A/N: If you weren't prepared for crack, you shouldn't have come here. Okay, okay, I'M SORRY! I LOVE HIM WITH LEVI TOO! But, I couldn't resist. So, yeah, Gazille.

As for spelling, yeah, I know it's supposed to be "Gajeel," but it's too late to teach an old dog like me new tricks. Maybe if they'd translated it right from the beginning… (angry grumbling)

Thanks to RoRo, my beta. How dare you abandon me for a lame-o Georgetown open house? You better do the math homework because I'm going to need to copy that later…

Disclaimer: I own all of the muffin buttons. That's right. They're all mine. Not Ghost Nappa's, BUT MINE.

Soundtrack: The Bitch Song by Bowling for Soup

Mrs. Lucy—Wait, WHAT?

Chapter 3

Mrs. Gazille Redfox

You're a bitch, but I love you anyway,
Oh, you can't sing, but you still put me to sleep,
Baby, you're a bitch,
Hey hey
Hey hey
You make me sick, but don't ever go away.

So… you and Natsu? Pretty cute together. Cana said gleefully.

How long is this going to go on for? Lucy asked miserably. She'd promised herself that her heart wouldn't be swayed by a game like this, but already she'd never be able to think of Natsu the same way again. Just remembering the way he felt when he pressed up against her, the searing gazes he threw her way, and the way he could be so very sweet he was when he wasn't teasing her…it was life changing. After all this was over, she was sure she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye for a week.

Lucy felt something beneath her shift. Oh, great, another husband. She thought bitterly. This whole situation was truly beyond embarrassing.

It won't stop until we've gone through all of your potential matches. Which is to say, the entire stack of cards. Cana explained once more to the stellar spirit mage.

Oh, no...

Hey, stop whining and be grateful. This will really save you a lot of trouble in the future. You get to figure out who would make the best husband without actually having to marry anybody. Cana sent Lucy a mental glare. Of all the ungrateful brats, Lucy disgusted her the most.

So, who are you married to today? Mirajane asked, giggling madly.

Why are you more excited than me? Lucy asked, sweat dropping.

When there was no response, she opened her eyes. She was on a large king-sized bed in a spacious room she'd never seen before. Her own personal style was obvious in her surroundings: half-written novels lay helter-skelter, a basket of folded laundry sat in the corner, and her keys were sprawled on the bedside table. However, her presence was obviously not the dominant force in the room. Male clothing littered the floor; bits of metal were strewn all over the place along with various nails, screws, and a rather large map that was sprouting several impressive daggers. Even more obvious than the blatant signs of male presence in the room was the actual male presence that Lucy herself was laying upon. That's right: she was on top of him.

A large hand rose and stroked her hair. "Hey, little bunny girl."

No, way.

Yes way. Congratulations. At the age of twenty-four, you wed him after dating for two years. You've been married for eleven months now. Cana explained.

B-bu-but... Gazille? This can't be happening.

It's not. Cana reminded her.

Do you have a thing for dragon slayers? Mirajane asked coyly.

"'Morning." Lucy muttered back to her husband miserably.

"What's wrong?" Gazille asked gruffly, instantly upset at her small rejection. Lucy normally didn't act so indifferent to his gentle teasing. She wasn't a morning person, but he knew his wife. There were three things that could cheer her up in any situation: a good book, financial security, and calling her by the pet name he'd given her. It always seemed to rile her up when he called her a little bunny girl. And when he said 'riled up' he meant it in a very good way. Gazille loved Lucy the most when she was affectionate and aggressive.

Lucy, for her part, was ignorant of Gazille's musings. "I feel a little sick." She lied vaguely, not bothering to spare her husband-for-the-day a glance. Her mind was about five miles behind her, something that seemed to be happening to her a lot since this little fortune telling session had begun. Suddenly, a disturbing thought popped into Lucy's head. What about Levi-chan? Lucy thought desperately, feeling like a backstabbing bitch and not at all concerned by her husband's current turbulent emotions.

I guess you stole him. Way to be a hussy.

Feeling miserable, Lucy tuned out her thoughts and looked back down at her husband. Gazille was wearing his typical white sweats and nothing else. His chest was as sculpted as Natsu's but it just seemed... harder. Natsu was, by comparison, much more cuddly. Both men were big and strong, but Gazille was closed, hard, and mysterious, too. Yet, with his arms wrapped around her as his large hand stroked her hair gently, she couldn't help but feel safe.

With a start, Lucy finally realized the implications of her position atop him as her brain finally reunited with her body after what felt like hours of chasing itself around in circles. This morning she was wearing a tight t-shirt and short shorts, as far as pajamas went. Blushing up a storm, she rolled off of Gazille and into a cocoon of blankets on the other side of the bed. Gazille's barking laugh crashed over her. "You're going to have to get up sometime, little bunny girl."

Lucy flinched. Her mind couldn't quite keep up. Her… with Gazille? Isn't he, like, old? "I'm going back to sleep." She muttered.

Gazille rolled his eyes and sat up to look at his wife's back. "Is that code for 'I want sexy time?'" He asked.

What was that, some sick inside joke? "No." She growled.

"Touchy, touchy." Gazille laughed that unearthly laugh of his once more before slipping out of the bed and disappearing from Lucy's view.

What a morning person, laughing that much. How did this happen to me, anyway? She thought miserably.

I think he's kind of cute. He obviously cares about you. Mirajane replied cheerily.

You know, we are talking about the man that once pinned me to a wall and threw daggers at me for a few hours just for the hell of it. Lucy reminded her bitterly. She hadn't exactly forgotten that. She had no trouble imagining the iron dragon slayer with Levi, who was a much more forgiving and open person than her, but as far as Lucy was concerned, she wasn't ready to forgive Gazille for hurting both her and Fairy Tail.

You obviously got over it, considering the 'sexy time.' Cana said. She was enjoying this too much, in Lucy's opinion.

Lucy huffed, not wanting to dignify that thought with a response. Instead, she sat up and peered about, making sure the coast was clear. Yup, no Gazille in sight. Where did he go? After a millisecond of consideration, she decided she didn't know, and she didn't want to know (or, rather, she didn't want to want to know). She was past being openly terrified of the man she was inexplicably married to, but she wasn't comfortable around him and she had yet to feel any warmth for him other than cooing over his adorable flirtations with Levi. Mentally shoving aside the budding couple she'd allegedly ripped apart, Lucy began to warily eye her surroundings, starting with the maps on the wall, as they were currently far less confusing than her future taste in guys.

Obviously Gazille's dagger-throwing days weren't over, if the map was any hint. There were at least two dozen knives scattered across the world map and lodged in the wall. Lines in various colors were drawn between them. Notes were scribbled here and there. Below one knife were the words "Fairy Tail," and below another Lucy could make out the phrase "Black dragon" inscribed with several exclamation marks.

"Black dragon?" Lucy read aloud, wondering what that was about. Of course she knew Gazille had been raised by a dragon, just like Natsu, but she hadn't realized he was still looking for his adopted parent. That must be what the map was about. Was he still looking for Metalicana, after all these years? For a moment, the thought of it seemed endearing, but then she realized there couldn't possibly be anything warm and fuzzy about Gazille. After a moment she shrugged and moved to the window which was shrouded in dark red curtains. She pulled them back to reveal a beautiful view of Magnolia from a neighboring mountain. Was this Gazille's house? Or had they bought it after the wedding?

Either way, Lucy found that she really liked it. The ceilings were high and she was oddly reminded of her childhood home when it had been filled with love: when her mother had still been alive. The bright morning sun burst in through the curtains, momentarily blinding Lucy and taking her back ten years to her mother's arms, where she sat curled up on the window bench and had children's stories read aloud to her. Lucy blinked in surprise and shook the feeling off. She turned her back to the window and saw the room in the light for the first time.

Beneath the scrap metal and laundry, there were papers scattered everywhere. Some had been through Lucy's tired old type writer. A few were crumpled. Most had been written upon in long hand. She was about to pick one up and read it, to see if her skills as a novelist had improved in this reality, but was interrupted when Gazille entered the room again with a glass of orange juice.

"Here you go." He said, holding out the glass to Lucy. He didn't make a move to get any closer to Lucy than necessary. Something was… off about her today. He could sense her discomfort and he didn't want to spook her. He didn't want to relive what it had been like when he'd first asked her out. He had had to plead with her for a solid hour to give him a chance all those years ago. They'd come a long way from then, obviously, but Gazille hated to remember the Lucy from back then—the Lucy that didn't love him. As it was, he still feared she'd wake up one morning and realize Natsu, Loki, or even Gray would have been much better choices. They were leading men, and Gazille couldn't help feeling lucky when he remembered he'd claimed the prize that was Lucy before they could.

Gazille wasn't insecure, exactly, but he recognized when he was at a disadvantage. Lucy hadn't been with Fairy Tail for long before he'd joined, but something about her relationship with Natsu made it seem like she'd been by his side her whole life. Their history was brief, but it was also intimidating. Which was why, when he realized that he wanted to wake up to the cosplay-freak from Fairy Tail everyday from that moment on, he'd been, for the first time in his life, nervous. He had no doubt he could defeat Natsu in absolutely anything, be it a fight or a drinking contest or what have you, but Lucy was an unforeseen variable and even if he could bypass the Salamander, it was her prejudice against him that he had really needed to destroy.

"What for?" Lucy asked, breaking Gazille from his thoughts as she eyed the glass of orange juice in his outstretched hand, with trepidation. Maybe it's poisoned. She thought. Date rape drugs, perhaps, so he can have his way with me.

You're already married; he's not going to drug and rape you! Mirajane snapped, not liking the idea of Lucy distrusting her husband, no matter who it was. Mirajane, after all, always gave people the benefit of the doubt, a temperament that Lucy-the-conspiracy-theorist did not share.

Calm down already, Lucy. You weren't nearly this hesitant with Natsu. Cana instructed calmly.

That's different. I'm much more used to Natsu being goofy than to Gazille being all… talking about 'sexy time' and bringing me beverages! Lucy cried. This was just too much.

Lucy, it's going to be OKAY. Calm down. This is just a simulation. You need to remember that. Cana reminded her, feeling very much like she was talking a suicide risk off of the ledge.

Yeah! Mirajane agreed. Have faith in yourself, too. You wouldn't have married him if you didn't love and trust him, right?

Lucy was calmed by that thought. The cards had chosen Gazille, so on some deep, yet-to-be-discovered level; they were allegedly compatible with one another. And Lucy also knew her heart. A few years wouldn't change her beyond recognition. She knew she wouldn't marry for anything but love and she wouldn't love without unconditional trust. The only explanation was that Gazille had undergone some amazing character transformation that had made her fall in love with him and now she was seeing the new Gazille for the first time, or she'd been placed under some sort of love spell (the latter, Lucy knew, was highly unlikely—such spells were nonexistent). He wasn't the same man who'd thrown daggers at her. She had to believe that, or this wasn't going to go anywhere.

She'd been awake for almost ten minutes and other than suggesting 'sexy time,' Gazille hadn't done anything untoward to her. So Lucy promised herself that, for now, she'd go with the flow and for today, she'd play wife to Gazille's 'husband' character. And, she promised herself further, she'd take the same approach with her future husbands. Everybody deserved a chance to worship her amazing sex appeal, right?

"You said you were feeling sick." Gazille answered. "So I got you orange juice to make you feel better. Or is it your stomach? We have ginger ale…"

Lucy blinked in surprise. Gazille wasn't the kind of husband she'd imagined him to be. She'd never thought about it much, but when she had, she'd thought of Gazille being married to Levi and pictured them bickering like cute old people. He'd sometimes get out of line and she'd have to bonk him on the head with a book to put him back in his place and it'd be all cute and romantic and they'd laugh and talk and she'd teach him to be a proper gentleman. This was not that vision.

Sighting, Lucy cast her gaze once more about the room. There were three books on the nightstand on her side of the bed and two on Gazille's. There were four at the end of the kitchen table which she could see through an open door beyond her hulking husband. The rest were aligned in the large bookcases against the wall of their bedroom. None of them showed signs of being used to beat Gazille over the head. And, far from the cute, fluffy, romantic atmosphere she'd always imagined Levi and Gazille would possess, the house she was in now felt lived in, loved, and comfortable. This wasn't a place for awkward teenagers to send each other loaded glances and resolve dramatic turns in their lives or where overzealous lovers came to reproduce like bunnies. This was where two married adults came after a hard day's mission to relax in each other's company and just be in love.

Despite her still lingering dislike for Gazille, Lucy found herself enjoying the set up. Surely this mountain ranch was just what she needed after another exciting, crazy day at the guild. So she took the orange juice. "Thank you." Lucy muttered, never having said those particular words to the iron dragon slayer before. She allowed herself one last cautious sniff of the bright orange liquid before she deemed it safe and took a sip.

Gazille's lips turned up, halfway to a smile, and he leaned forward to his wife to kiss her forehead. Through sheer willpower, Lucy managed not to flinch away. Gazille, however, noticed her awkwardness (they'd been together for three years after all), so he decided not to push her and returned to the kitchen to find some screws to eat. Lucy followed.

The kitchen was homey, painted a bright terracotta color. Everything looked shiny and Lucy wondered briefly how they could afford the place. Then she concluded that Gazille was probably an S-class mage by now and capable of raking in some serious money. Perhaps even her skills had improved to the point where she was a fellow breadwinner. The granite countertops were sparkly clean with more books in one corner and a bowl of fresh fruit placed on top.

Through a different doorway she saw a living room with a large couch, two very comfy looking recliners with books on the arm rests, a coffee table with two more books and a magazine on it, and yet another book case upon which rested a few framed photographs. This was Lucy's ideal world: one filled with books. And, in keeping with her taste, they were all first editions and excellent novels. Considering the stacks, she wondered if Gazille read. She couldn't quite picture the wild man sitting down and relaxing in the company of a good book.

Still curious about the rest of the house, she wandered into the living room while Gazille rummaged through the cabinets for some scrap metal. There were papers scattered on the floor in this room as well, but not nearly as many as in the bedroom and here, the majority were crumpled. Lucy observed the unwrinkled ones and realized with a start that these were not the drafted novels of the bedroom but song lyrics. It was then that she spotted Gazille's old guitar resting in the corner. So he was still writing songs…? The hopeless romantic cliché-loving little girl inside of Lucy squealed with joy. She scooped up a page and began to read. The lyrics were better than she thought they'd be, but she knew Gazille's singing voice wasn't really right for the upbeat melody. Maybe he sold them to famous bands…?

Taking another sip of her orange juice and noting there was still no edge to it that hinted at hidden drugs, she turned to a copy of Weekly Sorcerer that lay haphazardly on the seat of one of the recliners. Of the two, that particular chair must belong to her, she concluded. After all, Gazille wouldn't sit in a chair that had a fluffy pink blanket thrown over the back. It could only be hers.

Briefly, an image of Gazille wrapped up in a fluffy pink blanket on the recliner, reading a book and wearing reading glasses flitted through her mind, almost causing her to spit her orange juice out. Cana and Mirajane, however, having no such obstacles to their amusement, laughed to their heart's content. Trying to compose herself, Lucy leaned closer to read the cover of the magazine. The words practically jumped out at her: Fairy Tail's Calling Card Engaged! was printed above a magnificent picture of Mirajane wrapped in the arms of none other than Fried.

Mirajane's laughter caught in her throat. Cana's amusement tripled. She was ruined for the rest of her life: after this, nothing would ever be able to make her laugh so much again. Lucy felt that this was entirely justified, and certainly some form of karmic vengeance.

Now do you understand why I'm not enjoying this? She asked Mirajane.

Mirajane was quiet for a minute or so. At least Fried never tied me to a wall and practiced his knife-throwing skills on me. She countered.

Touché…

Besides, Fried's a good guy. I'm sure we'll make a lovely couple. Mirajane mused, neglecting to mention that she and Fried were already a tentative item in their own reality. Cana and Lucy didn't need to know that yet. If word got around… well, she didn't exactly want Elfman to bite another one of her boyfriends… Rabies tended to put a wrench in her relationships.

Lucy actually smacked her forehead. She didn't understand how Mirajane could be so nonchalant when she herself should have been prepared by the hundreds of romance novels she'd read…yet she couldn't even make it through a kiss on the forehead without freaking out.

It's because you're a prude.

Shut up!

Lucy was preparing to launch into a verbal tirade against the older girl in her head when a door down a hall from the living room opened. At first, Lucy did not see anything but then she glanced down and saw that the little cat Pantherlily was exiting the room. He looked grumpy, as if he was clearly not a morning person. Without looking at Lucy, he walked across the hall, opened another door, and disappeared inside. Lucy guessed it was a bathroom.

A chair scrapped across ceramic tiles in the kitchen causing Lucy to start a little in surprise. She still wasn't used to the sounds of this unfamiliar house. She turned around and peered through the kitchen doorway at Gazille's back as he aggressively devoured his Knuts & Bolts cereal. He was still shirtless and his muscled rippled with movement beneath his tan skin. Lucy hands itched to explore that skin and see if it was really as smooth as it looked, or as callous as Gazille's personality.

Argh! Bad Lucy! She chided herself in her head, frustrated. A guy like Gazille, who she had feelings neither here nor there for, should not affect her like this. Even for simple lust, these musings were too much.

You're only thinking like that because he already loves you and is treating you as if you love him too. Naturally, you're reacting as if you do belong in this reality, right? Mirajane reasoned.

Lucy thought about it and decided that was a good enough reason for her. She decided she might as well continue her inspection of the living room. She abruptly turned on her heel to face Gazille's recliner that sat beside her own. His looked much more squashy and abused than hers, as if he'd had it longer or spent more time in it. On the left arm rest teetered two precariously balanced books stacked atop one another. The uppermost book had a picture of a dark forest on it. At the top was the title, Precipice, and at the bottom was the author's name: Lucy Redfox.

It took Lucy three solid minutes of staring to realize that in this reality, that was her name.

I WROTE A BOOK?

Lucy could hardly contain her shock and excitement. She was a novelist! She was published! Overjoyed, she scooped up the book and turned it over to read the back cover. It was filled with raving reviews, claimed readers would be glued to their seats until they'd finished, that Lucy Reifox had done it again, that they'd laugh and cry and sooner pee their pants than put the book down for a bathroom break; a suspenseful thriller for the ages; a life-changing novel; readers will be begging for more; inspirational and terrifying.

Sounds like you're pretty good. I didn't know you wrote novels.

I'm still just learning. I guess I've got the hang of it in this reality.

Congratulations on getting published, Lucy! Mirajane squealed, already having known about Lucy's dream of being an author from her almost incoherent blathering at the bar on nights she had writers block and had one too many drinks that didn't suit such a high-class girl.

Thank you, Mira. Lucy couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face. She was ecstatic. Nothing could bring her down.

"What're you doing?" Gazille asked gruffly, leaning over his wife's back, wrapping his arms around her slim waist from behind, his oversized front pressing against her slim back intimately.

Before Lucy could answer, Pantherlily exited the bathroom. He glanced down the hall into the living room, spotted Gazille and Lucy getting lovey-dovey, rolled his eyes, and disappeared back into his bedroom. Lucy wished she could call out to him and demand that he get his furry butt in here and save her from wedded bliss. However, she couldn't. She figured it might tip her husband off to the fact that she wasn't actually his wife. That could be bad. He was, after all, quite dangerous when he wanted to be, and Lucy didn't really want to relive the dagger throwing fun from her first encounter with Gazille.

"Reading my reviews," Lucy answered normally, even managing to sound quite cheeky in the process. Even with six feet of dragon slayer behind her, her head was too inflated from positive feedback to be truly terrified.

Gazille smirked. He removed one of his arms from around his wife to snatch the book from her hand. When Lucy moved to grab it back, his other hand grabbed her wrist. He then proceeded to turn her and himself around and sit down in his recliner, pulling Lucy into his lap. Suddenly, Lucy realized that this was a regular occurrence and that was why Gazille's chair was the more battered: it normally sat two people. "I should have known. Don't get such a big head about it; you've still got a lot of room for improvement." He said.

Lucy was about to struggle to escape his lap but she was stopped by his words. She leaned towards her husband eagerly, curious to learn more. "Which parts?" She asked. "What are your critiques?"

Gazille smiled. Finally. This was the Lucy he knew: always eager to learn, filled with her literary fighting spirit. The concentrated look on her face always seemed to stir something in him. He flipped the book open and began to point out what he thought could be approved upon. Lucy eagerly devoured his advice despite her slight confusion (she had no idea what the book was actually about—it seemed to be an adventure suspense thriller horror novel with a ten percent chance of romance in about three different directions. Lucy was awed into silence by her future prowess. She could not wait to grow up).

I am such a cool adult.

Keep telling yourself that.

Gazille went on and on, critiquing and also reading aloud his favorite bits. Lucy, who'd moved to a precarious position half in his lap and half on the arm rest, grew tired of the arrangement after so long and surrendered herself to her husband's lap. Wordlessly, Gazille wrapped an arm around her waist and Lucy, finding it hard to resist and reasoning that this opportunity would never present itself again, began to trace the muscles there.

Lucy would occasionally grab the book out of his hands to read silently to herself, trying to memorize the words on the page so she could recreate them when this was all over. The third time she did this, she became so engrossed in the novel that only Gazille's lips at the nape of her neck could startle her out of the gripping plot points. She practically jumped out of her skin and only Gazille's arm, still wrapped around her, actually kept her from leaping clean out of her seat. The goose bumps blooming across her skin and the little hairs at the back of her neck standing up were not lost on Gazille. He pressed his nose into her neck and decided he had nothing to lose in telling her something he normally didn't like to say but felt like she might have forgotten today: "I love you, little bunny girl."

Aw, that's so sweet!

I don't get what's sweet about it.

Well, think about it. Is Gazille the kind of guy who goes around professing his love?

Err… I don't know.

Well, he's not. Yet, here he is. And why? Because he wants Lucy to relax.

Lucy tried to breath but it was difficult in the lap of the imposing mage. Her voice shaking, she tried to say what she thought she should, had this actually been her husband. "I know. I'm just a little out of sorts today."

She moved to get up, out of the position that had gone from comfortable to awkward in the past five seconds. Instantly, Gazille's arm that was still wrapped around her tightened, preventing her from leaving him without his say so. Gazille was not one for blind faith, unlike the sentimental "fairies" he was now aligned with, and Lucy, whom he trusted more than anyone, was acting suspicious today. He pulled her closed to him, he lips hovering at her ear. "Don't leave me, okay?" He whispered.

Awwww!

What a dork.

Lucy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, leaning into her husband to give him some comfort. "I wouldn't dream of it."

They stayed like that for a long time, Lucy's heart hammering out a steady drum beat the whole time, until her stomach growled violently and they retired to the kitchen for some much needed sustenance. It was, by this point, already one in the afternoon and Lucy was famished. She decided to have toast. Gazille ate the toaster. Just as they were finishing their meal, Lucy decided it was her now or never chance to ask Gazille something that had been bugging her all day. "Whatever happened to you and Levi-chan?"

Gazille chewed on Lucy's butter knife as he thought over his answer, looking right into her eyes. "Why are you bringing that old story up again? We've been over this before. Levi is like Pantherlily: fun to play with, not to eat." His face broke into a devilish grin.

Lucy balked at the innuendo.

Er… Lucy, don't take this the wrong way but your husband is a bit… crude.

Hahahahaha!

"LUCY!" A loud and extremely recognizable voice rang throughout the house. Lucy immediately turned towards the kitchen's window and, sure enough, Natsu was climbing through it.

Gazille growled under his breath. Natsu didn't even glance at him. The bubble around Lucy and Gazille instantly burst and the romantic atmosphere dissipated.

"Lucy! Come on! You're late and Erza is going to kill us if we're not back at the guild in five minutes." Natsu cried.

Lucy paused for a few moments simply to gaze upon the glory that was a twenty-four year old version of Natsu. He'd grown into a heartthrob. He was chiseled instead of just muscled now. His face was more weathered, as if it had seen many missions, and the look perpetuated his current mature appearance. His outfit was the same as what he wore in her reality, but it just looked… better, somehow. She suddenly regretted being so sheepish during the day she'd been married to him. She felt an almost primitive desire to once again explore the possibility of being married to the fire dragon slayer.

Damn. Cana thought. She had to agree. Natsu had grown well. If you don't want him, Lucy, I wouldn't mind taking him off your hands.

Cana! Mirajane chastised. Have some shame! You don't even like Natsu, you just like his body!

Well, have you seen it? Cana asked, once again appraising the Salamander through Lucy's eyes. She would have never believed such a transformation possible had she not seen it herself. Natsu wasn't her type in any way, but she knew a nice body when she saw one.

"Did you forget we have a mission today, Lucy?" Happy asked, flying through the window and landing on the kitchen table while Natsu went into her and Gazille's bedroom without permission and began rifling around.

"Don't just break into other people's houses, you bastard!" Gazille yelled, storming after Natsu into the bedroom.

"Whatever." Natsu grunted and continued rifling around.

"What are you even looking for, dumbass?" Gazille asked, smacking the pink haired idiot on the back of his head.

Without looking, Natsu punched Gazille in the face, causing the iron dragon slayer to stumble backwards. "For Lucy's keys, obviously. We have to leave."

Gazille merely wiped his chin and then kicked Natsu in the stomach, sending him flying into the bureau, causing the items on top of it to tumble onto his head, including Lucy's ring of keys. Natsu picked them off of his head and grinned. "Found them! Thanks, Gazille!"

Gazille smacked himself in the forehead and returned to the kitchen. Natsu calmly strolled out after him. "Here you go, Luce!" Natsu said, tossing the keys at Lucy. Lucy caught them and noticed there were quite a few more than she had in her reality. How many gold keys was that? Eight… nine… ten… she had all twelve!

Yes! Woohoo!

"I told you not to call her that!" Gazille roared, swinging again at Natsu who ducked this time.

Natsu stuck out his tongue. "Back off." He then refocused his green-eyed gaze on Lucy, grabbed her hand, and hoisted her out of her chair. "Let's go, Luce. We don't want to piss off Erza again, right?" He asked, grinning cheekily.

He then began to pull her along, out the kitchen window. "Can't you at least use the door, Natsu?" Lucy asked, exasperated, and proceeded to follow him until Gazille caught her by her other wrist.

She turned to look at him as Natsu paused to see what the holdup was. "Be careful, Lucy." Gazille said, and pulled her into him. Lucy knew what was going to happen before it actually did, but that still didn't prepare her. Gazille's lips on her own felt strange. They were powerful and unyielding as they attacked her mouth. She didn't have time to close her eyes and as Gazille made a show of kissing her and she noticed his eyes were open as well, glaring over her shoulder at Natsu.

When Gazille finally released her and she turned around to face Natsu again, Natsu's face had turned to stone. Happy looked just as confused as Lucy was by the sudden change. She decided she didn't want to know. Her conspiracy theories were leading her mind down a dangerous path it didn't want to go down. There was no way Gazille had just kissed her as a show of dominance and even if he had, there was no way in hell Natsu was jealous. It couldn't be.

Maybe Lucy could accept the fact that, maybe, just maybe, she and Natsu were sort of compatible, but in this reality, where she was someone else's wife, it was impossible to think he was interested in her. They weren't that compatible.

You two were definitely meant to be together.

Lucy, I had no idea you were so popular!

I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't a romance novel; something like that would never happen. I'm just making things up on my own. Lucy reasoned as she climbed out the window, waved one last time at her husband, and followed Natsu and Happy to Fairy Tail.

The guild, Lucy noticed when they arrived, had been rebuilt once again. She could only assume it had probably been destroyed in yet another epic battle. There was also some commotion inside; Lucy could hear the yelling from a block away. Outside of the guild stood a rather grumpy looking Erza and, surprisingly, she did not have her usual wagon load of luggage.

"Erza! What's going on?" Lucy called out to the redhead.

"Change of plans." Erza said, looking like there was no crime more vile than interrupting her schedule. "Our mission has been cancelled. We're needed here at the guild today."

"What for?" Natsu whined.

Erza didn't need to answer because, an instant later, Mirajane burst through the guild doors in a white strapless wedding gown. "Lucy! Thank god you're here! I need you!"

Is this my wedding? Yay!

I wonder how long you and Fried have been dating for?

"Err… What?" Lucy hardly had time to ask before Mirajane had seized her hands and pulled her into the guild.

The tables were gone and the benches had been lined up like pews. The whole place was packed with raucous Fairy Tail mages, drinking and chatting and fighting. Lucy wasn't quite sure, but as they passed the bathrooms on the way to the bar Mirajane was dragging her to, she could have sworn she saw Luxus giving Fried a pep talk. Both of them were wearing tuxedos.

Luxus is back?

He's probably the new guild master.

But the master kicked him out!

Well, it's been a long time since that happened in this reality. The master is a big fan of forgive and forget.

Cana was at the bar wearing a champagne colored gown and drinking beer straight from the barrel.

Mmmm… beer….

Without a word, Mirajane ducked under the bar, still dragging Lucy behind her and entered into a back room that was a great improvement on the one in Lucy's reality. "Here, put this on, you're a bridesmaid." Mirajane said, frantically shoving a dress that matched Cana's into Lucy's arms.

"You're telling me this now?" Lucy asked, not sure if she was supposed to be surprised or not.

"Well, when I woke up this morning, I realized that I just wanted to be married to Fried already, so screw planning. You and Gazille were only engaged for a week before you guys got married so why not me? I'm tired of being a fiancée. I just want to be a bride!" Mirajane said this all very fast and Lucy couldn't tell if she was excited or had just had twenty cups of coffee for breakfast.

"Err… well, okay then. You look great, by the way." Lucy said, beginning to strip off the pajamas Natsu hadn't given her a chance to change out of and pull on the dress.

"Thanks!" Mirajane said, practically leaping for joy. Granted, it wasn't much of a leap due to the shoes she was wearing, but seeing as she wasn't sure if the stiletto heels would break or not…

As soon as Lucy was done changing, she was shoved back out into the open guild and made to walk down the aisle with Luxus. They followed after Lisanna with Elfman, and Cana with Bixlow. Erza, who'd ex-quipped into the bridesmaid dress, walked last with Gray who'd somehow made it into Fried's circle of friends. At the front, Lucy noticed Cana had stashed a beer bottle in her bouquet and kept sneaking drinks from it without any regard for discretion.

Fried kept fidgeting while they waited for Mirajane. Lucy couldn't blame him. He was about to marry Mirajane. If he screwed this up, he'd be dead in a minute. After all, Mirajane was a fan favorite in both the guild and the world at large. And, even if he didn't mess up their marriage, he still was about to be married to the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

As Lucy waited for the music that would announce Mirajane's entrance, she scanned the crowd. A rather grumpy Gazille was sitting in the back, his wild mane of hair easy to spot in the sea of people. Beside him was stood an ecstatic Juvia who appeared to be the one who'd dragged him to the wedding. Gazille was brooding about his predicament while Juvia completely ignored him in favor of watching her lovely Gray-sama who was standing at the front with the other groomsmen and currently taking off his dress shirt. Luxus noticed the stripping and swiftly electrocuted the ice mage for his insolence before hissing in his ear that he better put his clothes back on right that instant or so help him god he would take him out back and beat him to a bloody pulp for ruining his best friend's wedding day with his strange habits.

Needless to say, Gray's face drained of color as he hastily pulled his clothes back on. Satisfied, Luxus turned away. That turned out to be a mistake because a minute later, Gray was naked aside from his boxers once again. Lucy stifled a giggle and looked back out at the guild. Natsu's pink hair immediately jumped out at her in the crowd. Beside him was Happy. The two of them kept ducking their heads down to sneak bites of contraband food greedily. Despite their sneakiness, it was obvious to everybody present that it was Natsu eating because the chicken leg he was currently devouring was on fire.

Next to Happy sat a grown up Wendy with Charle in her lap. Charle kept looking at Happy in disgust. Wendy was indifferent to their behavior as she waited patiently for Mirajane's entrance.

Watching Natsu, Lucy was suddenly reminded of the strange kiss she'd shared with Gazille earlier. Had Natsu really been… jealous of Gazille? It was almost unthinkable at first, but the heartbroken look in his eyes when she'd broken away from her husband and turned to face him after the kiss aggravated her to no end. She hated to see Natsu, her nakama and best friend, in any kind of pain. For some reason, despite the fact that he wasn't in any actual physical pain at that time, he had still looked like the wind had been knocked out of him. He liked her. There was no other explanation. He liked her and he wanted her and even though he knew she was somebody else's wife, forever unattainable and out of his reach, he still loved her.

And Gazille knew it, too. Lucy was probably the only one in the dark about it until now. Natsu had called her "Luce" and in retaliation Gazille blatantly made out with her in front of him. She was caught in the middle of some male pissing contest for her heart. She doubted either cared that she'd already made her choice and married Gazille, whether she was aware of other options or not. So long as Natsu was interested, Gazille would fight him by displaying his dominance over her. To Lucy it all seemed dirty and wrong and downright disgusting. Natsu should recognize that she was happily married (she thought she was, anyway), and Gazille should be a little more sensitive to Natsu's feelings and end this once and for all by telling him to buzz off because Lucy was his woman (Lucy wasn't interested in either romantically, but if she happened to be in the future, she wanted it to be a drama-free relationship).

Finally, the wedding music began to play and as Mirajane stepped out wearing that gorgeous gown and carrying a lovely bouquet with the little old guild master happily hanging from her arm, Lucy succumbed to tears of joy. Mirajane had never looked happier than she did in that moment. Her radiance was blinding as she actually glowed.

Why are you crying?

They're just so beautiful! Their love is just so pure! Lucy bawled with a huge sob.

Thank you! Mirajane was happy Lucy was being so supportive.

The corporeal Mirajane cried silent tears as she stood across from Fried, who also shed a few tears. Lisanna was sobbing. Several male admirers in the crowd cried to their hearts content. And yet, all the crying people combined couldn't hold a candle to Elfman who was loudly bawling beside the happy couple as he occasionally beat Fried on the back while insisting through his tears him that a real man shouldn't cry.

After the ceremony, the benches were cleared away and the reception began. Lucy lost herself in the commotion. She danced with everybody that asked. She danced with Luxus, with Gray, with Natsu, with Bixlow and Makarov and Jet and Elfman and, finally, she found Gazille in the crowd and they met on the dance floor.

"That was kind of a dick move with Natsu this morning!" Lucy yelled to be heard over the music at her husband, having accepted by now that he had only kissed her to get a rise out of Natsu.

Gazille smirked and leaned in to kiss her briefly on the lips. "What can I say? I'm territorial." He growled back and Lucy could tell he'd had a few celebratory drinks with the rest of the guild.

Lucy raised an eyebrow but was caught off guard when he put one of his hands on her waist and placed the other in hers and began to twirl her around the dance floor. He was a surprisingly good dancer. As she watched his steps, she realized where she'd seen them before: from her dance instructor when she'd learned ballroom dancing as a little girl. She must have taught him.

I guess he's not so bad. Lucy amended.

Fried and I look pretty good together…

You're twelve hours are up, so we're off.

Lucy sighed. Gazille eyed her curiously. Lucy smiled at his confused expression. She leaned into him and gave him a chaste kiss goodbye, her silent thank you for a shockingly enjoyable day, before she fell into a new bed with a new husband.

-End Chapter-

A/N: So, you all thought it was going to be Gray, huh? Sorry, even though Natsu was first, this is not going to be going in order of canon-ness. Next chapter is already planned out so the update shouldn't take so long. Have a good day everybody. For news on when it will be updated, and the growing list of furute husbands, check out my profile.

Pretty please review.