~vVv~

It's been a few days since Alfred locked himself in his room. All the stress had finally collapsed over his head and crushed him. He mostly just sat on his bed's headboard all day, too afraid to sleep. The nightmares would come...they always did.

"I wish I had a T.V..." he whined.

Alfred looked over to his nightstand to look at the time. "Midnight…" he yawned. "I'll just rest my eyes real quick." He mumbled wiggling under the sheets.

After a few minutes he opened them again. "What the hell?"

He was standing on sandy open ground, the sun beaming down on him. Alfred raised a hand to cover his eyes. "Ah" A gloved hand? He was wearing his old camouflage uniform with a rifle strapped to his side.

Suddenly explosions went off all around him but he didn't move, his body wouldn't allow it. He could feel small pieces of metal slice his skin as grenades continued to go off near him. It was funny, how not one was thrown close enough to kill him.

Then there were shouts. Alfred looked over to see a group of men charging into the chaos.

"N-no! Can't you see it's not safe! You'll die! Fall back!" Alfred shouted.

They paid no heed and to Alfred's horror an explosion went off right under their feet. Their bodies flew, limbs ripped off and cries of pain could be heard loud and clear. Somehow blood splashed onto the side of his face.

Alfred swallowed down the hysteria building up inside him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and saw a familiar Russian next to him.

"Would you like to try and prove me wrong again?" Ivan asked, oblivious to his surroundings.

"P-prove what?" Alfred croaked

"That there's NOTHING wrong with you." He smiled "Why look at your mind stupid American. Its falling apart…da?"

Alfred screwed his eyes shut and felt a loud sob escape his lips. When he opened his eyes again he was back safely tucked away in his bed. He shifted to bury his face into his pillow and cry as loud as he wanted.

~vVv~

*Next Morning*

Ivan sat in his boss's office happily gulping down some vodka from a flask.

"Alfred should be coming back to work today." He chirped

Ludwig looked up momentarily from his work on his desk. "Indeed, I actually have to talk to him about something important."

"Which is?" Ivan pressed

"What is your interest so suddenly?"

"Yeah, what's your angle commie?" someone added.

"Alfred..." Ivan said, seeing the American walk through the door. "You look..."

The American glared.

Ivan chuckled to himself.

Alfred knew he looked like shit. What with the sleepless days and not eating properly from all the stress. Since he actually had to move this morning he wished he stopped for a burger or something.

"Mr. Jones we have more pressing matters to deal with. Sit." Ludwig said motioning to sit in front of his desk.

The blonde walked towards the desk and stopped short in front of the chair. "If it's alright I'll stand. I got to sit plenty while I was off duty."

"Very well, now I got a call from you therapist that you've been skipping sessions. You've ignored all of her calls. I see this as something serious."

"With all due respect she isn't even my therapist to begin with. I went once and hated it. She told me everything I already knew so I don't need to see her."

Ludwig tapped his pen against the desk. "She also told me you need to be taking these sessions under military orders."

"I'm not in the military!" he snapped back "They don't give two shits about me anymore! So why should you care?"

"I believe you were the one who tried to point a gun at my lover were you not?" the German stated bluntly.

Alfred cringed.

"I'll give you new inspiration. Take these sessions or you're fired. Now get out. You've put me in a foul mood. I believe Ivan is one body guard enough at the moment." Ludwig said waving his hand.

"Yes sir." Alfred turned around and exited the room.

Ludwig sighed "I know you want to follow him. You have 20 minutes tops."

Ivan giggled childishly and quickly got up to follow after the American.

Alfred shoved his hands into his pockets and walked down the halls with his back hunched over. "If it's not one thing it's another." He grumbled.

Just as he approached the exit stairwell a hand was placed on his shoulder to stop him. Alfred went stiff. Ivan was standing there…the same way as the Ivan in his dream. He wasn't sure how to respond.

"What is the rush comrade? I want to speak with you." Ivan said gripping the others shoulder.

Alfred growled, trying to shrug the hand off.

Ivan's hand only gripped tighter, "Comrade, be calm. It's just me, da?"

"Somehow that doesn't comfort me." Alfred spat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ivan smiled pushing an elevator button next to the exit doors.

The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open. Ivan shoved the American into the space, and then followed.

Ivan looked down at the American, eyes calm. A controlled smile stayed on his face as the blonde's blue eyes darted about.

Ivan could see the others pupils dilate and retract, as if the light was shifting into them as the small cabin moved down the shaft. He turned to push the emergency button to stop the elevator than went over to kneel down in front of Alfred.

"What do you see? Reality or that violent past of yours?"

Alfred gasped, clenching his head as his surroundings changed from the elevator and Ivan to a terrorist and a cramped damp cave. "S-stop! Please! I c-can't tell! It's like I'm in between…my head hurts!"

Ivan took a handful of the American's hair and lightly pulled up so he was looking straight at him. Nothing was said. Blue eyes stared into velvet ones.

Alfred's lip quivered "A-alright I get it."

"Get what?"

"I-I need help…I won't run away anymore" he cried