A/N: So I am going to write this because I thought of it, and I hope/know it will be amazing. I will be writing in Logan's POV only. I want to really capture his emotions.

Summary:Kendall and Logan have been together for a few months, but Kendall's anger is a problem..what happens when he takes it WAY too far. Will Logan forgive him.

Disclaimer: Warning dating violence, rape and self harm.

Tainted Love

Chapter 1

I was being shaken awake lightly. I opened my eyes to see my boyfriend Kendall Knight. I had cried myself to sleep after a fight we had earlier.

"Logie..." I turned away from him not wanting to hear another meaningless I'm sorry. "Logie, please look at me."

I refused to face him. "Kendall, please just go away." I knew that I was on the verge of losing it again. All I wanted to do was forgive him and wrap my arms around him. But I couldn't forgive him as easily as I always had. He went to far his time.

"Logie...please." He was using a super sweet voice.

I sighed and let a few tears fall. I cleared my throat before I spoke. "Kendall...you hit me." He had never hit me before. This was the first time. The guy who had sworn to protect me was the one I needed protection from. "And you accused me of cheating on you...I'm with you all day everyday. I have no time to cheat on you."

"I know. I took things too far this time. I don't want to be this kind of boyfriend. I want to be a loving and kind boyfriend. Its just that when I leave and I come back and you are talking to another guy about his love life..." I heard Kendall pause. He was losing control again. His anger had become a really big issue in our relationship. We had been together for three months. I loved him with everything I had, but I was tired of being yelled at.

"Kendall...Dak was upset. He's our friend...what did you want me to do. Tell him to go talk to someone else. Besides Dak isn't even gay." I finally sat up and looked at Kendall. He looked miserable. He knew he had messed up.

"I know, I overreacted and I see that now." He touched my cheek where I knew it was bruising. I had put and ice pack on it but it hadn't helped much. "I did that?" He sounded surprised. I nodded. He pulled me close to him and gently kissed my cheek. "Logan, please forgive me for being such an idiot. I won't ever hit you again."

I looked at him for a second. He was different this time, he seemed like he was actually sorry. "Kendall...baby, your anger is the problem. You yell at me all the time for things I don't even mean to do. I feel like I have to walk a tight rope with no safety net with you."

"I'll control it better. I swear, I promise. I've never broken a promise to you."

Yes you have, you've broken a lot of promises. I thought, I just didn't want to say it out loud. "Kendall this is your last chance."

I knew that I wasn't serious. He knew I wasn't either, I had said it so many times that like his sorrys it meant nothing.

He pulled me close and hugged me tightly. He kissed the top of my head. "I am so sorry, Logie."

"Its okay Kendall, as long as you don't do it again." I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. We walked downstairs together and watched TV. I laid down on his lap as we watch 1,000 Ways To Die.

We heard James and Carlos run in. I felt someone hit me, and felt an elbow to the face. I grabbed my cheek, although James' elbow hadn't hit me hard it was in the same spot where Kendall had hit earlier. I walked into the bathroom. Kendall followed me and looked at my face again. "Well at least now you can just blame it on James." He said.

I was a little happy about it too. I didn't want to have to tell people what happened and I was a horrible liar. Kendall disappeared for a second and appeared with a frozen bag of peas. He put it on my cheek, and lead me back to our room.

I laid down on our shared bed, while Kendall cuddled with me. "Kendall..." I said softly.

"What is it Logie?" He asked in a soft and caring voice.

"Do you really think that I am cheating on you?" I asked. He always accused me of it even if he had absolutely no reason to.

I heard Kendall sigh. "Yes and no. In the back of my mind I am always afraid that you are cheating on me, because sometimes I'm not the best boyfriend. Everyone knows how my temper is and I am afraid that someone will swoop down and steal you right from under my nose. But then I know that you would never cheat on me."

"Kendall. I love you, more then I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. You mean the world to me, I would never even consider cheating on you. I wish that you would get that through your thick skull."

He smiled at me and then kissed me. I took off the peas of my face and kissed him back. "I love you, Logie." He said softly.

"I love you too." I kissed him one last time and with that, we fell asleep on our bed together.

Two weeks passed and Kendall was the absolute perfect boyfriend, we hadn't fought or even argued in the slightest. He was never angry at me and we were the perfect couple. We were heading to the studio to work on a new song that Gustavo had written. We had the sheets in our hands on the limo ride there. We were warming up our vocals and trying to get a feel for the song so that we could get out of there as soon as possible.

"RUN IT AGAIN!" Gustavo yelled. "And Kendall! What the hell are you doing? Because it sure as hell ain't SINGING!"

"We've been doing harmonies and layers all morning then you send us in here without a break and expect us to do this song, and then you wonder why I'm not sounding all that great." Kendall answered back with a snap.

"Not that great? You sound like SHIT!" Gustavo yelled again. Kelly turned off the mic and the talked to Gustavo for a few minutes. Gustavo raised his hands up in defeat and then walked out of the booth. "You guys have a ten minute break. Mr. X will be here in ten."

Kendall walked out of the studio, but while he was walking out he slammed his fist into the door as he was walking out. I looked at the others and motioned for them to stay here before I ran after him. "Kendall!"

When I finally caught up to him he was in the coffee room his fist clenched and sitting in a chair jiggling his leg. He only jiggled his leg when he was trying not to explode. "What Logan?" He said in a mean and rude tone.

"Kendall...I didn't do anything please don't snap at me, I want to help." I said with a hurt tone.

"Whatever, just leave me alone." And with that he walked away. He didn't want to talk to me and that was rare.

We were in the studio again watching as Mr. X was showing us dance moves. Kendall's head wasn't in it so he kept messing up. "No, no, no. Start again!" He yelled.

"What?" James yelled. "We were almost done with the routine."

"Well, why don't you tell Kendall hear to take this seriously then, otherwise you will be here all night...dancing." He said, while he threw his hands in the air and started dancing himself.

"Kendall, come on. Do you really want to be here all night?" James yelled.

"You know what, I don't need this." Kendall turned and walked away.

I turned to follow but Mr. X grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go. "No, you let him go. You stay, if anyone in the group needs the practice, its you."

I frowned. I knew that this was going to be bad. I knew that Kendall would be in a very bad mood when I saw him again and he was more than likely going to take it out on me. Oh joy, another night of sleeping either on the couch or floor of James and Carlos' room so I don't have to see him.

An hour later we were released and in the limo going back to Palm Woods. "Logan, whats been up with Kendall today? Did you two get into another fight last night?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't know whats been wrong with him. He wouldn't talk to me earlier he just walked away."

When we returned to Palm Woods, I saw Kendall sitting next to the pool talking to Jo. No one but James, Carlos, Katie and Mama Knight knew about Kendall and I. We knew that if we came out now it would possibly ruin BTR's just starting popularity.

I glanced over before I walked into the lobby. I saw Kendall smile at Jo and then caress her cheek. I knew that Carlos and James had seen it too. "He's just flirting. He has to, to make sure that you two don't get found out." James said encouragingly. But right as he finished say that I saw Kendall lean in and kiss Jo. His eyes were closed and he opened them mid kiss and aimed them directly at me.

"Really, James...explain that to me then." And with that I ran up to 2J and slammed the door and ran up to mine and Kendall's room. I looked around for a minute. I threw my bag down and then looked at a picture of Kendall and I. I punched it with all my might. I winced in pain when I felt the glass shatter and cut my hands up a little bit.

James and Carlos were at the door. "I'll grab the pillows and blanket." James said.

Carlos nodded. "I've got the clothes."

I knew that they were use to mine and Kendall's fights. Everyone we lived with wondered why we even bothered. We fought a lot...or should I say that Kendall lost his temper a lot and it caused me to not want to be near him. I walked into Carlos and James' room. They entered a second later with some of my belonging and a first aid kit.

I cleaned up my wounds on my hand and got the inflatable mattress I had recently invested in. I blew it up, threw my pillow and then my blankets on it. I collapsed on it and threw my head into the pillow. I hated the fact that I was crying over Kendall for what had to be the thousandth time. James and Carlos had left, they knew that I needed time to wind down from things like this.

I don't get it...Kendall told me that he loved me...that I meant the world to him. He swore he would never cheat on me again. Why did he kiss Jo? He knew what he was doing. He looked right at me. I don't know why he was trying to get back at me. I didn't do anything. I hadn't talked to my ex Camille or even any other guy for that matter. I did nothing wrong.

"I did nothing wrong." I said out loud. But then I heard another voice in my head. Kendall's voice. It was telling me that he had done it for a reason. I had pissed him off in some way and that I deserved it. I sighed. I wished that I could shut that voice up but I knew that I couldn't.

There was a knock on the door. "Logie?" I heard Kendall ask. I was silent. "Logan, I want to talk to you."

I ran up and locked the door automatically. "Logie, unlock the door I need to talk to you."

"Go away, Kendall. I have nothing to say to you. You cheated on me. I'm done."

Kendall was quiet for a second. I heard his fist come into contact with the door. I jumped back in fear. "Open the door Logan. Or I will kick it in." I knew that he would and that would just raise more questions.

I stood up and made my way over to the door, I took a deep breath and then unlocked it. He instantly barged in and slammed it shut. Locking it as he did so. "What do you mean your done?" He asked in a low and dangerous growl.

I stepped away from him. I felt tears falling down my face. "Kendall...I can't take this pain anymore. You always hurt me. You yell at me, you cheated on me and you hit me."

Kendall got into my face. "THAT WAS ONE TIME! WHY DO YOU KEEP HOLDING IT OVER MY HEAD." He screamed.

I jumped, I was scared. He was at his boiling point and it wouldn't end good for me if it happened. "Kendall...I'm not."

"You deserved it you know. You were flirting with Dak, I let it go that day but don't tell me you weren't. You were nudging him and smacking him like you use to do to me before we started dating. It is clearly obvious that you were trying to get him into the sack." Kendall said in a tone that I didn't recognize.

I looked at him for a moment, the fact that he thought I was trying to cheat on him brought more tears to my eyes. "Kendall...I would never cheat on you. I love you, you mean everything to me..."

Kendall smiled. "Then why do you want to leave me Logie, you know that I love you more than anything in this world and that I only hurt you in ways that you have hurt me."

"Kendall...I've never cheated on you, I don't yell at you...this isn't fair to me." I said. "I don't think I can take anymore pain, I don't think that I can be with you anymore."

"Look, I was having a bad day Logie. I came back here and Jo was trying to talk me down. Then she kissed me, when I opened my eyes and saw you I pushed her away. I didn't want that kiss."

For a brief second I believed him. I believed every word. Then my logic kicked in. No, I saw him go in for this kiss. It was him. I sighed a deep sigh and looked at Kendall. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Kendall..."

"Logie, I love you." His voice cracked. "I can't lose you. I wanted to cry when I saw what you did to that picture of us."

"Kendall, I think I need a break. I need to get my head together and get over you cheating on me before we can move passed it and its just more confusing for me when we are together and you tell me things you don't mean."

Kendall dropped his arms. He stepped back and looked at me, I saw him clinch his fist and I couldn't help it I flinched. Kendall realized what he was doing, he unballed his fist and looked at me. "I'm so sorry that I have hurt you so much that you feel that you can't be with me." Kendall said. I saw tears welling in his eyes. He ran away from me.

I sat down on the mattress and put my face in my hands. I allowed the sobs to come out and didn't care who heard it. I felt arms around me and saw that it was Carlos. James was standing in front of me. "Are you okay?" Carlos asked.

I thought about it for a minute before I answered. "No, I'm not. I can't live without him but he can't think that he can keep doing this to me. It is taking everything out of me not to just go tell him its all okay, but he has to learn a lesson." I said. I felt crummy. I wanted nothing more than to just run up to Kendall and tell him that I forgave him.

I knew that I had to be strong though because if I wasn't it would just stay the way things were and it would never change.

End Chapter 1

A/N: So I just wanted to set up a basis for it. The next chapter will be better. So what do you guys think? Do you want to read more of this? Let me know.

Read and Review please.