Controlling The Monster

Summary: The monster inside of Stefan needs to be controlled and Damon is the only one able to.
Warnings: Stefan/Damon, incest, mansex, slight language, some blood... If that's not your thing, back off.
A/N: What's this? A VD fic? Salvatore slash? When did this happen? You tell me. This only popped into my mind. Fun to write though.

x

Stefan stares at the curtain in the window. It doesn't let the sunlight in, but it clearly shows signs of daylight. Stefan's been waiting for the sun for hours.
He gets up from the bed, the ring has he left on the bedside table. He lays a steady hand on the curtain, ready to pull it aside. But then someone is quickly behind him, a stronger hand grasps his and stops it from moving.

"You shouldn't do that", Damon breathes in his ear, close and warm.

They don't move. They stand with chest lightly pressed against back and Stefan feels like exploding. He wants to shut it off now, knows he should do it, but Damon doesn't let him. It eats him up inside and it makes him feel like there's nothing left worth living for. He should just turn his feelings off, but Damon never lets him.
Stefan gives up and lowers his hand and he knows what will happen next. He can feel it by the way Damon's chest tenses up behind him. His older brother grabs his neck harshly and spins them both around, pushing Stefan face first down in the bed.

Damon wants and he takes everything Stefan has. He takes his body and his soul, takes him so hard Stefan wants to cry, but the only thing he does is scream. He doesn't want to give Damon the satisfaction. It's enough he was able to stop him from opening up the curtain.

x

They had loved each other once, like real brothers do. Now it was complicated, they don't love like they used to do, maybe they don't love at all. They just possess.
Stefan loves Elena now. Really loves. And Elena loves him just as much. Damon loves her too, but it's not like it matters. She'll grow old and die, and Stefan and Damon will once again be left with each other. Damon knows this and accepts it, Stefan knows this and does everything in his power not to think about it.

x

Stefan knows he's responsible for making Damon a monster, knows that Damon blames him for it. He knows Damon loved Katherine more than he'll ever love Elena. More than he'll ever love Stefan.
Stefan understands and never questions. It's not like talking is what they're good at.

Stefan knows what Damon really wants to do is kill him, but he's decided to fuck him up is funner. Damon will destroy what Stefan and Elena have, it's only a matter of time. Because even if they don't love each other like brothers should, or love each other at all, Stefan still belongs to Damon. Everything he is belongs to his older brother. Elena doesn't know that, neither would she understand it.

x

Stefan locks himself up in the cellar. Not because he has had blood and is turning insane, but because he needs to get away from it all. All meaning Damon. All meaning Elena.
She doesn't understand it and comes by and pleads for Stefan to unlock the door. She's terrified, Stefan can hear it in her voice. He barely answers anything she says.

"I won't leave until you come out of there", she says with tears in her eyes.

That's when Damon shows up and smirks like he always do. Stefan is the only one who doesn't get affected by it, the only one who can see right through it. Elena glares at him, blames him for letting Stefan lock himself up like this.

Damon ignores her and looks at Stefan. For long the brothers just stare at each other silently, Elena's eyes shifting between them. Damon knows. Their look says more than words could. Damon immediately knows and instead of doing anything he leaves.
Elena calls after him, tells him to get Stefan out of there. Damon ignores her and Stefan is glad.

x

Stefan is back out from the cellar just in time when Lexi comes to town. Damon has never liked her and Stefan guesses it's because Damon simply doesn't want him to have any friends. He wants Stefan to be alone and suffer.

"Do you and Damon still sleep in the same bed?" Lexi asks.

"No", Stefan says too quickly and she can read his lie.

She gets it, she really does. She knows they've got an unbreakable bond. A bond Stefan loathes. She encourages him to end it with Damon once and for all and be with the girl he loves. Be with Elena. Stefan wants to, he wants to so badly he thinks he's gonna go through with it.
But Damon is faster and he kills Lexi before Stefan has time to do anything. But it gives Stefan the strength he needs. He'll kill Damon for this. Elena begs him not to, but he won't listen.

This is his way out.

The brothers fight and it ends with Damon up against the wall, laughing. He doesn't think Stefan's got it in him. Stefan stabs him in the stomach hard and deep. Damon's obviously right, but that doesn't mean Stefan can't hurt him.

That night Stefan and Damon doesn't sleep in the same bed.

x

At least Damon apologizes and it feels good since Stefan knows Damon could have simply skipped it, gripped him tightly by the throat, slammed him up against a wall with Stefan's legs around his hips, and buried his dick deep inside Stefan's ass. But that doesn't happen and Stefan feels relieved.

x

When it finally happens Stefan has just bent over for Damon for what feels like the millionth time (and it probably is).

Damon is teasing him, traces kisses over Stefan's back and nibbles lightly. Suddenly he sinks his teeth into Stefan's shoulder blade deeply and starts sucking. He swallows his little brother's blood down his throat and Stefan starts to whimper. Damon holds his own wrist up to Stefan's mouth, but he hesitates and Damon notices it and sinks his teeth deeper into Stefan's flesh. Stefan bits into it and the blood tastes way better than he remembers it.

He can feel Damon move behind him, knows what will happen next, and a small tingling feeling erupts deep down in his stomach. Excitement.

He continues to suck on Damon's wrist, knows he probably looks like some obedient whore, and he feels his own blood dropping down onto the sheets colouring the bed red. The wound is healing slowly and he can feel he's got blood smeared over his whole back. Damon enters him the same time as he starts lapping at the smeared blood. Damon's tongue follows Stefan's spine, licking droplets of sweat and dried blood.

Damon never goes slow and tender, and Stefan doesn't want it that way anyway. It would be too much to handle. Stefan lets go of Damon's wrist and buries his head into a pillow. Damon pounds into him and Stefan's screams are muffled by the pillow. The screams are not only of pain and pleasure, but also shame, hate, guilt, love. Stefan knows Damon loves his screams and does everything in his power to get them out. Damon goes harder and Stefan pulls his head up, feels his fangs drop, and it feels like he roars (but he's probably just hissing).

He turns his head and that's when he sees it, sees her. Elena is standing by the door, staring at them with her mouth wide agape. Stefan thinks he's imagining her, but realizes he isn't. He wants to tell Damon to stop, they need to stop, but the words doesn't come out.

"Hello, Elena", Damon says with surprisingly steady voice.

Stefan wants this to stop now, it has to stop now, but he can't move, he can't do anything. Damon slows down his pounding, giving Stefan time to catch his breath.
Stefan realizes how grotesque and animalistic they must look like. Lots of blood in the bed, blood smeared over Stefan, blood around their mouths, fangs dropped, loud grunts and sweat.

"Take a look at the real Stefan", Damon says and strokes his little brother's hip.

Stefan can't think. Not at this moment, not with Damon. He can't hold back with Damon. He can control himself with Elena, but with Damon everything comes out. The monster inside of him.
Vampires are not dead people, vampires are creatures, animals. Predators. It's in their nature to hunt, to feed, to partly act like an animal.

Stefan looks away from Elena and knows this is so bad. He doesn't think it, he just knows.

He buries his head in the pillow again and screams loudly and jarringly. It hurts so much he can't bear it. The throbbing, the burning, the buzzing, the aching. Every muscle in his body screams at him and if Stefan hadn't been a vampire he's pretty sure he'd vomited by now.
He continues to scream and knows he's probably scaring Elena, but he can't keep it in, he has to let it out.
He feels Damon's hand on his lower back, stroking, like he's trying to soothe him. Stefan isn't far from crying now, but he just can't do it, he can't let Damon have that too. He fights to get air down his lungs (not that he needs it) and tries to pull himself together.

Damon has stopped his pounding, but is still inside Stefan, still claiming him right in front of Elena.

Would she ever get it? Would she ever understand? Would she understand that he doesn't only need her, but Damon too?

And it's not like he can ever escape Damon anyway. He thinks about compelling her later, maybe make Damon do it because it would stick better, but it wouldn't be right. He'd rather have her hate him than mess with her mind.
He had planned to tell her, but not like this. He couldn't explain it like this.

Was he even able explain it anyway?

Stefan's fingers grips the sheets harshly, his fingers sinks down into the mattress even, and his whole body tenses up. His muscles are working and he wants to tear the whole mattress up. He wants to tear everything up.

"Calm down, Stefan, calm down", Damon says and continues to stroke his back.

It's not every day Damon tells him to calm down and Stefan guesses it's because of Elena. He probably thinks he'll do something bad.

"I think you should go", Damon tells Elena and Stefan is thankful for that, because he can't say it himself.

They are both on the verge of release and Damon quickly resumes his pounding to finish them both of. Because Damon can't leave Stefan in this state, he can't. And Stefan hopes he never will. He hopes his brother isn't evil enough to do that, he hopes he doesn't hate Stefan enough to do that.
Stefan tears the pillow apart, once again screaming. After he finally gets his release he blacks out, but before he does he can feel a single tear roll down his cheek.

x

Damon's got this theory that Stefan reacts like this because he doesn't drink human blood anymore. The monster needs to come out and play sometime, and the only way Stefan's monster can come out is with Damon during that state.

Stefan hears Damon talking in a low voice with a worried, confused, angry and disgusted Elena. He can hear every emotion in her voice. Damon tries to convince her everything is fine, but she obviously doesn't believe him.

They are downstairs while Stefan is in the bed and they try to speak with as low voices as possible so Stefan won't hear, but they fail. Stefan hears how Elena is about to freak out and he wants so badly to be downstairs and comfort her, explain to her. But he has just woken up and he's exhausted. And the only thing he can think of is walking over to the curtain and pull it aside. Without his ring on. He wants that more than walking downstairs to talk to Elena.

He pulls his ring off and puts it on the bedside table. He gets up and walks over to the curtain. He takes a few determined breaths and pulls it aside. Just as the sun hits him and he feels the short two seconds of pain, someone pulls him aside out of the sunlight and closes the curtain again. It still burns really bad, but he has felt worse. Damon is holding him closely. Back against chest. Damon's arms around his chest.

"Will you stop that already? You're acting like a child", Damon hisses, angry.

Elena is suddenly there too and stares at Stefan worriedly.

"Stefan?" she asks like she doesn't recognize him, and she probably doesn't. He hasn't acted like this around her ever.

"He'll be fine. He's fine", Damon reassures, but doesn't let his little brother go.

Damon lays his brother back down on the bed and Stefan feels like a kid with no self control.

"Are you sure he's alright?" Elena asks like Stefan isn't in the room, or he doesn't understand them.

"Stefan? Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine", Damon says and sounds annoyingly amused.

Stefan wants to tell them that he's not alright and that he wants them to leave him alone.

"I still don't get this. I don't know what to... I can't... It's insane", Elena says and don't they all know this already?

But Stefan needs this, he needs Damon, but he doesn't want him, he doesn't want this. He wants this to end. He doesn't want to need this and Damon.
Not that it mattered because even if he doesn't need this he will still belong to Damon. Stefan owes him. It doesn't matter how he twists and turns, Damon will still always be there. Everywhere. In his life. At all times. He can't escape it ever. He can't escape what he has done. Damon wants to make sure he doesn't.

"This is the real Stefan. Are you really gonna give up on him this easily? I thought you loved him?"

Stefan really hates to hear Damon plead his case. Why is he doing it anyway? Doesn't he only want to destroy them?

"I have to think about this. Just tell him that I have to think about this first", Elena says.

"I think he can hear you", Damon says and it's the last thing Stefan hears before blacking out again.

x

Elena gets almost a whole week of thinking and Stefan is in agony. He either wants her to tell him it's okay, or that it's not. And he wants her to tell him now. He can't continue waiting. He can't live with the thought that maybe, just maybe, Elena hates him right now and tells her friends she'll never see him again. It was her choice to make, he knew that and respected it, but it didn't have to mean he liked it.

Damon notices how he stresses and of course he's being extra smug about this. And he can't help but be a little bit more handsy around Stefan, but harsher.
It gets into some kind of play where Stefan isn't in the mood, but Damon is, and Damon starts chasing him all around the house. They fight and Stefan threatens Damon that if he comes any closer... And Damon challenges him and wonders what exactly he'll do. And Stefan doesn't know what he'll do. He can't hurt Damon exactly, he's stronger than him, so there's not much he can do.
But Stefan really isn't in the mood for this, because he can't stop thinking about Elena. Damon doesn't give a shit and traps Stefan against a wall, lips working on the skin of Stefan's neck.

"Damon, stop", Stefan says tiredly, but his older brother doesn't listen to him.

Then Stefan gets a crazy idea and remembers the wood stick in his back pocket. He pulls it out and stabs it into Damon's stomach. He feels a bit insane when he smiles as he watches Damon go down, first collapsing against Stefan, and then falling to the floor.

Stefan runs up to their bedroom, which isn't their bedroom when Elena's around, but it doesn't take very long and Damon's there. He looks more insane than Stefan feels. His eyes are dark, red. His fangs are dropped and his shirt has been ripped off. The wound is just about to heal.

Stefan doesn't even know why he escaped to the bedroom, he feels stupid for doing it. He tries to get out of there, but Damon cuts off every escape way. So Stefan gives up, shows it by holding his arms out in defeat. Damon grabs him quickly and Stefan knows this won't be tender at all. He'll probably be lucky if he lives. At least it takes his thoughts off Elena.

x

Elena has a long talk with Stefan how she wants their relationship to work, how she loves him, and doesn't care what he does she'll still love him. But she still has some problems with Stefan and Damon's relationship. She wonders why it can't be someone else, why can't anyone else be with Stefan in that situation. Stefan has the answer for that. Sadly it only works with Damon. He's the only one who can get the monster out and control it. It doesn't work with anyone else, it won't come out with anyone else, and the monster needs to come out or he'll eventually explode.

Elena wonders why that's the case, why it doesn't work with anyone else, and it's a question Stefan rather not answers. But Stefan does it anyway and tells her all about how he made Damon the monster he is, how he owes him, how Damon's the only one he trusts with this. How it sometimes feels like he belongs to him. It's his debt.
He thinks Elena almost understands him. At least it looks like she understands him, she probably wants to understand him.

She tells him it's okay and she'll be able to live with it, only if they can take baby steps, and Stefan hasn't loved anyone like he loves Elena at that moment.
Of course this is the time Damon sweeps in, all smirk and self confidence, pulls a hand through Stefan's hair to annoy him and has a glass of blood.

"Have you two little lovebirds had a talk?" Damon wonders sweetly and drinks from the glass.

"Yes. I know everything now", Elena says and presses her lips together.

"Oh, she knows everything? That means she knows I can have you whenever I want to because that little monster inside you can't resist, right?"

"Right", Stefan says quietly and lowers his gaze.

"That's all I wanted to make clear", Damon says and leaves them.

This definitely won't be easy, but at least they'll try.

x

When the vampires who escaped from the tomb kidnaps Stefan, Damon gets pretty crazy. He threatens to kill them when he sees his tortured brother.
In the end he, Alaric and Elena makes an epic rescue team and saves Stefan. Damon gets to kill the vampires and it gives him more satisfaction than he'll ever reveal.

Stefan is badly hurt and somehow Elena gives him her blood. This is when everything backfires. Damon notices the change in Stefan. He lies and acts like everything is alright, but Damon knows better than that.
Damon watches as Stefan sleeps restlessly next to him in the bed, watches as he tries so hard to stay away from blood but fails.

Stefan is controlled by the blood. He's no longer controlled by Damon. Damon offers the blood to him, thinks if this is what he really wants then he can have it. Stefan declines it, but Damon knows he'll relent. He can't control it. The beast has been controlled for so long now, but it has gotten the taste of blood, real blood, and now there was almost no way to control it. Stefan's absolutely hypnotized by it.

Everything goes wrong and Stefan ends up taking a girl. Damon and Elena finds him and Elena tries to talk him through it, tries to calm him down, get close and tell him it's okay. She obviously doesn't know Stefan during this state like Damon does. It doesn't work and Stefan pushes her away. This is when Damon steps forward, because Stefan hasn't got as much blood in him as Damon, and he's still stronger.
Damon gets closer, slowly, hand touching Stefan's lower back, stroking, and then he pulls Stefan close and holds him.

This hadn't been Damon's plan, that he needed to look after Stefan like this, that he needed to worry, and take care of him.
Damon sighs as Stefan rests his head in the space under Damon's chin. At least he knows Stefan feels worse than him at this moment, it makes it easier. Stefan will feel even worse after this and isn't that what Damon lives for? Make him suffer.

Elena stares at them, unable to do anything because she simply doesn't know what to do. Well, there's not really anything she can do. Damon guesses she can probably talk or something stupid like that with Stefan later, but talking won't fix anything right now. Stefan clings to him, holds on tightly, almost like a child, and he breathes heavily, tiny whimpers escaping his mouth in between. Damon has to fix this and he doesn't want to.
He hushes Stefan, mostly because he's afraid people will notice them, but also to try and calm him down.

"I'll take him back home", he tells Elena when Stefan's heavy breathing has finally started to slow down.

x

It's a huge mess and Damon and Elena decide to lock him up in the cellar for a while. Damon isn't enough for Stefan right now, it won't be controlled like that right now.
So Stefan is locked up in there for days, refuses to eat, refuses to speak. He wants to die. He wants to end everything now. It's not pulling a curtain aside, this is more real than that. He remembers every bad thing he has done, knows that all the harm Damon has caused is because of him. He made Damon drink.

He hears when they talk about him. Damon wants him to eat and says he's ready to get out. Stefan doesn't want to get out. He's not ready, but Elena makes a hell of a big point to say he is. She says they can talk later about whatever he wants and how much he wants. But Stefan doesn't need to talk. He wants to die.
But in the end Elena stops him from doing that.

She gets Stefan back home and leaves him with Damon. She heads back home because she knows what Stefan needs tonight isn't her. She can't give him what he needs right now.

Damon gives him a small speech first about how he's not allowed to feel his guilt. He also tells Stefan that he hates him because he was supposed to be the only one Katherine turned.

"Just me", he says with venom.

Stefan feels it again, the hate, the guilt, the messed up love (if there even is any).
And Damon is on his way back to the bedroom and the only thing Stefan can do is follow him. There he will be controlled, owned, by Damon because he needs it, and Damon loves it. He gets to torture Stefan and it's the only way for Stefan to live on, to be saved, to control the monster.

And when Damon fucks him that night he fucks him so hard Stefan thinks he might actually die. It's mostly Damon punishing him for messing up with the blood, for getting turned by Katherine and everything else Damon blames on him. But it doesn't matter because it's how he wants it.

x

They continue like everything is the same. But it's more obvious right now like when Stefan sits tangled up with Elena and the only thing he has to do is give Damon one look and he gets it. They head back to their bedroom and Elena mostly pretends like nothing.

Stefan belongs to both Damon and Elena. Damon likes that he's got the upper hand, that he can destroy Stefan and Elena. But Elena has decided that won't happen and Stefan is thankful for it. He can't describe how much he loves Elena and he can't describe what he feels towards his brother.

They have a very weird love triangle going on. Stefan knows that Damon cares about Elena and somewhere inside Elena are some feelings for Damon.
Stefan's just glad he can have both because he needs them both. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing can change that.

END