Author's Note: This one is for laloga, who encouraged me to continue with the insanity.

Smile

Future.

To My Dearest Mother of Dathomir,

Though I am separated from you and my sisters are gone, thanks to the machinations of my former Master Dooku (may he die most painfully and at my hand) and that bolts-for-brains pet of his, Grievous, (may he also die most painfully and at my hand) I will endeavor to inform you of my progress in the galaxy, as it was your wish for me to make my way independently.

I will not fail to live up to your expectations or to avenge the blood of my murdered sisters.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

There are a great number of seedy bars in the galaxy.

I think I shall drink at them all in honor of my departed sisters.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

I killed an obnoxious man today, so his friends offered me his job. I can use the money so I took it.

Their leader is about as big of a brat as I was when slaughtered my first enemies as a Sith and became the supreme warlord of Rattatak.

I suppose the work will do for now.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

Forgive me for not writing these last few days. They have been unusual. The work I referred to in my last correspondence has been...enlightening. I set free a girl who also lost her family - she was able to regain her brother because of my actions. She will not suffer as I suffered. This makes me feel - satisfied.

I also stuffed the bounty hunter brat in a box. I suspect he will not enjoy my prank as much as I did.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

The pestilent human male bounty hunter is continuing to pester me with his pathetic romantic advances. I would kill him for his presumptuousness, but as I am attempting to not slaughter every person who annoys me, I am restraining myself.

Restraint is very difficult, Mother. Perhaps I should stuff him in a box as well?

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

I am in need of some advice, as I am unsure of what to make of this situation. The Theelin bounty hunter is persisting in my acquaintance, and has repeatedly been attempting to engage me in evaluating the various well-formed attributes of the different species of males in the area.

It's somewhat entertaining. Should I be concerned she is going to betray me by lulling me into a false sense of security? Should I kill her now?

Yours in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

Thank you for your explanation. I believe I am enjoying this "female bonding" process you described. I will attempt not to kill the person you say is merely trying to be "friendly".

Yours in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

Latts (the Theelin bounty hunter - she dislikes being referred to as only "you, Theelin" and I have agreed to call her by name in honor of the "female bonding" process you spoke of) says that I should use the pestilent human male to my advantage, making him do my bidding until I bore of him. Though I am appreciative of having my own minions, she fails to understand I am already bored of him. Good minions do not persist in making pathetic attempts at flirting with their mistresses, they cower in terror! It's as if she has never enjoyed crushing pitiful beings under her heel before.

Still, I am attempting to restrain myself. I suspect tying up the pestilent human male and stuffing him in a box will only encourage him.

Do you, in all your wisdom, have advice on this situation?

Your (annoyed) daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

The bounty hunter brat finally made it back into town today. He was screaming something about becoming the greatest bounty hunter of all time in honor of his father, who he says was important somehow. I reminded him I stuffed him in a box.

Children are so amusing.

Your (entertained) daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

The pestilent human male bounty hunter made a comment about us becoming more intimate today. I made his face more intimate with my fist.

Thank you for your advice.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

The bounty hunter brat was questioning me on how to fight Force users today, so I taught him how to avoid being cut in two by a lightsaber.

I don't think he appreciates my teaching methods. Ungrateful wretch.

Your (unappreciated) daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

I encountered my former pet today. He claims to have found himself a brother. The brother seems to be missing almost as many man parts as Grievous.

Oh, and I'm currently trapped on a ship with Kenobi. I suppose I can assume he still has his man parts, even if they're out of use.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

Day four with Kenobi. I begin to sympathize with Skywalker. How he survived years of Kenobi's propriety I have no idea.

Yours in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

Kenobi's man parts are somewhat less out of use.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

Free now.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj

My Dearest Mother,

I have finally returned to Tatooine, for some unfathomable reason. Dirtball.

Latts bought me a drink, I reacquainted the pestilent human male with my fist, and provided the bounty hunter brat with another lesson on fighting Force users (he's getting rather light on his feet these days).

They're a strange, violent group, Mother.

I must be going. I'll be keeping an eye out for my former pet, but in the meantime, a girl's got to earn a living. The bounty hunter brat has found another multi-hunter job.

Your daughter in freedom,

Asajj