"Speaking of zee babies… Bill and I have an announcement to make," Fleur said suddenly. Ron didn't know what the make of this and just stared at his sister in law. Hermione however was not used to losing. She stood up next to Ron and stared Fleur down.

"I believe Ron was saying something-" She started but was cut off when Bill stood up next to his wife.

"Well, I believe Fleur was saying something, something we've been planning for the past three months, while yours must have been very recent." Bill said menacingly. The scars on his face seemed to make Ron squirm.

"Why don't you say it at the same time?" Audrey piped in with the wave of a hand. George stared at her in amazement, as did the rest of the table. Percy seemed to bubble up with pride at the fact that his lover was such a good problem solver. They didn't seem to get what she was saying.

"3…2…1…go!" She yelled while waving her hand.

"I am 'aving zee baby,"
"Hermione and I are getting married," Both Ron and Fleur spit out at once.

"Problem solved," Audrey said nonchalantly sipping more lemonade. They all sat back down. The table bursts into rounds of congratulations. No one could say they were surprised much though and Mum couldn't even muster up that much enthusiasm.

"You had already asked your father," She said to Ron when he sulked the kitchen afterward.

"Audrey, dear, how did you two meet?" His mother asked politely when conversation slowed. Audrey smiled at the memory.

"Oh it's quite a funny story. Not appropriate for smaller ears though," She said nodding towards James and Victoire. Molly however didn't know what to make of this while George laughed loudly. "He's so adorable. How old is he?" Audrey asked talking to Ginny now. She looked at little James with a smile on her face and Percy's ears perked up. She liked kids! He smiled to himself already planning the names of their future children.

"Only four months," Ginny said smiling and facing James towards Audrey. The baby smiled proudly. Audrey smiled back and Percy's heart leapt for joy.

"He looks just like his father," Audrey said nodding at Harry. Harry looked around from his conversation and smiled at his wife. Ginny smiled back and suddenly Percy looked away guiltily. He didn't need to see the look they shared, especially if it was his baby sister giving that look. Of course it wasn't sexual, after all Harry couldn't really expect to live after doing any sort of innuendo with Ginny's five living brothers. It was just a look, filled with so much knowing and experience. Just the love shared between one look made Percy weary. How could he ever live up to that?

The conversation flowed easily in the Weasley household. Between wedding plans, baby plans and just plain plans there was little pause. One big conversation branched off into smaller conversations, which branched of to only pairs.

"What do you think?" Percy said once Charlie had turned his attention to Ginny. He turned to Audrey eagerly awaiting her views.

"They're… friendly. Loud. My family is much quieter," Audrey said laughing. Percy was reminded immediately of tinkling bells. He felt as light as air now. His family had accepted his girlfriend and vice versa. Girlfriend. The thought made him smile and just saying it out loud made him prouder than he'd ever been before.

"Aunt Audrey?" Said Victoire, bored with talk of politics and "grown up matters", turning to Audrey. Audrey seemed surprised by her new nickname and definitely pleased with the fact she was already accepted into the family.

"Yes?" Audrey said turning to look at the blonde little girl. With blonde tendrils to frame her blue eyes, she was by far as beautiful, if not more beautiful than her mother. But since the chocolate cake had been served for dessert a brown mustache and beard ensemble covered her mouth. The look was very comical and Audrey had to cough loudly to cover a laugh.

"Where do babies come from?" Victoire asked in a bored voice. She pointed towards her mother and all conversation around the table faded away to listen to the small girl. Audrey shifted uncomfortably when she realized that no one was offering to answer for her. Bill sat back with a smile on his face, which with the scar made him look menacingly scary.

"Um…" Audrey started unsure. Percy looked at his uncomfortable girlfriend and of course he felt the need to tease her.

"Oh Victoire, I'm sure Aunt Audrey will tell you all about where babies come from. Where do you think they come from, Aud?" Percy said mockingly. He smiled over to Audrey but instead of the usual smile that split across her face when he talked like this, she became red in the face and remained stony faced.

"The stork brings them of course," Audrey said simply, blushing even redder. Victoire shook her head, knowing fully it was a lie. Bill however caught on to the subdued mode and picked up Victoire.

"You can ask your mother all about that tomorrow, sweetheart. But for now, bed. We should get going, Thanks for dinner Mum!" Bill said already putting powder into the flames of the fire. Fleur got up and kissed Molly cheeks before following her husband and daughter.

The evening, subdued by the awkward question, ended quickly after. George and Angelina left next, and then the other dispersed like quick fire. Audrey answered only in one word sentence and barely said a word of goodbyes when they decided to leave. What had he done, Percy though with his eyebrows furrowed as he kissed his mother goodbye. He was just teasing! They teased all the time how was this any different? Maybe she just wasn't as warmed up to the family as he originally thought. He placed his hand into the sprinkles and through them into the flames. He glanced over at Audrey who looked like she had tears in her still red face. He did a double take shock. No, it was just the light, he thought relieved. The flames turned green and Audrey hoped in first yelling her own address. Why was she yelling her own address? Weren't they going back to his place? She didn't look back as she jump into the flames. Percy, thoroughly, confused yelled her address and followed Audrey.

"What? Just tell me what's wrong," He said concerned as he landed in her cramped fireplace. He crouched down and exited to find Audrey balled on the in her red chair, staring at the blank wall with and unreadable expression. She seemed to not have heard him. Percy stood awkwardly next to the fireplace suddenly remembering he hadn't asked if he could come in.

"You embarrassed me," Audrey spoke facing the wall after a pause. Percy jumped at the sound of her voice piercing through the silence.

"I didn't mean too," Percy said softly. He walked towards the chair but stopped short. She probably didn't want him to hold her anymore. Why'd he have to screw up? He always screwed up everything?

"I know it's just… I get embarrassed talking about things like that," Audrey said sighing. She held her face in her hands but still Percy could see that her ears were tinted red. He had never seen her this embarrassed! It took all of his will not to smile.

"I'm sorry I joked with you in front of my mother," Percy said resigning. Audrey's head peeked up from her hands and looked at him. He eyebrows were up and her mouth was puckered.

"I don't care about that. I'm talking about the subject matter you were joking about. S-E-X!" Audrey said waving her hands in the air. Now the roles were reversed. Percy's face was redder than the red of the chair and Audrey had a smug smile on her face. "It's embarrassing, isn't it? I know you probably didn't mean it like that, but the way you teased… it was just uncomfortable for me," She said simply. She had appeared already to forgive Percy, who stood of to the side, gaping not moving. His mouth was slightly agape. He hadn't heard anything from the moment onward from when she spelled sex. She couldn't be thinking about those things could she? Did she even know what that is? Percy himself barely knew. He reminded himself to look up some books about intercourse later. Audrey though was unfazed. Percy felt extremely lucky that she could not read minds.

"You want to have dinner tomorrow?" She said simply walking into the kitchen to look for cups for tea. She changed subjects fluidly as if their first thoughts that night in the apartment didn't matter.

"Uh… sure."