Here's a little something I couldn't get out of my head... Enjoy!

Finland looked at the clock. Nine PM. Right on cue, his phone rung. He leaned over to check the caller id. Russia. He didn't answer. Eventually Russia was directed to Finland's voicemail.

"Hello, this is Finland. Unfortunately, I can't answer my phone right now, so please leave your message after the beep."

Beep.

"Moĭ dorogoĭ Finlyandiya, how I miss you! Please come back. I know you miss me. Don't care about Sweden, together we will stand anything, even him and his unwanted attention." A pause. "I- I need you, golubchik. P-please, come keep me safe from Bela. I- I can't live without you. Please join me! Become one with me! I- I n-need... you..."

Beep. "Call has ended."

"'Darling?'" Finland muttered.

His phone rung again. Sweden.

"Hello, this is Finland. Unfortunately, I can't answer my phone right now, so please leave your message after the beep."

Beep.

"Hej min älskling Finland! I kn'w R'sha's b'n h'rass'ng y' 'gain, b't I c'n k'p y' s'f. I c'n. Tr'ly. R'sha's j'st j'l's th't w'r s'ch a g'd c'pl. Y'r m' w'f, h'v 'lw's b'n m' w'f, 'nd w'll 'lw's b' m' w'f. Hejsan, min fru."

Beep. "Call has ended."

"For the three tho- Oh wait, he can't hear me."

Denmark.

"Hey Fin, you must be pretty wound up with those neighbors of yours. Care for a release of tension, as well as … other things? My place, ASAP. I have alcohol. I'm totally getting you drunk! See ya!"

̣̣̣Later, France called. Finland answered, wanting to actually talk to someone.

"Bonjour, mon ami! Ça va?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"Ça va bien, mais l'Angleterre … Il est déprimé et cela se voit."

"My French isn't nearly as good as my German... Care to repeat that last statement?"

"He is depressed and shows it."

"It's November. Everyone's depressed."

"Want to get laid on a flat surface?"

"No."

"Know anyone who wants to?"

"Denmark, Sweden, Russia, Norway, Estonia."

"Merci beaucoup! Salut!"

"'Bye", Finland said as he shut the line.

Estonia called, and was transferred to Finland's voicemail.

"Hello, this is Finland. Unfortunately, I can't answer my phone right now, so please leave your message after the beep."

"Minu kallike, come, join me, Finno-Ugric brothers forever! Together we would be indivisible. Be more than my cousin, be my other half. Let us become one. Please", Estonia whispered, pleading.

Finland wondered whether he should go on a shooting spree.

Finland's phone rung again.

"Hello, Finland here."

"Grüezi, this is Switzerland. Erm... I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

"Just the ring of perverted calls I get every evening."

"Well, I'd just like to ask you... Um..."

"Go on ahead."

"What's sex like?" Switzerland blurted.

Finland was absolutely stunned by the question. After some pause, he said "Pleasurable...?"

"O- okay."

"Why'd you ask me?"

"Be- because I know you aren't a gossip. And because I'm certain that Liechtenstein will be... doing it... withing the year, so... I wanted to find out. Speaking of which, what's Iceland like?"

"A generally nice boy. Young, sane. Warms up once you know him. Dislikes people trying to shoot him. That category currently includes you, so please try to not shoot him next time you meet."

"I'm only protecting my little sister!"

"From a guy she wants to know better? Stop repressing her for a bit."

"Oh all right. Good night."

"Good night."

Thus was concluded another typical evening in Finland's life.