a/n: happy belated birthday, my lovelylovely twinnie, Ninja Potter. i adore you and i'm so sorry for writing this so late! i've attempted LilyScorpius for you, so obviously i've had trouble and was struggling not to make this RoseScorpius, haha. ;) so here you are!
disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.
Unrequited Love
He sees a glow illuminating the tree and Merlin, he should've guessed.
"Lily? Is that you?" asks Scorpius into the darkness, wand tip lighting up and there she is, cross-legged and barefoot and leaning against a wooden wall. Her tired eyes have never looked so red-rimmed, he notices, her hair's never been this disheveled and her clothing this ripped, and to him, she's never been more beautiful. Wait—no, scratch that.
"What?" she asks, weary and eyebrows furrowed, and for a moment she thinks he sees vulnerability—she turns away.
She tucks a curl behind an ear, mumbling, "Have you come to make fun of me, then?"
He doesn't answer for a long moment. "No."
"Then why are you here? You've just broken up with Rose about a week ago, right? Shouldn't you be trying to win her back again?" asks the redhead bitterly; he blinks.
"I don't want her back," he sits down, pants rumpling and shirt crinkling in the process. "So. Teddy, huh?"
Lily's head snaps up, boring holes into his mind, and growls. "Don't mention him. Don't even. He's off with my fucking cousin. I don't care anymore." She's close to breaking down again and well, he can't have that, can he?
"Well, considering you just professed your undying love for him in front of all of your family, in a vain attempt to break him up, I think you do care." Quirking a blonde eyebrow, he throws a skeptical look at her. She glares again and god, when she does that, it sort of makes him want to kiss her—is that normal?
"I don't," replies Lily, "can we talk about something else?"
And this is how they become friends.
"Scorpius!"
"Yes, Peaches?"
"First of all, what are you doing? Second of all—I hate peaches!"
"Kid, that's the point."
"Don't call me kid; I'm only a year younger than you. What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? Studying."
"You're studying? But there's no point! You're going to fail anyway!"
"Ouch, right in the jugular, that one. Thanks kid, now stop bothering me."
"Well, then. I guess I'll leave you to it."
"Peaches! Don't go."
"But you just said…!"
"Please stay? Please? These books are killing me."
"Well, of course they're killing you; you've never read one in your entire life!"
"Hey, hey, I've read…uh, that book. With that name. By that autho—you know what? Never mind. Just stay."
"Always."
She swears she sees the hint of a smile on his face as she takes a seat next to him.
She lets out a long breath.
"S'wrong, Peaches?" he says, putting down his quill and looking up at her. Her eyelashes graze her skin as she closes her eyes, the bright red contrasting sharply with her pale, almost translucent flesh.
"I'm not good enough," admits Lily finally, swallowing her pride and her dull eyes tell him everything. (Merlin, he's got to find time to murder that cousin of his.)
He pretends she doesn't know what she's talking about.
"What're you going on about, Lily?"
Letting out a breath of frustration, she glances around the empty Common Room before hissing, "You know. Teddy."
When he hears her say it, it's as if something vital has been revealed—something he hadn't realized before but does now—that she will always love Teddy.
It doesn't matter to her if he's with her cousin, the part-Veela, because she is the one to fight till the very end, until she's lying there on the battlefield bleeding and dying and drained of whatever made her Lily in the first place. Because she doesn't care that she's hurting herself and Victoire in Teddy in the process—what Lily wants, Lily gets—only this time, it's something she can never ever have. (He's seen the way Teddy looks at Victoire—like nothing matters but her happiness, like she's the universe and he's just a simple star—and so is Lily, but she's a supernova and she'll burn herself out one day.)
He thinks of this all in one moment, one fleeting glance; she's watching him expectantly.
"Don't say that, Lily," replies Scorpius quietly, voice suddenly devoid of warmth and happiness. (She's draining him like she's draining herself.)
"What, that I'm not good enough?" She scoffs. "The thing is, though, it's true. I might just sound like some angsty teenage girl, but I'm not good enough, I'm really not. I'm not good enough for Teddy, I'm not good enough for my parents, I'm not good enough for this fucking school—I'm just plain-old, we've-seen-it-all-before Lily. Rose's got the smarts, Roxy's got the kindness, Dom's got the drama, Molly's got the adventure, Lucy's got the art, Victoire's got the beauty, and what am I left with? Nothing, I've got absolutely bloody noth—"
He's been listening this whole time, and if she finishes that sentence, he's going to explode.
"Shut up, Lily. Shut up," he finally bursts. "You've got everything, you idiot! You've got the goddamned huge family that everyone loves. You've got a massive house and money and everything you could ever want. You've got brains, too, and you're kind, and you're dramatic, and you're adventurous, and you're artistic! Most of all, you're fucking beautiful and you know it, so don't tell me you don't. Don't tell me you've got it fucking bad when you've got the perfect life. You are so fucking lucky, and I hate that you don't even realize that."
He finishes, running a hand through his hair and then sighs wearily. She opens her mouth to speak, eyes desperate and angry and pleading all mixed together in those grass-green orbs.
"Don't even, Lily. You have no idea," he shakes his head in disappointment and begins walking away. He stops at the door. "I think…we need a break."
She is left standing.
The next few weeks are awkward and unbearable—she can't look him in the eye and he can't even sneak a glance at her in the Great Hall, or he thinks he'll mess up again.
"Pass the salt, please," mumbles Lily to Scorpius, who's jammed in the seat across from her by Albus and Cassandra Flint. Wordlessly, he picks it up and hands it to her, their fingers barely brushing, but it gives them tingles all the same.
"Weather's nice," Albus chimes in lamely, and the four glance up at the ceiling (a dark gray, clouds rolling in like waves) and they look at Albus again. "Never mind. Um, Cassie, anything to share…?"
The girl in question looks blankly at him. "Uh, nothing really."
Albus prompts her to go on, sending her a look he thinks is subtle but Lily and Scorpius see anyway. "I…got a new quill yesterday! When Will and I had our date."
Albus' face suddenly sours and Lily and Scorpius both stand, sensing and argument about to start.
"Where're you two going?" asks Cass, bewildered, but Albus is still scowling.
"Library."
"Common Room."
They say at the same time, before sending one another panicked looks.
"Library. I mean library," says Scorpius, and Cass' eyebrows furrow for a moment before Al starts talking—well, more like berating.
The pair rush out of the Hall just in time to hear Cassandra's retort back, and they're dissolving in laughter until—
"They're so in love," she grins at him, a bit warily.
Suddenly, nothing's funny anymore because the theme of love is what always makes them bicker and therefore, has been classified as a touchy subject.
"I disagree," he hears himself saying, "I think Al loves her like a sister, but she loves him. Unrequited love, y'know?"
"It's a bitch," she looks into his eyes and studies the depths, but she finds no anger, nor sadness, nor emotion. He nods absentmindedly, thinking of Lily and her pain and Teddy and—god, love that's unrequited? It hurts. (He would know, after all.)
"Mm," he gives a noncommittal response, shrugging his shoulders—
"Anything been going on in your life?" asks Lily, and he feels his stomach turn over.
"Well—I was considering asking out Rose again." As he lies through his teeth, he wonders exactly how much she knows. Enough, he supposes, for she's glaring at him like he's done something horrible and…oh wait. He did.
But it doesn't turn out to be what he was expecting.
"Don't do this to her!" she huffs, jabbing a finger at his chest. He rubs the spot.
"What? What am I doing?" Scorpius dares to ask, raising his eyebrows in defiance.
She swallows and cries, "You're pretending to care about her, when you really don't!"
Deafening silence.
He stops moving and his heart is racing at a-hundred-beats-per-minute; what is she saying?
"Do you hear yourself right now?" The steeliness of his eyes almost frightens her. "Who are we talking about here, me or Teddy, huh Lily? Who?"
He throws his book bag over his shoulder, fingers digging into the fabric of the strap and begins walking away. (Does this situation seem just a little bit familiar?)
"Fuck you, Scorpius."
He ignores her.
Unrequited love is a bitch.
He gets back together with Rose.
She doesn't comment.
"So, how's Herbology?" he asks casually, feigning interest and really just taking the time to savor the moment. "I know you hate it."
"It's fine."
"Good."
They sit in silence for a few minutes.
"Scorpius, I've been meaning to ask you something," blurts out Lily unexpectedly, watching him with unfathomable eyes.
"Yes?"
"D'you—d'you ever think things will be the same again?"
His heart sinks and he wonders if she's talking about Teddy again.
"Look, Lily," he says seriously, "you have to move on from Teddy. He's gone. He's with Victoire."
She stares blankly at him. (Oh, no, is she going to get angry again?)
"What the hell are you going on about, Blondie?" she hasn't called him that in years. "I was talking about me and you, Scorpius."
He pinches her in the arm.
"Ow! What was that for?" she rubs the spot and glares at him while kicking him from under the coffee table.
"For calling me Blondie. And what do you mean by 'will things ever be the same'? Are you getting all mushy, love?" he teases, nudging her gently and suddenly the casual way they seem to gravitate toward each other is back. "We still have a couple of weeks or so until I graduate, kid."
"I know, I know," rolling her eyes, she continues on a more serious note. "I mean, will we ever be…y'know, best friends again?"
Puzzled, he replies, "What are you going on about, Lily? We're still best friends. We never stopped, as far as I was concerned."
"Really?"
"Really."
He breaks up with her cousin.
She doesn't comment.
She is made of feathers from an exotic bird and sunshine found only in the tropics and a hot, blazing inferno that could only be described as Fiendfyre.
And he's the tag-along best friend because the roles are reversed, and all he can do is cling and fight for her and cling some more.
In a few months, she slowly but surely starts moving on from Teddy, but it's a painstaking process and any mention of l-o-v-e will set her off.
So he waits.
And waits.
And waits.
He waits for what seems like forever, taking a break from his usual girls, but it seems like he could wait for months, years, decades and he would still love her.
Occasionally he lets himself dream. Because of her bright green eyes just a shade different from her dad's and her fierce-but-protective, snarky attitude, he thinks maybe she's…the one.
(It's a match made in heaven.)
(She just needs to realize that.)
A year later.
She's finally over him.
He seizes the opportunity. "Are you sure you're alright?"
She nods cheerfully. "I think I am."
"Think isn't good enough, Peaches. Are you positive?"
Rolling her eyes, she replies, "Yes, Scorpius, I'm really sure. I'm over him, they're getting married, and I'm the flower girl. I'm fine."
"Alright…" he replies skeptically, and changes the subject. "I'm graduating tomorrow."
"I know."
"I'm leaving…"
"I know."
"And you'll be alone next year…"
"I know."
"We're going to keep in touch."
"Definitely."
He sighs and takes her hands into his. "You'll be okay, right?"
"Yeah," she nods, "I'll have Will and Cass and Maggie. I'll be fine."
"Okay," he replies, crushing her to his chest and resting his chin on her red curls, and he breathes in the scent that only Lily has. Mumbling into her hair, he says, "I'll miss you, Peaches."
"I'll miss you too, Blondie." She buries her head in his chest and he swears he feels wetness soaking into his shirt.
He grabs her shoulders and pushes her back, and sure enough, there are black tears running down her face, silently, and she looks mortified.
"Sorry—I just—this is really emotional and I'm really gonna miss you—"
Five things happen in one moment.
First, he realizes she is the most stunning person he will ever meet, even in this state of disarray. She's an exotic girl and he wonders dazedly, is this what love feels like? Because suddenly she's illuminated in this—this light that can only be described as being the one, and god, this is cheesy, but she's beautiful.
Second, he notices she's looking so vulnerable in her too-large tee-shirt and denim shorts, looking less like Tiger-Lily and more like Kitten-Lily—she looks so helpless that it almost breaks his heart.
Third, she brushes her tears away.
Fourth, he stops her, grabbing her arms.
And five: his lips meet hers in a way that makes the world stop spinning, and makes time stop in its tracks, and he's known all along that she's—well, she's the one.
She is the girl that makes his heart feel whole—fixes that gaping hole in his chest. She's the girl who will complete his happily-ever-after. She's the girl who'll ride with him into the sunset.
She gives him the thrill of life and the adventure, and the vigor—she makes his knees wobble and his heart beat triple what it's supposed to, and this is the girl he thinks of when he imagines his future.
She breaks away and looks up at him with eyes bursting with zeal and happiness, and he gazes at her with glassy orbs and a dazed expression on his face, and suddenly they're the sappy romantic couple they promised never to be…
And happy-ever-after doesn't seem so far away, now.
(Unrequited love? Ha.)