Set During: (Season 5)

I still am not the owner of any TV programmes

I am listening to him sleep, the soft breathing seeps into my consciousness like a promise. Other than this he is still; spread eagled across the bed, taking up more than his fair share. I don't mind.

I gently brush my finger down his cheek and in his stupor he turns towards me, and I think he must be dreaming because he smiles. I wonder if he is dreaming of me.

His shoulders catch the light of a street lamp outside and I begin to count the freckles scattered across them. I feel them dance under my hands.

He sighs at my touch and I smile. I ache inside at the thought that something so real, so human, has become a common part of my life; that I can lie and watch him sleep night after night and never fail to appreciate the wonder of him. That my body can cry out for him until my soul is satisfied.

I fear it is a form of worship: this beautiful man beside me; this feeling that creeps up upon my heart.

In a few hours he will wake, will stretch, will run his hand over my face and blink in the light of a new day.

But for now I revel in his eyes which are closed – the soft skin of the lids, the long lashes that shade the secrets of his face. My world calms to look at him. For a while I can pretend it is not coming to an end; that he and I can lie like this forever – stretching love out into eternity.

I want to wake him. To taste his mouth in the dark. I want him to lay his hands on me – to leave his fingerprints scattered over my skin like a memory.

And as he breathes I feel complete. I feel safe.

I almost feel human.