"Unlovable"

Chapter 1: First Encounter

Life sucked. That was the thought in Eric Van Der Woodsen's mind as he sat in his bed, staring at the basketball he was currently dribbling on the floor.

You were brought into the world without your permission, then expected to grow up in a world full of idiots who only thought of themselves and who would betray you in a second if it meant saving their own hide. Even friends—even best friends—would turn their back on you if it was a way for them to get ahead. Then, once you were eighteen, you were expected to get a job working with a bunch of rude people who would disrespect you, working for an even ruder person who would disrespect you even more and treat you like a slave while paying you barely enough to survive.

Come to think of it, your whole life you're a slave. Your parents have you so that they can have a slave, and then, once you're eighteen, they expect you to get a job and become someone else's slave. Not to mention the fact that they want you out of the house. Once you're an adult, they're done with you. They brought you into the world, but they expect you to survive on your own even though you weren't the one who asked to be brought into this world.

"Eric! Stop dribbling the ball in the house! It's louder than thunder down here!" Lily called from downstairs.

Eric sighed, then dropped the ball, letting it fall to the floor and roll underneath his desk chair. He then lay back on his bed, his head propped up by his hands as he stared at the ceiling.

He sighed again. At least his mother had't kicked him out of the house. And, his family was rich, so he really didn't need to worry about getting a job just yet. Though, he supposed his mother would expect him to go to college. She had so many expectations for him that he just didn't know if he could live up to them all.

The truth was, he wasn't sure he even wanted to go to college. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to do at all.

"Eric! It's time for dinner!" Lily called up the stairs to him.

He let out a frustrated groan. He didn't even have time alone to think in this house anymore.

With a loud sigh, he got out of bed, then headed downstairs.

~GG~

"Smells good," Lily said, hugging her husband from behind as he stirred the chili he was making.

Rufus smiled, and turned his head so that he could kiss her. "Of course it does! Everything I make smells delicious!"

Lily smirked. "You have a very high opinion on yourself."

"When it comes to my cooking, I do. And for good reason!" he said, turning his attention back to his chili. He tasted a bit from the spoon, then added a few more spices.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're so full of it!" She walked to the front of the island, and began to mix the salad.

Rufus grinned, then looked over at her. "Just as you'll be so full of me tonight?"

"Oh my gosh, could you guys please remember that it's not only you two living in this house?" Eric griped as he came down the stairs and entered the kitchen area. He went into the cupboard to gather up the necessities for setting the table.

"You heard Rufus and I in bed one time and you never let us hear the end of it," Lily said.

Eric held up a hand. "Okay, let's not relive that night, please. I'm just starting to get the sounds out of my head. And you know darn well that wasn't the only time. I've heard you two more times than I've mentioned to you. Then there's the things you two say to each other like just now. I swear, if they could, my ears would sue you for all the trauma you two have put them through."

Rufus and Lily smirked at each other.

"Well, you're in a lovely mood," Lily said sarcastically once turning her attention back to her son.

"Whatever," Eric grumbled as he continued to set the table.

No one said much more of anything as they finished preparing dinner.

Once they all say down together for dinner, Eric's bad mood became apparent again.

"This is delicious! Thank you for making us dinner," Lily said to Rufus with a smile.

Rufus smiled as well. "I love making dinner for you and our family."

They nuzzled noses, then kissed.

"Ugh! Will you guys please knock it off?" Eric complained, his tone filled with annoyance.

Rufus nodded at him. "What's with you? You never seemed to mind your mother and I displaying our affection before."

"Yeah, well I do mind, all right? There's only so much I can take. I would rather not see my mother making out with my stepdad, thank you very much!" Eric knew he was being a jerk, but he really didn't care. He was so sick of couples making out in front of him, or being all lovey dovey in public. Had they no respect for the single? No. They only cared about themselves and showing off.

"Eric, Rufus and I were not 'making out.' We're husband and wife. We kiss. That's what married couple do," Lily said, raising an eyebrow at her son.

Rufus smirked. "Among other things."

Lily smirked as well, and gently elbowed him.

Eric had had enough. He stood up. "You know what? I'm suddenly not hungry anymore. He headed over to the closet and pulled out his coat.

Lily stood up. "Eric, come back here this instant and eat your dinner! Stop being so ridiculous."

Eric shook his head. "Leave it to you to brush your child's feelings aside. It's funny how you just assume I'm being ridiculous instead of stopping to think that maybe, just maybe I might have something on my mind." He put his coat on.

Lily's expression softened a bit. "Well, then come back and talk with us. Tell us what's wrong."

Eric glanced at his mother and stepfather. Rufus was now standing behind Lily with his arms around her waist. Lily's hands were resting overtop of Rufus' hands.

Eric sighed. "You wouldn't understand anyway." He then pressed the button to the elevator.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked with concern.

"Out. I need some fresh air. I'll be back in a bit." With that, Eric stepped onto the elevator, and let the doors shut away his mother and stepfather.

He sighed, relieved to finally be alone. He didn't know where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get out of that sickeningly sweet house of love before he went insane. Heck, a part of him felt like he already had.

~GG~

Lily picked at her chili, not really eating any of it.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with your food?" Rufus teased as he sat back down next to her. He set her newly refilled wine glass down with one hand, and rubbed her back with the other hand.

Lily sighed. "I don't know what to do with him anymore. Heck, I don't know what to do with any of my children anymore. I gave Scott away. My daughter hates me for putting her boyfriend in jail. Charles hates me for selling his company." She sighed. "And now Eric hates me for not listening to him. I try to understand him, I really do. It's just that he rarely lets me in anymore, so it's hard to know what's going on with him. I'm a terrible mother." She set down her spoon, and pushed away her bowl, no longer hungry.

Rufus moved his chair closer to her, and wrapped his right arm tightly around her. "Don't ever call yourself a terrible mother, Lil. You are an excellent mother! I mean, sure you've made some bad choices when it comes to parenting, but what parent hasn't? You're human, and humans make mistakes. It happens to the best of us. Heck, you think I haven't made any mistakes? Look at how I've handled Jenny. I shipped her off to her mother's because I couldn't deal with her anymore."

Lily looked at him. "But you did it for her own good. She needed to be with her mother."

Rufus nodded. "Just as whatever you do for your children is for their own good. At least, in your mind it is. You were trying to protect Serena from whom you thought was a sexual predator. You may have gone about it the wrong way, but I can understand why you did it. When it comes to selling Bass Enterprises, well, how were you to know this whole mess with Russell would occur? You had no way of knowing! You had to sell it to save it. I'm sure in time Chuck will understand that. And, as for Eric, it's a teenager thing. I know from experience that sometimes teenagers just don't want to talk to their parents about what is going on in their lives."

"But I'm his mother! I have a right to know if something is bothering him!" Lily said.

Rufus smirked. "Think about it, Lil. When you were growing up, did you want to tell Cece everything?"

Lily couldn't help but grin as she thought back to certain predicaments she had been in. "All right, point taken."

Rufus grinned as well. "When he gets back, maybe I can talk to him. He might be more willing to open up to his stepfather than he would his mother. You know, man-to-man."

Lily stroked some hair out of his eyes. "You'd do that?"

Rufus nodded. "Of course! I love him as if he were my own son. I'd do anything for you and our children."

Lily took his face between his hands and kissed him. "Thank you. I love you."

Rufus stroked her cheek. "I love you too, Lil. I always have, and I always will."

They kissed again.

"You didn't mention Scott earlier. Do you still think I was wrong in giving him away?" Lily asked after breaking the kiss.

Rufus shook his head. "No. While I still wish you would have come to me first, I don't think giving him away was wrong. You didn't think you could raise him, so you found him a good family who could."

Lily kissed him yet again, then turned her attention back to her chili. She pulled it back toward herself, and she and Rufus finished their dinner.

"I should have made us some dessert," she said once they had finished.

Rufus stood up, and pulled her chair out for her. "That's all right. I'd rather have you as my dessert anyway."

Lily grinned, and stood up. She wrapped her arms around him. "Well, that works out well because I'd rather have you as my dessert."

Rufus grinned. "Should we wait for Eric to get home?"

Lily laughed. "Shut up!" She playfully swatted her husband's shoulder.

Rufus laughed, and picked her up. "What? I thought we could add something to his list of traumatizing events!"

"You're so bad!" Lily said.

Rufus lowered his eyes. "You know it!"

They grinned at each other and kissed, then Rufus carried his wife up the stairs to have their "dessert."

~GG~

Eric walked the streets with his hands in his pockets, and his head held down low.

He knew he should probably apologize to his mother and stepfather when he got home. He wasn't really angry with them. He was just frustrated is all.

He was tired of seeing everyone so in love. He had to see it with his sister and Ben. He had to see it with his mother and Rufus. He was even starting to see it with Blair and Dan. Who would have thought?

"I guess love is for everyone but me," he grumbled to himself. "Maybe if I didn't keep screwing up, I'd actually have somebody."

Eric still wasn't quite sure why Elliot had broken up with him. Elliot hadn't really given him any good reason. As for Jonathan, well, Eric could still kick himself for the way he had acted, and for the way he had handled things with Jonathan. He had blown his chance with him not once, but twice!

He was just so frustrated! Why did love come so easily to everyone but him? Was it because he was gay? Maybe. Surely it was easier finding straight people than it was finding gay people.

Suddenly, it started to rain.

Eric sighed. "Great! Just great," he grumbled. He hadn't brought an umbrella, and his coat didn't even come with a hood.

He reached into his pocket for his wallet, only to find empty space. "Crap!" He had forgotten to switch his wallet over to the pants he was currently wearing. He was wearing a different pair earlier, but spilled juice on them, so he had switched into these. "Damn it!" Now he couldn't even hail a cab.

With a frustrated sigh, he ran faster, heading home. What made it even worse was that he was two blocks from home.

This was the very last thing he wanted. He was already down and out about not having a boyfriend, and now he had to run home and get drenched in the rain.

Suddenly, he crashed into someone. He looked up and saw the most gorgeous guy he had ever seen in his life. He actually looked a lot like Neal Patrick Harris, only an even hotter, late teen version of him.

"I'm sorry!" Eric said. "I didn't see you there. I'm just trying to get home and out of this rain."

The guy smiled at him. He had an umbrella, so he moved it so that it was over Eric's head as well. "It's all right. How far do you live from here?"

"Two blocks," Eric answered. I forgot my wallet at home. Otherwise, I'd take cab."

"I can give you the money," the guy said, reaching into his pocket.

"You don't have to do that. Really. I'll survive. A little water never killed anybody," Eric said.

"I insist," the guy said to him.

Eric shook his head, and held up a hand. "I can't take your money. I'd feel too bad."

The guy was persistent. "Well, how about I walk you home then? At least you'll have an umbrella."

Eric smiled. "I wouldn't want to put you out of your way."

The guy shook his head. "You'd be doing me a favor. I'll feel too bad if I just leave you to get soaked in the rain."

Eric smiled. "Well, I wouldn't want you feeling bad. All right. Thank you." He really had only agreed because this guy was cute. Wouldn't that be something if he ended up finding the love of his life by literally bumping into him in the rain? It would be like out of a movie.

"I'm Derek by the way," the cute guy extended his free hand to Eric.

Eric laughed, and shook his hand. "Believe it or not, my name is Eric."

Derek laughed too. "How about that? Eric and Derek."

"It's nice to meet you," Eric said with a smile.

Derek smiled back, and Eric couldn't help but notice how adorable his smile was. "It's nice to meet you too."

Eric suddenly didn't even notice the cold rain anymore. His heart was suddenly too warm to notice it.

~GG~

Eric couldn't stop smiling as he took the elevator up to the apartment. He and Derek had talked the whole way to the apartment, and he found that they had a lot in common. They liked the same movie genera, they loved the same bands, heck, they even liked the same foods! When they had arrived at Eric's, Eric had asked Derek if he wanted to come in for a soda or something. Derek had declined, and Eric's heart had sunk a little. That was until Derek suggested that he and Eric meet up tomorrow at noon and have lunch at Rosa Mexicano (since they both loved Mexican), then see the new Adam Sandler movie (since they both loved Adam Sandler).

Eric had quickly agreed to meet him at Rose Mexicano at noon.

The elevator doors opened, and Eric entered the living room, still smiling. Even his mother (dressed only in her negligee and robe) sitting on Rufus' lap and kissing Rufus (who was only in his robe) didn't lessen his mood. In fact, now he found them kind of sweet.

They broke from kissing to look at him.

"There you are! Where did you go?" Lily asked. "I was worried."

Earlier, Eric would have shot back a comment like, "You don't seem too worried. You're too occupied with Rufus' lips to worry." However, now that he had met Derek, he was much more understanding. "I went for a walk. I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier. And Rufus, I'm sorry I didn't eat much of your chili. From what I tasted, it was really great."

Lily looked shocked.

Rufus remained cool. "It's all right. There's still some in the fridge if you'd like."

Eric nodded. "Cool. I'm actually starved." He headed to the fridge, and took out the Tupperware bowl filled with the left over chili.

"You're soaking wet!" Lily said.

"Am I?" Eric looked down at his clothes. He grinned. "I guess I am." He really hadn't noticed. Not since talking with Derek anyway. "I'll change into my pajamas after I eat." He grabbed a bowl and a spoon, and began to dish some of the chili into his bowl with the spoon.

"Well, you suddenly seem in a much better mood! I'm glad," Lily said with a smile.

Eric looked up at her and grinned. "Me too." Indeed he was. Maybe love was in the cards for him after all. True, he had only just met Derek, but tomorrow he would find out more about him. And then, they could take things from there.

He could hardly wait!

~GG~

"I guess you don't need to have that stepfather to stepson talk with him," Lily said to Rufus once Eric had retired to his room for the night. She and Rufus were cuddled on the couch together, and she had her head resting on his shoulder.

Rufus grinned. "I guess not! I wonder what put him in such a good mood all the sudden?"

Lily smirked. "Don't ask questions, just enjoy it while we can."

Rufus chuckled, then kissed the top of her head. He yawned. "Let's go to bed. We can investigate further tomorrow," he joked.

Lily stretched and yawned. "Sounds like a plan."

They two then headed up to their bedroom, glad Eric's mood was no longer foul.

~GG~

Eric looked out his bedroom window as he lay in bed. He was still thinking about Derek. He knew it was crazy. He didn't even know for sure if Derek was gay or not. He had a feeling he was. He sighed—this time with happiness.

He then rolled over onto his side, holding his extra pillow. He smiled before closing his eyes. He guessed all would be relieved tomorrow.

It was his last thought before he drifted off to sleep.