Disclaimer: I own nothing about Phantom of the Opera, whether it is Gaston Leroux's version, or Webber's version, or any other version in between. Thank you, and enjoy!
Max: Hello phangirls of the world, it's me, Maxniss Everide! And here's everyone's favorite opera ghost, Erik!
Erik: Must I even waste my time doing this?
Max: YES!
Erik: Are you trying to be me by threatening me to do this?
Max: Basically, yes. I've always wanted to BE you, not MARRY you. Trust me, there's a difference.
Erik: But still just as creepy.
Max: Not as creepy as stalking a girl much younger than you, therefore making you a pedophile.
Erik: Arguing with me is not going to make me do as you ask
Max: ... True. And what are we doing here today, Erik?
Erik: Well, I'm here because you kidnapped me to tell everyone to write more "Phanfictions" to at least beat the Maximum Ride archive in the popularity list. Now, I don't quite understand how you kidnapped me.
Max: Simple, I had Christine distract you while I injected you with a knockout drug. When you woke up, you were here. The drug also made you forget what happened, Hehe.
Erik: Where is she now?
Max: Who?
Erik: CHRISTINE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! THE OTHER HALF OF MY SOUL!
Max: Wow, don't get so dramatic! She's in the other room, with Raoul and Willoughby.
Erik: Who's Willoughby?
Max: My dog. He doesn't like fops much, so Raoul probably isn't having so much fun in there.
-Dog growls come from the other room-
Erik: That sounds painful
Max: Nothing happened to him... Yet
Erik: Ha! Wait, Christine won't be hurt, will she?
Max: Heck, no! He loves blondes!
Erik: Phew! So as Max here said, we need to beat the Maximum Ride archive, which begs me to ask this question- isn't half of your penname Maximum Ride?
Max: Yes, I love that book series as well as Hunger Games, but the Phantom of the Opera archive is SO close to beating it, that I couldn't help but want to give it a boost.
Erik: Hmmm, so this means that people could write more things about me?
Max: Yup.
Erik: Do I end up with Christine in these...?
Max: Only in about... Hmm let me see... 99.9% of them.
Erik: What about that other 1%?
Max: Raoul fans that should be Pun jabbed.
-Erik takes out Punjab lasso-
Max: No, you don't need to do that, I'm sure the millions of other phans have done that for you.
-Though not completely convinced, Erik puts away lasso-
Max: Okay, so... So far, it's... The Phantom of the Opera - 9,820, Maximum Ride- 12,720. We can beat them!
Erik: Is Christine still out there?
-Dog barking, growling, and ripping. Woman's screams are heard-
Max: Did Christine just scream...?
Erik: No, too low-pitched to be her. It's the fop.
Max: Oh... yay…
Erik: I presume that you should think of something else to write, if you wish.
Max: And reviews would be nice
Erik: Yes, that would be nice
Max: We'll count up to the amount of stories we have on here by having Erik, Christine, Raoul, me- Maxniss, and possibly one of my friends do some goofy things at my house, or just argue.
Erik: What kind of things...?
Max: Muahaha, you shall see
Erik: I don't like the sound of that. So, please review to tell us what we should do, and keep it appropriate, for my sake -this girl is crazy.
Max: I am not! I told you I didn't want to marry you!
Erik: Yes, I know, but you're still mentally unstable due to the fact that you brought the Phantom of the Opera into your domain.
Max: And I brought Christine, who can most likely calm you down.
Erik: And the fop, who I will most likely strangle in this time period as well as my own.
Max: …
Erik: Also, I conclude that I have hidden the gunpowder under your house, so if you do not do as I tell you, there may be a requiem mass, which is not at all gay.
Max: I'm assuming you mean happy?
Erik: No! It is not at all happy!
Max: Erik….. I thought you liked Christine….? Don't tell me you're into fops now!
Erik: What? What are you speaking of, nasty girl? I simply meant that the requiem mass is not at all gay, which if you do not completely understand me, means that it will not be happy or good, or joyful or whatever you want to call it. Whatever you thought I meant is strictly insufficient to what I meant.
Max: Right, back then… that's what "gay" meant. Okay, I knew that, but for my sake, don't say that phrase again!
Erik: The requiem mass is not at all gay.
Max: Gah! Shut up!
Erik: The requiem mass is not at all gay.
Max: FINE YOU WIN! NOW SHUT UP!
Erik: Then do as I say.
Max: What?
Erik: Bring Christine to me, and no harm will be done.
Max: Okay- in the next chapter.
Erik: Fine, so let's conclude this.
Max: One, two, and three...
Erik and Max: Review, that's all we ask of you!
Max: And write stories too!
-italics mean that there is singing!-