Yeah...this is my first Hetalia Axis Powers one-shot short fan fiction. I hope I'll be able to do this fan fiction simple, short and well. I just had this in mind, so I decided to type this directly into this site. ^_^

ENJOY READING, FOLKS!

REVIEWS ARE HIGHLY ACCEPTED.

I DON'T OWN HETALIA AND ITS CHARACTERS. XD

January 1, 2011

Saturday

It's been a new year. Another year to hope for things to change now. Another year for the worst and the best days to come. Most importantly, another year to settle things up with everything.

While I was writing this, I was busy making my New Year's Resolution. This has been my "panata" every New Year, and I was determined to do all of them bit by bit.

Now, I'm pouring out my feelings. Please allow me to do this. I guess this is for my own benefit, to ease my pain away.

You see, I lived for a very long time. I almost gained everything-good or bad. Better or worse.

My heart almost shattered into pieces. I can clearly remember what had happened those awful days. It feels like I was living dead into this hell. Probably I wouldn't mind spending my time, sulking myself deeply in desperate measures after I was taken by those people from other races…which I don't know which race they belong to. I was being held tightly in bondage. My entire soul was captivated by those ruthless invaders, wanting to take me over. After three hundred years or more, I gained temporary freedom. Until that very time, many Westerns aimed to take me and control me generally. Yes, the more I wanted to gain my independence, the more nations wanted me more. It was hell, I can say. I'm not saying that I'm not open to strangers. It's that aching steel ring of oppression around my neck, choking me to death, was the most torturing thing I'm thinking about. I guess those aliens never had a heart of their own.

Some of them don't have a heart. Maybe others have it, but using that heart to use me and everything that I had. I don't know whether I should trust them or not. Is that what a nation like me was designed and created, to encounter such foreign relations which I can consider as…two-facetiousness? However, I had experienced many things. I fell head over heels in love and defeat with my fellow nations. I experienced to get deep wounds, which are not easy to heal-physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm not different from humans when it come to emotions like these. I experience all of them.

Yet, I'm still determined to be free. My people never failed me. My homeland never failed me. Still, I'm worrying about them…suffering all this pain for the sake of love and patriotism in my behalf. No one can deny what my people had done just to set me free. They risked everything, I know. The best way to pay them back is to take good care of them as long as I'm here...existing as a country; as a nation.

I wouldn't mind getting hurt or tortured...I'm doing this for my sake and for my people. Even though, nowadays they're leaving me behind: wasting all their efforts patronizing those things which the Westerns provided, like spending their time watching those Koreanovelas at their homes, listening to KPOP, RnB and other music genres from other countries, watching foreign films (which hurts me...because they never know that a few of their fellowmen aspiring as film makers and film directors, has made a mark on the world in their own professions), and buying those products from other nations. Not to mention that they're now living in a modern, technology world. I had lived long; I know each and every single event happening in my home. Despite of the fact that most of my people never appreciated me...I will always keep my arms wide open for them. I'll open up my whole self, serving them. I'm not expecting for anything in return, nor I'm hoping that my people will take good care of me once I got into trouble. I do admit that I was still depending on those countries, whom I owe a lot, including the thing about gaining my freedom...it's quite a different case when your own people and your own race are the ones who'll defend you and protect you.

Would I still achieve that feeling of security, love and peace? Wars, conflicts, corruption, poverty, lack of discipline, disobedience to the laws of the land, and colonial mentality-all of these became the parts of my system. I was struggling to find ways to solve all of them. However, my people tend to possess those things-money, power, self-satisfaction and fame push them to do such despicable things. Sometimes, I find them hard to handle, now that the scenarios are getting worse every day.

I still love my people, no matter what. I don't mind if they don't appreciate me now. All I care about is to find solutions, bringing new light and hope for them. Everything has their own room for change. Some day, I'll attain that change which my people desires to have-something that a few nations had achieved at this era.

I'll be the one standing on the top, raising myself in exultation, proving to my fellow nations that I, too, will become a prosperous nation. They'll see. They'll see.

To all those countries who became a part of my entire past:

Spain - You've been with me, for three hundred years or so. You've taken me over entirely. You've done many things; almost all of those things were oppressive, while some of them benefit me. I won't regret that day when I started to protest about my independence from you. I was totally mad, you were harsh and brutal. You killed many people from my race. But I owe a lot of things from you. That's the proof that I still respect you by carrying all those traditions you had passed on me, most importantly when you taught me about God. I hope that we'll fully reconcile our conflicts one day.

China - You've been one of my eldest brother since those old times. I know that it's kind of hard for me to adjust from all of the things I gained from you. I am hoping that things will always get well despite of our differences and conflicts.

England - Two years since you've occupied my capital, and I haven't known you better. Nowadays, we've been connected due to our currency exchange rates, foreign relations and stuff like that. I had perceived you once as that ruthless, bloodshed-loving pirate with a potty mouth. Hah! Despite of that...maybe we can settle that. Maybe I was wrong to see you as a bad nation. I know you had that soft spot of yours. Just let it out.

Japan - Yes, you...the one who've been influenced me a lot. One of the most brutal nation I've encountered, but one of the most fascinating and interesting country I've met. I'll never forget that you killed many people and soldiers during that war. I'll never forgive you for that. But I hope that though we still have connections, we'll fully set aside our past and further fix this relationship. (Oh, by the way, thanks for introducing me those animes!)

America - You're the one I'm depending now. You've been my hero and my savior. I am free, yet I'm dependent on you. You're my brother, after all.

Those other countries I've never mentioned...I hope that you'll see me as equal as you. It doesn't matter which race you're in or what do you look like. What matters is that we're all equal and special in our own ways. You'll definitely see what I'm made of one day.

MARIA CLARA DE LA CRUZ

(Philippines)