Disclaimer: I am not fortunate to own either Doctor Who or Harry Potter.

AN: I know its been a while in updating, I've had this written for a while but hadn't gotten around to posting it. Also there are nin more days until the new season of Doctor Who, so today seemed like a good day for the ninth Doctor to kick Voldemort's but. Please enjoy. :-)

Voldemort vs. 9th Doctor

Were the ninth incarnation of the Doctor to meet the Herald of stupid Apes, more commonly known as Voldemort, It would be in Voldemort's best interest to turn around and run the other direction as quickly as possible. However, being Voldemort, he will fail to recognize the Doctor as someone who he should be afraid of and demand total compliance. I imagine their conversation to go something like this:

D: And who are you then?

V: I am the Dark lord Voldemort.

D: Voldemort? That's a mouthful, almost as hard to say as Raxacoricofallapatorus (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist). Now that's…

V: Filthy muggle die! ADAVA KADAVA!

At this point both the Doctor and Voldemort discovered that wizarding spells have little to effect on Time-lords. Here is another point where Voldemort should have ran, but instead he just stood there dumbfounded that the Doctor was still standing there.

D: Now that was not nice! You stupid ape, that could have killed someone! Why would you do something like this, wait (insert burp here) Ahh that's better. Now, what to do about you? I can't just leave you around and about trying to kill random people with bursts of green light.

V (still standing there with his mouth hanging open): Who are you?

D: I'm the Doctor, and you Voldemort have just made me very mad.

At this point Voldemort did run, dropping his wand in the process. The Doctor took it up and snapped it. So Voldemort did not die this time, but instead ran away screaming. I don't think I mind.

Please review! (I actually found a place where you can buy a sonic screwdriver... :) )