blanket disclaimer: I don't own anything that I am not meant to own.

author's note: hey guys! sad life is sad because guess what? Last chapter. /gross sobbing. Sorry it came out a little late. I did some procrastinating, bwahaha.

-xxx-

Chapter 9

By Its Cliché Ending

-xxx-

Sasuke couldn't stop spinning around in his chair. He couldn't remember the last time that he had actually blinked. There were moments when he stopped his frantic spinning and took to frantic pacing. He tried to take a deep breath to calm himself but only ended up choking on his spit. A glass of water didn't help either, only managing to congeal with his spit in his airway and throw him into a coughing fit. Giving up, he robotically maneuvered himself back into his swivel chair and stared point blank at the screen of his computer.

It was veritably safe to say that Sasuke was currently having the first panic attack of his life.

Clenching his jaw and pulling at his lower lip, he cleared his throat and finally managed to take two calming deep breaths. "Focus," he told himself. "Freaking out over this isn't going to solve anything."

Okay, he told himself, grabbing a pen and a blank piece of paper, how much time do I have left?

His editor had given him three months grace to finish up the manuscript that he had procrastinated on.

Sasuke had given himself six weeks to find inspiration and six weeks to write it.

But, he told himself as he created a couple of arrows and scratched out his previous statement, he had managed to find inspiration within the first couple of weeks and started writing his novel around the end of the second week. He managed to finish the rough manuscript in about three weeks—it wasn't a long novel, about two hundred pages at the most because smut with some sort of plot line honestly couldn't push past that many pages—so that was a good sign.

"But that leaves me with five weeks to be inspired and to write a new manuscript," he said under his breath as he circled the key numbers. He felt something rise in the back of his throat and he pushed it back by taking a sip from his glass of water and took a deep breath. He pushed back the fringe of his hair with his palm and sighed. "How am I supposed to find another source of inspiration now?"

After another moment of contemplation, Sasuke clenched his jaw and weakly punched the wall, leaning back and covering his eyes with his palms.

He gave an exasperated sigh and groaned. "Fuck my life."

Sitting up in the most sluggish manner he could possibly pull off, he stared at the pile of papers on his desk.

With a burst of fury, Sasuke viciously shoved them off the side of his desk, roaring in frustration.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he growled, kicking the leaves of paper.

His shoulders were tight with anger, fists clenched and graced with white knuckles.

A part of him wanted to ask why she would do this, ask the rhetorical question Why do I deserve this? and What on earth did I do? but those were impossible questions he knew the answers to.

He thought that the two of them were out of the psychological-world-war phase. He knew she wouldn't take it well and even anticipated that she'd engage in some sort of retaliation; a little bit of spitball during lectures, maybe, but not something that would possibly destroy his writing career.

He leaned his forearm and forehead against the wall. This was bad. Sasuke knew it was Sakura who came and entered his house, but he knew that if he looked around, he wouldn't be able to find a trace of her. How would he tell the police that an important document was "stolen" when it wasn't stolen, nor was it an important document (in the minds of the police, anyway)?

She'd outdone him again.

With a frustrated huff, he slammed his fist onto the wood, getting a bit of satisfaction from the hollow sound. "Stupid," he muttered. He slid down the wall and buried his head in the crook of his arms, narrowing his eyes at an unmentionable corner of the room.

Great. When he finally managed to stop being Boring-Sensei-san and attempt to socialize in order to save his career, it turned out to be a major disaster. The cover he managed to keep under wraps slipped out to a girl he wanted longer than a one night stand; he had the possibility of being sold out to the harassment center for "improper conduct"; he lost his manuscript to the pettiness of revenge, and had about five weeks to find another source of inspiration and write his new novel.

If Sasuke were a casino case, he would end up losing big time: his day job, his night job, and the respect of everyone he knew.

All because the girl he made love to never stopped to listen to his side of the story.

Just before he could sink even further into symbolic despair, a thought struck him—That's it—and he straightened. His mouth opened slightly. "Why didn't I think of that in the first place?" Rising slowly from his place by the wall and gathering up all the scattered papers, Sasuke plopped himself down into his seat and began to write.

-xxx-

Despite everything that happened, Sakura managed to get over that stupid cold that was plaguing her and hit the books as hard as she could. Finals week was finally here—a week where all classes closed and gave time to the students to study prior to blowing their brains out on actual finals week—which Sakura was extraordinarily thankful for. She didn't think she'd be able to handle sitting in that guy's lecture hall for another moment, let alone see him.

And after she took the final, she was scot-free.

That's right, she told herself as she jiggled her pencil between her fingers, no more stupid Sasuke.

Sakura stared at the wall for a moment before she groaned and leaned back in her chair, clapping her hands over her eyes. "Stupid cognitive dissonance," she said, tossing her pencil half-heartedly onto her desk.

Like she didn't have enough to worry about, what with finals week already looming right beside her. She thought she was over this already—what was wrong with her?

"It's your stupid impulsive brain, you idiot," she told herself as she slumped forward to bury her face in her pile of arms. First she decided she liked the dude—well, really liked him—then she decided she hated his guts—then she liked him again—then she had sex with him—and then she had the audacity and disturbing mindset to break into his house without even bothering to listen to his side and erase half of his life's work.

And now she was regretting it.

(Really, where was her head?)

Thanks to her, he probably despised her as much as she did him; sure, he did something terrible, but Hammurabi's code shouldn't apply to that. She could've forgotten about—well, never mind, she probably couldn't have, but still! She could have at least administered a less harsh punishment—maybe she should have broken his glasses or something…

On one hand, she knew she couldn't stand it if she just told herself, "Oh, you know, you deserve it for sleeping with him without thinking because you know, (insert slut shaming phrase here)," because she knew what she wanted and she knew what she got herself into.

But at the same time, she was mad because he used her in his sick novels—but then again, shouldn't she be flattered in some manner? What if she was just blowing everything out of proportion? Why didn't she just talk to him about it in the first place instead of storm off and do something as reckless as possibly destroying someone's career? Even if it was for the sake of her dignity?

Tired of all the back-tracking and second-guessing, she decided maybe it would be good to study in an area with actual people to keep her sane. She packed up her books, thinking about where the nearest café was on campus.

.

.

.

In the macchiato-indulged warmth of the over-popularized café, Naruto felt right at home. Although he wasn't much of a coffee, tea, or caffeine-consumer in the slightest, the warmth was a nice change from the rather chilly outside campus. He sighed to himself and slumped over his cup of instant ramen—it was as if the souls of his professors permeated the campus and decided to proclaim finals week as a week in Dante's Hell.

(Ooh, not a bad metaphor if he could say so himself. He might just have to jot that down somewhere.)

In any case, he was having the time of his life procrastinating a little bit before he buckled down to the books and then hoped that he'd studied well enough for each test.

Grimacing at the thought, Naruto decided to shoo those thoughts away with some slurps of ramen—and then maybe get to ordering a cup of matcha green tea, perhaps.

A gentle tinkling of the bells atop the door and a brisk wind alerted the café of a newcomer.

Naruto glanced up with curious eyes to find a girl with pink hair shiver her way in through the doorway. Hey, he thought, that's that one chick from teme's psych class who comes late all the time. He had known her as a great student from high school; during high school, he had talked to her occasionally when they happened to be waiting at school together while they were waiting for the doors to open, but nothing ever past grades and such. The conversations were always short, quick, and rather shallow—just the way two classmates would talk.

So it wasn't hard to believe when Naruto quirked an eyebrow at her when she made her way over to him. He glanced back and forth.

Left.

Right.

Underneath his instant cup of ramen.

Did he have something she wanted?

Wait.

Holy crap, she really was coming toward him.

Naruto cracked a friendly, awkward smile and waved, despite being a little self-conscious about how stiff his arm was (was that a good wave? Probably not—oh God, what did he do). When she sat down in front of him and took out her laptop and sent him only a smile and a thank-you nod, he cleared his throat.

"So," Naruto said, "what brings you to my humble table, Sakura?"

She didn't look up, typing away and scribbling on a piece of paper in between. "The other tables were full. And this seems pretty big for one person to sit alone, so I thought I'd give you a bit of company." Then, she glanced up at him. "Shouldn't you be studying for—?"

"Oh, yeah," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I was gonna start on that after I finished my ramen n' stuff. Oh, but if I bother you with the slurping noises and stuff, just, ya'know, tell me and—"

Sakura laughed. "Calm down. It's the least I could probably do for busting into your territory."

"Oh. Okay."

After exchanging another round of awkward, closed-mouth smiles, they eased back into their relative, individual niches, Naruto slurping away at his ramen without a care in the world and Sakura hard at work, blending into the frantically studying (or procrastinating) crowd.

Now, Naruto was a nice guy. At most times he tried to be. He tried to be nice and friendly and all-around a conversation starter. But as much as he tried, he couldn't find it in himself to find a way to start a conversation without mentioning some sort of school work (after all, that's what she was mostly known for in his mind)—which meant potentially annoying her.

Which meant potentially losing a potential procrastination partner.

Which meant sad Naruto.

And although she thought she was being discreet about it, Naruto had caught her eying him a couple of times before looking back uncomfortably towards her screen and then doodling a little on her paper before attempting to study again. When it came to fake-studying, Naruto knew how to do it best—and thus, he was able to spot it best.

Whatever it was that was bothering her, he really wished that she'd come out and say it so that the awkward silence and awkward back-and-forth staring would stop already.

Sighing through his nostrils, Naruto decided that maybe he would get that matcha tea and excused himself silently from the table, glancing to see if he had disturbed her and—once confirming that she was still in between studying and not-studying—walked as quickly as he could to the cash register.

Or maybe he should've walked more slowly so that he wouldn't have to come back to the table faster…

Darn, why didn't he think of that in the first place?

(This is why he wasn't the genius—and why he really should get started on that studying he had planned for himself before he ended up cramming the nights before…)

Unfortunately for awkward-silence-phobic Naruto, the matcha green tea came out as quickly as it could, thanks to the impeccable efficiency of the barista (darn you, barista-san). He took a nice, long, leisurely sip and hauled his ass back to the table with much difficulty.

Maybe he should stop once and a while to admire the scenery or find someone else he knew…

No, wait, he couldn't do that anymore.

Because, ya'know—Sakura was just casually looking right at him out of the corner of her eyes, expectantly.

When he was in ear shot, he saw her roll her eyes. "Just sit down already, Naruto. I won't bite—jeez."

With a sheepish toothy grin, Naruto eased himself into his chair, wanting to ooze down the back of his seat and into an abyss that he hoped would come and swallow him whole. Out of all the tables, really, why did his happen to be the empty one tonight to be available for a person of the exact opposite work ethic of him? Did someone controlling a series of unfortunate events decide that he should feel bad about himself and perhaps "enjoy" a bit of cognitive dissonance (ooh, application of psych term—score!) to guilt-trip him into studying earlier than the planned schedule?

Of course, Naruto didn't have to worry about that any longer.

His keen ears heard a soft 'ahem' and he blinked, realizing that he had blanked out and that Sakura was staring at him expectantly, albeit a bit nervously.

"Naruto…" she said, slowly, not looking at him in the eye.

He braced himself for a question about which sections he recommended she should study in order to put him to shame.

"… are you—are you good friends with Uchiha-sensei?"

Naruto blinked, his eyes wide. He dug a pinky into his ear to make sure he heard her right. "Uh… yeah?" He put his cup of tea down and narrowed his eyes to tiny, curious slits. "Why? Is this about the final? Because if it is, teme says that he's not playing favorites, and that includes me—"

"No, no, not at all," Sakura said, waving that preposterous idea out of the way. "I just wanted to know if he tends to…" Naruto watched as Sakura struggled to find the right words. "… be inappropriate with his students."

Life for Naruto was full of little surprises. First, straight-A, hikkikimori Sakura came up to him after many years of ignoring him; then she attempted to make conversation outside of conversational niceties and schoolwork; then that conversation was about his friend teme-sensei and his professionalism with his students. It was like all the conversation he should have had with Sakura the many years before seemed to come tumbling into his lap.

Naruto laughed. "What? Teme being inappropriate?" He smacked his forehead and held his belly as if he needed to hold all his laughter inside himself, shaking his head. "No way! I mean, god forbid that that guy would even break his diet regimen. Like, not following that alone would make him implode or something, ha!"

He didn't notice his seatmate's troubled gaze as she seemed to sink lower into her seat, attempting to hide behind her laptop monitor.

Getting himself together and not mindful at all of the stares he had managed to garner, he wiped a tear from the corner of his eyes. "Oh man, that's funny. I wouldn't even think that he'd have a sex drive even."

Sakura stood up abruptly, almost tilting the table over and forcing Naruto to scramble for his cup of tea. She packed up her stuff and threw her coat over her shoulders before she said a brief, "I have to go, thanks" and sped-walked out the door.

Naruto watched her go. When the breeze from the opening door faded, he frowned and scratched the back of his head. "What's her problem?"

-xxx-

Sakura dragged herself to the testing facility. Finally—the end of the line. She had managed to pull herself out of bed and tell herself that she'd only have to see him just once more and then she wouldn't ever have to see him again.

God, for the first time in her life she was questioning whether she could actually sit through another three hour test. Sleep didn't exactly agree with her last night; it felt like the sand master was playing a game of catch-the-string with her. She had all her "utensils" and what not, but all she had had for breakfast was a cup of coffee and her stomach was almost barking at her.

Sakura took a deep breath. No use getting panicked over this. She knew the material; all she'd have to do was be able to have enough stamina to push through.

She pushed through the doors and made her way towards the front, glad that she was a little early to find a seat for herself (and early enough to avoid He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named).

As she sank her head into her arms to relax a little bit and watched as others filed into the room with jittery hands in the midst of their own balancing acts with pencils and erasers, she cracked her knuckles and listened carefully to the instructions, noting the time limit and the end time as Uchiha-sensei droned in that (stupid) drone of his.

She tried her best to look as indifferent as possible when he came to hand her the test packet.

Although her inner self told her specifically that she should absolutely, positively avoid his eyes at all cost, Sakura thought chancing a look wouldn't hurt, especially if she was going to show him how indifferent she could be to his presence.

When she looked up to him, she jolted—a little uneasy at the fact that he was already staring back at her expectantly. (Gosh, why did she never listen to herself, she completely forgot about how sexy those eyes were, gah, noooo.)

He cleared his throat awkwardly, making her straighten in expectation. "Haruno-san, please refrain from wasting anymore of my time and please take your test from me."

Oh.

Oh.

She took the test from him with both hands and stared at a spot on her table, wishing that she could slowly sink through her chair and into the ground when she heard the others snickering from behind her.

The rest of the testing day, however, went without a hitch. Although she felt she could have done better, she decided that she had done well enough to get the grade she wanted (even though she managed to wake up halfway through the test, so maybe that was just wishful thinking).

But when it was over, she couldn't help but take one last glance behind her to stare at him, organizing the tests on his desk and adjusting his glasses that she knew he never really needed. She sighed, heaved her bag over her shoulder, and merged with the crowd to leave the testing facility.

-xxx-

Sasuke eyed his editor as he plunked the manuscript onto the wooden desk. He leaned back in his chair and rolled the glasses off his face, giving his editor a dead-on stare. "Well?"

His editor filed through the papers again, glancing at a couple of highlighted and penned spots. "This seems different from your previous works."

"I don't care if it's different as long as you think it's good."

"Good?" said his editor as he paper-clipped the leaves of paper together again. "It's great! Although most erotica doesn't have a very solid plotline, you've managed to add erotica-level smut in most of the scenes and make a heart-wrenching storyline. It's brilliant!"

Sasuke let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding onto. He stood up and held out a hand to his editor. "Thank you very much."

His editor grabbed his hands with both of his own and shook Sasuke's hand vigorously. "Please, Jiraiya-sensei, the pleasure's all mine!"

.

.

.

It was almost time for the med school applications and everyone was frantic. Including a supposedly-not-freaking-out med school applicant.

After tugging on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and dragging Ino out of the bed by her feet to stick to the grocery store date they had agreed to—because honestly, campus food wasn't all that healthy and pizza each day—Sakura trekked to the produce isle, not heading Ino's complaints about how she may like salad, but cooking much else was way too much work.

And Sakura tried her best to empathize with Ino, but as she held up one group of greens in one hand and a foret of broccoli in another, she tried to calm herself. She needed a recommendation letter by a professor who knew her fairly well as a part of the application process—but throughout her entire career, she only had one professor who she bothered to get close to who would be a perfect candidate for the recommendation letter writing.

She ran some numbers through her head. It'd had been about four months since she last saw him and she honestly didn't want to see him again after embarrassing herself and not wanting to compromise any of her dignity and her pride—she wasn't an easy woman and didn't want to be seen as such, and to talk to him again felt like a regression to her.

Sighing, she decided that maybe she'd visit the book isle again to see if any good erotica had come out recently since Ino was off flirting with some employee who was helping her find some tasty cereal. She had been trying other authors' novels but couldn't really manage to get past the first couple of chapters (honestly, how hard was it to write porn?). Although she wasn't partial to "Jiraiya-sensei" the writer, she really did enjoy his novels and regretted burning her old novels so hard (did they even sell them anymore?).

And ever since she had deleted his last manuscript, it seemed like she might just have ruined the career of the most well-known erotic literary artists ever.

Sakura picked up a book and huffed. "Hi," she said under her breath in a mock-enthusiastic voice, "I'm Sakura. Oh, you like Jiraiya-sensei's novels? Well, guess what? I actually met the dude! He's not some wart-covered creep who stares into girls' bathrooms for inspiration, he's actually this really hot, dorky professor who wears glasses to keep chicks from attacking him, and I had sex with him and got mad because he made me a star in one of his novels!"

She frowned at a novel with whips and chains on the front and shoved it into the back of the novel pile. Someone else would thank her for that later. "So yeah," she said to herself again, "I practically destroyed his life for that because yeah, and now I can't talk to him because my stupid dignity won't let me do it. Oh, what's that? You hate me?" She put another book aside. "Great!"

Just as she was about to give up on ever reading erotic literature altogether, she screeched to a halt when she saw an orange cover she wouldn't ever forget.

It was a small, paperback bound novel with a pink heart covering the middle of the front cover. In front of the heart, two lovers stared angry, electric, competitive sparks into each other's eyes. Underneath the picture in neat, printed kanji said "Jiraiya."

She picked it up, her heart thumping in her chest, and slowly put it in her basket. When she rechecked her list to make sure she got everything she needed and dragged Ino away from the employee, she walked as calmly as she could to the checkout counters.

As the cashier scanned the novel, her eyes widened. "Oh, this is the new novel, isn't it?"

Sakura nodded meekly as she placed her money into the provided basket next to the cash register as carefully as she could.

"Oh, sumimasen gozaimasu," the cashier said, remembering the professionalism protocol between employee and cashier deposited the change into the basket before she gave a little bow. "Thank you and have a nice day!"

.

.

.

As soon as they got back into the dorms, Sakura ran into her room and slammed her door shut, ignoring Ino's calls and protests about putting the groceries away all by herself. Locking the door behind her, she slid down to the ground and slowly opened the book.

Scanning the pages as quickly as she could, she discovered that this wasn't a traditional erotica—it was something different from the traditional erotica, although it still had smut scenes in about the same frequency.

Told from the perspective of a young man (which was strange because most surrounded a female perspective), it was a story about him writing erotica while using a day job to cover up his identity. The drama surrounded the young man and a girl (who had gotten very curious with his true identity), playing mind games with each other while they eventually fell in love.

Sakura's eyes widened at the mentioning of a Miyazaki-themed haunted house—and then a key sex scene that caught her breath.

"As I kissed down her body," she mouthed to herself, "I watched as she squirmed beautifully under my fingertips; I'd never seen another woman like I'd seen her before. She glowed with an innocence I was sad to say that I lost."

She swallowed down a lump in her throat and continued to read.

"When I spread her apart, she blushed and covered herself, but I could see how pink she was. I couldn't help but want to restrain her, hold both her wrists in one of my fists as I held her lips apart. My breath ghosting along her slit, I finally couldn't take any more waiting and plunged my tongue into…"

She felt herself growing hot from reading one of these novels for the first time and hid her face into the book for a while before she pushed through and read it to the end.

She closed the novel and looked at the spine, tracing the title. For the first time in a long time, she smiled and closed her eyes, letting real, fresh, and long withheld tears go.

Picking herself up, she dusted herself off and looked through her closet for something nice to wear.

-xxx-

When Sasuke reached his office, he was indeed expecting her to be there.

And there she stood, by his desk like she always did after class, staring at him expectantly as he made his way at a leisurely pace towards his desk.

He decided to play dumb. "How may I help you, Sak—?"

She threw an orange novel onto his desk and stared at him expectantly. "Explain yourself," she said, trying to keep her voice level.

"If you already read it, then it gives you all the explanation you need," Sasuke said, leaning back in his chair.

She didn't budge. After a moment of silence, she said, quietly, "What did you mean when you said that I was the only one?"

Sasuke stared back at her for a moment. Then, he took the novel and opened it to a seemingly random page.

"Hey, I asked you a—"

" 'I only found the courage in myself to speak once she left,'" he read in a drone as if he were forced to read to a young child. " 'Staring at the firebrand of desk utensils and the broken computer monitor, I whispered, "You were the only one."'" His tone got softer, gentler. " 'And she was. She was the only one I had made love to out of other women who I had only used for my own literary gains.'"

Then, he glanced up at her, making something inside her twist and turn awfully strangely. "She was the only woman who managed to look past the windows of my glasses and into that of my soul."

After that, he closed the book and set it down. Taking off his glasses and setting them down on the desk, he came around and smirked down at her, making her think to herself what on earth she was doing, staying away from this man. In a soft, husky grumble, he said, "I thought you could retain what you read, Ms. A-Student."

She punched him lightly in the chest before she gave him a soft, tiny smile. "Are you going to kiss me or not?"

Without further ado, he lifted her chin up with two delicate fingers and pressed a soft, sweet kiss into her lips, feeling her smile into the kiss. Giving her a slight nip and then a peck on the cheek, Sasuke stared down at her, stroked her cheek, and gazed at her face.

Sakura smiled shyly at the ground. "Sorry I, uh… destroyed your life's work the first time." With a little grunt of forgiveness, Sakura perked up and said, "Oh! I almost forgot! I need this recommendation letter for med school and…"

-xxx-

Sakura stared blankly at the television, flipping from one channel to the next. What on earth was there to do on a weekend at your boyfriend's house?

In any case, she decided to settle for the news. After scanning the running headlines of certain kidnapping cases and domestic violence issues, she settled into the couch and prepared for an afternoon nap when something caught her ears.

She jolted up and leaned towards the television, turning up the volume. Confirming what she had heard, she yelled, "Sasuke, come here, quick!"

When he didn't respond, she ran into his room and dragged him out by his arm despite his protesting and sat him down hard onto the couch.

"What the hell, Sakura?"

Sakura held a finger to her lips. "Shh, just listen!" she said and turned up the volume some more.

"… Japanese adult novelist Jiraiya-sensei's most recent novel has been talked about being, quote, 'one of the most interesting adult novels in history,' and 'another very beloved novel.' The novel is currently being rumored to be one of the nominees for a very well-known adult novel prize."

She put her hands in front of him, as if she were making headlines with her palms. " 'Judging a Book,' national best seller by Japanese novelist Jiraiya-sensei wins the Adult Fiction Award." Sakura hugged Sasuke and squealed before she turned to give him a small peck on the lips. "Didn't expect that, now didja?"

Sasuke smirked and flipped the TV off before he grabbed his girlfriend and pulled her down beneath him, reveling in the way she squealed and mock-pushed him away. "Not in the slightest," he responded, kissing her neck. "But right now, I see another happy ending that I'm going to take advantage of."

Fin.

-xxx-

Author's note: Aaaaaand that's a wrap!

Thank you all who reviewed and stuck with the story, ladies and gentlemen, one and all!

Special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter: Animegirly, Bloomart124, Blossom Duchess, Charlenea, cutecookiechick, Daniratoe, Erin, Guest, IcePrincess01, ILoveSxS, kEa-cHiI, MizukiYukiko, my-name-is-V, xStarryyAngellx, and websterdevil