Summary: Never challenge a monster, you will only loose. Tohru found this out the hard way... But, perhaps, losing isn't such a bad thing, especially, if you end up winning in the end. Sequel to "Monster In Us All". One shot.

Author's Note: Currently, this isn't beta read so if you see any mistakes please point them out. I had the hardesttime writing this. Seriously. You have noidea. Do enjoy.

Warnings:Dark, a confused Tohru and a manipulative Akito. Nothing new.

Disclaimer: Characters and other recognizable things in this story belong to their respective copyright owners. No copyright infringement is intended, I make no money from this fan work. The only thing I can lay claim to is the original character(s) and plot—or lack therefore.

To Defy And Defend

By

Honest Expressions

Silence... Silence, is all that seemed to be—something that continuous, never-ending as if etched in our very bones—as I watched him so carefully. Akito had long since moved back to his normal perch as if nothing had taken place, as if his lips had never met mine... As if... As if I wasn'there, and that hurt more than any physical pain he could ever inflict.

So much more...

But why that was, I wasn't sure. What had happened and, more importantly, what wasgoing to happen? My mind wondered with the possibilities, and I shivered. I will admit that I am afraid... Veryafraid. And he knows. He knew he was hurting me, knew that he had the advantage, knew the thoughts I was having, he knew too much and I knew not enough.

His eyes flashed wickedly as he turned lazily—but he held such grace in the simple move, such grace I wish I had—to face me. "Tohru-chan, is something the matter?"

And the hope that I had somehow clung to, dimmed a bit in the overwhelming darkness. "Akito-san...?" His eyes almost appeared scarier and darker as he edged closer and closer, but there was nowhere for me to go, there is no escape for a poor, little prey from the lion's claws.

"Oh, poor, poor, Tohru-chan," His fingertips traced along my lips in a mock way he did with his own moments before, "monsters never die; monsters only know how to destroy... I am sure the cat can attest that."

My heart pounded painfully in my ears as he mentioned Kyo... I didn't—couldn'tthink of his other form right now, not when an even more frightful monster stared back at me. Now, more than ever, I longed for the childlike days of innocence's, when the hero was always there to save the heroine and the monsters were always defeated... But I realize there is no such thing now, no matter how hard I believe. "Not so, Akito-san," And I did, deep in my heart, still believe there was some hope for Akito, for Kyo, for myself, for everyone, "and I will prove it to you."

"Is that a challenge?" His eyes glinted peculiarly when I nodded. "Hm, you shouldn't say things so hastily... You really should let Hatori look at those wounds—they look dreadful..."

As I stood to leave, I couldn't help but wonder, 'Just what had I gotten myself into? And how do I get myself out?'Mother always did warn me not to be so haste in my speech... It seems I haven't learned my lesson.

"Tohru." Hatori was waiting for me, his eyes were grim and his lips tight with worry, but it seem to melt away as he eyed me carefully.

"You expect me to be hurt worse." It wasn't a question, but a statement and I wasn't surprised by his shock in the least. Not many left with such little abrasions after a close and personal encounter with Akito... Hatori, of all people, could attest that.

"Hm, follow me." He led me to his office and the silence was comforting almost. "Your clavicle and lips are bleeding... Are you harmed elsewhere?"

My fingertips brushed along his bite warily, I flinched—from both the tenderness and memory of how I had gotten it. There was something about his question that disturbed me, was I hurt elsewhere? Physical, no, but I wasn't so sure about my mental... "No... No, that's it."

He reached for the disinfectant and I sighed. "Sit."

"Um, Hatori-san, I am fine now. Honest." I whispered as he finally finished tending to my few minor wounds. His eyes seemed to search much deeper then I wanted him to, I was afraid of what he might find. "Thank you for treating me... And more so for you concern."

"Apply this cream to prevent them from scaring." He handed me a plain tube and scribbled instructions on a Doctor's script. He was quiet for a long time, just watching me. "When Akito is interested in something, Tohru, it normally breaks... Be safe." He echoed Shigure's warning—one that had seemed so pointless at the time.

'Be safe?' I wasn't sure if I knew how to be... Regardless, Akito still needed my help and I couldn't just leave him to his darkness... It wouldn't be right. No one should be abandoned least of all someone who still had hope of redemption. "Of course, Hatori-san."

He didn't seem convinced, but before he could say otherwise, Akito appeared. His cool gaze leveled on me before settling on Hatori. "I wish to speak with Tohru-san—alone." And it was as he ordered. Akito's gaze leveled on me after Hatori left, skimming where he had marred my skin. "Tsk, such nasty love bites..."

My face felt hot as he appeared closer, his hand tracing along my every feature with skilled accuracy—it was very unnerving. "A-Akito—" My hand snapped to his wrist as he became more bold, dipping to places that were not proper to touch. "I don't understand..."

"I am proving my point." His left hand settled on my cheek, it was almost lovingly if his smirk wasn't so fierce. "I will win, I will use you, I will break you, and, finally, I will destroyyou completely."

'No, Akito-san, you won't. I will show you that you are wrong; I will break your shell. I will be the victor here... Monsters can change.'But I didn't dare voice my mental declaration for fear of knowing how he would react... Yet, I meant ever word, I would win and I would heal him. It is simply a matter of time.

He tugged at the strands of my hair, dragging me closer to his mouth. His eyes danced with various emotions, amusement being the most noticeable. "Don't worry, dear Tohru-chan, I promise you will enjoy the road to hell." He lips muffled my response as he slanted me painfully over Hatori's desk.

Despite his words, I wouldn't follow him, but he would follow me on our road to redemption... I just prayed we could remain on it long enough to reach our destination...

My lips and lower back ached painfully as I pushed myself up the last few steps to Shigure's house. Luckily for me, Hatori had returned quickly and saved me from whatever fate Akito had planned—I may be naive, but I am not so stupid enough to have some idea of what he wanted...

"Don't worry,dearTohru-chan, I promise you will enjoy the road to hell." The memory of those words and his lips made me shiver as it stirred something in my inner being that I didn't fully understand. What wouldhave happened had Akito and I been truly alone?

That certainly is a road best left untraveled. I changed into my slippers and relaxed as I enjoyed just being home—where I am safe."I am back! Sorry for keeping you waiting, I will start dinner now..."

"Ah, Tohru-kun! Welcome home, our little flower." Shigure's voice held all his normal playfulness, but his eyes were glinting with curiosity and worry... He would want answers as soon as we were alone, I just wasn't sure I would be able to give them.

"Disgust old man." Kyo grumbled, his eyes finally fixed on me. "Oi, where'd you run off to? The dog refused to tell us."

"I said I didn't know, Kyo-kun!" Shigure whined, his eyes watery. "You are all so cruel!"

"Oh, well... I just went out... Sorry for the trouble." I felt bad for lying, but Kyo wouldn't take the news that I was Akito very well... Especially if he heard the whole story... "Pardon me." And I went into shut down mode, fixing everything without thought, because everythought I had was centered on him... This, I took as a bad sign...

"Don't worry,dearTohru-chan, I promise you will enjoy the road to hell."

Oh, what will I do?

The morning came before I knew it, and we headed off to school. Somehow, I felt today wasn't right, that something was going to happen... I just wasn't sure what that "something" might be, and I was more unsure about finding out… Some things are best left unknown.

Yet, the day passed without a problem, and I felt relaxed for the first time since my meeting with Akito. The wind brushed coldly through my uniform as I made my way down the street alone—Yuki had a council meeting, and Kyo had run off somewhere—but I didn't mind, it seemed very peaceful now.

"Enjoying yourself, Tohru-chan?" Akito appeared out of seemingly nowhere, his eyes carefully guarded while his lips broke out into a chilling smirk—a smirk that promised so much, but a smirk that also hid even more.

"Y-Yes..." Forcing myself to relax, I returned his frightening grin with a gentler one—one that hid nothing and promised what it gave. "It is a beautiful day... How are you, Akito-san?"

"Beautiful? It's Spring, the pollen is killing me. Beautiful!" He snorted, and I learned something: Akito is a realist and I am a dreamer... Perhaps we can meet somewhere in the middle, there, we can find common ground.

"O-Oh... I thought it looked really nice outside... The flowers are beautiful. Um," I shifted under his heavy stare, "is there something you needed, Akito-san?"

If his grin was frightening before, it became downright terrifying now. "I suppose you could say that, Tohru-chan... Come with me." He held out his hand for me to take. "I promise I do not bite..."

That was a lie—I could prove that if I moved the collar of my shirt down—yet it didn't matter, I didn't have a choice, I had to go with him. "Where are we going?" I managed to ask after several uncomfortable moments.

"It's a surprise." He turned his eyes—eyes that seemed more subdue and bored then our previous meeting—to me. "Do you like surprises?"

"Yes! I think surprises are great!" He smirked, I smiled, and we walked in silence, but this time, it was actually comfortable. 'Akito-san, you can be kind... Can't you? A monster doesn't have that trait...'

He finally came to a halt at the entrance to the park—he frowned at the cherry blossoms that were caught in his hair, while I tried not to giggle. "Surprise." He waved his hand around in a sarcastic gesturing manner.

"Oh! This is so nice and thoughtful!" He tugged me over to where a comfortable, checkered blanket was spread out and a picnic basket sat onto of that. "Are we having a picnic? Ilove picnics..."

His jaw twitched and I had a feeling I has said something that he found incredibly stupid. "Yes, yes we are having a picnic, Tohru-chan."

"Great!" This could be my chance, this could be the opportunity I had been looking for, perhaps here I could prove that there is a road to redemption and it is worth traveling. "Thank you so much, Akito-san!"

He studied me silently as I unpacked the lunch he brought—his eyes were not cold, but curious, as if he did not know how to take me. "Tohru-chan, what are you thinking?"

I stilled. "What was I thinking? Well, I was thinking how nice it was of you to do this... And... And that I want to help you."

His eyes narrowed, they were no longer curious or open, but guarded and cold. "You can't save the devil, and you can't damn god. So don't bother."

"No," I agreed quietly. "No, you can't... The devil has no good left in him, and God is nothing but good... People aren't God or the devil, they are something in-between, they can be good or evil… Everyone has a choice."

His gaze flickered again, the flames calming just a bit and slipping into his previous mask. "In between, hm? And, Tohru-chan, where do you think I fit in?"

Although curiosity was there, I knew to walk lightly because the anger was lurking right below the surface. "Akito-san, as I said before, you are human... I am human... We aren't perfect, we are flawed, and all that we can do is try our best, ne?"

"Hm." He took a bite of a rice ball, ignoring me for now. But I could tell I had said something to make him think, that I took as a good sign.

At first, I was afraid, but now I felt more confident, I now had a victory mark. 'Akito-san, I have hope, I have faith and I will continue to believe that you can be saved.'If I didn't, who would? And what hope would there be for the zodiac?

He watched me eat, eating little himself. His eyes were now neutral, but there was a flicker between curiosity and amusement. Part of me desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, but for the first time in a long time, Akito seemed at ease and I did not want to disturb that.

After finishing my last bite, I sat there in the relative silence, watching Akito observe the world around us. It was calm, it was quiet, and it was relaxing. For a while at least, I could enjoy myself.

Akito-san was too quiet though, he remained too eerily silent, and something told me that it might not be such a good thing after all and that I might need to pay closer attention. "Problem, Tohru-chan?" He finally turned to address me after an hour of peace—yet, it was never truly uncomfortable; we took solace in the stillness.

"No, Akito-san, I was just thinking." I smiled at him, he didn't return it, but I didn't let it bother or discourage me in the slightest; Mom wouldn't have given up, and neither would I. "Would it be so bad to change? Would it kill you to let yourself be human?"

"Do you ever think before speaking?" He watched me with his calculating and so-so cold eyes. "I could ask you them same thing about changing. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum, who is to say 'I am right' or 'you are wrong'?"

"I am not judging you, Akito-san." I whispered, I felt at a loss, I had no idea how to fix this, of how to fix him... If that were even possible. "Not at all. I just want you to be happy."

"Happy?" He scoffed. "There is no such thing as happiness; it is just a false sense of security that people force upon themselves."

And there, there was my first clue. If I wanted to change anything, if I wanted to prove to him that I was right, I would have to find something that made him happy... This was certainly deserving of the word 'challenge'. "I see."

He locked eyes with me, and I truly did see... Even if I had no desire to do so.

If picnics did not make him happy, if the calmness of yesterday couldn't make him smile, then I was not sure what would. Not that I planned to give up, no, I would show him the truth—after all, it is the truth that makes us free.

"Akito-san, I brought you something..."

He eyed the box warily. "You brought me something? Hn. Bring it to me." And I did. He frowned at the cake—I had put everything I had into making it, adding little decorations that might bring a little joy to him. "I hate chocolate."

"Oh..." I frowned at his obvious displeasure.. It seems I can't do anything right. "I am sorry... I have always loved cakes myself! I thought this might cheer you up. I-I should have asked first... Silly me!"

He watched me for the longest time before taking a small bite. His expression never changed, never faltered, but I knew he did enjoy it only by the brief flicker his eyes into a look of contentment.

While I simply enjoyed the silence and watching him eat. Change happens little by little; it is the small things that shape and molds us. I would need patience if I want to prove that and to help Akito. 'The road to redemption is a much smoother path, a much safer one, even if it is very small.'I hid my smile when he asked for another piece. 'But it isn't so hard to find…'

Happiness is unique to each individual, there are no two people alike, Akito would be no different; I would have to find something fitted to his personality... But what did I know about Akito? 'He is a hurt and lost young man... He has suffered through many things... He truly is a mystery to me...'

"Are you okay, Honda-san?" I didn't have to glance up at Yuki to see his worry—they allhave been worried about me, even if it was needless. "You haven't been yourself lately... Is something wrong?"

"No," It was a lie, yes something was wrong, if I wasn't careful, I would lose to Akito and he would be lost forever. No, nothing was right anymore. "I am fine, Yuki-kun, don't worry about me! I couldn't be happier!" Unless... Unless Akito was happy...

His expression showed that he still was, and if I had done anything, I had only brought him moreconcern... How useless am I? "All right... But, please, tell us if there is something wrong. We are your friends."

"Thank you." Yuki had brought me happiness by his statement; he made me smile... He also gave me a very good idea. 'I wish you could feel the same way, Akito-san...'"I need to step out for a bit... I will be back before dark." I didn't look at any of them, I knew I was worrying them more, but it would all be fine as soon as Akito was straightened out, everything would fall into place then.

The Main House never seemed so far away, and I couldn't get there quick enough. 'Perhaps what you need, Akito-san, is a friend!'Had he ever really had someone close to him? He seemed hated by all the zodiac members in some way... 'Bitter. You are bitter, aren't you, Akito-san?'

"Tohru-chan." He smirked as I nearly stumbled at his sudden arrival, he appeared to be waiting for me, or maybe that is what I selfishly desired.

"Akito-san." I kneeled beside him on the floor, watching the birds as he did. "Can I... Can I ask you something?"

"Hm." He paid me no mind, his focus elsewhere.

I wasn't sure if I should take that as a 'yes' or 'no'. "Akito-san, I was thinking... The best kind of happiness and love is what comes from a friend... Akito-san, I want us to be friends."

He finally looked at me, his frown made me falter slightly. "Friends? You want to be friendswith me? What kind of happiness do you expect that to bring?"

"I don't know... I do know that being loved and loving others makes me happy." I timidly moved forward, close enough to embrace him if I were bold enough. "Can't you at least try?"

"I told you, monsters only know how to destroy. You can ask any of my zodiac and they will tell you that I ama monster."

This wasn't going as I wished... Not that I honestly expected things to be solved so easily, but the look in his eyes—that lost and dark look—pushed me. "Then prove them right and me wrong."

He just smirked. "Fine, Tohru-chan, I will give you a month to become my 'friend'. Friendship means trust, correct? If you can make me trust you by then, I will admit defeat. But if I win, you will admit defeat...andyou will forfeit your memories."

My throat closed. Only a month? It wasn't a long amount of time... And if I lost, I would lose my memories, allmy precious memories... I didn't want to forget, I didn't want to lose my place. But I would try; I owed them all too much not to. "I accept."

He said no more, but he seemed brighter at my acceptance, I wasn't sure if he was eager for me to lose my memories or if it was something else. But I didn't care, for this moment, Akito was happy.

I smiled and enjoyed the view with him. 'One month? I will show you, Akito-san!'

My life didn't slow down for my new challenge, if anything, it seem to speed up. My work with the demands of school and taking care of a household left me little time to work on Akito's trust issues, let alone the little things I needed to get done. "Oh..." It seemed almost hopeless now; the deadline was approaching faster and faster...

"Ne, Tohru! Are you okay?" Momiji had jumped at the chance to walk me to the Main House after school, and I was thankful for the company.

"I am great." And I am, and I was, and I would be. "I am sorry, I was just thinking. Momiji-kun... Ne, um, Momiji-kun, what makes you trust someone?"

He blinked, but he didn't comment if he had found the question odd. "Trust? Hm. That is a hard thing... I trust you, Tohru! You are a very trustworthy person."

"Thanks, Momiji-kun." My brow pinched. 'Now, if only Akito-san saw that...'

He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm. "Tohru, what is this about? Is there something I can do? You haven't been yourself lately... Is something wrong?"

Oh, that wasn't good, I don't like to worry others and it seems I have failed at that. "Oh, I am sorry... I didn't mean to worry you... I've just... Well, I have a lot on my mind, that's all." My eyes drifted to Akito's window—oddly enough, he was watching us both, but from here, I couldn't read his expression.

"You shouldn't worry so much, Tohru!" Momiji scolded me lightly, but the concern was still in his eyes. "We are here! Who did you want to see? I think Ha-ri is—"

"I wanted to see Akito-san." The look on his face said it all, but I didn't let it bother me, I had a challenge to win. "Please keep this a secret, Momiji-kun, I... Just please?"

"For you Tohru, I will." The hand on my arm tightened, his eyes seemed more mature, more knowing then they should be. "Please be careful and tell me if he does anything to hurt you."

I barely stopped myself from reaching for the spot where he had bit me, even though the wound was long gone, the feeling remained. "Of course, but there is no reason to worry!" We both knew my words were hollow, but he let me go either way.

"Enjoying yourself, Tohru-chan?" Akito looked slightly miffed, but otherwise composed. "I don't know why you bother with their company. Such useless animals."

"Momiji-kun is my friend... Just like you." I watched his reaction; he looked torn between annoyance and amusement and I wasn't sure if either one was a good thing.

"The rabbit and I are nothing alike, don't be ridiculous." I noted his reaction in the back of my head; he didn't like to be compared to others. "I hate this weather."

The clouds looked like there were full of water, but so beautifully so—the sky was pure sky blue and mixing that with the dark clouds was picture perfect. "I think it is beautiful today."

He snorted. "You would." He shivered, and I moved a little closer to share my body heat. He tensed when I did this. "What are you doing?"

"You looked cold... I am sorry." But I didn't move away and he didn't either. Instead, I edged a little closer so that his cool skin brushed mine. "Better?"

He didn't say another word, but focused on the view—he was tense, uncomfortable, but he did not push me away. That, was a good sign.

Later that day, I left, feeling I had a small victory... But I wondered how long that would last and who would win in the end.

Work seemed endless, but I didn't mind because I was blessed with a job and nice co-workers. "See you later!" I stretched my back before heading out. "Ah, what a nice day."

"Your opinion." Akito's slow drawl almost made me jump and scream. He frowned, rubbing his ear with an irritated look. "Are you always this jumpy?"

"Uh, no-no... I just wasn't expecting you." And I hadn't. Seeing him here was about the last thing I would expect since it was so out of character for Akito. "Not that it isn't nice to see you, Akito-san! But... Why are you here?"

"You have three days." He shrugged lazily, heading down the path I took home. "I thought I would remind you."

There was more, he had more to say, but I did as because wasn't so sure I wanted to know. Finally, I snapped myself from my thoughts and hurried after him. "Oh, I see. Three days is still a long time," it wasn't and I was lying. "so we will see."

"You will lose." He whispered softly, so softly I wasn't sure he was even talking to me. "You willlose, Tohru, because I never do."

"Why can't we both win?" He snorted at that. "Why not, Akito-san?"

"That isn't possible, there can only be one winner, so someone has to lose." The fire in his eyes both startled me and gave me hope. "I will not lose."

His logic was correct, but I didn't see it that way. "It doesn't have to be that way..." And it didn't, but convincing him of that would be no easy task. Nothing is easy when Akito is concerned.

The woods were quiet other than the shuffling of our feet and our soft breaths. It was the perfect time to think, to plan, but I seemed utterly helpless and lost. The house was within sight now, but I was ready for him to leave just yet. "Thank you for walking with me, Akito-san."

"Hm, I am staying for dinner..." I knew that if I was planning, Akito would be as well—harder than I and much sneakier as well. "What are you cooking?"

"Is there anything special you would like?" I watched his eyes as carefully as I could; he actually seemed to be thinking of something.

"The cake that you fixed for me?" My heart fluttered happily at that, "Anything but that. Sweets are bad for one's health."

My hope died. "Oh, I see. I am sorry... I should have thought of that, how selfish of me. Don't worry; I will fix something healthy then!"

He came to a swift halt, forcing me to stop with him as he turned his now infuriated eyes to mine. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" He startled me and I was not sure how to react.

"That.Why do you always have to please everyone? Why don't you try pleasing yourself for once? Why can't you be selfish?"

"I am." He scoffed and turned to leave, but I grabbed his hand to stop him. "I am, Akito-san. I am here because I want to be here... My presence in this house is an annoyance to you, but I want to stay here because I am happy. I want to be your friend when you obviously don't want to be mine... Being your friend would make me very happy. I am a very selfish person, Akito-san; you just haven't noticed it yet."

This time, he didn't snort or scoff, he just stared at me. "You are a fool, Tohru." And he left me standing there in the woods, watching after him with confusion and an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Today was the day, my time was up and I had failed. 'Just as you said, Akito-san.'He was right, and I never felt more helpless in my entire life. But I will take my punishment; I deserve it for failing so.

He never made a move to me, never turned to acknowledge that I was there—it hurt. It hurt more than I was willing to admit to myself. "Hn. Do you know what today is, Tohru-chan?"

"The deadline." My eyes dropped to where my hands were bunching at my skirt—it was painful to look my failure in the face. "I...I..."

He turned to me with a lazy smile. "Yes, Tohru-chan?" He slowly advanced on me, his smile becoming even more chilling as he approached. "What is it?"

"Nothing." I whispered. My heart felt crushed, torn, I didn't know what to say.

"As if," He snarled, his hot breath and closeness made me freeze, "I would evertrust you... As if youcould ever make me happy. You lose, Tohru-chan, and I win. Just as I told you I would. I neverlose."

My mind wondered and my heart fluttered painfully. This was never about winning; I honestly wanted to be Akito's friend... I had honestly wanted to help him... But it was all for selfish reasons and that was hardly a way to build trust, hardly a way to made someone happy. It was no wonder he didn't trust me, no wonder I couldn't find out his deepest secrets. My lips trembled as I gathered up my nerves for my boldest attempt. "Akito—"

"No," He watched me firmly as I edged closer and closer—this time, hewas the prey, frightened and unsure. "No, Tohru, you have lost. Leave me be. You... You can keep your memories, just leave."

"No," My hands cupped his cheeks as I forced him to come closer. "I won't, Akito-san, I won't leave you to your darkness... If I have to lose my memories, so be it... But, I still want to be your friend.. I-I loveyou." And I pressed my lips to his.

He went completely still, not even daring to breath. Finally, he responded, this time, it was tender; he let me be in control as he acted so lost and desperate for something—some form of affection, some form of feeling, something that we all seek: Love."Tohru," He whispered against my lips, "you are a fool."

My mind flashbacked to when he had said those words in the woods, they rang truer now, for reasons I wasn't sure of. "Perhaps so." I muttered back. "Perhaps I am. But I do love you... If you want my memories gone, fine. But can you honestly say we aren't friends? Can you honestly say that you don't trust me? Can you honestly say you aren't happy?"

"No." He gritted out through clenched teeth, turning his eyes away from mine in some way to escape his failure, too.

My heart fluttered oddly in my chest. "Love can bring happiness, love can heal, but you have to acceptit and return it." I waited anxiously, not even breathing. We couldn't be more different... There possible wasn't two people more different than us on this entirely planet... Perhaps, perhaps, thatis what makes it work... I am certainly willing to try.

He searched my eyes, and finally kissed me again. He didn't need to say another word, I now knew that we were both willingto try, and that is all that it takes.

The end...