91. Mr. Jordan, your petition for the acceptance of your previous petition is denied. And I do not care how many signatures you have, it is NOT HAPPENING.

92. Miss Tonks, you are not allowed to use Mr. Potter as a 'naked teddy bear'.

93. Miss Tonks, you are not allowed to use Mr. Potter-Black as a 'naked teddy bear'.

94. Miss Tonks, you are not allowed to use Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter-Black, 'My Lord Black', 'My Lord Potter', 'My Lord Black-Potter', or any combination of names thereof in reference to the child of James and Lily Potter as a 'naked teddy bear'.

95. Miss Tonks, you are not allowed to use Miss Granger as a 'naked teddy bear', regardless of whether you have Mr. Potter's approval or not.

96. Miss Tonks, you are not allowed to use any Hogwarts student, whether male or female, as a 'naked teddy bear'. I cannot prevent you from doing so with Miss Delacour, however, but it is strongly recommended that you refrain from doing so while on school grounds.

97. Messers Weasley, while Slytherin House espouses many views that most would consider distasteful, the appropriate response to them is not a "+12 Crotchpunch of Reality Re-Assessment".

98. Ms. Patil, Professor Snape does not suffer from cranial-rectal inversion, and he would appreciate it if you no longer distributed copies of your manifesto asserting otherwise.

99. Mister Weasley, I don't know who convinced you of this, but Mail-owls do not make 'Owl-Chocolate'. DO NOT PUT ANYTHING THEY PRODUCE IN YOUR MOUTH!

100. Mr. Potter, Fawkes is not 'a great dirty pervert of a bird'. And no, I don't want to know why you believe that.

101. Mr. Potter, I did not want to know why!

102. On a related note, Fawkes is a great dirty pervert of a bird. And no, I will not explain why I believe that.

103. Mister Longbottom, it is inappropriate to refer to the First Years as "Fluffy Chow".

104. Mister Jordan, novelty contraceptives are NOT a requirement in any class. Stop telling the younger years that!

105. Mr. Thomas, there is indeed a spoon. Don't be stupid.

106. Mr. Potter, while amusing, it is inappropriate to have the House Elves reenact any skit from Monty Python. On a related note, witches do not weigh the same as a duck. Asserting otherwise is ludicrous.

107. Professor McGonagall does not cough up hairballs, and does not appreciate being asked; she only had something caught in her throat.

108. Mr. Weasley, Professor Flitwick was a dueling champion for seven years in a row. Holding his wand above your head and laughing was a poor choice of actions, and you should be grateful that your knees will, eventually, heal.

109. Mr. Thomas, your nickname is not 'John'. Stop insisting that it is.

110. Mr. Potter, you are not permitted to pretend to 'Accio brain!' on Mr. Malfoy, and then act unsurprised when nothing happens.