Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Missing Pages

Chapter 7: Day ? - Remembrance

I could hear him say, in that stern-like tone of his, "Axel, you're late." I wanted to see him sitting there ready for a "man-to-man" conversation though it was really just a stupid conversation about life. I wanted to poke fun at him for not understanding the basics of living, for not knowing what to do in certain situations, for his innocence. Hey Roxas, if i wait here for you, will you appear?

I took my regular seat on that familiar ledge and somehow felt the WINNER stick in my pocket. Heh, I'd forgotten all about that. I sighed and looked up at the sky. Sunset was nearing. Then again, I thought the same thing 8 hours ago yet the sky had not changed. Twilight Town was stuck in a perpetual before-sunset scene, refusing to move forward until I did. The clouds remained still, the people moving, but not making a sound.

I sighed, just as I did the time before, and thought the same recurring thought, 'Will you be up here when I come back for sunset? Will you look up at me, smile and tell me that you'd been waiting for hours?' Roxas, I want to see you, but as long as it's still the time "before sunset" I can't see you. So come soon. So we can watch this last sunset that has waited for just you and I and no one else.

As I made my way to the ice cream shop, I noticed the setting change, the shadows growing longer, and the light growing dimmer. I smiled. He came. I raced back to the clock tower, two ice creams stashed away as I stealthily made my way through town and up the stairs. It probably would have been easier to use the dark corridor, but I liked the feeling of having everything inside me burn, have it race and pound. I felt alive, though I knew that I was already on the brink of disappearing. This "Twilight Town" is the last of what I was, waiting for just one last goodbye from a good friend, or whatever it was he meant to me at this point.

I threw the door open, panting and wheezing, but then my breath caught, silencing my unsteady breaths.

There was shuffling on the other side, just around the corner from where I stood. I eased my breathing, pressing a hand to my chest and straightened myself out. There was no point in showing him how desperate I was right? If we were going to part, might as well make it something to be proud of. Not that either of us will remember it after.

"Finally woken up?" I asked him, standing right on the ledge, staring at the sky that had finally changed. It was almost sunset, and this time, I was sure it would come.

"Axel." He said flawlessly, without a stutter, an unsure question mark or any hint of accusation. Just 'Axel.' Just Axel.

I didn't know what I was saying then. I was just talking, trying to keep my cool, hoping to make this look better than I had pictured. There was some nostalgia in this scene, perhaps it was because I had known all along. Maybe I'd dreamed of it and that's why I'm still here, talking to him, his conscience at least, before he disappeared into Sora and I to... wherever it is we Nobodies go.

The clouds passed by overheard, assuring me that time was passing. I could feel the wind blow now, I could hear the people now. As I spoke to him, I gave him a glance. I was tired, and I could tell he was too. His eyes were weary, but it looked like he was done, finished with what he needed to do.

I gazed into his face, lost myself in his eyes and remembered everything. The original blank eyes that I made fun of, the fear of taking a bath, and the love he always forgot. I remember his betrayal, I also remember mine. I can't remember what he did to me, but I remember that it hurt. I remember the word "replacement" but I'm not sure what it means. I remember my name disappearing from the pages of his diary. I remember the new blank eyes that I saw; that probably hurt me the most. He didn't even remember who I was, not in his fabricated world.

Hey Roxas. Can you tell me how long forever is?

"You have a heart, don't you?" I asked him. I seem to be so full of questions now, but somehow, this question doesn't seem so new.

Roxas smiled and I think that answered it all. He said he wasn't sure, but I knew he did. Whatever though. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't need to remember anymore. I just need this moment and I'll be alright. We both will. No matter what happened before, all that matters is what happens right now. Just now. And that's all we'll need.

I handed him the ice cream I got from his WINNER stick, a well-deserved prize for him I'd say. Then we began to reminisce. I don't know why because I clearly remember telling myself I didn't need to remember. I just felt like it was right. If this is where our conversation led us, then so be it. He was wondering about his "friends"- those Twilight Town kids.

"You should go see them again, looking for your answer." I told him, smiling, though inside I was rather bitter. Why? Aren't I enough? Those kids were fake, lies told to you so you would be of use to the organization. No... I shouldn't be like this. I can't. They made him happy when I could only hurt him. Maybe it would have been better off for him to be more fond of them than of me... Hah... Didn't realize that'd hurt so much.

He gave me a soft laugh and replied, "Yeah... So I have to go. Sora's waiting for me."

Yes, I know that too.

I kept my smile up, waiting for the clouds to pass and the sun to fall, because when they do, you'll be gone and so will I. It won't be long before I won't even be able to talk to you like this, caught in the moment and lost in our shared memories.

"Yeah, I guess he is." I replied, taking a large bite from my ice cream.

And then there it was. I remembered. I remembered just as Roxas started to glow. I remember this dream. I really did see this coming before. I knew it so long ago and yet I continued to stay by his side. Am I fool? Heh... I wish I could say I would have gone a different route if I could, but I can't, because I wouldn't. I want this ending more than any other. Despite this being our true and final goodbye, I'm alright. Even if I no longer exist, he will, and I knew right from the start also, that Roxas wouldn't have the same ending as us because he was different in all sense of the word.

"See you, Axel."

"See ya, partner."

The two of us are engulfed in a sea of white and wisps of light swallowing us whole. Hey Roxas, I want to tell you something, something I should have told you a long long time ago. You may not be able to tell me how long forever is, and I may no longer be able to give you everything that I am, but... a long time ago, you told me you loved me. It's my turn now.

My eyes soften and I reach for Roxas, startling him a bit, but he doesn't flinch, but moves in closer instead almost on reflex, asking me with his eyes what I was doing. I push myself forward, losing feeling in almost all parts of my body, pushing my limits to what I can handle and kiss him lightly, hoping that he'll remember at least this.

"I love you, Roxas." His eyes widen. I smile at his shocked face. He seems to have remembered something. I'm glad I finally said it.

And that's where our shared dream ends.

"Hey, Roxas!"

"Yes?"

Somewhere in the World that Never Was, Sora flinches as if he'd just snapped back to reality. Bewildered out of his mind, and unsure of his situation.

"I like you Axel."

"You're not half bad yourself, kid,"

Sora whipped his head around, examining his surroundings. "Did you guys see that?" Sora cried, trying to find that hooded keyblade wielder, but to no avail. Donald and Goofy stared at him funny as he seemed to be searching for an imaginary foe. "What?"

"Up already?"

"I heard your footsteps."

"What are you talking about Sora? We're the only ones here. We've been with you the whole time." The two replied. Was Sora going crazy? No way! He swore on his life that he just fought with someone! But... What? He was so confused...

I want to love Axel.

"He doesn't need to remember this."

Sora frowned. Something was different inside him, but it was weird. He couldn't describe it. He placed a hand to his chest and frowned. What was it?

"Promise me this."

"I promise you, Roxas. We'll be together forever. Forever and ever. A pinky promise, 'kay? I can't break this anymore, Roxas. Not a pinky promise. I promise you this."

"You ready Sora?" Donald asked. Sora blinked. Yeah. He was alright. He was alright but...? No, he had a mission to do. He couldn't just stand here and idle the time away. He had to take Organization XIII down!

"Axel? Was that wrong?"

"No, it's alright. The more the merrier, right?"

Sora was about to run straight forward when he began to hear fluttering in the air. He paused a moment before glancing up, wondering if he really was going crazy. Then, from out of nowhere, a shower of papers began to fall from the sky like someone's last and final attempt to reveal a secret truth. Sora raised his hand to try and grab the nearest one.

"Silly, just because YOU have a next life..."

The brunette blinked, confused as to what it was at first, but then he began to read. The paper he had grabbed was burned around the edges and crumpled, but it was clear that it was flattened out again so that someone could read it. The text was written in blue ink and the handwriting was really messy, as if a 7 year old had written it. The entry was long, but the writing got better as the text continued, almost as if the person was finally remembering how to write properly.

"Sora, you're lucky..."

"Huh? Whatcha got there, Sora?" Goofy asked curiously, peering over the boy's shoulder to take a peek at the suspicious paper.

The paper began:

Day one - Axel told me Saix wanted me to write in this diary. I'm not really sure what to write. Axel's my teacher. Saix is... Saix. I'm not really getting along with anyone.

Sora paused in his reading for a moment, feeling his chest clench painfully. He scanned the rest of the paper, catching a continuous set of words: I don't want to forget. Sora's eyes watered. He couldn't explain why, but the tears just started flowing from his eyes nonstop, refusing to give any reason to his sudden outburst. It was worse than when he was in Twilight Town at the train station. It was worse than when he lost Riku and Kairi. His heart was breaking everywhere, chipping and cracking until it didn't seem amendable at all.

"Sora?" Donald and Goofy exclaimed. "Hey! What's wrong?"

Sora fell to the floor, crouched in an agonizing position and still crying his eyes out. He crumpled the paper in his fist and sobbed even harder as he caught sight of another entry.

Day six - Axel promised to be with me forever.

Sora couldn't see anymore, he was barely conscious now, enveloped in the voices of the floating entries around him. Suddenly, it was no longer his voice echoing in his head, beginning a new and final entry.

Day XXX - I saw Axel on the clock tower one last time. He told me he loved me. This is my final entry, so I'll ingrain this on my heart if I can't write it on paper. I've always loved Axel and he loved me. That is our final truth. ...Axel asked me once, how long was forever? I have an answer now. Forever... at least, for you and I, Axel... lies in the missing pages of my heart, of which lies your heart as well. As long as these pages and my conscience exist, you and I exist. That is our forever.

MISSION COMPLETE

TA: So... This is sad but this is only the second story I've finished for Akuroku. XD; I feel pathetic. Well, tell me what you guys think! :D