Disclaimer: I wish Ryuichi belonged to me, but it's not working that way.

*laughs* All Gravitation is held by Murakami Maki and Sony Productions.

Fallen Angel

by Yui Miyamoto

[Conclusion]

Chapter 5 - Catching a Nagareboshi. (Or, 'More Than Words')

I don't know why, but at 7 am in the morning, I found myself in front of the doorstep of Shuichi's and Ni-chan's. Drenched from the rain, I was dripping all over the floor and I found the courage to knock since I had come all the way here.

Knock. Knock.

Shuichi expectantly opened the door and his eyes grew wide at the sight. "Tatsuha-kun!"

He pushed me inside and gave me a tank top and some sweatpants to change into.

When I finished my shower, we sat on the couch. And what of Ni-chan? He hadn't even woken up yet.

"What happened? Didn't you pick up, Sakuma-san?" He tried his best smile though he saw the frown that I could no longer hide. "It was a surprise and all!"

I nodded and spoke sarcastically, "Oh yeah, it sure was a surprise to me."

Shuichi blinked his eyes getting really lost as to what I was saying. And I looked somewhere else while laughing while putting my hand on my forehead. "The surprise wasn't Ryuichi. It was the fiancée he brought with him."

Shuichi blinked his eyes unable to digest what he had just heard. "F-for real?"

This scene that had happened many months earlier...this familiar scene...

The tables have turned, haven't they, Shuichi-kun?

"Ohh..." he nodded to himself understandingly.

But you don't know though. You all don't know that I spent the night with him or that he had made me a promise. You don't know how much more this knife is digging inside of me.

You need not to…

I had expected Shuichi to pat my head sympathetically...nope. He swapped the back of my head and loudly scolded, "You go and tell him how you feel!"

I looked away. Then, he grabbed my collar and shook me. "I know more than ANYONE how much you love Sakuma-san! You've gotta at least tell him that much!"

"If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life!" he continued.

Then, I burst out something that I thought I could never say, "I can't because it can't be expressed in words! THAT'S HOW DEEP MY FEELINGS ARE!"

Shuichi smiled. "That's more like it."

"Yeah, thanks, Shu-oww!"

"Itai!" Shuichi also chimed in.

There stood my Ni-chan glaring at us without compassion. "I woke up because you were too loud!"

Shuichi and I picked up the pillows and gave them back to Ni-chan.

We again walked to the studio together. But no one was there except Ryuichi. He was inside the room with a cassette about to be qued up. From below, he took out lyrics to place in front of him. Putting on the headphones, he tapped his feet.

Then, the familiar fast-tempo song of Nittle Grasper came on. And he began to sing,

"(whisper) Never say a word.

Whisper to me in the rain

Without moving your mouth.

Lip-sync if you can,

I want to hear your voice once more.

In anger you turned away from me,

and disappear with that asphalt smell

that rain leaves behind.

Through the shadows of myself

I reach deep into this feeling

that makes all humans fall apart.

Falling deeper into you,

I've forsaken Heaven.

Fallen Angel. (come to me)

Killing us deeper and deeper

Without mercy or compassion

Reach out if you can,

I want to feel the warmth of your touch.

In gentleness you looked at me,

and vanish into a mirage of rain

that falls continuously.

Through the darkness in myself,

I rip without pity into this feeling,

that makes all humans more imperfect

Falling deeper inside of me,

I've gone to the depths of hell itself.

Fallen Angel. (kill me.)

(whisper)

The words I cannot say,

they work against me.

I cannot keep what's important,

it's slipping away.

Damn Fate won't let me keep...

Keep You.

Through the shadows of myself (Grasping blindly for anything)

I reach deep into this feeling (This burning desire)

that makes all humans fall apart. (And puts gods to their knees)

Falling deeper into you, (More than you'll ever know)

I've forsaken Heaven. (To find you)

Fallen Angel. (Come back to me.)"

When he finished, he wiped his eyes. "Tomorrow I will leave Japan again, and I didn't even..."

And there was the half-Japanese girl that had come from the side of the room.

Still not knowing that we were there, Shuichi and I ducked. We instead listened into their conversation.

Clap, clap. "You did great, Ryuichi."

"Thanks." Rustle, rustle. "There's something I have to tell you, Emily."

"Yes, Dear?"

"I'm going to stop the line right here."

"You mean you're not serious about-"

"If I marry you, I'll be doing it because my family has always married into yours."

Oh, so that's why!

"Y-you mean..." She sobbed. "You like that boy, don't you? The sixteen-year-old that picked us up."

"Yup." Adjusting the microphone, you could hear the clicks here and there. "I told him about you. I told him I loved you once and you loved me. But he said something you would never say to me."

"And what was that, Ryuichi?!" She shouted reasonably.

"All my life, I have gotten everything I've wanted. I've associated with the upper class." He laughed. "Why do you think I know Touma Seguchi?"

"And, I've gotten the best of everything. But..." He stopped for a moment and I could feel that he was giving her a clear look in the eye. "But, for myself, of my own free will, I've chosen to become a singer."

"And what has this got to do with Tatsuha-san?" A tinge of impatience in her voice that I could never blame her to hold back.

"He chose me."

Silence.

A long silence...

"No one told him to go with me...but himself."

Slap. "I myself chose to be with you, Ryuichi."

The shaking in her voice along with the falling tears could be heard all too clear in Emily's voice. "I personally asked my father for myself to given to you. But when you looked at me, I knew this day would come."

"..."

"I knew one day, you'd leave me." With a small kiss, she shouted with all her might, "I know I'll love you more than he ever can, Ryuichi!"

Shaking and not going to let the chance slip away like sand in my hand, I shot up unable to take it any longer. Loudly into the microphone, I screamed while shaking my head, "No you can't!"

Slowly, I looked down at them and stared into Emily's eyes. "My feeling's too strong, Emily. I can't express it with an 'I love you anymore'. It's more than love that I feel."

"How can you do that, Tatsuha?"

I came down to the booth and stood in front of her with a determined look. I posed all the following questions to her face:

"You're supposed to know him so well, but do you know that Ryuichi always sleeps with that bunny in his arms even if he has to bite its ear from losing it?"

"Do you know that Ryuichi goes to karaoke bars because that's the only way he can vent out?"

"Do you know that Ryuichi is ticklish on his left side?"

"Do you know Ryuichi's true smile? Do you know what that looks like?"

"Do you know why he changes whenever he sings?"

"No! You don't!" I continued to stare at her. "But I do."

"I know that Ryuichi loves that bunny because it holds significant value. I know that Ryuichi gets so wound up that he sings what he can't say. I know that he is ticklish only when you give him chocolate. I know Ryuichi's real smile when he seems to sparkle. I know he changes whenever he sings because he expresses all the things he wants to do, but can't."

"You want to fight about Ryuichi? You'll never win out on how much I know Ryuichi, little Tatsuha. I've known him much longer than you yourself have been alive." She pushed my shoulder. "So don't you DARE tell me what I know and what I don't."

Then, it dawned on me. I wasn't intimidated by her anymore. I blurted out hurtfully, "Then there's just only one difference between you and me, Emily. His feeling for me is real, but for you, it's just an obligation."

Slap.

With all I had to say, I walked out of the booth and out of the room.

[This is from Ryuichi's perspective]

I watched them both leave. Emily went out one door and Tatsuha went out the other.

Looking from side to side, I grew confused. Shuichi, from above, shouted, "Go, Sakuma-san! Make up your mind before they both leave!"

Yes, that's right...

I ran up the stairs.

He chose me.

I ran down the short hallway.

I chose him too.

Opening the door, there was a wistful eyed Tatsuha standing in front of it. He smiled at me and jokingly said, "What took you so long, Ryuichi?"

That night, while kissing me, he sang softly to my ear,

"Through the shadows of myself (Grasping blindly for anything)

I reach deep into this feeling (This burning desire)

that makes all humans fall apart. (And puts gods to their knees)

Falling deeper into you, (More than you'll ever know)

I've forsaken Heaven. (To find you)

Fallen Angel. (Come back to me.)

"That's what loves means to me, Tatsuha-kun..."

[back to Tatsuha's perspective]

At the airport, I hugged Ryuichi, but I didn't want to let him go.

"I'll be back," he said to me with much certainty. "I love you, Tatsuha."

He finally said it to me...

Turning around, he left to check in and turned the corner.

"Bye, Ryuichi." I said to myself.

And yet again, he leaves for America. Oh well...

But a minute later, I averted my body to a voice that shouted my name. "Tatsuha! Tatsuha!"

Ryuichi came running, dropped his luggage and jumped to hug me around the neck.

Then, he kissed me on the cheek while saying, "Tadaima, Tatsuha."

Some of the people in the airport whispered but I didn't care. My god had come back to me.

I have finally caught my falling star.

"Okaeri."

With Ryuichi still hanging onto me, I wrapped one arm around him and kissed the top of his head. Taking up his bags in my other arm, we went out of Narita International Airport together.

Looking down at him for a few seconds, I could only think, "God has become my fallen angel."