Once upon a time in a pissant little crappy kingdom in the middle of the mountains, there once lived a penniless drunkard of an aristocrat and his young son. This drunkard, having lost his wife in a bizarre attack involving a contemporary vocalist dragon ravaging the kingdom for the hundred thirty-ninth time, remarried, wedding a rich and rather whorish aristocrat. This aristocrat already had three children, one bastard son with a Bronco, and then two adopted daughters.

Out of all the aristocrat's children, none of them were the kindest. The son was a vile, obese little brat already overtaken by greed from being spoiled at a young age, thinking of himself as practically the king (in fact, he thought himself better than the king). The daughters both had their strong points, being good girls at heart, although the fact that their kingdom had no feminist rights didn't please them, nor did the fact that their mother's son was far more favoured. However, the drunkard's son, as much of a foul-mouthed perverted ruffian he acted, was actually the sweetest of the bunch.

The drunkard and the aristocrat had a fairly happy marriage, although the father was usually too drunk and the mother was usually too sexed-up to realise how much the aristocrat's son mistreated his stepbrother, forcing him to do all the chores and housework and threatening his stepsisters if they didn't help with 'Keeping the poor piece of shit in place'. Thus, the drunkard's son ended up becoming virtually slave of the household.

Considering the lifestyles the two lived, the drunkard and the aristocrat both died, the man of alcoholism and the woman of an STD. Thankfully, the four children were of age and inherited from the deaths. That was, the aristocrat's greedy son took control of the properteh and the money, the girls each got minimal amounts of money and all their mother's clothes and jewels, and then the drunkard's son got jack shit.

So, with jack shit and being forced to act as his step-siblings' slave, the drunkard's son was basically screwed over and shoved between a rock and a hard place, leaving him to do all the crap no one else really wanted to do, he could've asked for anything to get his ass out of his serfdom.

Even something as retarded as a little fairytale magic.