It had been three years since the Blight was defeated. Three years since Loghain died killing the archdemon. And three long years while Elissa rebuilt the wardens by herself. Alistair had abandoned her and the party at the Landsmeet, simply because she did what was necessary by recruiting Loghain. Alistair had promised to never hurt her, he swore he would always love her, but in that moment he betrayed their love, screaming in front of the Landsmeet that conscripting Loghain cheapened the wardens and that he would not stand for it. Elissa had tried to explain, tried to calm Alistair down, but he would not permit it. As he turned to walk away, Elissa grabbed his arm, to tried to reason with him. Instead, Alistair whipped around, whispered "Unhand me you traitorous bitch", and pushed her away. Zevran caught Elissa before she fell to the ground, and the last the party saw of Alistair was his back as he left the Landsmeet chamber.

Elissa had been devastated. She loved Alistair with all of her heart and hoped that he would be at camp after the Landsmeet. She needed to explain why she allowed Loghain to join the wardens, even though it killed her inside. She hated Loghain as much as Alistair did, if not more. While it may have been Howe who slaughtered her family, Loghain permitted it. However, when she returned to camp, Alistair was gone, as was his gear.

Elissa's soul died a little more each day that passed without Alistair returning.

After the Blight was defeated, Elissa went to Vigil's Keep to recruit more Wardens. As months turned into years, she became close to her new Warden friends, and began to feel like she was starting to heal.

They had just finished lunch and the Wardens decided to chat in Elissa's office before continuing their daily chores and duties. Anders, Nate and Elissa sat around the fire in her office, telling stories and laughing while Sir Pounce-A-Lot bounded between them, playing with some invisible mote of dust.

"...And so Nate walks into the room and there's Oghren, naked as the day he was born, chasing after one of the Mabari hounds who has Oghren's pants." Anders barely manages to spit out the words before falling over in his chair in a fit of laughter.

Elissa throws her head back and laughs, tears coming to her eyes from laughing so hard. Elissa looks over to Nate, to see that he is chuckling too.

"Scarred me for life" Nate drawls, barely keeping the smile off his face in his attempt to pretend that he was indeed emotionally scarred by the experience.

All three continue laughing, their boisterous laughter carrying throughout the room and into the hallway when one of the Keep guards knocks on the half-opened door to Elissa's office.

"Come in" Elissa manages to get out between laughs. Still smiling and laughing, Elissa turns to see who needed to speak with her.

"Oh hello Matthew. What can ..." Just then someone steps out from behind Matthew and Elissa's eyes go wide and her lower lip trembles. It can't be, not him, Elissa thought.

Regaining her composure, Elissa's eyes snap back to Matthew, ignoring the man behind him. "What is going on?" Elissa asks, with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Umm, Commander." Matthew stumbles, unsure why the commander is suddenly angry. "This man arrived at the Keep asking to speak to you."

Elissa stood up and walked over to her desk in a daze. "Anders, Nate and Matthew, if you would excuse me, I need to speak to our guest."

Anders and Nate exchanged confused glances, then complied with Elissa's request. "I'll be right outside if you need me, Commander" said Matthew before following Anders and Nate out of the door and closing it behind them.

The guest was caught off guard by the fact that he was now alone with Elissa. He remained standing where he was, in front of her desk, and looked over to Elissa to see what she would do.

Elissa, however, could not bring herself to look up at him. Staring at her desk, she attempted to get her emotions under control. Anger, confusion, hurt, and fury broiled within her. Stamping down on all of them, Elissa put on a cold, detached air and looked up to the man standing in front of her.

"Alistair." Elissa stated his name, but was unable to continue speaking. She had not spoken his name for three years, and doing so almost broke her careful facade of detached indifference. Unable to continue speaking, Elissa motioned for the chair in front of her desk. Understanding her request, Alistair sat in the chair and looked into her face. I forgot how stunningly beautiful she is. I've missed her so much. Alistair thought.

Regaining her ability to speak, Elissa asked "Why are you here?"

Although he heard the destain in her voice, Alistair continued looking into her eyes. "I needed to tell you...I was wrong. You did the right thing in conscripting Loghain. I...I went to the town where Duncan grew up and found an old journal of his."

Alistair reached behind him and pulled a dirty old journal from his pants. Elissa's expression had not changed from the detached, hateful glare she began the conversation with.

Alistair looked away and continued. "I now know that a warden is needed to kill the archdemon and the warden who does so dies. I also know that if Duncan had been alive, he would have conscripted Loghain too."

Elissa reached out and took the book from Alistair's hands. Confusion and anger flitted across Alistair's face. "What are you doing?"

Stoically, Elissa answered "This is property of the Grey Wardens. And should be kept in the Grey Warden library, not in the hands of an outsider." Elissa sneered at the last word, emphasizing that Alistair no longer had the honor of being called a Grey Warden.

"Is that all?" Elissa asked, signaling that the conversation about Duncan's journal was over.

"Ummm, no. I wanted to ask...well, if I could come back. Be a Grey Warden again. I have so much to make up for. I need to try to make it right." A look of profound longing and hope crossed Alistair's face as Alistair's eyes begged Elissa to allow him to rejoin the wardens. "You see, I've spent the last three years coming to grips with my failure and I feel that the only way for me to atone is by..." Alistair rambled on and on, trying to convince Elissa to allow him to stay.

Elissa watched Alistair impassively while he made his case. When he was finished, she stared off into the distance for a minute, gathering her thoughts. After what seemed like several hours, but was only a few minutes, Elissa closed her eyes, sighed, and looked back at Alistair.

"At the landsmeet I was forced to conscript a man I hated, in order to fulfill my sworn duty to end the blight. As much as it pained me, I followed the Grey Warden oath to do whatever is necessary to end the blight. You, on the other hand, abandoned your duties as a Grey Warden, abandoned the group who had fought by your side and left us to face the archdemon alone."

Elissa paused, to regain control over her emotions, then continued as coldly and vindictively as she could.

"During that final battle Loghain died killing the archdemon. Zevran died. Dog died. Riordan died. Wynne died. Had you been there perhaps they would still be alive today."

Alistair visibly recoiled. Her words stung him to his core, ripping out what remained of his heart.

"Instead of returning to your sworn duties and helping those remaining to rebuild the wardens, you spent your time doing Maker-knows-what. Now, three years later you decide to grace us with your presence, showing up with stolen Grey Warden property, and have the audacity to ask to be welcomed back into the Order which you so easily abandoned and betrayed. Does that about sum it up?"

"Yes" was all that Alistair could whisper in response.

Staring at Alistair with absolute loathing, Elissa continued. "With Loghain I was forced to allow him to be a Grey Warden, even though it cheapened our ranks to do so." Elissa looked away from Alistair, unable to contain the anger and hurt in her eyes. "As with Loghain, so with you. You may rejoin the wardens."

Alistair looked up from his feet, his eyes wide and surprise on his face. Elissa slowly turned her head to look back into his eyes. Alistair looked at her face, searching for forgiveness, but found none.

"However, let me make this clear. The Grey Wardens do not suffer insubordination. We do not permit betrayal. Once permitted back into our ranks, you will not be permitted to abandon us again. You so much as step one foot out of line and I will personally gut you, impale your pitiful head on a pike and display it in the courtyard." Elissa spoke with a hatred and callousness which Alistair was unaware she was capable of.

Elissa leaned forward and spoke the last words one at a time, emphasizing their importance. "Are. We. Clear?"

"Yes Commander."

Elissa stood, walked over and opened the door to her office. "Matthew, please take Alistair here down to the barracks. He is rejoining the Grey Wardens. Have Nate put him to work where ever Nate sees fit."

"Yes commander." Matthew replied. "Come on," Matthew motioned for Alistair to follow him. Alistair stood to leave the room.

"Thank you." Alistair whispered to Elissa, while reaching to hold her hand.

Elissa ripped her hand away and angrily walked back to her desk, ignoring Alistair's attempt to thank her.

Alistair sighed, and followed Matthew. He knew this was not going to be easy. Elissa seemed to hate him and he knew the other wardens were unlikely to welcome him with open arms. I will do whatever it takes to make this right, Alistair thought. And I will get Elissa to fall in love with me again. Somehow...

A/N: If someone wants to take this one shot and turn it into a longer story, please go ahead!