'The man who was Wade Wilson, yet might not really be Wade Wilson, who might in fact be a man named Jack ("Don't you come back. No more. No more. No More. No More!") was confused. It was, disconcerting to the unstable mercenary; he was used to being the confuser, not the confusee.
Weather those were actually words mattered little at this moment in time, for staring at him, from the bottom of his scabby, scabby legs was a baby.
Sure the baby was cute, most babies were, and there was something about a being with a fully malleable brain that was just so appealing, but that was getting off track.'

"Ga goo?"

'Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth, artificial Mutant, savoir of many worlds, sailor of the multi-verse, friendly antagonist of many a Marvel Mayflower, leader of the daring Deadpool Corps and all around sexy man of sex was startled out of his reverie. The baby had talked... well, made a sound, so it was apparently a living baby on his doorstep, bonus really. He was sure if a Superhero ("God forbid it was an X-man.") stumbled upon his super secret spidey hideout of super special surprises ("Read painful death.") and found him in possession of a baby corpse, they might not be so apathetic to letting him continue to roam around unchecked.'

"And we can't have that now can we little man?" the man questioned of the child with the messy black hair and inquisitive emerald eyes. "After all, Wolverines a scary summbitch when he's not whoring himself out to every known Marvel Group known to the multiverse. Can you say that? Wolverine, Summbitch?"

"Sumabith! Sumabith!"

"Well, it's a start." Twisting his head left and right, making sure there was no one hiding in the shadows who could possibly ruin his badass rep. Deadpool did not care for babies. Nope, not at all. No way no how. Babies were strangled by him. He ground their bones to dust for his bread and used the rest as Jam. He kicked them into wood chippers, big wood chippers, while drowning puppies.

Or so his rep said.

"Let's get you inside little man, and let me educate you in the ways of Bea Arthur, insanity, hand grenades and the one true way of ruining multiple franchises in just one fell swoop.'
"With a crossover!"

'In 10 years little Wade Wilson Jr had grown into a dashing young man. Of course according to Both Outlaw and WWJ that was not his name. According to the letter attached to his bouncy baby bassinet, it was not his name.

No. Apparently his name was Harry Potter, and silly Outlaw and WWJ had decided to go with it.'

"Fools, both of them, but that was the way the world worked after all. Nobody ever listened to dear departed Deadpool, after all he was insane, even his own inner monologue believed him to be dead, but maybe that was just to have an excuse to implement alliteration."

"Alliteration is fun after all."

"Indeed."

"Dad?"

'Turning to the kitchen door, Deadpool saw his legacy standing tall in a nice pair of camo pants and a rather fetching collared shirt. He wiped a tear away from his eye, knowing in a few years, Har... Wade Wilson Junior, would be as big a playboy as his dear departed Deadpool Dad.'

"Stop it Dad." 'Tito 2 drawled.'

"Stop What?" 'Deadpool inquired innocently, genuinely confused.'

"I know you're narrating our life again Dad, you have the Morgan Freeman twinkle going on, it's disturbing." Harry shivered.

Deadpool laughed. Oh yes, his son was a great kid. "Inherited most of his good traits, except for the constant desire to break the fourth wall of Marvel. He just couldn't accept the fact that he was part of a fictional multiverse of Mutants, Wizards, Mad Scientists and Atomic Spidermen. Just like the rest of the Marvel universe really."

"Dad!"

"I'm just screwing with you Kidpool the II."

"Prick..."

"HEY! Don't make me Narrate."

"I'll be good." cringed Harry backing down. Deadpool nodded happily.

"By the way, letter for you, written on parchment, probably from Doc Strange. Possibly Wade Fakeson, trying to convince you to stab me in the back again." Deadpool laughed causing Harry to smile. T-Ray was an endless source of amusement for the pair. He was just so... pathetic, in his attempts to sway Harry to his side. They had a bet going on whether or not he would try to convince Harry he was his Biological father, in a manner reminiscent of Darth Vadar.

"Nah, T-Ray's request are written with pens on paper, and the writing is way too fancy for him. He writes in chicken scratch. Like you said prob'ly from Strange." Harry paused. A bemused look coming over his face. "But then again, why the hell would Strange be writing to me?"

Stopping the spoon of Captain Crunch halfway to his mouth Deadpool conceded the point with a slight bob of his head. "Indeed, I don't think the good Doctor has met you before, and you haven't exhibited any magic based mutagenic powers. Good work Tito II!"

Sighing Harry picked up the letter, one of these days he would get his dad to settle on a name.

Pft, yeah, right. And Wolverine was cute and cuddly.

"What about at Stryker's base? Was that not even slightly magical?" Harry asked, somewhat subdued.

"Well obviously, but apparently not mutagenic, and decidedly non-cannon, we were forgetting that ever happened weren't... OH! Golden Girls is on! I'm a comin' Bea!"

Shaking his head Harry turned the letter over in his hand.

Harry Potter
Smallest Bedroom, 22nd and 3rd Street, Apartment 53B,
New York City, State of New York.

"That was... oddly specific."

Slicing open the letter with a forgotten Katana, Harry read.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We will be sending a representative to escort you to Diagon Alley to procure your equipment within the next 3 days and to answer any questions you may have.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

"Questions?" Harry deadpanned. "Questions?" He repeated for emphasis. "Where in the hell do I begin?" 'Young Kidpool bit out with a yell.' "GODDAMN IT DAD!"

Well, I think it is safe to say my enthusiasm for Four Front War is gone, finished, finito. (Same could be said for Ninja Yarn, although THAT I believe is salvageable) As a writer and reader I have since grown up from when I first wrote that and have developed a healthy dislike of Gary Stus and Mary Sues, and my portrayal of Harry in that is way much Stu.

So this. Where did this come from? Well, I like Deadpool, always have, always will, and I was reading a story called "Little Green Boxes" which was a HP/Deadpool Cross. And it was pretty good. The problem was it was a Parody really. It didn't do what I feel Deadpool does and makes fun of itself while maintaining a completely serious face at the same time.

So this is my attempt at that. Also, Harry isn't 4th wall breaking. He was raised by the man, but there can be no replacement for Wade Wilson. (Except possibly T-Ray or Deadpool himself, who knows?)

Anywho, yeah. Forgive the letter, I will edit it to the proper thing when it isn't midnight, and I don't have work in the morning.

So, this is this. Just a decent bit of fun. Take it with a grain of salt.

Jordan Out.

EDIT - Redid the letter using the actual letter from the books as a base.