Disclaimer: The characters found within this fanfiction belong to the very talented Manga-ka, Nakamura Shungiki and her manga Junjou Romantica (Junjou Terrorist).
UNCERTAIN DESTINY
Miyagi turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door to his apartment, his midnight blue eyes searched for any sign that would indicate whether or not his roommate was already home.
Lately, the brat hadn't been arriving home at his usual time and he was starting to wonder why, because his little terrorist had always persisted that he wanted to have dinner ready and waiting for him when he got home from work. Not that he minded fending for himself where meals were concerned, because although Shinobu had improved, though minimally, there was always cabbage.
However, it had been almost two weeks in which Shinobu had been consistently late, sometimes not even getting home until well after midnight and it seemed tonight would be no exception.
'Is he... cheating on me?' It seemed somehow implausible to him, for surely his Shinobu-chin would have at least said something. The question however continued to roll over and over inside his head.
The very idea that the young man he had come to love had tired of him, that the love his little terrorist had purported to have for him may have been no more than a simple infatuation, caused bile to rise up in the back of his throat.
He'd always been determined that if he ever became a detriment to Shinobu that he would let him go, but that had been back before he'd totally become wrapped around the brats little finger.
He'd still let him go - reluctantly, but if it were true he knew his own heart would shatter into a million tiny fragments. It was so much worse not to know the truth, to find out without being told, to be kept in the dark and still live together as they had been ever since Shinobu had moved in.
With a quick slug of the drink he'd poured himself once he'd set his briefcase down and kicked off his shoes he sank down onto his living room couch.
Moments later he heard the creak of the door and a growly voice declaring, "I'm home!" followed by the thud of shoes and the closing of the door.
The clock, Miyagi saw, read seven o'clock in the evening. For once, his young lover was only a little late in nearly a fortnight.
He looked in Shinobu's direction as the boy stepped further into the apartment, "Welcome home..." his voice trailed off, not quite sure what to say or how to broach the the question that had been plaguing him for the past several minutes.
The further Shinobu came into the room, the more perplexed Miyagi was by the languid shaky movements and the unusual paleness of his beloved terrorists face, far more pale than normal.
When Shinobu began to wobble and nearly trip, Miyagi had leapt from his seat to catch the lithe blonde in his arms. Dark brows furrowed, 'He feels lighter than usual...' The thoughts of Shinobu possibly having found someone else vanished to be replaced by concern for the boys health.
"Shinobu, have you been eating properly?" The only meal other than on the weekends he'd actually even seen Shinobu eat was breakfast and sometimes the young man only pecked at it even though usually his lover had two helpings of everything. He was sure the little terror had a high metabolism for how scrawny he was, lithe like a runner, but now as he ran his hand over Shinobus' ribs, he could feel the bones slightly starting to poke out.
The boy had only given him a grunt, dull gray eyes narrowing up into midnight blue, furrowed brows and a deeply etched frown.
"Don't lie to me either Shinobu, I can feel the evidence, its unhealthy not to eat properly."
Shinobu had thought for once in the past couple of weeks that it was safe to return home early, instead of hiding from his older partner.
He'd leave their apartment shortly after breakfast whether or not he managed to get anything down and then return far later than midnight, sometimes not until the wee hours of the morning.
'I don't want Miyagi to worry...' had been his thought morning, noon and night. He knew something was wrong with him, had known it the moment nearly two weeks ago when in the middle of the night he'd had to run to the bathroom.
He'd filled the toilet with blood, had wiped it from his mouth, had sunk to the floor shakingly and cried. Spitting up blood, especially in that amount was never a good sign.
Before his beloved Miyagi had woken, he'd quickly rid the room of all evidence that he'd been sick, had brushed his teeth and returned to bed, unable to fall back to sleep.
That morning had been the last time they'd made love, too weak with every passing day to give himself up to the pleasure his lover could provide him and he in turn for him.
Pulling himself out of Miyagi's hold, "I've been eating," though perhaps not as much as usual, but it was difficult to hold anything down for long, especially if it was in larger quantity.
The only thing he'd been able to keep down was toast, crackers and ginger every night and sometimes early in the morning, even at Teito University where he attended he would once again have to rush to the bathroom or a trashcan and there would be the blood, mocking him. Not always, but enough times to realize that something was seriously wrong with him and yet he had not made an appointment for a doctor, too afraid of what they might say, what they would diagnose him with.
"Then you need to eat more Shinobu, that or see a doctor."
Miyagi frowned as he watched Shinobu's gray eyes widen, saucer-like, as the boy trembled, shaking his head frantically before falling back onto the couch.
He'd noticed those beautiful eyes beginning to water, fear clearly written there. He wondered what it was that his young lover feared and was determined that Shinobu should see a doctor, no matter how much he might protest.
Without a doubt, he knew Shinobu was hiding something from him and it had nothing to do with seeing someone else, of that he was now certain.
"I'm making you an appointment as soon as its morning," the doctors offices were all closed so they would have to wait.
"No Miyagi! I don't want to see the doctor."
Miyagi frowned, grasping Shinobu by his shoulders and gazing intently down into the youths eyes, "Listen Shinobu, I will make you the appointment and I will make certain that you go, even if I have to drag you there myself. Do you understand?"
For several minutes the two stared into one anothers eyes, neither willing to back down.
Eventually, Shinobu's eyes fluttered closed as he gave a slight nod, whispering, "I understand," his bottom lip trembling.
With the pad of one of his thumbs, Miyagi gently stroked Shinobu's trembling lower lip while he brushed a tender kiss over the young mans forehead.
Shinobu leaned back into the cushions of the couch, his mouth parting as his tongue peaked out to lightly lick Miyagi's thumb, his arms reaching up and around Miyagi, clinging to the back of his shirt. He didn't want to let go, even though he feared he might have to, if the doctor confirmed his worst fears.
'Tonight, just once more, I want to love and be loved by Miyagi.' With that thought one of his hands slid up to grip the dark hair of the literature professors head and brought him down so that their mouths met each others.
Shinobu frantically plunged his tongue into the older mans mouth, their tongues rolling, gliding, sliding against each other over and over.
Neither noticed the single tear that slowly slid from the corner of the smaller mans eye down toward his ear, getting lost in and absorbed by blonde hair.