Note- Thank you to all the readers and reviewers who have stuck with this story. The last four months I've struggled with my muse and writing is harder than ever. So thank you all for your support.

What Matters Most

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Twelve

For weeks her life was consumed with thoughts of one man. A man who she had once claimed to love but the truth was she could never love someone like him. She had never imagined a future with Ian Doyle. He was an assignment, plain and simple.

An assignment that nearly cost her life, and nearly cost Reid his life too. An assignment that came back to shame her, haunt her, tear apart the fabric of the life she had made for herself since then with secrets she thought she had buried deep enough they would never be brought up again. Doyle escaping prison had exposed the very thing she had been most afraid for her team to know about her. Because maybe they would never look at her the same way again.

Now she knew better.

They loved her, respected her and- even if some of them were struggling to understand her actions from years ago and her actions now- they would always have her back. They'd follow her to the gates of Hell if that's what it took to protect her.

Now that Ian Doyle was dead Emily had spent the last week enjoying the fact that her head could clear of thoughts about him hunting her and the team down. Now she could concentrate on a more pleasant subject, one that made her smile and become hopeful again: how she was growing closer and closer to Spencer Reid.

And not just in a feigned way like when they were bait for Doyle. Today when Spencer reached for her hand she knew it was simply because he wanted to touch her. Now her head was consumed with thoughts of Spencer...thoughts that left her on a permanent high as she grew more and more certain that he was starting to feel it too.

To feel the pull, the draw, the chemistry, the aching want, the longing, the need for more, the need for her like she had a need for him. Finally Emily wasn't stuck as the woman who only had bad dates. Over the last three nights she had experienced awesome dates with Spencer.

Not that anything romantic had happened but just having him over for dinner, going out to the movies the next night, and watching Jack Hotchner play indoor soccer on Sunday and then going for pizza with the team- simple, normal, casual events- were thrilling to her because she had shared those moments with him. The whole time he seemed to realize, unlike ever before, how there was a connection between them. He'd stare at her a little longer than usual, rub her arm for a moment, sit closer to her than he used to, place his hand on her back when they were walking somewhere.

Every little moment sent heat rushing through Emily's body, and love flooding her heart.

After dinner on Sunday, instead of Reid going back to Morgan's house, where he was staying until his apartment was repaired, Reid took Emily up on her offer to come back to her place for dessert. When they got inside of her apartment, both smiling from the talk they were having, he asked "So what's for dessert?"

She stared at him for a long moment before saying "Oh, you actually wanted...oh. I don't know. Lets see what I have."

He trailed her to the kitchen. "You asked me over for dessert but you don't know if you have any?"

"I didn't ask you over for dessert," she said, in a duh voice, as she opened up the freezer.

"Yes, you did," he said "I think I should know. I do have an eidetic memory. First Garcia said "Well, my lovelies, its time for mama to go home and wash her hair." and then Morgan said "Need a hand with that, sexy lady? I know my way around a loofah." and then Hotch said "Hey, small ears are present." And then you said-"

"Okay, okay, I asked you over for dessert. I concede the point."

Reid smiled and, after a moment, Emily smiled back at him, before closing the freezer door. "Sorry, we're out of luck for ice cream. Looks like you're stuck coming all this way for just my company."

She teased him "Hope you're not too disappointed."

He gave her a disappointed face but it was obvious he was just joking. Emily chuckled, leaning toward Reid she placed her hand on his chest, and then looked up and into his eyes. The moment grew taut with tension...a sizzling awareness tingling through the air between them.

Her mouth went dry. She wet her lips. "When Sean told me that Doyle had escaped prison, suddenly everything in my life became just about surviving. Now that he's dead I can breath easy again...think again...and do you know what I keep thinking about?"

Reid swallowed hard before clearing his throat. His voice was hoarse when he asked "What, Emily?"

"That dinner we had last month." She paused, her eyes searching his, lost in the moment of being so near to him.

For so very long she had wanted him to be here with her that it was had to comprehend that her waiting and longing may be over for good. There may be no more lonely, tense, bitter nights alone in an otherwise empty bed.

(This year's love had better last.

Heaven knows, its high time.

I've been waiting on my own too long.

When you hold me like you do,

it feels so right.

Oh now, start to forget how my heart gets torn

when that hurt gets thrown.

Feeling like I can't go on) (David Gray)

Emily added "That night it felt like something was changing between us, didn't it? Or am I way off base and out in left field?"

"Left field?"

"Yeah, like in baseball...forget it. It doesn't matter. Reid..." her tone grew softer "do you know that I haven't had a better weekend than this one in as far back as I can remember? Way before that case with Doyle eight years ago. And that's because you were here with me this weekend."

She stepped back from him, leaning against the counter in the kitchen, waiting for him to say he felt the same or that he was so glad to have a good buddy in her, maybe never even realizing how deeply she felt for him. She was prepared for the worst but her heart and soul were praying for the best.

Reid told her "I liked spending this weekend with you too. I usually don't have a lot of plans when we're off work. I know that probably sounds pathetic but its true. I don't mind being alone so don't feel bad for me."

"I don't. I like being alone sometimes too. But other times being alone is just lonely, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I do." His voice was soft and filled with emotion when he admitted "I did like being here with you, Emily."

He closed the distance between them, until he was pressed against her. Stilling, he simply stared into her eyes, as if he was amazed by her. The look in his eyes was so raw, so intense, that it made her breathless. He had never looked at her quite that way before.

And, in all her life, she couldn't remember ever feeling more beautiful than she did in that moment when he openly gazed upon her face with adoration.

Staring at him she realized she could never get sick of just looking at him, just marveling that she had someone like him in her life...someone she could love, someone who just may be able to love her back.

XXXXXXXXXX

All week long, since the moment that Emily had asked Reid to dinner at her place, he had a feeling that he was on the verge of something fantastic. Something so big that he was afraid to talk about it aloud to anyone because it might just disappear in a puff of smoke...too good to be true, to be his...but in this moment Spencer Reid knew that his feeling had been correct.

Emily was interested in him as more than a friend, as a man she could love, and now she was saying she felt that way during their dinner last month. The night when everything seemed perfect to Reid but he hadn't thought it could be more than just that night. He wasn't a dreamer like that. He hadn't been able to dream big enough to imagine getting to love her day after day, having her love him back.

The realization that everything he was feeling was being felt by her too, that his hunger wasn't once again going to go ignored, like so many times in the past with other women, that this time his longing wouldn't be his cross to bear, this time it was mutual, left him stunned.

It was almost too unfathomable to be believed for a man like Spencer Reid. That he could feel this way...care so much, want her in a way he never had before,...and she would return his feelings, want him just as badly...it seemed nothing short of miraculous. And he wasn't one for believing in miracles.

(Turning circles, time again,

cuts like a knife.

Oh now, if you love me,

got to know for sure.

Cause it takes something more this time

than sweet, sweet lies

before I open up my arms and fall

losing all control-

every dream inside my soul.)

Reid added, after a long moment of silence, "Whatever is changing between us...I like it."

Her eyes lit up. "You took pretty easily to the challenge of pretending to be involved with me when we were trying to draw Doyle out. It felt natural...right, don't you think?"

"We were both playing a part."

"Oh, I know. I'm just saying...it felt real at some moments to me."

"Not to me."

"Okay, Reid, way to be blunt. That's was just what we had to do for the case, fine, but this...there's no case right now...and I want you here. This feels more real to me than anything has in years."

He stared into her eyes for a moment. Emotion welled in him.

Reid said "During that case, all I wanted was to help you, protect you even. I know you don't need me to shield you from anything but I still felt that way. Every time I touched you when others were watching it was just to help you. Those nights we spent together in hotel rooms though...that...that was just us...that was real for me...and I started to think...I wish that was my life. That I could always feel like that. Always wake up to see you." His eyes fell away from hers, shyly.

One of her hands smoothed up his chest, which was raising and falling with shallow breaths, and then cupped his throat. In a rush of feelings for her, desperate to act before he thought better of it, thought of all the reasons he was terrified of love, Spencer wrapped Emily in his embrace and slammed his mouth down on hers.

She gasped before returning his kiss with just as desperate passion as he was feeling inside. And, suddenly, after years of always being unsure, feeling alone and lonely more times than not, Spencer Reid realized he wasn't alone anymore.

This wasn't some fantasy he'd wake up from. It was his real, everyday life. A life that he could share with his love...his Emily, the one who matters most.

(When you kiss me on that midnight street,

sweep me off my feet,

singing 'Ain't this life so sweet?'

This year's love had better last.

This year's love had better last.)

THE END