Finn has found himself in many an awkward situation in his lifetime, but this has to take the cake. What with Blaine drunkenly singing Lady Gaga while sprawled out in the back seat, Kurt sulking next to him, and Finn trying not to burst out laughing because of the insanity of it all...yeah, this definitely made it into the top ten most awkward moments ever. It didn't help matters that Blaine had spent the entire night making out with Finn's ex-girlfriend who he still kind of had feelings for. Oh yeah, to top it all off, Blaine was supposedly gay, and Finn's step-brother was madly in love with him. Awkward didn't even seem like an appropriate word anymore.
"I w-want your love an-nd I want y-our re-revenge, you and m-m-me could wr-write a b-b-bad rom-mance! Oooooohh!" Blaine stutters, laughing at everything and nothing in his stupor. "Kurt...Kurt...guess what? Guess what...guess what, Kurt?" Blaine sits up, tapping Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt! Guess what?"
Kurt turns around to look at his friend, though he doesn't seem particularly pleased about it.
"B-bad Romance. Get it l-like me? L-like when har-ry met S-s-sally?" Kurt blushes as Finn chokes, because Finn somehow knows that they totally get it on in that movie. "S-say something, Kurtsie-poo! H-have c-c-courage!" Blaine laughs as if this is the funniest thing in the entire world. Kurt however, is displeased that Blaine is making the advice that he'd given Kurt seem like nothing. Blaine then proceeded with his Lady Gaga medley with his drunken rendition of Love Game.
"Kuuurt! Kurtsie! Guess what...guess...Kurt! Gu-guess what? K-Kurt..."
"What! What is it Blaine?" Kurt asks through his teeth. Finn looks over at him, a little concerned. The saying "if looks could kill" runs through his mind, but he doesn't dare voice that thought for fear of risking his life. Kurt staring out the windshield as if Marc Jacobs himself had just told him that he didn't like his belt. Or whatever the hell that thing that went over his shoulder was.
"Kurt...Kurt...I w-w-wanna...I-I wanna t-take a ri-ide on your disco st-stick," Blaine says, and Finn snorts, not being able to help himself, watching his brother turn beet red as Blaine cackles, falling back onto the seat.
Kurt tries to tell himself that Blaine is drunk, and that anything he says has absolutely no meaning whatsoever. That Blaine had just spent the night making his lips act as suction cups on Rachel freaking Berry's face. That Finn is sitting right next to him, and there is no way that he should be having those kinds of thoughts about Blaine right now.
If it was true that people are most honest when they are drunk, then Kurt sighs, thinking that this was the worst possible way Blaine could have ever professed his love- by saying he wants to take a ride on Kurt's disco stick. Kurt shudders at the possibility.
When the three pull into the driveway of the new Hummel-Hudson house, Kurt turns around and looks at Blaine.
"Look, Blaine. You're totally incoherent right now, but I beg of you, just one tiny favor. Just shut up for about five minutes while we get you upstairs. My dad and Carole will have a cow if they see how shit-faced you are, and I really don't want to have to stop hanging out with you." Blaine doesn't seem to register anything, but his eyes are somewhat focused on Kurt's face, so he assumes that the drunken boy heard at least some of what he'd said.
"Kurt...Kurt..st-stop spinning...stay still s-s-so I can lo-ok at y-your pr-pretty eyes," Blaine says, putting a hand on Kurt's cheek in the least romantic way possible. Kurt has a hard time believing that this could get any worse.
"You're gonna have to carry him, Finn," Kurt sighs, because there is no way in hell that Blaine would be able to make it into the house on his own without falling down and breaking at least a bone, and it's even less likely that Kurt would be able to carry him more than two feet without hurting one or both of them.
Finn sighs, but gets out of the car, and reluctantly takes Blaine in a Bridal-style way, and walks into the house. Again- this has probably been the most awkward night of his life. Kurt goes ahead, and turns the key, quietly entering the house, and using his iPhone as a flashlight. Finn makes his way towards the living room couch.
"No, Finn!" Kurt whispered. "Bring him upstairs."
"Where?" Finn asks, his eyebrows furrowing together.
"My room, of course," Kurt replies.
"Don't you think Burt's gonna be pissed if he finds a random dude in your bed?" Finn asks.
"First of all, he's not random- he's Blaine. Second of all, my dad will probably be more pissed if he finds him on the couch than in my room," Kurt says, counting off on his fingers. "And if you don't do what I say...I can always tell your mom that you've been looking at some rather inapp-"
"Okay!Whatever! He'll sleep in your room!"
"That's what I thought."
"You gonna sleep on the floor, or is he?" Kurt coughs, and looks at Blaine, who seems to have passed out in Finn's arms. Good.
"No. He'll sleep with me in my bed," Kurt replies, knowing immediately where Finn's mind is going- the gutter. But can you really blame Finn? Kurt had confessed to being mad for this guy, and God knows Kurt can get a little crazy when it comes to love.
"Jesus, Finn. I'm not gonna rape him!"
"I don't think it's rape if he tells you he 'wants to take a ride on your disco stick'," Finn points out, laughing at his own joke. Kurt scowls.
"You really think you're funny, don't you?"
"Hilarious."
"Just bring him to my room, okay?" Kurt asks, exasperated. He makes his way up the stairs, glancing back a few times to make sure Finn is following.
Finn dumps Blaine on Kurt's bed, and watches as Kurt gingerly tucks him in, making sure he's covered in Kurt's silk sheets.
"You really like him, don't you?" Finn asks, noticing how Kurt's cheeks stained a little pink as he realizes that his step-brother never left the room. He just glances up, and nods. Finn bites his lip before he speaks.
"Well, even though he's a pretty annoying drunk, I approve." Kurt laughs quietly. "And I know it's a pretty bad time, but I don't think I can sleep without that milk anymore, so do you think you can make it for me?"
Kurt's face softens as he smiles at his brother and friend, and nods.
"Sure, Finn. Just let me change, and I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes."
"Awesome," Finn replies, smiling at his brother, and leaves the room to change into his pajamas. Tonight really had been one crazy ride, and warm milk- as girly as it seems, is actually pretty good. Spending time with Kurt would only help with the restoration of Finn's fleeting sanity.
So I can't sleep (DAMN YOU, INSOMNIA!) and this is what came out of my sleep deprivation. Hopefully that made you smile at least once. And really, who can resist some brotherly love from our favorite family?