Got It Going On

By TwinEnigma

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto series or characters.

Characters: Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, Mikoto Uchiha

Warnings for chapter: Alternate-Universe, language

Training ground 22 was a mess, peppered with shuriken, kunai, scorch marks and craters. Sakura flipped mid-air, twisting her body around to land on her feet, skidding back a little, and then she sprang forward with a chakra-enhanced fist.

Kakashi evaded expertly, a substitution exploding into splinters and straw when his student's fist impacted it. He flipped through seals for a water-element jutsu, only to be forced to dodge again by a pair of Naruto clones wielding the infamous Rasengan.

Sasuke's sword sliced through the air a mere moment later, the boy smirking as he seemed to have the upper hand.

Kakashi quickly disabused him of that notion by using the boy's silly rope belt to smash him into the ground, only to grunt in approval when the Uchiha's body exploded in a puff of smoke and the real blade pressed against his throat.

"Gotcha, Kakashi," Sasuke said, smiling.

Kakashi smirked. "Is that so? You don't have the bells."

"Our target wasn't the bells," Sasuke replied, looking very much like the cat who caught the biggest mouse in the barn.

At that, Naruto began to chuckle as he got to his feet and held up a very familiar little book. "That's right! We've got a hostage!"

Kakashi frowned. "Put the book down, I haven't finished it yet."

"Say, Naruto, do you think Kakashi-sensei wants to hear the end?" Sakura asked, her voice saccharine-sweet as she plucked the book from her blond teammate's hand.

"Oh, I think I want to know," Sasuke said, grinning ear-to-ear. "Now, surrender and hand over the bells, Kakashi, or its spoiler time."

Kakashi, of course, could have easily disabled them before they got the chance to utter more than a line, but they had been at this for several hours already and there was someone waiting for them at the edge of the training ground. He sighed heavily, pulling the bells off his belt and held them out. "Tch, you kids are getting better at this every time."

Sasuke pulled back his sword, sheathing it as Naruto and Sakura whooped in triumph.

The figure lingering at the edge of the training ground took it as their cue to approach and stepped out of the shadows, revealing Sasuke's mother, Mikoto, with four bento boxes in her arms. She was the only other survivor of the massacre - and at that, just barely, evidenced by the now barely visible scar across her throat.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, absently pulling a few twigs out of his hair and brushing off his shirt in an effort to make himself a little more presentable.

Mikoto smiled sweetly. "I've brought you all lunch."

Naruto bounced over. "Wow, Uchiha-san! You're the best!"

She giggled, handing him the bento wrapped in an orange cloth. "You remember to eat all of it, even the vegetables, young man."

The blond boy pretended to pout, but quickly yanked off the cloth, pulled out the chopsticks and dug in.

"Now, Sakura, Sasuke hasn't been too rough on you, has he?" Mikoto asked, handing a box wrapped in pink to the girl, seemingly oblivious to the snort from said boy.

Sakura smiled mischievously as she accepted it: "No, ma'am."

"Good, good," Mikoto said and approached Kakashi with a bento wrapped in white. He put up his hands to refuse, but then the deceptively tiny woman glared at him, Sharingan activated, and he accepted the box. Instantly, her Sharingan disappeared behind the veneer of domestic civility – it was really easy to forget she was tougher than she looked.

She then approached her son, handing him a box wrapped in blue. "With extra tomatoes, just like you like it, Sasuke," she said, reaching up to ruffle his hair affectionately. "Now, don't you train too hard, you hear?"

"Mom!" Sasuke whined, blushing in embarrassment and gently batting her hand away with the lightest of taps. "The guys are watching!"

Mikoto smiled. "Dinner's at seven. Your team, as always, is welcome to join us."

She then turned, waving as she headed home, and Sasuke collapsed into a sitting position on a log with a heavy sigh. He obviously loved his mother dearly – indeed, his overwhelming devotion to his last surviving sane family member was the only thing that had kept him in Konoha when Orochimaru had tried to lure him away – but it was also clear that sometimes Sasuke was exasperated by his mother's behavior.

"That was really nice of your mother, Sasuke," Sakura said, daintily opening her bento and picking up the chopsticks inside. There was a time she would have taken it as a gesture of approval from the woman, but Sakura had grown up in many ways since becoming a ninja and her crush on Sasuke had dwindled into an almost sisterly type of affection.

Naruto gulped down a rice ball and beamed. "Yeah! Your mom's amazing, Sasuke! And hot, too."

Sasuke's eyes snapped up, locking on the blond boy. "What?"

Kakashi sensed imminent bloodshed and sighed. Though much improved since the first days of Team 7, Naruto still had the capability to open his mouth and say the absolute wrong thing – even if it did happen to be the honest truth.

"Well, she is!" Naruto insisted, waving his chopsticks around. "She's a MILF."

Sasuke turned red and launched himself at Naruto, who seemed to realize the danger and bolted. "Naruto, you bastard, I'm going to kill you!"

"I'm just saying -!"

Sasuke roared in anger and tossed a shuriken-riddled log at the blond boy.

Meanwhile, Sakura turned to Kakashi and stared at him curiously. "Kakashi-sensei, what's a MILF?"

"Um... the exact meaning?" he asked, sweating a little under the mask.

Sakura harrumphed, "I'm not a little girl anymore, you know, and I've probably heard worse."

Best just to be blunt, then.

"It means 'mother I'd like to fuck,'" Kakashi said, burying his nose in his book. "Like Saeko-chan in Icha Icha Paradise volume 3."

And all awkwardness about his status as Sasuke's teacher and his donated eye aside, the great Copy-Nin Kakashi could not honestly say that even he would not be tempted if the widow Uchiha made a move on him, for she was definitely very easy on the eyes.

Sakura sighed, putting down her bento and carefully covering it. "Would you mind watching our lunches for a moment, sensei? I have to go save my two moronic teammates from their own testosterone-laden stupidity."

Kakashi flipped a page and let himself get absorbed in the text. "No internal injuries, Sakura."

"Okay, sensei," she giggled and he couldn't help feeling just a tiny bit sorry for the boys.

...Well, maybe not too much.

AN: Because if Mikoto Uchiha had lived to see Team 7, you know that this sort of thing would happen. For some reason, I still imagine Sasuke would be wearing the dumb purple rope belt. It's kind of his thing now.

Anyway, in this universe, Mikoto survives, having lost a lot of blood, and she and Sasuke pretty much are violently overprotective of each other in their own fashions.

This formerly was the 12th one shot in Variables, before I decided to break it down.