A/N: TWINSIE DON'T KILL wrote this fic for RENT where Mark goes on a dating show. And I was think WOW! I SURE DO WANT LORD BROCKHURST FROM THE BOY FRIEND TO BE ON ONE OF THESE! So I went with Whatsername! =D Hope you enjoy!
REVIEW PLEASE!
Disclaimer: DON'T OWN AI, RENT, THE BOY FRIEND OR SA!
Whatsername: *sigh* I never realized how lonely I actually am….
Heather: Yeah…you're a poor pathetic loser.
Whatsername: What-? HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
Heather: I'm magical, ok?
Whatsername: Uh….ok.
Heather: So, I couldn't help noticing that you're incredibly lonely and ugly.
Whatsername: Yeah, I am….HEY!
Heather: Well no worries! I set you up on a dating show!
Whatsername: A…WHAT?
Heather: Yeah! *pushes her into the studio*
Whatsername: Oh, fuck….
Host: Well, hello! Here we have our bachelorette!
Whatsername: I'm….I'm thoroughly confuzzled.
Heather: Just go with it!
Whatsername: Ok…
Host: Here we have three contestants and they all wanna be your date!
Twinsie: HEY! I HAD THIS IDEA FIRST! WHAT THE FUCK?
Butterflies: *silence her*
Host: That's better. ANYWAY. So yes! Let's start!
Whatsername: Um….hi….
Contestant 1: Greetings, madam!
Contestant 2: *grumbles*
Contestant 3: HI! I'M DESPERATE! Anything to get me away from my mom… Oops…
Whatsername: Yeah…um. So tell me about yourselves.
Contestant 1: Well, I like taking vacations and ogling at girls! And ditching the wife.
Whatsername: You're….married?
Contestant 2: I hate my wife. I also cheat on her. I don't like my friends. I like rent.
Whatsername: Ok…
Contestant 3: I LIKE GIRLS.
Whatsername: That's great….Now, um….what's your ideal date?
Contestant 1: Well, it depends. You know, they handle these things SO much better in France.
Whatsername: Sure. You?
Contestant 2: I dunno…just not the Life Café.
Contestant 3: NOT IN A HAYLOFT. BAD THINGS HAPPEN THERE.
Whatsername: You guys all suck….
Audience member: HUBERT! IS THAT YOU?
Contestant 1: BOTHERATION!
Audience member: REMEMBER HUBERT! WE ARE BRITISH!
Whatsername: Just go….
Contestant 1: It's never too late to fall in love. *wink*
Whatsername: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
Contestant 1: 83.
Whatsername: DEAR GOD!
Contestant 3: I'M LIKE 14. BUT NOT REALLY. GO OUT WITH ME PLEASE.
Whatsername: Why do you talk like that?
Contestant 3: Well, I figure since I actually HAVE lines, I might as well savor them.
Whatsername: Sure….
Host :Have you come to a conclusion?
Whatsername: So I have to pick?
Host: YOU HAVE TO PICK OR WE'LL PICK FOR YOU!
Whatsername: THREE! THREE, OK? GOD!
Host: Tada!
Contestant 1: Why, you're quite the sporty little filly!
Whatsername: Sporty little filly?
Host: If you guess Lord Brockhurst, you're right!
Whatsername: Make him stop staring at my ass.
Host: We're not responsible for that. Contestant number 2!
Contestant 2: YOU'LL SEE OR YOU'LL PACK!
Host: Benjamin Coffin III. AND YOUR PICK NUMBER 3!
Contestant 3: Hi….
Host: You've chosen OTTO!
Whatsername: Don't I know you from somewhere?
Otto: No….no you don't.
Whatsername: Whatever….
*they leave*
Jimmy*popping out of nowhere* So when are we gonna tell her that that's the 83 year old man in disguise?
Heather: She'll find out….
A/N: Those two are evil. They're on the BOO YOU WHORE list. XD
Reviews?