First of all I'd like to thank everyone who has ever read or reviewed this story, this chapter wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you. I somehow lost that incredible mikita feeling there, but you guys with your kind words and patience brought it back. Thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's for you guys, cause your all awesome. I don't own Nikita and the rest.

"A bit dramatic don't you think?"

Nikita's voice cut through the tension that had been building ever since Michael had shown up at her meet with Ryan. Her hands were placed at the back of her head as instructed and she turned slowly to meet Michael's eyes as he locked the door they had just entered through. The hand holding the gun didn't waver as he took a few steps closer to her, their eyes locked in a silent battle, each with their own questions, their own hurt.

"I don't know what to think"

He seemed to regret the almost softly spoken words immediatley and his eyes turned hard once again, showing that cynical glint in them that she hated. The look that told her that he still knew better than her, was better than her. At least acoording to him.

Michael cursed himself for letting that out. He couldn't afford to show her the conflict that raged inside him, couldn't let her know that despite everything, despite everything she'd done, despite everything he'd done, he still cared. He couldn't let her have that power over him, because this thing between them had always been a fight. To see who would break and who would do it first. It was always a tug and pull with them, one gaining a little only to lose a bit more.

Nikita tried to stop the shiver racing down her spine from manifesting itself in her body language. She needed to control this, needed to know that she was still in control, even though he was the one with the gun. "Like returning to the scene of the crime huh?" She smiled and let her eyes drift around his apartment. Her eyes lingered on the counter in the kitchen before her eyes snapped back to his. In them she saw the memory of what they'd done play out like a movie without sound. Suddenly she felt sad. This wasn't them, but at the same time it was and always had been. The fights, the tension, the lingering feeling of something passing by them without any chance of catching it. It hurt as much as it always did. It was just harder to ignore when he was standing in front of her wearing the look that told her that he couldn't trust her. He had once, she recalled sadly. Had been the one he had trusted most. But in order to free herself from the bounds of steel that kept her down she had to leave him behind. She had freed herself, but she had lost him in the process. "What do you want Michael?" She asked, her voice soft and just a little bit tired.

Her soft words only seemed to anger him more. "You know what. Wasn't that your whole plan?" He smiled a bitter smile. He had hated himself many times before, so when the feeling came he recogniced it for what it was.

She knew, just like always what he was talking about. "I didn't plan this".

"Right" he scoffed.

"It's true" She shrugged "I told you what the deal was. Don't tell me you can't handle it?" Please tell me you can't. Tell me you've thought about me just as much as I have thought about you. Please tell me you need me too, if only for one more night...

His eyes turned sharp and he steadied his grip on the gun. He prepared himself to tell her to go, to get the hell out of his apartment and his life. He was the one who had brought her here, he hadn't known why other than that they needed to talk, he wanted answers, but now he couldn't remember the questions. He just knew that he wanted her, and he hated himself for it. He should have known that once they'd been together it would be impossible to let it go. It was Nikita, the girl he'd loved, and the woman he'd lost.

"Michael"

Nikita's voice cut through to him and he focused on her face again. "What do you want?" She asked again, her eyes telling him that it was okay.

"You already know" He couldn't say it again. The more he said the more he lost, and he couldn't afford to lose anything else now.

She knew. Her anger at him dimmed a little as she took in the tortured look in his eyes. It wasn't easy for him, she knew, but she couldn't come to him again. She cared more about him than anyone else, but as always it was also about power with them, and she'd lost it once, this time he had to take that step for them to be on even ground.

"I do" She spoke softly, a challenge in her eyes.

She wouldn't come to him, he read it in her eyes and not for the first time he cursed her stubborn nature. She was going to force him, damn her. "I don't trust you" He told her, the words cold and clipped.

It hurt, but she shrugged it off and adopted a cool look. "Your going to have to".

A few seconds ticked by before he slowly lowered his gun a little bit and took the steps seperating them. He stopped close to her, the tip of the gun pointed straight at her heart. She could feel the cold metal through her clothes, a sharp contrast to the warmth his breath provided as he exhaled slowly. He leaned forward and the gun pressed a little tighter as his lips met hers in a soft kiss. His lips burned as he pulled back after a second and looked into her eyes. "It's just this one time" he whispered. Just like the first time. She nodded but didn't move. He looked down at his gun pointed at her heart, he pressed a little before sliding it down, the nuzzle taking the hem of her clothing with it. He swallowed at the sight of her bare skin. Beautiful, as always. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers, his lips meeting her ear lightly in a caress. "This has to be the last time".

A moan left her mouth as his tongue trailed slowly down her neck. His hands swept over her body slowly, removing clothing like it was made of gold and it dropped to the floor silently. When she was naked she looked up at him, meeting his eyes, a shy smile on her face. She let the smile drop and walked backwards and he followed. When she got to his bedroom she turned her back to him and then he was there, his arms around her stomach and his lips on her neck.

"Please" She gasped as his hands cupped her breast.

He walked towards the bed and directed her to lay down on it. She did and when she turned on her back he had gotten rid of his clothes and were standing at the end of the bed gazing at her. He took a seat next to her and placed his hand on her hip lightly at first and then he pulled and she straddled his lap without hesitation. He scooted backwards so the wall supported him, he bent his knees a little and she slid forward, two twin groans escaping them when their skin met. Their eyes met and in that moment with desperation shining through both of their eyes they were both struck by the same thought, that this whatever it was would destroy them. End them.

They froze, sweat forming on their bodies and their breath mingling together. And then they moved at the same time, their lips met and he slid into her. Their gasp was that of a junkie finally getting his fix after days of doing without, and when they moved it was with the same desperation as a man dying of thirst searching for his oasis.