Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or Colin Hay's 'I Just Don't Think I Will Ever Get Over You'
It started with a kiss.
Actually, if you had to be technical about it, it started with Finn having sex with Santana, and then a lot of arguing and frustration andthen a kiss.
But it all equated to the same thing; Rachel had lost Finn, and though she'd tried to make amends, he didn't want anything to do with her anymore; fantastic.
Had she known that one kiss would have an effect on the rest of her life? Of course not; it was high school, and she had plenty of time to rectify her mistake.
Right?
The phone rang in the tiny apartment. The noise sounded lonely in the silence of her home, though after a minute passed, it merely sounded impatient, just like the rest of the young girl's life (hadn't she turned on the answering machine?).
She hurried out of her bathroom, careful not to slip on the wet floor tiles, and with a resignation that she'd become used to, she picked up the receiver and held it to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi there. I hope this isn't an inadequate time but I'm calling on behalf of a national survey. Could you spare five minutes to help collect some data?"
The girl looked at the clock that hung on the wall, and aware that she had nowhere to be, she decided to be co-operative. "Of course."
"Thank you. Though the questions may appear a little personal, they will not be distributed for third party use, and will be used in the strictest of confidence. Firstly, what is your name please?"
"Rachel Berry." She used to say her name with pride; now Rachel said it with shame.
Glee!
It started with a kiss.
Actually, if you had to be technical about it, it started with Rachel lying about having sex with Jesse, and then a lot of arguing and frustration andthena kiss.
But it all equated to the same thing; Finn had been betrayed by Rachel, and though she'd tried to make amends, he couldn't trust her anymore;fantastic.
Had he known that his decision to break up with her would affect the rest of his life? Of course not; it was a high school romance, and he had plenty of time to find someone else to love.
Right?
The phone rang in his office. The noise sounded comfortable in there since the recipient was in such demand, though after a minute passed, it merely sounded desperate, just like a lot of things in the young man's life (wasn't his secretary supposed to patch all of his calls through?).
With a sigh and a hand on his temple to rub away his headache, he picked up the receiver and held it to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi there. I hope this isn't an inadequate time but I'm calling on behalf of a national survey. Could you spare five minutes to help collect some data?"
The boy looked at his watch, and aware that he had nothing else to do before he left, he decided to be co-operative. "Sure."
"Thank you. Though the questions may appear a little personal, they will not be distributed for third party use, and will be used in the strictest of confidence. Firstly, what is your name please?"
"Finn Hudson." He used to say his name with shame; now Finn said it with pride.
Glee!
"How old are you?"
"Twenty one."
"Where do you live?"
"Lima, Ohio."
"What is your occupation?"
"Amateur actress."
"Did you attend college or any kind of further education?"
"I... I spent a year in college before I dropped out."
"Are you currently single?"
"Yes."
"Are you happy?"
"...no."
"That's all; thank you for your time Miss Berry."
Glee!
"How old are you?"
"Twenty two."
"Where do you live?"
"New York City."
"What is your occupation?"
"I own a bar."
"Did you attend college or any other kind of further education?"
"No."
"Are you currently single?"
"Yes."
"Are you happy?"
"...yes."
"That's all; thank you for your time Mr Hudson."
Glee!
In Lima and New York respectively, two people went through their days like any other normal day. They smiled when they were smiled at, they talked when they were talked at, and as the sunlight was replaced with darkness, Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson went to bed alone, as always, not realising that everything was about to change.
End their last Finchel-less day
Glee!
Day one of the rest of Finn Hudson's life
"Mr Hudson, it's Taylor Swift again. She's wondering if she could book a table for next Saturday night?"
"Doesn't she understand how busy we are? Ugh, erm, tell her that we'll see what we can do, but if she feels like she hasto perform again, make sure she clears it with me first."
"Okay, I'll tell her. Also, there's a man on the other line who wants to talk to you; he says his name is William Schuester."
"Schuester?"
"If you're too busy to talk to him, I can-"
"No, patch him through; thanks Janet."
Finn Hudson looked down at the phone on his desk; one of the lights was flashing, and the reason for the flashing was Will Schuester, who he hadn't talked to in... He rubbed his eyes and let out a slow whistle; well, it was a long time, that's all he knew.
He lifted the receiver and pressed a button before cautiously taking a breath. "This is Finn Hudson, owner of Faithfully Bar... Mr Schue?" He bit back a groan because hewas the one that was addressed as Mr these days; the man on the other end of the phone wasn't his teacher anymore.
"Finn, hi, it's good to hear your voice again."
"It's been a while." He hadn't expected it to be so hard to talk to Mr Schue, but then again, he'd become a little guarded over past acquaintances. Ever since he'd made a name for himself, people he barely knew had been trying to get money and contacts out of him, and honestly, he'd reached the end of his tether.
Mr Schue was different though, or at least he assumed. Unlike the dickhead Azimio (who had asked for a couple of thousand dollars to pay off some debtors), Finn had actually liked Will, and he wasn't the type of guy to look for a handout.
"Yes, I'm sorry about that. Look, I was wondering if my glee club and I could travel up to your bar in the next few weeks to see the magic for ourselves? I'm having a hard time motivating my newest group of potential stars, and I thought it'd be a good thing for them to see how one of my old students has done in the real world. I'm sorry if I'm imposing or anything-"
"No, that sounds like a good idea Mr... Will. I'll contact you when we have a free table, though you might have to wait a while; we're pretty busy at the minute."
Finn heard the familiar laugh of his old teacher and couldn't help but smile to himself.
"That's great, thanks Finn. Congrats on everything!"
"Thanks Mr Schue," Finn said fondly. He hung up the phone, pressed the receiver to his lips, then laughed like a loser because the idea of seeing his teacher again was exciting,and it had been a while since he'd been excited.
Finn rummaged around his desk for his cell phone, and once he'd found it hidden under hundreds of 'thank you for an amazing night!' letters, he sent a text to Puck.
"Guess who's waiting for a table at the best bar in town?"
"Oh God, let it be Megan Fox!"
"I'm pretty sure she won't be coming back after the last time."
"I spilt that drink on her cleavage by accident Hudson, and don't you forget it ;) Who's the lucky gal?"
"Mr Schue."
"No way! I'm coming over 'cause I need to make myself pretty for tonight anyway."
Finn looked at his hair in the mirror, practiced a few breathing exercises, then checked with Janet, his secretary, to see if everything was ready for the press conference.
Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath.
Glee!
"Finn honey, have you got a minute?" asked Carole softly as she knocked on her son's door.
"Yeah, sure, come in."
"Could you come downstairs? Burt and I need to talk to you about something."
Finn frowned to himself as he threw his text book to the floor (finals study was kissing his ass). As he trudged down the stairs, he couldn't rid himself of his frown 'cause he had no idea what was going on. They weren't getting a divorce, were they? No, that was stupid, his mom was really happy and stuff, and Burt seemed happy too.
"Hey Finn, sorry to distract you but this is important," began Burt. Finn managed a nod, and with a smile from his mom, he sat on the couch, his stomach making grumbly noises 'cause he was pretty nervous about whatever this was. Burt perched beside him, and after clasping and unclasping his hands together, he patted Finn's shoulder once. "We're going to give you some money."
"...huh?" Finn said, half asleep. "Money? I don't... huh?"
Burt smiled at him, then at Carole, who was hovering behind her husband, before clearing his throat. "Yeah, I probably could have worded that a little better. Okay, so basically, we know that college isn't for everybody, and we're not mad that you've chosen to go down a different path. So don't think otherwise, because it's better now that you realise it's not your thing then when you get there, right?"
Finn gulped painfully and nodded. "R-right."
"Anyway, since it's your life, and you can do whatever you want to do, we thought that you might need a bit of money to help you get going. You're graduating soon, so we're gonna put some money in your account, and what you do with it is your own business."
"Just don't do drugs, okay honey?" added his mom, which elicited an embarrassed laugh from Finn.
"Wow, I don't know what to say... thanks!" He wasn't really a fan of hugging Burt 'cause it was still a little weird now and again, but swept up in the moment, Finn threw his arms around his step-dad, pulling his mom towards them to make it a group hug.
"Don't mention it," said Burt, and Finn could have sworn that he sounded like he was going to cry.
Glee!
Day one of the rest of Rachel Berry's life
"I can't believe it!" gushed Anna as she hugged a newspaper to her chest. "It's like God woke up and thought 'today, I'm going to give Anna the opportunity of a lifetime that she's always wished for'."
Rachel Berry rolled her eyes at the overdramatic girl that was Anna King. Before she'd become involved in the world of theatre, Rachel had always assumed that she was as dramatic as they came, but at that point in her life, she hadn't had the 'pleasure' of meeting Anna.
"And tell me again what you're obsessing over?" she asked wearily as she stuffed her dance clothes into her bag with a quiet huff. She glanced over at Anna in time to receive a horrified glare.
"Are you serious Rachel? I've been talking about this all day long and you weren't even listening?" The girl fluffed up her blonde, frizzy hair in agitation, which was something that she did quite often, before she placed one hand on her hip, the other holding the paper out to Rachel. "He's holding a press conference today, which can mean one of two things." Rachel looked at the picture on the front page, barely listening to what Anna was saying because, smiling at her with his crooked smile and his mesmerising brown eyes, was Finn Hudson.
"Finn..."
"The first is that he eloped in secret, but I mean come on,Finn Hudson's never been spotted with a girl before, and he's denied rumours that he's gay so it must mean that they're holding open auditions!" Anna flicked her hair again, this time in a way that made her seem smug and confident. "I'm going to audition, and I'm going to get that job and win Finn's heart while I'm at it." She pulled her bag over her shoulder and patted Rachel once on the shoulder. "I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow Rachel."
Rachel hadn't heard any of it because she was still trying to pick herself off of the floor. Of course she'd heard about Finn's endeavour in New York, with his bar and his friends and his talent, but since then, she'd tried to forget about him, and had purposefully avoided anything to do with his bar and its ridiculously perfect name.
She scanned the front page of the paper and felt her heart throb in her throat: The press conference is scheduled for 5pm EST tonight, and with no indication that Mr Hudson has a personal crisis to discuss, it seems likely that he will be announcing another set of open auditions for the elusive chance to work at his 'Faithfully' bar, one of the most popular locations of its time.
Glee!
"I'd like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine. I really hurt him, and I hope he can find it in his heart to forgive me." Rachel hadn't mentioned Finn's name, but it was obvious enough who she was referring to. She ignored the rolling of eyes and the quiet disapproving murmurs of her teammates because this was about Finn, not them.
She risked a glance in his direction, and she could tell by the way his mouth was set that he was nervous and conflicted. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but the medium of song was her only escape, her only hope, and she just had to stay confident; he'd surely take her back after she sung to him.
She sang Everybody Hurts by R.E.M because she knew that he was a big fan, and honestly, she couldn't have found a better song to express her true feelings. She put her heart into every dramatic facial expression, every tear that trailed down her cheek, and every glance that she spared for Finn (she didn't want to make ittoo obvious that it was for him).
At the end of her performance, after everyone had applauded (not that they put much effort into it), Rachel waited for Finn to stumble into her embrace and tell her that he had forgiven her.
"That was good," he'd said before leaving, and even if everybodydidhurt, it wasn't possible that anyone could hurt as much as Rachel.
Glee!
"Okay, we just have a few more questions before you leave for your press conference," said an interviewer from some magazine, who glanced down at her notepad before staring back up at Finn. "Though you've told other journalists that you named your bar after the classic Journey ballad, is there another reason why you'd make it your trademark brand?"
Finn hated that question, though it was his own fault for ever choosing the damn thing (Puck had told him just as much). "That's the only reason I'm afraid," he said with a forced, fake laugh. "I wish I could say it was dedicated to a dead dog of mine, but I was never allowed pets."
The interviewer chuckled, made a few notes, then nodded. "Drat, and here I was hoping for the exclusive on your love for Fido."
Finn shrugged and gave her the best smile he could muster. "Anything else? I'm sorry to rush you but I do have somewhere to be so..."
"Just one more," the interviewer promised, nodding as she smiled knowingly at him. "You must be bored by the constant questions regarding your sexuality and relationships, but what I'd like to know is this." She shifted in her seat, leaned towards Finn, and pressed her pen to the corner of her mouth, her eyes looking straight into his. "Even if you're not in love now, has there ever been anyone in your life who you thought you'd be with forever?"
Finn felt the back of his eyes sting; he hadn't been expecting that. He briefly contemplated lying so that he could avoid the connotations of the truth, but when it came down to it, would it matter if he talked about her?
"Yes," he said softly. He toyed with one of the buttons on his shirt as he glanced at his watch; he didn't really have time to go into depth. "All I'll say is that I thought we were set for life, but things happen that you can't really predict, and since then I've been happy on my own." He rose from his seat, clasped the interviewer's hands in his own, then gave her a brief smile as he headed for the door. "I'm sorry I can't stay, and thank you for taking the time to interview me; I hope I wasn't too boring for you." He hurried out of the room, checked his cell phone (ten missed calls and three voice messages), then sighed as he tried to forget about Rachel Berry; he'd been doing a good job at that for so long.
Glee!
"Do you think you can ever forgive me, Finn?" asked Rachel after glee club rehearsal.
Finn hadn't noticed that she'd cornered him, and he hadn't noticed that they were the only two left in the choir room; damn his unobservedness. "Forgive you?" he muttered stupidly. Of course he knew what she was talking about because it was all he could think of, but it was easier to play dumb than to accept the truth, which was pretty messed up in itself.
"I know that I hurt you by kissing Noah, but surely you understand that you hurt me too? I'm positive we can just forget this ever happened and go back to-"
"No," he said firmly. He didn't look at her eyes because he knew that they'd be the death of him, and he had to finally put his foot down. "Yeah, I understand why you did it, and I understand that you're hurting but I can't handle this again." He threw his backpack over his shoulder and lowered his voice because he didn't want to sound too harsh. "I don't want to live with a constant fear in my chest that you're going to kiss someone else because I've made another mistake. Sorry."
He left Rachel to cry to herself because his heart had broken for the fiftieth time with the effort of setting her straight. He loved her, that would probably never change, but the past was the past right? She'd hurt him, he'd broken up with her, and that was that.
Glee!
Rachel stumbled into her tiny apartment, struggling under a mound of newspapers that were stacked precariously high in her grasp, and once she'd spread them perfectly across her living room floor, she turned on her laptop, tapping her fingers impatiently while she waited for it to load up.
Her eyes skated across the numerous headlines and the dozens of photos of her ex-boyfriend, and as it sunk in that this was the boy she'd planned to spend the rest of her life with, she felt imaginary tears stream down her face. What the hell was she doing? After high school, Rachel had done everything in her power to move on from Finn Hudson, and until today, she'd succeeded. It wasn't like she'd never heard of how well he was doing, how famous his bar was, how talented his staff were, but she'd forced herself not to pay attention to all the publicity surrounding him, and had instead carried on with her life without him.
So what had changed her mind?
Open auditions.
She didn't want the job in the least. As much as she loved performing, her dream vocation had never been a singing waitress, and even with all the fame that went with the job, she knew it wouldn't be worth the long hours waiting on other people; Rachel Berry didn't wait on anyone.
Once her laptop was ready to go, she cautiously typed Finn's name into a search engine, not sure she was ready to see the results.
What was really bothering her, though?
Anna, as always. Rachel had become used to the girl's incessant, trivial rambling, but as the girl had declared that she would get the job and Finn, it was as if Rachel was back in high school, listening to Santana Lopez bragging about her conquests.
Santana Lopez; she hadn't thought of her in a while.
Rachel opened the bar's official website, scrolled through a few publicity shots, then clicked on a page about the origins of the owner, one Mr Finn Hudson.
The way she was drooling over the photos of him, it was definitely like Rachel was back in high school.
Glee!
"He'll come around Berry, this is Finn we're talking about."
Rachel looked sadly at Puck, who had graciously agreed to pay her a visit, and instead of seeing a friend, she just saw a constant reminder of her infidelity. "No he won't Noah," she said firmly. "I know Finn better than he knows himself, and I've only just realised that he doesn't want anything to do with me."
Puck snorted. "Stop with all this self pitying crap 'cause it ain't flattering in the slightest."
Rachel glared at him. "Don't treat me like I'm some little child who's throwing a tantrum!" She stood up angrily, and as she looked at him, reallylookedat Puck, she felt a wave of fury ripple through her body. "I want you to leave. Don't come back, don't talk to me when we're at school, and just leave me alone; this is all your fault!"
She hadn't expected him to take it lying down, and on cue, Puck towered over her, breathing heavily. "Who the fuck do you think you are? In case you've forgotten princess, I was the one who called things off, so don't you dare blame this shit on me!"
Rachel's hand made contact with his face, and the noise was incredibly loud for a simple slap. Puck's head twisted to the side, and for a split second, she thought he was going to hit her back.
But he didn't, of course he didn't. Instead, he laughed coldly as he shook his head. "No wonder Finn doesn't want anything to do with you; you're a freaking head case." He stormed out of her bedroom, slamming her door for good measure, and instead of guilt, all Rachel felt was a cold emptiness inside her chest.
Glee!
"So, you ready for this shit?" asked Puck, who straightened his tie and flexed his muscles in his tight suit. "I love when you hold auditions 'cause it means I get to have a bit of the limelight for a change."
Finn grinned at his best friend as he finished buttoning up his jacket. "You're such a douche Puckerman."
"Say that to my face you pansy!" he snarled, though Finn simply rolled his eyes 'cause he wasn't in the mood for fucking around.
"You know that everyone loves you. People are only interested in me because I do the hiring." He looked in the mirror and patted down a piece of hair. "Besides, you can have all the limelight you want if it means that they start asking you if you're dating your step-brother."
Puck frowned for a second. "But I don't have a step-brother."
"I'm talking about Kurt," Finn said with another roll of his eyes. "Actually, that reminds me; him and Mercedes are travelling up for the night, and they're gonna stay at my place after they've performed a few songs."
Puck punched the air in victory. "That's what I'm talking about! I haven't seen my black chick in way too long! Might have to bust out a kickass duet with her for old time's sake."
"Mr Puckerman?" came the voice of a reporter from one of the various doors surrounding them, "could I talk to you before the official press conference? I'm with PlayGirl magazine."
The smirk on Puck's face was so dirty that Finn felt like he needed to wash his eyes out with soap. "I'll see you in a bit Hudson; save me a seat at the table." Puck followed the woman eagerly, leaving Finn to his thoughts.
He really didn't need to be thinking about Rachel Berry right now. In fact, he really didn't need to be thinking about her at any point in time because he'd moved on from all of that, from her and love and the thrill of performing.
Faithfully Bar though. Why the fuck did he ever stick with that?
"You gotta be kidding me!" scoffed Puck. "Are you some kind of masochist Finn? Seriously, this is the shittiest idea I've ever heard."
"Then I'll find someone else to work on the bar 'cause I'm sure there are plenty of contractors who need the money." He ignored the curses and insults that his friend mumbled under his breath because it was Finn's bar, not Puck's.
"Alright, look, just think this through. You went through hell with Berry, you tried to forget her, and now you wanna name your bar after your, like, signature duet?" Puck shook his head in disbelief. "I think you're being an idiot."
"And I think it's none of your business. Just get back to work."
He'd had a proper reason in the beginning. Yeah, he and Rachel had sung Faithfully at Regionals together, but they'd also sung hundreds of other songs during their time in glee club, and just because they'd once stared into each other's hearts as they sang in perfect harmony did not mean that the song was particularly special for him.
But seriously, who the hell was he kidding? Every single friend and family member that he'd told had come to the same conclusion; 'Didn't you sing that song with Rachel?' It was so obvious, but Finn just denied it every time because he liked the goddamn song.
These days he didn't even think about the name. When he heard the name Faithfully, it referred to his brand, his world, his place that he could feel at ease, and until the interviewer had asked that ridiculous question, he hadn't even thought about its relation to Rachel.
It wasn't just the name that was dedicated to her though. Unconscious of his decisions, or just not caring, Finn had been surrounding himself with memories of Rachel Berry, even though he hadn't spoken to her in years.
His secretary was called Janet. She was one of the least qualified for the job at the time, and why had he chosen her? Janet was the name of the character Rachel had played in their version of Rocky Horror. He still remembered the one (and only) time that Finn had lost his temper with her, and in the heat of his huge argument, he shouted "Damn it Janet, what do you have to say for yourself?" After that revelation, he gave her a raise and cried himself to sleep because he remembered singing about love and marriage and Rachel, and he hadn't even realised the connection with his secretary until then.
There were other things too, like the decoration of the bar (there were a few gold stars scattered around the walls) and the menu, which featured an impressive range of vegan options (including Quinn Fabray's famous banana bread, though it wasn't as delicious as Rachel's).
All this crap, all this stuff that he'd been doing so he could remember Rachel, and he hadn't even noticed; he could only imagine what Puck thought of all these stupid mementos.
Finn heard a few people calling his name, which meant that it was time for the madness to begin. In all honesty, auditions for a new staff member were the last thing he wanted right now. Katie, one of their best waitresses, had been forced to quit her job after some smoking-related illness affected her voice, and despite Finn constantly saying 'It's okay, we can survive with one less waitress', they'd been struggling without an extra pair of hands.
"Here we go," he whispered to himself as he stepped into the room filled with flashing lights and relentless questions.
Glee!
"A bar? Well, I guess that's one thing to occupy yourself with until it all goes up in flames."
"Thanks Kurt, it's great to have such a supportive step-brother," muttered Finn as he threw back another shot of apple juice (so hard core). He felt a hand on his shoulder, and smiled at Quinn as she smiled back.
"I think it's a great idea Finn," she said honestly, to which Kurt rolled his eyes while sipping at his white wine.
"You don't know the first thing about bars," he said pointedly. "I'm not trying to be a buzz kill-"
"Doesn't sound like it!" said Puck, who flipped Kurt the finger when the smaller boy glared in his direction.
"I'm not trying to be a buzz kill, despite what Mr Puckerman may believe." Kurt sighed, ran a hand along his perfectly styled hair, then patted Finn's arm softly. "I just don't want you to spend all of your money on something that may not prove to be a great investment. What's going to make your bar stand out from the countless others?"
Finn's eyes glistened as a proud grin spread across his face. "Every member of staff will get to sing to the guests, and one day, it'll be so popular that we'll be turning people away!"
Kurt didn't have anything to say to that because all he could think about was if he could pull off the bartender look.
Glee!
"My inspiration came from my high school Glee club," said the Finn that Rachel was watching on YouTube. "Even though we had a few teething problems, we were a family, and we had a lot of fun performing with each other."
She glanced at the time and let out a tiny scream of surprise; it was finally five o'clock! She turned on her TV, sat herself in front of it, and with a shaking hand, changed the channel to be greeted with a live feed of Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman; she had to stop herself from bursting into tears.
"Mr Hudson, is it true that you're holding open auditions for your bar after your last waitress had a heated relationship with Mr Puckerman?"
Rachel watched, entranced, as Noah snorted in protest. "I'll answer that one; I made out with Katie once, but that was before she worked at Faithfully."
Finn placed a hand on Noah's shoulder and gave him a small smirk that had Rachel's stomach doing somersaults. "I'll take it from here man." Finn turned to the cameras, and as his familiar eyes settled on her screen, Rachel let out an involuntary whimper. "I'm sorry to say that Katie Jenkins, a valued member of our team, was forced to resign after developing emphysema." He took a sip from his glass of water then smiled sadly. "I guess Katie's story is a reminder to all those people out there who smoke; she had to give up her dream job because it affected her health. Therefore, the allegations of the affair between her and Mr Puckerman are completely false."
Rachel was taken aback by Finn's eloquence. She still thought of him as the boy who had trouble saying the right thing, but it was easy to remember that he was older now, though his appearance had barely changed.
"But it is true that you're holding auditions?"
Finn nodded with a grin. "It is indeed, though since we're pressed for time, it's going to be for one day only." There were a few gasps in the throng of journalists, and Rachel herself held her breath at the news. "Auditions will be held in a week's time here in New York. We're trying a different approach, and anyone interested needs to submit a thirty second clip of themselves singing a song of their choice onto our website tomorrow. We'll contact those who have made it onto our shortlist, and those lucky people will be asked to come down to Faithfully Bar to audition properly."
Rachel recorded the rest of the conference because she was unable to concentrate on anything else that was said; she had to audition for that job. With a new determination that she hadn't felt in a long time, she set up her camera and tripod, mentally composing a list of the perfect songs to impress Finn Hudson.
Glee!
Rachel pulled her suitcase along the empty sidewalk, aimlessly kicking any stones that were in her way. Of all the places and all the circumstances, she'd never considered that she'd be returning to Lima as a failure.
Granted, it wasn't as if she'd had a choice about dropping out of college. Her daddy was ill, her dad was struggling with the responsibility, and when it came down to it, Rachel just wasn't the same girl that she'd once been. Somewhere in high school, the 'I'm Rachel Berry and I'm going to be a star' facade had disappeared, and all that was left was a friendless girl with little ambitions.
She stood silently outside her house, and with a resigned sigh, she knocked on the door; so much for her metaphor.
Glee!
As the bar ran along smoothly without him, Finn decided to take a break in his office because he needed to get away from the noise and the laughter and the music that he so usually craved. After checking that no one was around, he locked himself in the small room with his desk and paperclips and other essentially grown-up concepts, and sunk into his chair with a sigh.
He had a lot of thinking to do, and the more he thought, the harder it became to keep a clear head. For whatever reason, Finn couldn't get a question out of his mind. Having been interviewed by hundreds of journalists, it was inevitable that the same questions would appear over and over again. His relationship status was the second most popular topic; his decision not to sing was number one with a bullet.
Why don't you perform at your bar, Finn? Why don't you perform when singing used to be your life? Why don't you give them what they want? Because they want you, Finn, they want you to bare your heart to everyone, and what's wrong with that? Why don't you perform at your bar, Finn?
Why didn't he? There were a lot of things that he didn't do anymore, and did it really matter anyway? People said that they cared, but most of them just wanted the inside scoop (the inside scoop on Finn Hudson would be worth serious fuckingmoney).
Puck was the only one who knew the truth, and that was pretty messed up, 'cause it was all to do with Rachel (but wasn't it always?).
"Why don't you sing too dude? Even though you don't have my body and guns, I have to admit," Puck looked pained as he talked, which made Finn suspicious, "you've always been the best singer." Finn opened his mouth to which Puck snarled. "And don't fucking deny it because I'm not gonna compliment you again. Come on man, what happened?"
"Rachel," Finn said solemnly, and he could practically hear Puck wince. "After we graduated, I just stopped singing 'cause it reminded me too much of her." He glanced across at his best friend, who looked all kinds of awkward, and frowned. "You better not tell another soul, alright? It's no big deal, but you know how it is."
Puck nodded. "I know how it is. Sucks ass."
Finn laughed as he hung his head in his hands. "Yeah it does."
Finn smiled to himself as the sound of Noah Puckerman's voice drifted through the air from the bar. He was a pretty decent singer, but that wasn't the sole reason for his popularity; it probably had something to do with the strip teases and suggestive song choices.
Finn felt a sudden lump form in his throat. No, that was a lie; the lump had been there since the interview earlier that day, and it had slowly become more and more uncomfortable as he tried to ignore it. He couldn't ignore it any longer though, because the more he tried to forget, the more Finn realised that no matter how long ago, Rachel Berry was still the only girl who had some kind of effect on him.
He flicked through the songs on his iPod, and after pressing the headphones to his ears, Finn hummed along to the gentle chords of the guitar; he really needed to sing along to something.
I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
Don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
Is that if I lived till I was a hundred and two
I just dont think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whiskey
I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just dont think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter still ringing in my ears
I still find peices of your prescence here
Even after all these years
I don't want you thinking that I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
And even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just dont think I'll ever get over you
If I live till I was a hundred and two
I just dont think I'll ever get over you
Finn hung his head against his chair and gulped; he was rusty, and that was just singing along with his iPod. He cleared his throat, turned off the music, and headed back into the bar; at least it was something.
Glee!
"You two were amazing tonight," laughed Finn as he closed the doors for the night. Once he was sure that no one was hiding under one of the tables, he poured himself a glass of orange juice, complete with a cocktail umbrella.
"What can I say?" said Mercedes, wiggling her hips as she did a little shake on the spot, "I guess I miss the whole song and dance thing." She smiled over at Puck, who was grinning back at her, then shrugged. "It probably had something to do with Puck's arms too; I've always been a sucker for those arms."
"Oh please, let's not give him another ego boost," complained Kurt, who was fanning himself with a menu. "We were amazing because Kurt and Mercedes will never cease to be amazing."
Puck and Finn snorted in unison, though neither disagreed with the statement. "So, a toast to-" As Finn was about to raise his orange to their dysfunctional family of misfits, Quinn stumbled into the room with a hiccup and a giggle, and as her eyes focused on Puck, she let out an excited squeal.
"You were amaaaazinggg Pucky!" she sighed, dancing across the room to join them. Kurt cocked an eyebrow at Finn, who shrugged his shoulders with an amused grin. Quinn rarely drank after a couple of wine coolers had resulted in Beth, and even now, it was clear that she'd barely touched a drink (Quinn was a terrible drunk, and if she hadn't burst into a rendition of a Carrie Underwood song, then it meant she'd consumed two glasses of wine at the most).
Puck slung his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head as he smirked over at Finn. "What can I say babe? The Puckasaurus has still got it!"
"So Finn, you were going to toast to my talent no doubt?" prompted Kurt, and after a roll of his eyes in Puck's direction, Finn nodded and raised his glass in the air.
"To my friends, who mean the fucking world to me!" he shouted, spilling orange juice down his shirt.
"Hear hear!" called Mercedes with a laugh, and after a few brief embraces and last minute drinks, Faithfully Bar was closed for another night, and Finn hadn't thought about Rachel in hours.