(Dear) Finn, (I'm writing this because)

I don't know why I'm writing this dude. It's been a month and 1 day you know, too long man too long. You'd never guess where I am now, you'd freak out. Remember that fort we built when we were 11. Yeah, course you do. I found it, back of the cemetery, no one's touched it. I found this notebook. I ripped out some of the pages, I'll leave them for you later with this, you'll have fun reading them, the adventures of Puckosaurus and Finnotaur you gotta remember those; I reckon we could get them published.

Hope you don't mind but I'm wearing your shirt, the one you got from the Dashboard Confessional concert when we were 14, it's way too big on me frankenteen, I can still smell the glow stick gunk on it. You remember we practically painted ourselves in it, then your Mom told us it was toxic, you won't remember but I stayed awake that whole night to make sure you were okay. Can't have my best friend being poisoned can I?

I borrowed your aftershave as well, I think it suits me better than you personally, but it smells of you, not me. (I miss your smell)

(I cried for an hour last night) I fell asleep on the choir room floor yesterday, alone. I found all the old photo albums of us, should've seen the place, I covered the floor. Some of them got a bit wet, sorry, you know allergies and that. found me in the morning, his face was priceless, dude I went a whole day without a shower for you.

I shaved off my Mohawk, you always said you preferred me without it. I feel like that Samson dude, I lost my sex shark powers.

I had to clear out your locker last Monday. You had some crap in there dude, I think half of it was alive...By the way, that Winston dude loves Big Brother in the end. You hadn't finished it, I wouldn't let them return it to English, they can't take your stuff away. I didn't move the bookmark though, don't worry, I wouldn't lose your place.

I picked out what it said on your headstone, you'll like it, if you get to see it, I don't know what the whole situation with heaven is. If you see God, pass him my hellos tell him I've been meaning to pray and stuff but I lost my Kippah.

It's not the same without you man.

Not that I'm gonna cry or shit, too bad ass.

But I miss you.

I wish you'd come home, or wake up or talk to me or just fuck.

People keep talking about you in the past, like was and stuff, I keep telling them not to, I bet that'll piss you off, I know you are still here, not was. Stupid people.

I remember our last conversation. We were talking about the Buckeyes and Michigan State. You told me that you'd still be my best friend if I supported Michigan...

I(loved) love you dude.

You know in a non-gay way.